Politically Incorrect Humor bulletin, 2017
For the list of top articles see Recommended Links section
- 20171230 : EXPLOSIVE Senate email says anyone of Russian nationality or Russian descent will now be targeted ( Dec 30, 2017 , theduran.com )
- 20171229 : "Vovan" and "Lexus" presented their book on Moscow's bookfair - For whom the Phone Rings ( Dec 29, 2017 , turcopolier.typepad.com )
- 20171225 : Sigh, Russian pranksters fool UN ambassador Nikki Haley, makes up a new country and the stupid Haley believes it ( Dec 24, 2017 , www.moonofalabama.org )
- 20171224 : Angelina Jolie write article with Nato chief! ( Dec 24, 2017 , www.moonofalabama.org )
- 20171223 : Slovenia is among the Coalition of the 128 NOT willing to be punked by USA. Melania better keep a low profile around Trump and Nikki ( Dec 23, 2017 , marknesop.wordpress.com )
- 20171219 : Mark Ames Kathy Lally Was Caught Trying To Censor Journalism In Russia and Now Deceitfully Claims She's a Victim ( Dec 19, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20171209 : The Year of the Headless [neo]Liberal Chicken ( Dec 09, 2017 , www.counterpunch.org )
- 20171207 : A truly hilarious skit spoofing Chuck Hagel's hearing, that the public didn't get to see. Well worth viewing. ( Dec 05, 2017 , www.unz.com )
- 20171206 : Is it true that there is a statue of Saint Hillary Our Lady of the Van Toss in the foyer of the FBI's DC headquarters? ( Dec 06, 2017 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20171130 : The Dog that Didn't Bark, by If the neoliberal dogma forbids taxing, if the offshore are sacred, what remains for a diligent leader but a plush five-star hotel and a band of experienced torturers? ( Nov 30, 2017 , www.unz.com )
- 20171108 : Top-Ten Criteria for being a Putin Stooge, and a Chance at Winning A One Way Lottery Ticket to the Gala Gitmo Hotel ( Nov 08, 2017 , consortiumnews.com )
- 20171107 : The deep economic complementarily of Ukraine and Europe. We have prostitutes; you have johns. Let's make a deal ( Nov 06, 2017 , marknesop.wordpress.com )
- 20171104* Who's Afraid of Corporate COINTELPRO by C. J. Hopkins ( Nov 04, 2017 , www.unz.com ) [Recommended]
- 20171104* Who's Afraid of Corporate COINTELPRO by C. J. Hopkins ( Nov 04, 2017 , www.unz.com ) [Recommended]
- 20171030 : Russian Content May Have Reached 126 Million Facebook Users, There Is Just One Catch ( Oct 30, 2017 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20171028 : A Review of What Happened by an Author Who Insists He Has Never Heard of Hillary Clinton or the 2016 Election Politics by Emmett Rensin ( Oct 04, 2017 , www.pastemagazine.com )
- 20171024 : The Blind Justice Lady is real ( Oct 24, 2017 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20171023 : If granny had become POTUS there might have been a lot more radiation around the world because of her "charm". ( Oct 23, 2017 , marknesop.wordpress.com )
- 20171016 : Intelligence Assessment of Russian Hacking or Collusion by Mike Whitney ( Oct 14, 2017 , www.unz.com )
- 20171013* Sympathy for the Corporatocracy by C. J. Hopkins ( Oct 13, 2017 , www.unz.com ) [Recommended]
- 20171013* Sympathy for the Corporatocracy by C. J. Hopkins ( Oct 13, 2017 , www.unz.com ) [Recommended]
- 20171010 : At least the Russians have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Here's their new ad campaign for RT UK ( Oct 10, 2017 , www.unz.com )
- 20170927 : McMaster and Kelly have Trump under White house arrest. ( crookedtimber.org )
- 20170923 : Sensational Report Is Russiagate a Hoax Ordered by Vladimir Putin ( Sep 23, 2017 , russia-insider.com )
- 20170801 : Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow ( Aug 01, 2017 , profile.theguardian.com )
- 20170627 : I am so fucking tired of Russian hacking bullshit by now, ( Jun 27, 2017 , marknesop.wordpress.com )
- 20170607 : Something about privatization of air traffic contollers ( Jun 07, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170607 : Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies and other proposals for the title of Hillary new book ( Jun 07, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170525 : Wow, Trump just hasnt been the same since he touched that orb by Lambert Strether ( May 23, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170522 : NSA is here to help you or Spying as a service (SAAS) ( May 22, 2017 , www.unz.com )
- 20170514 : Lets Go To Peak Trump Hysteria-Ambassador Kislyak For FBI Chief! by John Derbyshire ( www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170505 : In defence of the size of Obama bribe ( Apr 28, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170427 : Obama's $400,000 Wall Street Speech Is Completely In Character Obama isn't just showing that he is a creature of the banks ( Apr 27, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170421 : First Transgender President Trump Becomes Hillary by Fred Reed ( Apr 20, 2017 , unz.com )
- 20170417 : The Syria Strikes A Conspiracy Theory ( Apr 17, 2017 , www.moonofalabama.org )
- 20170404 : Too much neoliberal swamp gas ( Apr 04, 2017 , economistsview.typepad.com )
- 20170401 : Russias New Voicemail Press 2 For Services Of Russian Hackers, Press 3 For Election Interference ( Apr 01, 2017 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20170331 : Soviet Jokes Kept Secret for Decades in Recently Declassified CIA Docs ( Mar 31, 2017 , sputniknews.com )
- 20170331 : Soviet Jokes Kept Secret for Decades in Recently Declassified CIA Docs ( Mar 31, 2017 , sputniknews.com )
- 20170227 : February 24, 2017 at 3:13 pm ( Feb 27, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170227 : February 24, 2017 at 3:13 pm ( Feb 27, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170225 : Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the irony ( Feb 25, 2017 , economistsview.typepad.com )
- 20170220 : As a bonus, they will learn what fallout is. ( Feb 20, 2017 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20170121 : Departing Obama Tearfully Shoos Away Loyal Drone Following Him Out Of White House ( Jan 21, 2017 , www.theonion.com )
- 20170112 : The WHO warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by Steve Keen ( Jan 12, 2017 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20170112 : The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income ( Jan 12, 2017 , economistsview.typepad.com )
- 20170103 : That's how you forge the Third Way democratic coalition ( Jan 03, 2017 , economistsview.typepad.com )
- 20161225 : CIA Troll Food - 10 ways to spot a Russian Spy Zero Hedge ( Dec 25, 2016 , www.zerohedge.com )
- 20161220 : ClubOrlov The Power of Nyet ( July 26. 2016 , cluborlov.blogspot.com )
- 20161220 : ClubOrlov Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha! ( Dec 16, 2016 , cluborlov.blogspot.com )
- 20161217 : Manmade globall warming triggers 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck! ( www.zerohedge.com )
- 20161217 : Manmade globall warming triggers 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker truck! ( www.zerohedge.com )
- 20161215 : FaKe NeWS FLoW CHaRT ( www.zerohedge.com )
- 20161214 : Why has there never been a coup in the US? ( discussion.theguardian.com )
- 20161207 : New name for Yves Smith and Naked Capilism -- Eva Smirnova and ( Dec 07, 2016 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20161207 : In view of listing on PropOrNot should ( Dec 07, 2016 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20161207 : Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed H.R. 6393: Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are at war with Israel! ( www.moonofalabama.org )
- 20161119 : Syrian child disappointed she won't get to be drone-striked by the first female president by Duffel Blog ( Nov 13, 2016 , duffelblog.com )
- 20161112 : What Donald Trumps First Day at the White House Might Look Like ( Nov 12, 2016 , russia-insider.com )
- 20161112 : Voting for Clinton is like eating the fork, and only a complete moron would do that. ( Nov 12, 2016 , discussion.theguardian.com )
- 20161108 : If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putins ipad. ( Nov 08, 2016 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20161103 : Bill must feel left out ( Nov 03, 2016 , discussion.theguardian.com )
- 20160909 : Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch ( Jul 01, 2016 , www.nakedcapitalism.com )
- 20160909 : Funny I always thought of the anti-Christ as a man ( Jul 29, 2016 , www.truthdig.com )
- 20160801 : Let Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am ( Medium )
- 20160729 : What the fuck is your problem, America ( www.truthdig.com )
- 20160728 : Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans dont!!! ( marknesop.wordpress.com )
- 20160310 : Trump on how much will be two plus two ( discussion.theguardian.com )
geoff ,
December 29, 2017 1:49 PM
Max Boot, MAX BOOT everyone, he's obviously a Russian agent, he was born in Moscow, he
MUST have ties to Putin if he was born in Moscow. He's a deep cover RUSSIAN AGENT, Max Boot
everyone !!
VeeNarian
(Yerevan)
geoff ,
December 29, 2017 2:59 PM
Boot that Max! Lock him up!!!
Lyttenburgh said in reply to Kooshy...
26 December 2017 at 06:11 PM
Last month or two, "Vovan" and "Lexus" presented their book on Moscow's bookfair - For
whom the Phone Rings . Fun read, providing not only transcriptions of their phonecalls,
but also the background information - how they acquired the phone number, who connected them
to their victim, how they prepared for the prank, the context and consequences. Most of all
they targeted Mikhail Saakashvili. The most damaging their prank was for Ihor Kolomoisky,
back when he was still governor.
Oh, and Julia Ioffe (kicked out from the Politico) mentioned them two raskals in her
latest (unreadable) article for the Atlantic - What Putin really wants .
Binomo as a new county. Ohh those russians...
Nikki Haley's Binomo: UN Ambassador Duped By Russian Pranksters
December 24, 2017
Hunter
Wallace
Foreign
Policy
,
Humor
,
MAGA
,
Neocons
27
I'm dying
:
"The US ambassador to the United Nations has fallen victim to a phone prank perpetrated by a famous Russian duo, with whom
she discussed the affairs of a fictional South China Sea island nation and the alleged harassment of the Ukrainian president
by Kevin Spacey.
Notorious Russian pranksters Vladimir Kuznetsov (Vovan) and Alexey Stolyarov (Lexus) have managed to one-up the US
government by calling Nikki Haley and tricking her into thinking that she was speaking with Polish Prime Minister Mateusz
Morawiecki.
During the phone conversation, the pranksters probed Haley's opinion about the island nation of Binomo -- a fictional country
located in the South China Sea not far from Vietnam, and invented by Vovan and Lexus for that occasion. "
When the pranksters told Haley that the country recently proclaimed independence and that the Russians have meddled in the
elections held there she immediately replied "of course they did!" The ambassador also stated that the US is aware of the
situation that it will continue to monitor it closely just as Washington deals with all issues "that keep coming up in the
South China Sea." "
Skip to 11:25.
http://www.youtube.com/embed/9RgXL7byTF0
Anonynmous | Dec 24, 2017 11:43:11 AM | 25
You cant make this up, Bimbo actor Angelina Jolie write article with Nato chief!
http://russia-insider.com/en/jens-stoltenberg-and-angelina-jolie-call-nato-intervention-promote-gender-equality/ri21993
Ort , Dec 24, 2017 11:58:23 AM | 26
Fröhliche Weihnachten, B und alles!
I hope my virtually-unused high school German isn't too rusty after 45 years. ;)
____________________________________
@ Anonynmous | 25
The spectacle of Jens Stoltenberg and Angelina Jolie posturing as identity-politics
paragons is... speaking of German, once again I wish for one of those unique German compound
words that express a commonplace binary emotion: in this case, simultaneous amusement and
annoyance.
So I'm making one up: lustigärgerlich . I find this bumptious odd couple
lustigärgerlich.
To make a timely parallel, it's as if during the first Christmas, King Herod and Salome
issued a proclamation urging the populace to be especially kind and considerate to children
everywhere.
dh , Dec 24, 2017 12:05:06 PM | 28
@25, 26....That's the way it works. Any male who doesn't agree is a misogynist.
Brads Pitt is dating again BTW....but he's taking it very slowly.
http://www.sheknows.com/entertainment/articles/1137484/brad-pitt-is-dating-again
Northern Star , ,
December 21, 2017 at 1:13 pm
Uh Oh Slovenia is among the Coalition of the 128 NOT willing to be punked by USA..
Maybe some panic stricken late night 911 DV calls from the WH??
Melania better keep a low profile around Trump and Nikki !!!!!! LOL!!
Jen ,
December 21, 2017 at 2:48 pm
India was naughty as well and Nimrata Nikki Randhawa Haley ought to have taken the Indian
ambassador's name down as well. Maybe she'll even declare she won't ever set foot in India
again. Her relatives there will breathe sighs of relief!
Cortes ,
December 21, 2017 at 4:27 pm
She's made herself untouchable.
Jen ,
December 21, 2017 at 8:03 pm
Ha ha!
Moscow
Exile ,
December 21, 2017 at 8:41 pm
She makes me Sikh
We accompanied that with a prank in which we posed as Potanin calling the Washington Wizards
for courtside seats, Harvard University business school to purchase a degree, and the Augusta
National Golf Club -- brandishing Hiatt's article for access:
eXile : I am Russian banker, so-called robber baron capitalist, am interested in
purchasing your degree.
Harvard : ( pause ) Uh, sir, you can't buy the degree, but you can enroll in our
program. It's an intensive 9 week program, and you receive a certificate, not a degree.
eXile : No, this is no good. Do you realize who I am? Fred Hiatt wrote about me in today
Washington Post, that I am not typical robber baron. I am ze baby billionaire.
Harvard : We read a lot about Russia and it sounds very exciting.
eXile : Of course it exciting. Now I vant Harvard degree.
Harvard : You can't buy a degree.
eXile : Maybe instead I build nice cafe for you on campus. Or I can donate small nightclub
for Harvard degree.
Harvard : Sir, Harvard is a 350-year-old institution. It's not all just about money. We've
turned down princes.
eXile : NOT ABOUT MONEY? Hah!
Notable quotes:
"... No, the corporate ruling classes' endgame here is to reestablish neoliberal "normality," so we can get back to the War on Terror (or whatever they'll be calling it by then), and put this neo-nationalist revolt against neoliberalism episode behind us. To do that, they will need to install some sort of hopey-changey, Obama-like messiah, or at least somebody who can play the part of POTUS like a normal person and not sit around the Oval Office gobbling McDonald's and retweeting racist memes by random British fascists. ..."
According to the Chinese zodiac, 2017 has been the Year of the Rooster. Myself, I've decided
to designate it the Year of the Headless [neo]Liberal Chicken. I don't mean that to be insulting or,
all right, I guess I do, a little. But my heart goes out to [neo]Liberals, seriously. At this point,
the amount of utterly baseless, contradictory propaganda, mass hysteria, and just flat out
insanity the ruling classes have demanded they swallow is more than any human mind, no matter
how medicated, could possibly handle. Is it any wonder so many of them of lost it and started
seeing Nazis and Russians coming out of the woodwork? Just consider what the average liberal
has been forced to try to cognitively reconcile since the tragic events of last November
First came the overwhelming shock of Hillary Clinton's loss to Trump, a repulsive, word
salad-babbling buffoon with absolutely no political experience who the media had been
portraying to [neo]Liberals as the Second Coming of Adolf Hitler. This was a candidate, let's
recall, who jabbered about building a "beautiful wall" to protect us from the hordes of
"Mexican rapists" and other "bad hombres" who were invading America, and who had boasted about
grabbing women "by the pussy" like a prepubescent 6th grade boy. While he had served as a
perfect foil for Clinton, and had provided hours of entertainment in a comic book villain kind
of way, the prospect of a Donald Trump presidency was inconceivable in the minds of [neo]Liberals.
So, when it happened, it was like the Martians had invaded.
Mass hysteria gripped the nation. There was beaucoup wailing and gnashing of teeth. [neo]Liberals
began exhibiting irrational and, in some cases, rather disturbing behaviors. Many degenerated
into dissociative states and just sat there with their phones for hours obsessively reloading
the popular vote count, which Clinton had won, on FiveThirtyEight. Others festooned
themselves with safety pins and went out looking for defenseless minorities who they could
"demonstrate solidarity" with. Owen Jones flew in from London to join his colleague Steven
Thrasher, who was organizing a guerilla force to resist "
the normalization of Trump " and the global race war he was about to launch, which "not all
of us were going to get out of alive."
In the weeks immediately following the election, the mainstream media inundated [neo]Liberals
with pronouncements of the advent of an "
Age of Darkness " and the "
Triumph of White Supremacy " over the beneficent values of Globalism. Yes, it was pretty
much the end of everything .
America was facing nothing less than a descent into "
racial Orwellianism ," "
Zionist anti-Semitism ," and " the bottomless pit of Fascism " itself.
[neo]Liberals, who by then had dispensed with the safety pins, immediately set about
terrorizing their children with visions of the impending holocaust , which would be carried
out by the
genocidal, racist monsters who had voted for Trump.
At that point, the media had been hammering hard on the Trump-is-Hitler narrative for
months, so they had to stick with that for a while. It had only been a few weeks, after all,
since The Wall Street
Journal The
New York Times
The Washington Post
The Guardian , and numerous other
establishment publications , had explained how Trump was using special fascist code words
like "global elites," "international banks," and "lobbyists" to signal his virulent hatred of
the Jews to the millions of Americans who, according to the media, were secretly Hitler-loving
fascists.
This initial post-election propaganda was understandably somewhat awkward, as the plan had
been to be able to celebrate the "Triumph of Love over the Forces of Hate," and the demise of
the latest Hitlerian bogeyman. But this was the risk the ruling classes took when they chose to
go ahead and Hitlerize Trump, which they wouldn't have done if they'd thought for a moment that
he had a chance of actually winning the election. That's the tricky thing about Hitlerizing
people. You need to be able to kill them, eventually. If you don't, when they turn out not to
be Hitler, your narrative kind of falls apart, and the people you've fear-mongered into a
frenzy of frothing, self-righteous fake-Hitler-hatred end up feeling like a bunch of dupes
who'll believe anything the government tells them. This is why, normally, you only Hitlerize
foreign despots you can kill with impunity. This is Hitlerization 101 stuff, which the ruling
classes ignored in this case, which the left poor [neo]Liberals terrified that Trump was actually
going to start building Trump-branded death camps and rounding up the Jews.
Fortunately, just in the nick of time, the ruling classes and their media mouthpieces rolled
out the Russian Propaganda story. The Washington Post (whose owner's multimillion dollar
deal with the CIA, of course, has absolutely no effect on the quality of its professional
journalism) led the charge with
this McCarthyite smear job , legitimizing the baseless allegations of some random website
and a think tank staffed by charlatans like
this "Russia expert," who appears not to speak a word of Russian or have any other "Russia
expert" credentials, but is available both for television and Senate Intelligence Committee
appearances. Numerous similar smear pieces
followed. [neo]Liberals breathed a big sigh of relief that Hitler business had been getting kind of
scary. How long can you go, after all, with Hitler stumbling around the White House before
somebody has to go in there and shoot him?
In any event, by January, the media were playing down the Hitler stuff and going balls-out
on the "Russiagate" story. According to The Washington Post (which, let's remember, is a
serious newspaper, as opposed to a propaganda organ of the so-called US "Intelligence
Community"), not only had the Russians "hacked" the election, but they had
hacked the Vermont power grid ! Editorialists at The New York Times were declaring
that Trump "
had been appointed by Putin ," and that the USA was now "at war" with Russia. This was also
around the time when [neo]Liberals first learned of the
Trump-Russia Dossier , which detailed how Putin was blackmailing Trump with a video the FSB
had shot of Trump and a bunch of Russian hookers peeing on a bed in a Moscow hotel in which
Obama had allegedly slept.
This nonsense was reported completely straight-faced, and thus [neo]Liberals were forced to take
it seriously. Imagine the cognitive dissonance they suffered. It was like that scene in
1984 when the Party abruptly switches enemies, and the war with Eurasia becomes the war
with Eastasia. Suddenly, Trump wasn't Hitler anymore. Now he was a Russian sleeper agent who
Putin had been blackmailing into destroying democracy with this incriminating "golden showers"
video. Putin had presumably been "running" Trump since Trump's visit to Russia in 2013 to
hobnob with "Russia-linked" Russian businessmen and attend the Miss Universe pageant in Moscow.
During the ensuing partying, Trump must have gotten loaded on Diet Coke and gotten carried away
with those Russian hookers. Now, Putin had him by the short hairs and was forcing him to staff
his Manchurian cabinet with corporate CEOs and Goldman Sachs guys, who probably had also been
videotaped by the FSB in Moscow hotels paying hookers to pee on furniture, or performing
whatever other type of seditious, perverted kink they were into.
Before the poor [neo]Liberals had time to process this, the ruling classes launched "the
Resistance." You remember the Pussyhat
People , don't you? And the global corporate PR campaign which accompanied their historic
"Womens' March" on Washington? Do you remember [neo]Liberals like Michael Moore shrieking for the feds to arrest
Donald Trump ? Or publications like
The New York Times
Salon , and many others, and even State
Satirist Stephen Colbert accusing Trump and anyone who supported him of treason a crime,
let's recall, that is punishable by death? Do you remember folks like William Kristol and Rob "the Meathead"
Reiner demanding that the "deep state" launch a coup against Trump to rescue America from
the Russian infiltrators?
Ironically, the roll-out of this "Russiagate" hysteria was so successful that it peaked too
soon, and prematurely backlashed all over itself. By March, when Trump had not been arrested,
nor otherwise removed from office, [neo]Liberals, who by that time the corporate media had teased
into an incoherent, throbbing state of anticipation were well, rather disappointed. By April,
they were exhibiting all the hallmark symptoms of clinical psychosis. This mental breakdown was
due to the fact that the media pundits and government spooks who had been telling them that
Trump was Hitler, and then a Russian sleeper agent, were now telling them that he wasn't so
bad , because he'd pointlessly bombed a Syrian airstrip, and dropped a $314 million Massive
Ordnance Air Blast bomb on some alleged "terrorist caves" in Afghanistan.
As if [neo]Liberals' poor brains weren't rattled enough, the corporate media then switched back
to, first, the Russian Propaganda narrative (which they expanded into a global threat), then,
the Hitler stuff again, but this time Trump wasn't actually Hitler, because Putin was Hitler,
or at least he was fomenting Hitlerism throughout the West with his legions of fascist hacker
bots who were "influencing" unsuspecting consumers with their blitzkrieg of divisive "fake
news" stories. Oh, yeah, and now
Putin had also done Brexit , or Trump and Robert Mercer had, but they were working for
Putin, who had also hacked the
French election that he hadn't hacked , or whatever
this was no time to worry about what had or hadn't actually happened. The peace and prosperity
President Obama had reestablished throughout the West by incessantly bombing the Greater Middle
East and bailing out his pals at the Wall Street banks was being torn asunder by Vladimir
Putin, who at some point had apparently metamorphosized from a ruthless, former KGB autocrat
into a white supremacist megalomaniac.
Right on cue, on the weekend of August 11-12 in Charlottesville, Virginia,
where there had never been any history of racism , a "national gathering" of approximately
five hundred tiki torch-bearing neo-Nazis, Ku Klux Klan types, and other white supremacists,
many of them barking Nazi slogans, marched into the pages of history. Never before have so few
fascists owed so much to the mainstream media, which showered them with overwrought coverage,
triggering a national Nazi panic. [neo]Liberals poured into the streets, tearing down Confederate
monuments, and otherwise signaling their total intolerance of the racism they had tolerated
until a few days earlier.
People named after Robert E. Lee , and horses named after
General Lee's horse , went into hiding to until the panic subsided. This was wise, as by
then the so-called anti-fascists were showing up in force at anything resembling a right-wing
rally and stomping the living Hitler out of Nazis, and Trump supporters, and journalists, and
well, anyone they didn't think looked quite right. This totally preemptively self-defensive,
non-violent type of violent behavior, naturally, shocked and horrified [neo]Liberals, who are
strongly opposed to all forms of violence that aren't carried out by the US military, or the
police, or someone else wearing a uniform. Unsure as to whom they were supposed to condemn, the
Nazis or the Antifa terrorists, they turned for guidance to the corporate ruling classes, who
informed them
it was time to censor the Internet
This made about as much sense as any of the other nonsense they'd been spoonfed so far, so [neo]Liberals decided to get behind it, or at least look the other way while it happened. Facebook,
Google, Amazon, Twitter (and all the other corporations that control the Internet, the media,
Hollywood, the publishing industry, and every other means of representing "reality") surely
have people's best interests at heart. Plus, they're only censoring the Nazis, and the
terrorists, and the Russian "fake news" disseminators, and, OK, a lot of leftist publications, and
award-winning journalists , and anyone else espousing "divisive," anti-American, or
anti-corporate, "extremist" views.
Look, I know what you're probably thinking, but it isn't like [neo]Liberals don't actually care
about fundamental liberal values like freedom of the press and speech and all that. It's just
that they desperately need the Democrats to take back the House and the Senate next year, so
they can get on with impeaching Trump, and if they have to stand by while the corporations
suppress a little leftist dissent, or, you know, transform the entire Internet into a massive,
mind-numbing echo chamber of neo-McCarthyite corporate conformity well, sacrifices have to be
made.
This can't go on forever, after all. This level of full-blown mass hysteria can only be
sustained for so long. It's all fine and good to be able to whip people up into a frenzied mob,
but at some point you need to have an endgame. The neoliberal ruling classes know this. Their
endgame is actually fairly simple. Their plan is to (a) make an example of Trump to discourage
any future billionaire idiots from screwing with their simulation of democracy, and (b)
demonize anyone deviating from neoliberal ideology as a fascist, racist, or anti-Semite, or
otherwise "abnormal" or "extremist." Their plan is not to incinerate the entire planet
in a war with Russia. We're not on the brink of World War III, despite how many Twitter likes
or Facebook shares it might get me to say that. Yes, eventually, they want to force Russia to
return to the kind of "cooperation" it engaged in during the 1990s, when it was run by an
incorrigible drunkard and the Goldman Sachs boys and their oligarch pals were looting the
country for all it was worth but that has little to do with all this.
No, the corporate ruling classes' endgame here is to reestablish neoliberal "normality,"
so we can get back to the War on Terror (or whatever they'll be calling it by then), and put
this
neo-nationalist revolt against neoliberalism episode behind us. To do that, they will need
to install some sort of hopey-changey, Obama-like messiah, or at least somebody who can play
the part of POTUS like a normal person and not sit around the Oval Office gobbling McDonald's
and retweeting racist memes by random British fascists.
The way things are going, that might take a while, but rest assured they'll get there
eventually. Now that Robert Mueller has proved that Trump colluded with Vladimir Putin by
obstructing an investigation by Comey into Michael Flynn's lying to the FBI about not colluding
with the Russian ambassador on behalf of Israel at Kushner's behest, the dominoes are surely
about to fall. Once they all have, and Donald Trump's head has been mounted on a spike on the
White House lawn as a warning to any other potential usurpers, all this Russia and Nazi
hysteria that has the poor [neo]Liberals running around like headless chickens will disappear.
Russia will go back to being Russia. The North American Nazi Menace, deprived of daily media
coverage, will go back to being a fringe phenomenon. [neo]Liberals will go back to ignoring politics
(except identity politics, naturally) and obediently serving the global capitalist ruling
elites that are destroying the planet, and the lives of millions of human beings, in order to
increase their profit margins. Sure, there'll be a brief emotional hangover, once the
adrenaline rush wears off and they look back at their tweets and Facebook posts, which in
hindsight might convey the impression that they spent the better part of a year parroting
whatever insane propaganda the corporate media pumped out at them, and otherwise behaving like
Good
Americans but then, that's what the "delete" key is for. Join the debate on
Facebook More articles by: CJ Hopkins C. J. Hopkins is an
award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are
published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel,
ZONE 23 , is
published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .
https://www.liveleak.com/view?i=2ce_1360619328
Whoa Dammit ->
yaright ,
Dec 6, 2017 12:27 PM
Is it true that there is a statue of Saint Hillary Our Lady of the Van Toss in the foyer of
the FBI's DC headquarters?
Hundreds of other princes and gentlemen were tortured, too, until they agreed to surrender their ill-gotten assets, 70% of all
they have. As I write, and as you read these lines, the torture goes on, and so far MBS has already milked his victims of
hundreds of billions $$ worth of cash and assets.
"An Extortion racket", you'll exclaim. Perhaps MBS watched The Godfather in his impressionable youth and was
impressed by efficiency of their methods. However, he has solved, or rather is in the process of solving, the problem of
solvency.
Perhaps this is the method to be advised to Trump and Putin, as well as to other leaders? If the neoliberal dogma forbids
taxing, if the offshore are sacred, what remains for a diligent leader but a plush five-star hotel and a band of experienced
torturers?
Extracted from comments to Learning to Love
McCarthyism By Robert Parry
Howard Mettee , November 6, 2017 at
4:50 pm
Bob,
You are one of the very few critical journalists today willing to print objective measures
of the truth, while the MSM spins out of control under the guise of "protecting America" (and
their vital sources), while at the same time actually undermining the very principles of a
working democracy they sanctimoniously pretend to defend. It makes me nostalgic for the
McCarthy era, when we could safely satirize the Army-McCarthy Hearings (unless you were a
witness!). I offer the following as a retrospective of a lost era.:
Top-Ten Criteria for being a Putin Stooge, and a Chance at Winning A One Way Lottery
Ticket to the Gala Gitmo Hotel:
(1) Reading Consortium News, Truth Dig, The Real News Network, RT and Al Jeziera
(2) Drinking Starbucks and vodka at the Russian Tea Room with Russian tourists (with an
embedded FSS agent) in NYC.
(3) Meeting suspicious tour guides in Red Square who accept dollars for their historical
jokes.
(4) Claiming to catch a cell phone photo of the Putin limousine passing through the
Kremlin Tower gate.
(4) Starting a joint venture with a Russian trading partner who sells grain to feed
Putin's stable of stallions.
(5) Catching the flu while being sneezed upon in Niagara Falls by a Russian violinist.
(6) Finding the hidden jewels in the Twelfth Chair were nothing but cut glass.
(7) Reading War and Peace on the Brighton Beach ferry.
(8) Playing the iPod version of Rachmaninoff's "Vespers" through ear buds while attending
mass in Dallas, TX..
(9) Water skiing on the Potomac flying a pennant saying "Wasn't Boris Good Enough?"
(10) Having audibly chuckled even once at items (1) -- (9).
Abe , November 6, 2017 at 5:45 pm
The Russia-gate "witch-hunt" has graduated from McCarthyism to full Monty Pythonism:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k3jt5ibfRzw
November 6, 2017 at 1:02 pm
Did not the Kremlin Stooges predict this years ago?
http://theduran.com/new-migration-data-shows-every-fourth-prostitute-europe-citizen-ukraine/
The international organization for migration has published official data which shows that
every fourth prostitute in Europe is a citizen of Ukraine.
The article discusses pamphlets that are distributed to young Ukrainian girls/women advising
them on how to survive and flourish in new realities of life in the EU.
the Ukrainian labor market is being formed and is growing. Even if there is no other work
and none is expected, girls should know that Europe will take care of them. The younger
generation of Ukrainian schoolgirls will find out how to apply themselves If you are involved
in the sex business, then this brochure is for you," it is said in the introduction. "You have
chosen a very dangerous profession, but if you always follow these simple rules, then you will
get a chance to live a long life You shouldn't serve several clients alone, you should avoid
drunk clients, and also always to take payment in advance. And when you go to the client's
apartment, try to learn in what district of the city it is located, give preference to
hotels".
marknesop
,
November 6, 2017 at 1:15 pm
It's okay if you're a hooker, and all you have to sell is yourself. You have chosen a
dangerous profession, but really the writing was on the wall, wasn't it, if only you'd had
sense to read it? And the economic calamity which has come to pass in your country is really
no concern of ours, while for our part we are not too upset at being offered the choice of
some of the most beautiful young women on the planet, who will do anything you say for a
handful of euros.
Here's to your bright new future in the EU. Incredible. I wonder if Poroshenko will tout
this statistic as another validation of Ukrainians' confidence in his leadership.
Ryan Ward ,
November 7, 2017 at 5:44 am
Either that or the deep economic complementarity of Ukraine and Europe. We have prostitutes;
you have johns. Let's make a deal
Highly recommended!
These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much
deeper level.
Notable quotes:
"... I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise. What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism, where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible. ..."
"... Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of as "literature." ..."
"... These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much deeper level. ..."
"... Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major corporation. ..."
"... C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org . ..."
On November 30, 2016, presumably right at the stroke of midnight, Google Inc. unpersoned
CounterPunch. They didn't send out a press release or anything. They just quietly removed it
from the Google News aggregator. Not very many people noticed. This happened just as the "fake
news" hysteria was being unleashed by the corporate media, right around the time The Washington
Post ran
this neo-McCarthyite smear piece vicariously accusing CounterPunch, and a number of other
publications, of being "peddlers of Russian propaganda." As I'm sure you'll recall, that
astounding piece of "journalism" (which The Post was promptly forced to disavow with an absurd
disclaimer but has refused to retract) was based on the claims of an anonymous website
apparently staffed by a couple of teenagers and a formerly rabidly anti-Communist, now rabidly
anti-Putin think tank. Little did most people know at the time that these were just the opening
salvos in what has turned out to be an all-out crackdown on any and all forms of vocal
opposition to the global corporate ruling classes and their attempts to quash the ongoing
nationalist backlash against their neoliberal agenda.
Almost a year later, things are much clearer. If you haven't been following this story
closely, and you care at all about freedom of the press, freedom of speech, and that kind of
stuff, you may want to take an hour or two and catch up a bit on what's been happening. I
offered a few examples of some of the measures governments and corporations have been taking to
stifle expressions of dissent in my latest
piece in CounterPunch , and there are many more detailed articles online, like this one by Andre
Damon from July, and this follow-up he published last
week (which reports that Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Chris Hedges has also
been unpersoned). Or, if you're the type of soul who only believes what corporations tell you,
and who automatically dismisses anything published by a Trotskyist website, here's
one from last December in The Guardian , and an
op-ed in The New York Times , both of which at least report what Google, Twitter, and
Facebook are up to. Or you could read this
piece by Robert Parry , who also has "legitimate" (i.e., corporate) credentials, and who
hasn't been unpersoned just yet, although I'm sure they'll get around to him eventually.
I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise.
What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While
there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from
so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of
anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism,
where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning
CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like
Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to
readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and
articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible.
Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself
from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and
any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer
like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen
to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers
like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of
as "literature."
Yes, as you've probably guessed by now, in addition to writing political satire, I am, as
rogue journalist Caitlin Johnstone so aptly put it once, an "elitist wanker." I've spent the
majority of my adult life writing stage plays and working in the theater, and it doesn't get
any more elitist than that. My plays are published by "establishment" publishers, have won a
few awards, and have been produced internationally. I recently published my "debut novel"
(which is what you call it if you're an elitist wanker) and am currently trying to promote and
sell it. I mention this, not to blow my little horn, but to the set the stage to try to
illustrate how these post-Orwellian intimidation tactics (i.e., unpersoning people from the
Internet) work. These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much
deeper level.
The depressing fact of the matter is, in our brave new Internet-dominated world,
corporations like Google, Twitter, and Facebook (not to mention Amazon), are, for elitist
wankers like me, in the immortal words of Colonel Kurz, "either friends or they are truly
enemies to be feared." If you are in the elitist wanker business, regardless of whether you're
Jonathan Franzen, Garth Risk Hallberg, Margaret Atwood, or some "mid-list" or "emerging"
author, there is no getting around these corporations. So it's kind of foolish, professionally
speaking, to write a bunch of essays that will piss them off, and then publish these essays in
CounterPunch. Literary agents advise against this. Other elitist literary wankers, once they
discover what you've been doing, will avoid you like the bubonic plague. Although it's
perfectly fine to write books and movies about fictional evil corporations, writing about how
real corporations are using their power to mold societies into self-policing virtual prisons of
politically-correct, authoritarian consumers is well, it's something that is just not done in
professional elitist wanker circles.
Normally, all this goes without saying, as these days most elitist wankers are trained how
to write, and read, and think, in MFA conformity factories, where they screen out any unstable
weirdos with unhealthy interests in political matters. This is to avoid embarrassing episodes
like Harold
Pinter's Nobel Prize lecture (which, if you haven't read it, you probably should), and is
why so much of contemporary literature is so well-behaved and instantly forgettable. This
institutionalized screening system is also why the majority of journalists employed by
mainstream media outlets understand, without having to be told, what they are, and are not,
allowed to report. Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a
question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional
coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a
particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been
destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major
corporation.
Or let me provide you with a personal example.
A couple weeks ago, I googled myself (which we elitist wankers are wont to do), and noticed
that two of my published books had disappeared from the "Knowledge Panel" that appears in the
upper right of the search results. I also noticed that the people "People Also Search For" in
the panel had changed. For years, consistently, the people you saw there had been a variety of
other elitist literary wankers and leftist types. Suddenly, they were all rather right-wing
types, people like Ilana Mercer and John Derbyshire, and other VDARE writers. So that was a
little disconcerting.
I set out to contact the Google Search specialists to inquire about this mysterious
development, and was directed to a series of unhelpful web pages directing me to other
unhelpful pages with little boxes where you can write and submit a complaint to Google, which
they will completely ignore. Being an elitist literary wanker, I also wrote to Google Books,
and exchanged a number of cordial emails with an entity (let's call her Ms. O'Brien) who
explained that, for "a variety of reasons," the "visibility" of my books (which had been
consistently visible for many years) was subject to change from day to day, and that,
regrettably, she couldn't assist me further, and that sending her additional cordial emails was
probably a pointless waste of time. Ms. O'Brien was also pleased to report that my books had
been restored to "visibility," which, of course, when I checked, they hadn't.
"Whatever," I told myself, "this is silly. It's probably just some IT thing, maybe Google
Books updating its records, or something." However, I was still perplexed by the "People Also
Search For" switcheroo, because it's kind of misleading to link my writing to that of a bunch
of serious right-wingers. Imagine, if you were a dystopian sci-fi fan, and you googled me to
check out my book and see what else I had written, and so on, and my Google "Knowledge Panel"
popped up and displayed all these far-right VDARE folks. Unless you're a far-right VDARE type
yourself, that might be a little bit of a turn-off.
At that point, I wondered if I was getting paranoid. Because Google Search runs on
algorithms, right? And my political satire and commentary is published, not only in
CounterPunch, but also in The Unz Review, where these far-right-wing types are also published.
Moreover, my pieces are often reposted by what appear to be "Russia-linked" websites, and
everyone knows that the Russians are all a bunch of white supremacists, right? On top of which,
it's not like I'm Stephen King here. I am hardly famous enough to warrant the attention of any
post-Orwellian corporate conspiracy to stigmatize anti-establishment dissent by manipulating
how authors are displayed on Google (i.e., subtly linking them to white supremacists,
anti-Semites, and others of that ilk).
So, okay, I reasoned, what probably happened was over the course of twenty-four hours, for
no logical reason whatsoever, all the folks who had been googling me (along with other leftist
and literary figures) suddenly stopped googling me, all at once, while, more or less at the
exact same time, hundreds of right-wingers started googling me (along with those white
supremacist types they had, theoretically, already been googling). That kind of makes sense
when you think about it, right? I mean, Google couldn't be doing this intentionally. It must
have been some sort of algorithm that detected this sudden, seismic shift in the demographic of
people googling me.
Or, I don't know, does that possibly sound like a desperate attempt to rationalize the
malicious behavior of an unaccountable, more or less god-like, global corporation that wields
the power of life and death over my book sales and profile on the Internet (a more or less
god-like global corporation that could do a lot of additional damage to my sales and reputation
with complete impunity once the piece you're reading is published)? Or am I simply getting
paranoid, and, in fact, I've developed a secret white supremacist fan base without my
knowledge? Only Google knows for sure.
Such are the conundrums elitist literary wankers have to face these days that is, those of
us wankers who haven't learned to keep our fucking mouths shut yet. Probably the safest course
of action, regardless of whether I'm being paranoid or Google does have me on some kind of
list, is to lay off the anti-corporatist essays, and definitely stop contributing to
CounterPunch, not to mention The Unz Review, and probably also give up the whole dystopian
satire novel thing, and ensure that my second novel conforms to the "normal" elitist wanker
rules (which every literary wanker knows, but which, technically, do not exist). Who knows, if
I play my cards right, maybe I can even sell the rights to Miramax, or okay, some other
corporation.
Once that happens, I assume that Google will want to restore me to normal personhood, and
return my books to visibility, and I will ride off into the Hollywood sunset with the Clintons,
Clooneys, and Pichais, and maybe even Barack Obama himself, if he isn't off jet skiing with
Richard Branson, or having dinner with Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos, who just happen to live right
down the street, or hawking the TPP on television. By that time, CounterPunch and all those
other "illegitimate" publications will have been forced onto the dark web anyway, so I won't be
giving up all that much. I know, that sounds pretty cold and cynical, but my liberal friends
will understand I just hope all my new white supremacist fans will find it in their hearts to
forgive me.
C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in
Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing
(USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is
published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .
anonymous , • Disclaimer November 3,
2017 at 12:15 pm GMT
Thank you for mustering the courage and then taking the time to spell out these outrages in a
straightforward, unemotional way. I've appreciated the humor that centers your other essays,
but there's not a damned thing funny about this.
But why are things as they are? With billions aplenty, our rulers must be driven by their
libido dominandi. We're left to wonder only whether they get off more on ostracizing the
Hopkinses, on buying the politicians, or on herding the sheep from bathrooms to statues to
flags.
Highly recommended!
These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much
deeper level.
Notable quotes:
"... I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise. What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism, where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible. ..."
"... Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of as "literature." ..."
"... These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much deeper level. ..."
"... Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major corporation. ..."
"... C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing (USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org . ..."
On November 30, 2016, presumably right at the stroke of midnight, Google Inc. unpersoned
CounterPunch. They didn't send out a press release or anything. They just quietly removed it
from the Google News aggregator. Not very many people noticed. This happened just as the "fake
news" hysteria was being unleashed by the corporate media, right around the time The Washington
Post ran
this neo-McCarthyite smear piece vicariously accusing CounterPunch, and a number of other
publications, of being "peddlers of Russian propaganda." As I'm sure you'll recall, that
astounding piece of "journalism" (which The Post was promptly forced to disavow with an absurd
disclaimer but has refused to retract) was based on the claims of an anonymous website
apparently staffed by a couple of teenagers and a formerly rabidly anti-Communist, now rabidly
anti-Putin think tank. Little did most people know at the time that these were just the opening
salvos in what has turned out to be an all-out crackdown on any and all forms of vocal
opposition to the global corporate ruling classes and their attempts to quash the ongoing
nationalist backlash against their neoliberal agenda.
Almost a year later, things are much clearer. If you haven't been following this story
closely, and you care at all about freedom of the press, freedom of speech, and that kind of
stuff, you may want to take an hour or two and catch up a bit on what's been happening. I
offered a few examples of some of the measures governments and corporations have been taking to
stifle expressions of dissent in my latest
piece in CounterPunch , and there are many more detailed articles online, like this one by Andre
Damon from July, and this follow-up he published last
week (which reports that Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and author Chris Hedges has also
been unpersoned). Or, if you're the type of soul who only believes what corporations tell you,
and who automatically dismisses anything published by a Trotskyist website, here's
one from last December in The Guardian , and an
op-ed in The New York Times , both of which at least report what Google, Twitter, and
Facebook are up to. Or you could read this
piece by Robert Parry , who also has "legitimate" (i.e., corporate) credentials, and who
hasn't been unpersoned just yet, although I'm sure they'll get around to him eventually.
I am using the Orwellian verb "unperson" playfully, but I'm also trying to be precise.
What's happening isn't censorship, technically, at least not in the majority of cases. While
there are examples of classic censorship (e.g., in the UK, France, and Germany), apart from
so-called "terrorist content," most governments aren't formally banning expressions of
anti-corporatist dissent. This isn't Czechoslovakia, after all. This is global capitalism,
where the repression of dissent is a little more subtle. The point of Google unpersoning
CounterPunch (and probably many other publications) and Pulitzer Prize-winning journalists like
Hedges is not to prevent them from publishing their work or otherwise render them invisible to
readers. The goal is to delegitmize them, and thus decrease traffic to their websites and
articles, and ultimately drive them out of business, if possible.
Another objective of this non-censorship censorship is discouraging writers like myself
from contributing to publications like CounterPunch, Truthdig, Alternet, Global Research, and
any other publications the corporatocracy deems "illegitimate." Google unpersoning a writer
like Hedges is a message to other non-ball-playing writers. The message is, "this could happen
to you." This message is meant for other journalists, primarily, but it's also aimed at writers
like myself who are making a living (to whatever degree) writing and selling what we think of
as "literature."
Yes, as you've probably guessed by now, in addition to writing political satire, I am, as
rogue journalist Caitlin Johnstone so aptly put it once, an "elitist wanker." I've spent the
majority of my adult life writing stage plays and working in the theater, and it doesn't get
any more elitist than that. My plays are published by "establishment" publishers, have won a
few awards, and have been produced internationally. I recently published my "debut novel"
(which is what you call it if you're an elitist wanker) and am currently trying to promote and
sell it. I mention this, not to blow my little horn, but to the set the stage to try to
illustrate how these post-Orwellian intimidation tactics (i.e., unpersoning people from the
Internet) work. These tactics do not just suppress information. They enforce conformity at much
deeper level.
The depressing fact of the matter is, in our brave new Internet-dominated world,
corporations like Google, Twitter, and Facebook (not to mention Amazon), are, for elitist
wankers like me, in the immortal words of Colonel Kurz, "either friends or they are truly
enemies to be feared." If you are in the elitist wanker business, regardless of whether you're
Jonathan Franzen, Garth Risk Hallberg, Margaret Atwood, or some "mid-list" or "emerging"
author, there is no getting around these corporations. So it's kind of foolish, professionally
speaking, to write a bunch of essays that will piss them off, and then publish these essays in
CounterPunch. Literary agents advise against this. Other elitist literary wankers, once they
discover what you've been doing, will avoid you like the bubonic plague. Although it's
perfectly fine to write books and movies about fictional evil corporations, writing about how
real corporations are using their power to mold societies into self-policing virtual prisons of
politically-correct, authoritarian consumers is well, it's something that is just not done in
professional elitist wanker circles.
Normally, all this goes without saying, as these days most elitist wankers are trained how
to write, and read, and think, in MFA conformity factories, where they screen out any unstable
weirdos with unhealthy interests in political matters. This is to avoid embarrassing episodes
like Harold
Pinter's Nobel Prize lecture (which, if you haven't read it, you probably should), and is
why so much of contemporary literature is so well-behaved and instantly forgettable. This
institutionalized screening system is also why the majority of journalists employed by
mainstream media outlets understand, without having to be told, what they are, and are not,
allowed to report. Chomsky explains how this system operates in What Makes Mainstream Media Mainstream . It isn't a
question of censorship the system operates on rewards and punishments, financial and emotional
coercion, and subtler forms of intimidation. Making examples of non-cooperators is a
particularly effective tactic. Ask any one of the countless women whose careers have been
destroyed by Harvey Weinstein, or anyone who's been to graduate school, or worked at a major
corporation.
Or let me provide you with a personal example.
A couple weeks ago, I googled myself (which we elitist wankers are wont to do), and noticed
that two of my published books had disappeared from the "Knowledge Panel" that appears in the
upper right of the search results. I also noticed that the people "People Also Search For" in
the panel had changed. For years, consistently, the people you saw there had been a variety of
other elitist literary wankers and leftist types. Suddenly, they were all rather right-wing
types, people like Ilana Mercer and John Derbyshire, and other VDARE writers. So that was a
little disconcerting.
I set out to contact the Google Search specialists to inquire about this mysterious
development, and was directed to a series of unhelpful web pages directing me to other
unhelpful pages with little boxes where you can write and submit a complaint to Google, which
they will completely ignore. Being an elitist literary wanker, I also wrote to Google Books,
and exchanged a number of cordial emails with an entity (let's call her Ms. O'Brien) who
explained that, for "a variety of reasons," the "visibility" of my books (which had been
consistently visible for many years) was subject to change from day to day, and that,
regrettably, she couldn't assist me further, and that sending her additional cordial emails was
probably a pointless waste of time. Ms. O'Brien was also pleased to report that my books had
been restored to "visibility," which, of course, when I checked, they hadn't.
"Whatever," I told myself, "this is silly. It's probably just some IT thing, maybe Google
Books updating its records, or something." However, I was still perplexed by the "People Also
Search For" switcheroo, because it's kind of misleading to link my writing to that of a bunch
of serious right-wingers. Imagine, if you were a dystopian sci-fi fan, and you googled me to
check out my book and see what else I had written, and so on, and my Google "Knowledge Panel"
popped up and displayed all these far-right VDARE folks. Unless you're a far-right VDARE type
yourself, that might be a little bit of a turn-off.
At that point, I wondered if I was getting paranoid. Because Google Search runs on
algorithms, right? And my political satire and commentary is published, not only in
CounterPunch, but also in The Unz Review, where these far-right-wing types are also published.
Moreover, my pieces are often reposted by what appear to be "Russia-linked" websites, and
everyone knows that the Russians are all a bunch of white supremacists, right? On top of which,
it's not like I'm Stephen King here. I am hardly famous enough to warrant the attention of any
post-Orwellian corporate conspiracy to stigmatize anti-establishment dissent by manipulating
how authors are displayed on Google (i.e., subtly linking them to white supremacists,
anti-Semites, and others of that ilk).
So, okay, I reasoned, what probably happened was over the course of twenty-four hours, for
no logical reason whatsoever, all the folks who had been googling me (along with other leftist
and literary figures) suddenly stopped googling me, all at once, while, more or less at the
exact same time, hundreds of right-wingers started googling me (along with those white
supremacist types they had, theoretically, already been googling). That kind of makes sense
when you think about it, right? I mean, Google couldn't be doing this intentionally. It must
have been some sort of algorithm that detected this sudden, seismic shift in the demographic of
people googling me.
Or, I don't know, does that possibly sound like a desperate attempt to rationalize the
malicious behavior of an unaccountable, more or less god-like, global corporation that wields
the power of life and death over my book sales and profile on the Internet (a more or less
god-like global corporation that could do a lot of additional damage to my sales and reputation
with complete impunity once the piece you're reading is published)? Or am I simply getting
paranoid, and, in fact, I've developed a secret white supremacist fan base without my
knowledge? Only Google knows for sure.
Such are the conundrums elitist literary wankers have to face these days that is, those of
us wankers who haven't learned to keep our fucking mouths shut yet. Probably the safest course
of action, regardless of whether I'm being paranoid or Google does have me on some kind of
list, is to lay off the anti-corporatist essays, and definitely stop contributing to
CounterPunch, not to mention The Unz Review, and probably also give up the whole dystopian
satire novel thing, and ensure that my second novel conforms to the "normal" elitist wanker
rules (which every literary wanker knows, but which, technically, do not exist). Who knows, if
I play my cards right, maybe I can even sell the rights to Miramax, or okay, some other
corporation.
Once that happens, I assume that Google will want to restore me to normal personhood, and
return my books to visibility, and I will ride off into the Hollywood sunset with the Clintons,
Clooneys, and Pichais, and maybe even Barack Obama himself, if he isn't off jet skiing with
Richard Branson, or having dinner with Jeff and MacKenzie Bezos, who just happen to live right
down the street, or hawking the TPP on television. By that time, CounterPunch and all those
other "illegitimate" publications will have been forced onto the dark web anyway, so I won't be
giving up all that much. I know, that sounds pretty cold and cynical, but my liberal friends
will understand I just hope all my new white supremacist fans will find it in their hearts to
forgive me.
C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in
Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing
(USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is
published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .
anonymous , • Disclaimer November 3,
2017 at 12:15 pm GMT
Thank you for mustering the courage and then taking the time to spell out these outrages in a
straightforward, unemotional way. I've appreciated the humor that centers your other essays,
but there's not a damned thing funny about this.
But why are things as they are? With billions aplenty, our rulers must be driven by their
libido dominandi. We're left to wonder only whether they get off more on ostracizing the
Hopkinses, on buying the politicians, or on herding the sheep from bathrooms to statues to
flags.
... having spent $100,000 on Facebook ads, and unleashed a troll army to wrote Facebook
posts - which had a 0.004% change of being read - Putin then went for the kill, and assured
himself a Trump presidency by splurging another $4,700 for Google ads and creating an
additional 43 hours of video content. The rest is history.
Hilarious and very sharp critique of the new Hillary book. What Happened ,
Throughout What Happened , Clinton gives us a taste of her literary influences,
beginning each section, and each chapter, and sometimes inserting inside of chapters,
quotations from Harriet Tubman, Friedrich Nietzsche, A League of Their Own , Rainer
Maria Rilke, Eleanor Roosevelt, TS Eliot, George Bernard Shaw, Carl Sandburg, "a sign in my
house", Nora Ephron, Muriel Rukeyser, JM Barrie, Mary Ann Shaffer, Annie Barrows, Ralph Waldo
Emerson, Laurel Thatcher Ulrich, Flannery O'Connor, WB Yeats, "a Chinese proverb", "an African
proverb", Fyodor Dostoevsky, Robert Frost, John F. Kennedy, Nelson Mandela , Henry James, and Pope
John XIII. I do not know who any of those people are. It seems I've lost them along with every
other person in this book. But from the quotations, you can tell that each of them is an
advocate for kindness, perseverance, truth, and decency. You can see how each of them helped
shape Clinton and her thoughts.
After learning so much about Clinton, it is difficult to read her account of the campaign
itself when it arrives slightly more than halfway through the book. It is terrible to witness
the tragedy unfold. Clinton ran for president, she says early on, because she "thought I would
be good at the job." Others agree, including the current president, Barack Obama , who announces at her
convention that she is the most qualified candidate to ever run despite -- Clinton notes --
their disagreement on issues including environmental regulation and an unspecified conflict in
Syria (their respective positions are not detailed; however, my research indicates that Clinton
was widely believed to be "the most progressive candidate" in history, so one imagines that she
disapproved of President Obama's bellicose stance on the issue). But despite her
qualifications, or perhaps due to them, Clinton endures a cruelty and depth of opposition
unlike anything endured by a candidate for the presidency before her.
First, she faces a primary against a disruptive charlatan. Senator Bernie Sanders is not a Democrat, she
tells us, but a socialist attempting to "disrupt" the party. Sanders is at once nearly
identical to Clinton on the issues ("because we agreed on so much, Bernie couldn't make an
argument against me in this area on policy, so he had to resort to innuendo and impugning my
character," she writes) and hopelessly reactionary -- a man willing to compromise on Clinton's
key issues of gun violence and racial justice in order to give free "ponies", "magic abs", and
taxpayer-funded college education to rich children. Sanders' supporters are vicious -- Clinton
calls them "Bernie Bros" twice in her book -- and go so far as to boo her at the Democratic
National Convention. Sanders himself, despite campaigning for Clinton (something she graciously
"appreciated"), refused to endorse her for nearly a month after the end of their contest.
Despite Clinton's record and character, Sanders attacked her integrity even after the delegate
math is done. This shameless new anti-Clinton strategy "[paves] the way for Donald Trump's
'Crooked Hillary' campaign" during the general and does "lasting damage" to the party.
None of this compares to what comes next. In a section called "Frustration," Clinton reveals
that it was not only her Republican opponent who she was up against in the general election
last year. Beyond Trump, Clinton must contend with a news media that operates under special
"Clinton rules" designed to make all of her behavior appear nefarious, most notably a server
management issue during her time at the State Department. She is attacked by Republican
congressmen and Senators, who haul her before pointless special committees in order to score
cheap political points on TV. She is "knifed" by FBI director James Comey, whose release of a
damning and unprecedented letter only days before the election costs Clinton essential margins
in several states. Beyond all of this, Clinton faces an unprecedented espionage effort by a man
named Vladimir Putin. Putin, Clinton tells us, has a personal grudge against her born of her
previous work as Secretary of State and in order to keep her from the presidency, he orders
Russian intelligence services to attack her candidacy on all fronts.
The Russians seed propaganda through American social media networks. They steal internal
emails from her campaign and release them at the most damaging possible times. They hack voting
systems and even collaborate directly with members of Trump's campaign. This was an act of war,
Clinton writes, and one cannot help but sense an unspoken anger at President Obama, who knew
what was going on, but chose not to make a public declaration.
In other reviews of What Happened, I have seen the claim that Clinton refuses to take
responsibility for her loss. Perhaps this is in reference to some other book or statement long
since lost to my memory, because in this book, it simply isn't true. In nearly every chapter,
Clinton repeats some version of the idea that the blame for losing the 2016 election rests with
her alone. It is only that given everything else we learn -- given the "tribalism" of the
electorate, the vendetta of the Russians, the opposition that she, like all subversive figures,
faced from even her own state's secret police -- given all of those things and how all of those
things are invariably mentioned either immediately before or immediately after any moment when
Clinton takes responsibility for her defeat, given all of that it is difficult to escape the
impression that while she might take the blame, no reasonable person would put the blame on
Clinton.
Indeed the strangest element of What Happened is the widespread belief, both within and
without the Clinton campaign, that she would win. I can only take her word that this was widely
believed, but it is difficult to fathom. The Clinton I discovered in these pages was a radical.
From the moment she left her position as president of Wellesley's Republican club (a detail she
mentioned, much to my shock, in the book's final pages), Clinton fought relentlessly against
the entrenched, reactionary forces of her nation. As a young woman, she demonstrated against
the imperial war in Vietnam. As an attorney, she was on the front lines against Jim Crow. In
public service, she stood up not only to despots like Vladimir Putin, but to the most powerful
corporations in the United States, proposing redistributive taxes and "truly universal" health
care, even flirting with a guaranteed basic income funded by capital derivatives from
nationalized resource services.
Writing about the decline of American labor solidarity, Clinton writes that "being part of a
union is an important part of someone's personal identity. It helps shape the way you view the
world and think about politics. When that's gone, it means a lot of people stop identifying
primarily as workers -- and voting accordingly -- and start identifying and voting as white,
male, rural, or all of the above." This account of class-consciousness puts Clinton to the left
of even celebrated American essayist Ta-Nehisi Coates. How could anyone be naïve enough to
believe that her victory was guaranteed? She was a radical taking on the establishment and the
establishment is never more vicious than when it is protecting itself from a figure who has
proven herself willing and able to defeat them. For the Clinton of What Happened to win the
Presidency in a country like the United States would have been miraculous. Nothing in the
history I can remember suggests that this was ever likely.
AlaricBalth ->
Creepy_Azz_Crackaah ,
Oct 24, 2017 1:03 PM
"Our justice system is represented by a blind-folded woman holding a set of scales. Those
scales do not tip to the right or the left; they do not recognize wealth, power, or social
status. The impartiality of our justice system is the bedrock of our republic..."
Spewed coffee after reading this quote.
E.F. Mutton ->
Gerry Fletcher ,
Oct 24, 2017 12:57 PM
The Blind Justice Lady is real, she just has a .45 at the back of her head held by
Hillary
And don't even ask where Bill's finger is
Moscow
Exile ,
October 21, 2017 at 4:19 am
The re-modelling of Killary?
Why does nobody mention that Hillary Clinton is perfectly nice?
Hillary Clinton on The Graham Norton Show: no Paxman-style grilling, but the Democrat
radiated grandmotherly charm
Who the fuck is this Norton bloke, anyway?
Moscow
Exile ,
October 21, 2017 at 4:21 am
If granny had become POTUS there might have been a lot more radiation around the world
because of her "charm".
Notable quotes:
"... If the Senate can 'assess,' so can I! I assess that Hollywood hottie Jenifer Lawrence is secretly in love with me! Although I can't prove this, all of my assessments point to this as being fact. ..."
Greg Bacon, Website
October 14, 2017 at 9:59 am GMT
If the Senate can 'assess,' so can I! I assess that Hollywood hottie Jenifer Lawrence is
secretly in love with me! Although I can't prove this, all of my assessments point to this as
being fact.
liveload ,
October 13, 2017 7:07 PM
It just occurred to me that the perfect Halloween decoration this year would be a Russian flag.
That is, unless someone comes out with a Zombie Putin, or Dracula Putin...
Highly recommended!
Biting satire...
Notable quotes:
"... The Tonight Show ..."
"... Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook. ..."
"... No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that. ..."
"... a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without ..."
"... Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'. ..."
"... A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and independence movements. ..."
"... "Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s), that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run brainwashing factories. ..."
Well all right, let's review what happened, or at least the official version of what
happened. Not Hillary Clinton's version of what happened, which Jeffrey St. Clair so
incisively skewered , but the Corporatocracy's version of what happened, which overlaps
with but is even more ridiculous than Clinton's ridiculous version. To do that, we need to
harken back to the peaceful Summer of 2016, (a/k/a the
"Summer of Fear" ), when the United States of America was still a shiny city upon a hill
whose beacon light guided freedom-loving people, the Nazis were still just a bunch of ass
clowns meeting in each other's mother's garages, and Russia was, well Russia was Russia.
Back then, as I'm sure you'll recall, Western democracy, was still primarily being menaced
by the lone
wolf terrorists, for absolutely no conceivable reason, apart from the terrorists' fanatical
desire to brutally murder all non-believers. The global Russo-Nazi Axis had not yet reared its
ugly head. President Obama, who, during his tenure, had single-handedly restored America to the
peaceful, prosperous, progressive paradise it had been before George W. Bush screwed it up, was
on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon slow
jamming home the TPP . The Wall Street banks had risen from the ashes of the 2008 financial
crisis, and were buying back all the foreclosed homes of the people they had fleeced with
subprime mortgages. American workers were enjoying the freedom and flexibility of the new gig
economy. Electioneering in the United States was underway, but it was early days. It was
already clear that Donald Trump was literally
the Second Coming of Hitler , but no one was terribly worried about him yet. The Republican
Party was in a shambles. Neither Trump nor any of the other contenders had any chance of
winning in November. Nor did Sanders, who had been defeated, fair and square, in the Democratic
primaries, mostly because of
his racist statements and crazy, quasi-Communist ideas. Basically, everything was hunky
dory. Yes, it was going to be terribly sad to have to bid farewell to Obama, who had bailed out
all those bankrupt Americans the Wall Street banks had taken to the cleaners, ended all of Bush
and Cheney's wars, closed down Guantanamo, and just generally served as a multicultural messiah
figure to affluent consumers throughout the free world, but Hope-and-Change was going to
continue. The talking heads were all in agreement Hillary Clinton was going to be President,
and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Little did we know at the time that an epidemic of Russo-Nazism had been festering just
beneath the surface of freedom-loving Western societies like some neo-fascist sebaceous cyst.
Apparently, millions of theretofore more or less normal citizens throughout the West had been
infected with a virulent strain of Russo-Nazi-engineered virus, because they simultaneously
began exhibiting the hallmark symptoms of what we now know as White Supremacist Behavioral
Disorder, or Fascist Oppositional Disorder (the folks who update the DSM are still arguing over
the official name). It started with the Brexit referendum, spread to America with the election
of Trump, and there have been a rash of outbreaks in Europe, like
the one we're currently experiencing in Germany . These fascistic symptoms have mostly
manifest as people refusing to vote as instructed, and expressing oppressive views on the
Internet, but there have also been more serious crimes, including several assaults and murders
perpetrated by white supremacists (which, of course, never happened when Obama was President,
because the Nazis hadn't been "emboldened" yet).
Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of
fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with
neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire
with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with
supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by
corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or
the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced
with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a
simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is
its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural
values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch
together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook.
No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the
mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following
the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring
the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national
sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world
where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns
completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this
outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical
development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that.
This hypothetical leftist analysis might want to focus on how Capitalism is fundamentally
opposed to Despotism, and is essentially a value-decoding machine which renders everything and
everyone it touches essentially valueless interchangeable commodities whose worth is determined
by market forces, rather than by societies and cultures, or religions, or other despotic
systems (wherein values are established and enforced arbitrarily, by the despot, the church, or
the ruling party, or by a group of people who share an affinity and decide they want to live a
certain way). This is where it would get sort of tricky, because it (i.e., this hypothetical
analysis) would have to delve into the history of Capitalism, and how it evolved out of
medieval Despotism, and how it has been decoding despotic values for something like five
hundred years. This historical delving (which would probably be too long for people to read on
their phones) would demonstrate how Capitalism has been an essentially progressive force in
terms of getting us out of Despotism (which, for most folks, wasn't very much fun) by fomenting
bourgeois revolutions and imposing some semblance of democracy on societies. It would follow
Capitalism's inexorable advance all the way up to the Twentieth Century, in which its final
external ideological adversary, fake Communism, suddenly imploded, delivering us to the world
we now live in a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without
, and where any opposition to that global ideology can only be internal, or insurgent, in
nature (e.g, terrorism, extremism, and so on). Being a hypothetical leftist analysis,
it would, at this point, need to stress that, despite the fact that Capitalism helped deliver
us from Despotism, and improved the state of society generally (compared to most societies that
preceded it), we nonetheless would like to transcend it, or evolve out of it toward some type
of society where people, and everything else, including the biosphere we live in, are not
interchangeable, valueless commodities exchanged by members of a global corporatocracy who have
no essential values, or beliefs, or principles, other than the worship of money. After having
covered all that, we might want to offer more a nuanced view of the current neo-nationalist
reaction to the Corporatocracy's ongoing efforts to restructure and privatize the rest of the
planet. Not that we would support this reaction, or in any way refrain from calling
neo-nationalism what it is (i.e., reactionary, despotic, and doomed), but this nuanced view
we'd hypothetically offer, by analyzing the larger sociopolitical and historical forces at
play, might help us to see the way forward more clearly, and who knows, maybe eventually
propose some kind of credible leftist alternative to the "global neoliberalism vs.
neo-nationalism" double bind we appear to be hopelessly stuck in at the moment.
Luckily, we don't have to do that (i.e., articulate such a leftist analysis of any such
larger historical forces). Because there is no corporatocracy not really. That's just a fake
word the Russians made up and are spreading around on the Internet to distract us while the
Nazis take over. No, the logical explanation for Trump, Brexit, and anything else that
threatens the expansion of global Capitalism, and the freedom, democracy, and prosperity it
offers, is that millions of people across the world, all at once, for no apparent reason, woke
up one day full-blown fascists and started looking around for repulsive demagogues to swear
fanatical allegiance to. Yes, that makes a lot more sense than all that complicated stuff about
history and hegemonic ideological systems, which is probably just Russian propaganda anyway, in
which case there is absolutely no reason to read any boring year-old pieces, like this one in The
European
Financial
Review , or this report by
Corporate Watch , from way back in the year 2000, about the rise of global corporate
power.
So, apologies for wasting your time with all that pseudo-Marxian gobbledygook. Let's just
pretend this never happened, and get back to more important matters, like statistically proving
that Donald Trump got elected President because of racism, misogyny, transphobia, xenophobia,
or some other type of behavioral disorder, and pulling down Confederate statues, or kneeling
during the National Anthem, or whatever happens to be trending this week. Oh, yeah, and
debating punching Nazis, or people wearing MAGA hats. We definitely need to sort all that out
before we can move ahead with helping the Corporatocracy remove Trump from office, or at least
ensure he remains surrounded by their loyal generals, CEOs, and Goldman Sachs guys until the
next election. Whatever we do, let's not get distracted by that stuff I just distracted you
with. I know, it's tempting, but, given what's at stake, we need to maintain our laser focus on
issues related to identity politics, or else well, you know, the Nazis win.
C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in
Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing
(USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is
published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .
jilles dykstra, October 13, 2017
at 3:15 pm GMT
Yesterday evening on RT a USA lady, as usual forgot the name, spoke about the USA. In a
matter of fact tone she said things like 'they (Deep State) have got him (Trump) in the
box'.
They, Deep State again, are now wondering if they will continue to try to control the
world, or if they should stop the attempt, and retreat into the USA.
Also as matter of fact she said 'the CIA has always been the instrument of Deep State, from
Kenndy to Nine Eleven'.
Another statement was 'no president ever was in control'.
How USA citizens continue to believe they live in a democracy, I cannot understand.
Yesterday the intentions of the new Dutch government were made public, alas most Dutch
also dot not see that the Netherlands since 2005 no longer is a democracy, just a province of
Brussels.
You can fool all people .
Che Guava, October 13, 2017
at 4:22 pm GMT
@jilles
dykstra
Jilles,
I am thinking you take the article too literally.
jacques sheete, October 13, 2017
at 4:30 pm GMT
Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting
stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'.
No doubt many do want their country back, but what concerns me is that all of a sudden we
have the concept of "independence" plastered all over the place. Such concepts don't get
promoted unless the ruling elites see ways to turn those sentiments to their favor.
A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted
and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and
independence movements. (And everything else.)
"Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s),
that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the
US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run
brainwashing factories.
Does anyone else smell a rat or two?
Anon-og ,
October 13, 2017
at 5:16 pm GMT
"Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of
fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with
neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire
with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with
supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by
corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything,
or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and
replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which
is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because
exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their
eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer
brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on
Facebook."
Very impressed with this article, never really paid attention to CJ's articles but that is
now changing!
Highly recommended!
Biting satire...
Notable quotes:
"... The Tonight Show ..."
"... Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook. ..."
"... No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that. ..."
"... a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without ..."
"... Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'. ..."
"... A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and independence movements. ..."
"... "Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s), that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run brainwashing factories. ..."
Well all right, let's review what happened, or at least the official version of what
happened. Not Hillary Clinton's version of what happened, which Jeffrey St. Clair so
incisively skewered , but the Corporatocracy's version of what happened, which overlaps
with but is even more ridiculous than Clinton's ridiculous version. To do that, we need to
harken back to the peaceful Summer of 2016, (a/k/a the
"Summer of Fear" ), when the United States of America was still a shiny city upon a hill
whose beacon light guided freedom-loving people, the Nazis were still just a bunch of ass
clowns meeting in each other's mother's garages, and Russia was, well Russia was Russia.
Back then, as I'm sure you'll recall, Western democracy, was still primarily being menaced
by the lone
wolf terrorists, for absolutely no conceivable reason, apart from the terrorists' fanatical
desire to brutally murder all non-believers. The global Russo-Nazi Axis had not yet reared its
ugly head. President Obama, who, during his tenure, had single-handedly restored America to the
peaceful, prosperous, progressive paradise it had been before George W. Bush screwed it up, was
on The Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon slow
jamming home the TPP . The Wall Street banks had risen from the ashes of the 2008 financial
crisis, and were buying back all the foreclosed homes of the people they had fleeced with
subprime mortgages. American workers were enjoying the freedom and flexibility of the new gig
economy. Electioneering in the United States was underway, but it was early days. It was
already clear that Donald Trump was literally
the Second Coming of Hitler , but no one was terribly worried about him yet. The Republican
Party was in a shambles. Neither Trump nor any of the other contenders had any chance of
winning in November. Nor did Sanders, who had been defeated, fair and square, in the Democratic
primaries, mostly because of
his racist statements and crazy, quasi-Communist ideas. Basically, everything was hunky
dory. Yes, it was going to be terribly sad to have to bid farewell to Obama, who had bailed out
all those bankrupt Americans the Wall Street banks had taken to the cleaners, ended all of Bush
and Cheney's wars, closed down Guantanamo, and just generally served as a multicultural messiah
figure to affluent consumers throughout the free world, but Hope-and-Change was going to
continue. The talking heads were all in agreement Hillary Clinton was going to be President,
and there was nothing anyone could do about it.
Little did we know at the time that an epidemic of Russo-Nazism had been festering just
beneath the surface of freedom-loving Western societies like some neo-fascist sebaceous cyst.
Apparently, millions of theretofore more or less normal citizens throughout the West had been
infected with a virulent strain of Russo-Nazi-engineered virus, because they simultaneously
began exhibiting the hallmark symptoms of what we now know as White Supremacist Behavioral
Disorder, or Fascist Oppositional Disorder (the folks who update the DSM are still arguing over
the official name). It started with the Brexit referendum, spread to America with the election
of Trump, and there have been a rash of outbreaks in Europe, like
the one we're currently experiencing in Germany . These fascistic symptoms have mostly
manifest as people refusing to vote as instructed, and expressing oppressive views on the
Internet, but there have also been more serious crimes, including several assaults and murders
perpetrated by white supremacists (which, of course, never happened when Obama was President,
because the Nazis hadn't been "emboldened" yet).
Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of
fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with
neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire
with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with
supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by
corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything, or
the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and replaced
with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which is merely a
simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because exchange value is
its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their eviscerated cultural
values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer brands as they hunch
together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on Facebook.
No, this discontent with the political establishment, corporate elites, and the
mainstream media has nothing to do with any of that. It's not like global Capitalism, following
the collapse of the U.S.S.R. (its last external ideological adversary), has been restructuring
the entire planet in accordance with its geopolitical interests, or doing away with national
sovereignty, and other nationalistic concepts that no longer serve a useful purpose in a world
where a single ideological system (one backed by the most fearsome military in history) reigns
completely unopposed. If that were the case, well, it might behoove us to question whether this
outbreak of Nazism, racism, and other forms of "hate," was somehow connected to that historical
development and maybe even try to articulate some sort of leftist analysis of that.
This hypothetical leftist analysis might want to focus on how Capitalism is fundamentally
opposed to Despotism, and is essentially a value-decoding machine which renders everything and
everyone it touches essentially valueless interchangeable commodities whose worth is determined
by market forces, rather than by societies and cultures, or religions, or other despotic
systems (wherein values are established and enforced arbitrarily, by the despot, the church, or
the ruling party, or by a group of people who share an affinity and decide they want to live a
certain way). This is where it would get sort of tricky, because it (i.e., this hypothetical
analysis) would have to delve into the history of Capitalism, and how it evolved out of
medieval Despotism, and how it has been decoding despotic values for something like five
hundred years. This historical delving (which would probably be too long for people to read on
their phones) would demonstrate how Capitalism has been an essentially progressive force in
terms of getting us out of Despotism (which, for most folks, wasn't very much fun) by fomenting
bourgeois revolutions and imposing some semblance of democracy on societies. It would follow
Capitalism's inexorable advance all the way up to the Twentieth Century, in which its final
external ideological adversary, fake Communism, suddenly imploded, delivering us to the world
we now live in a world where a single ideology rules the planet unopposed from without
, and where any opposition to that global ideology can only be internal, or insurgent, in
nature (e.g, terrorism, extremism, and so on). Being a hypothetical leftist analysis,
it would, at this point, need to stress that, despite the fact that Capitalism helped deliver
us from Despotism, and improved the state of society generally (compared to most societies that
preceded it), we nonetheless would like to transcend it, or evolve out of it toward some type
of society where people, and everything else, including the biosphere we live in, are not
interchangeable, valueless commodities exchanged by members of a global corporatocracy who have
no essential values, or beliefs, or principles, other than the worship of money. After having
covered all that, we might want to offer more a nuanced view of the current neo-nationalist
reaction to the Corporatocracy's ongoing efforts to restructure and privatize the rest of the
planet. Not that we would support this reaction, or in any way refrain from calling
neo-nationalism what it is (i.e., reactionary, despotic, and doomed), but this nuanced view
we'd hypothetically offer, by analyzing the larger sociopolitical and historical forces at
play, might help us to see the way forward more clearly, and who knows, maybe eventually
propose some kind of credible leftist alternative to the "global neoliberalism vs.
neo-nationalism" double bind we appear to be hopelessly stuck in at the moment.
Luckily, we don't have to do that (i.e., articulate such a leftist analysis of any such
larger historical forces). Because there is no corporatocracy not really. That's just a fake
word the Russians made up and are spreading around on the Internet to distract us while the
Nazis take over. No, the logical explanation for Trump, Brexit, and anything else that
threatens the expansion of global Capitalism, and the freedom, democracy, and prosperity it
offers, is that millions of people across the world, all at once, for no apparent reason, woke
up one day full-blown fascists and started looking around for repulsive demagogues to swear
fanatical allegiance to. Yes, that makes a lot more sense than all that complicated stuff about
history and hegemonic ideological systems, which is probably just Russian propaganda anyway, in
which case there is absolutely no reason to read any boring year-old pieces, like this one in The
European
Financial
Review , or this report by
Corporate Watch , from way back in the year 2000, about the rise of global corporate
power.
So, apologies for wasting your time with all that pseudo-Marxian gobbledygook. Let's just
pretend this never happened, and get back to more important matters, like statistically proving
that Donald Trump got elected President because of racism, misogyny, transphobia, xenophobia,
or some other type of behavioral disorder, and pulling down Confederate statues, or kneeling
during the National Anthem, or whatever happens to be trending this week. Oh, yeah, and
debating punching Nazis, or people wearing MAGA hats. We definitely need to sort all that out
before we can move ahead with helping the Corporatocracy remove Trump from office, or at least
ensure he remains surrounded by their loyal generals, CEOs, and Goldman Sachs guys until the
next election. Whatever we do, let's not get distracted by that stuff I just distracted you
with. I know, it's tempting, but, given what's at stake, we need to maintain our laser focus on
issues related to identity politics, or else well, you know, the Nazis win.
C. J. Hopkins is an award-winning American playwright, novelist and satirist based in
Berlin. His plays are published by Bloomsbury Publishing (UK) and Broadway Play Publishing
(USA). His debut novel, ZONE 23 , is
published by Snoggsworthy, Swaine & Cormorant. He can reached at cjhopkins.com or consentfactory.org .
jilles dykstra, October 13, 2017
at 3:15 pm GMT
Yesterday evening on RT a USA lady, as usual forgot the name, spoke about the USA. In a
matter of fact tone she said things like 'they (Deep State) have got him (Trump) in the
box'.
They, Deep State again, are now wondering if they will continue to try to control the
world, or if they should stop the attempt, and retreat into the USA.
Also as matter of fact she said 'the CIA has always been the instrument of Deep State, from
Kenndy to Nine Eleven'.
Another statement was 'no president ever was in control'.
How USA citizens continue to believe they live in a democracy, I cannot understand.
Yesterday the intentions of the new Dutch government were made public, alas most Dutch
also dot not see that the Netherlands since 2005 no longer is a democracy, just a province of
Brussels.
You can fool all people .
Che Guava, October 13, 2017
at 4:22 pm GMT
@jilles
dykstra
Jilles,
I am thinking you take the article too literally.
jacques sheete, October 13, 2017
at 4:30 pm GMT
Brexit is about Britons who want their country back, a movement indeed getting
stronger and stronger in EU member states, but ignored by the ruling 'elites'.
No doubt many do want their country back, but what concerns me is that all of a sudden we
have the concept of "independence" plastered all over the place. Such concepts don't get
promoted unless the ruling elites see ways to turn those sentiments to their favor.
A lot of these so called "revolutions" are fomented by the elite only to be subverted
and perverted by them in the end. They've had a lot of practice co-opting revolutions and
independence movements. (And everything else.)
"Independence" is now so fashionable (as was Communism among the "elite" back in the '30s),
that they are even teaching and fostering independence to kids in kindergarten here in the
US. That strikes me as most amusing. Imagine "learning" independence in state run
brainwashing factories.
Does anyone else smell a rat or two?
Anon-og ,
October 13, 2017
at 5:16 pm GMT
"Now, despite what the Russian propagandists will tell you, this recent outbreak of
fascistic behavior has nothing whatsoever to do with these people's frustration with
neoliberalism or the supranational Corporatocracy that has been expanding its global empire
with total impunity for twenty-five years. And it definitely has nothing at all to do with
supranational political unions, or the supersession of national sovereignty by
corporate-concocted "free trade" agreements, or the relentless privatization of everything,
or the fear that a lot of people have that their cultures are being gradually erased and
replaced with a globalized, corporate-friendly, multicultural, market-based culture, which
is merely a simulation of culture, and which contains no actual cultural values (because
exchange value is its only operative value), but which sells the empty signifiers of their
eviscerated cultural values back to them so they can wear their "identities" like designer
brands as they hunch together in silence at Starbucks posting pictures of themselves on
Facebook."
Very impressed with this article, never really paid attention to CJ's articles but that is
now changing!
Seamus Padraig
> , October 10,
2017 at 11:55 pm GMT
At least the Russians have a sense of humor about the whole thing. Here's their new ad
campaign for RT UK:
https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1438856412889207&set=a.117074591734069.21731.100002945854869&type=3&theater
Lanka -> LindseyNarratesWordress •Sep 26, 2017 11:07 PM
McMaster and Kelly have Trump under [White] house arrest.
Notable quotes:
"... One possible explanation would simply be that they have all gone nuts. But since this cannot possibly be the case, this leaves just one other explanation: Russiagate itself is a clever but sinister hoax intended to make it look like our political and media class have lost their marbles, therefore undermining our democracy, our values and our way of life ..."
The Russians may have developed the capability to create elaborate hoaxes that turn the US
into a laughing stock in the eyes of outsiders Russell O'Phobe
90
For almost a year, Russia's meddling in last year's election, along with collusion with the
Trump campaign, have dominated the political and media landscape. But an explosive new
classified report produced by US intelligence may be about to blow apart the narrative, and
reveal an even bigger story that has been missed in all the commentary so far.
The report was set up to try to answer two questions: firstly, why is it that after nearly a
year, there still hasn't been a single piece of hard evidence to prove either the hacking or
the collusion? And secondly, given this lack of credible evidence, how is it that the US media
and political classes have been talking about nothing else for months and months without any
sign of letting it go, to the point of giving the impression of being obsessed with the
issue?
The report, which was signed off by all 17 agencies ! that's the DIA, CIA, FBI and NSA !
reaches a conclusion which is nothing short of sensational:
"If there hasn't actually been any hard evidence presented of meddling or collusion, we
must ask the question of how and why the entire political and media class have been talking
about nothing else for months.
One possible explanation would simply be that they have all gone nuts. But since this
cannot possibly be the case, this leaves just one other explanation: Russiagate itself is a
clever but sinister hoax intended to make it look like our political and media class have
lost their marbles, therefore undermining our democracy, our values and our way of life."
... ... ...
Notable quotes:
"... So Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow. That is the bright side I believe. ..."
PekkaRoivanen
, ,
31 Jul 2017 12:20
So Putin helps reduce Russian collusion in US Embassy in Moscow. That is the bright side
I believe.
What I am curious about is what will be the response form Brussels once the American
sanctions hit European businesses.
Lyttenburgh ,
June 26,
2017 at 1:49 am
Level of sophistication – rock bottom Ukraine.
I'm so fucking tired of this bullshit by now, so – here you go:
jo6pac
,
June 5, 2017 at 3:29 pm
https://www.reuters.com/article/us-usa-trump-infrastructure-idUSKBN18W215
Pilot– Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.
Tower– Please listen closely because do upgrades our message has changed.
Chicago O'Hare I'm asking for permission to land.
Tower– Please all pilots in O'Hare landing pattern talk among yourselves to
work out who is first.
Pilot– WTF
Tower– This being the first Monday of Month there are no ground crews so
just drive around until you find a location to unload the sheeple. That is all
and Good F$$$$$$ Luck!
Still dead Ronnie-ray-gunn would be so proud.
Synoia
,
June 5, 2017 at 4:39 pm
British Airways version:
Tower: BA 200, permission for takeoff..
.
Tower: BA 200, come in please..
Notable quotes:
"... Deplorable You. ..."
"... Me, Myself and I. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died. ..."
"... I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied. ..."
Jen , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:16 pm
Title for Hillary's new book:
The Terrible, Awful, Very Bad, No Good Campaign
Tenantlaw , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:18 pm
Hillary's memoir should be called: "Stop Me Before I Kill Again"
allan , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:20 pm
"Readers, can you help her out?"
Deplorable You.
Me, Myself and I.
I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.
Massinissa , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm
"I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died"
Roger Smith , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:53 pm
If I Did It: Alternative Tales of Absolution
"The Ceiling's Concrete!": Hillary's Guide to Hardware (complete with a bad photoshop of her
in a yellow hard hat, blue button up holding a hammer)
The Electorate Shrugged
John k , ,
June 5, 2017 at 4:00 pm
Losing together.
Jane , ,
June 5, 2017 at 4:28 pm
"I Leaned In and Fell Over"
olga , ,
June 5, 2017 at 5:34 pm
That's a good one!
Eudora Weldy , ,
June 5, 2017 at 8:04 pm
What Difference Does It Make?
integer , ,
June 5, 2017 at 11:25 pm
I Came, I Saw, My Campaign Died.
Alternatively:
I Maimed, I Whored, I Lied.
Clive , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:46 pm
Hillary's book:
"She Stoops to Conquer"
"I Flirted With Victory But He Gave Me the Cold Shoulder"
"That Craazyman Promised Me a Ten Bagger and I Like a Fool Believed Him"
"Pantsuits for Beginners"
"Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"
Lambert
Strether Post author , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:56 pm
> "Microsoft Windows Server 2012 for Dummies"
+1000!
ex-PFC Chuck , ,
June 5, 2017 at 3:08 pm
"It Takes A Pillage"
jsn , ,
June 5, 2017 at 7:00 pm
"The Russians are Comey"
Knifecatcher , ,
June 5, 2017 at 2:58 pm
With apologies to Barry O:
"The Audacity of Nope"
Anon ,
June 5, 2017 at 4:01 pm
Hillary's Book Titles:
"1.2 Billion Ways to Lose"
"Like, With a Cloth or Something?: Story of My Campaign"
"It's My Turn to Squander"
"Onward Together into the Woods"
"How to Have Massive Media Backing and Still Lose – Kinda the Story of My Campaign"
John k ,
June 5, 2017 at 5:36 pm
Angry Bird
Eureka Springs ,
June 5, 2017 at 7:10 pm
Hair On Fire
Sore Loser
With a – re re re re re re re re introduction of Myself
It's My Pity Party (And I'll *itch Slap Everyone I Want Too)
Putin On A Fit
Red Mist In My Eye
Hypocrisy Now!
Neo Karma
Me Me Meeeeee
Uranium Homesick Blues
sd ,
June 6, 2017 at 1:23 am
It's Still My Turn
funemployed ,
June 5, 2017 at 4:26 pm
"I'm with Me"
"Wronger Together"
"The Unbearable Lightness of Being the Most Qualified Person Evah"
"Do I Dream of Electric Deplorables? (I do, of killing them with drones)"
"Ozywomandias"
"Something Deplorable this way Comes"
"The Fountain@$$"
"The Great Patsy"
"The Third Coming"
JerseyJeffersonian ,
June 5, 2017 at 7:31 pm
"Ozywomandias"
I met a traveller from an antique land
Who said: `Two vast and trunkless cankles of stone
Stand in the desert. Near them, on the sand,
Half sunk, a shattered visage lies, whose frown,
And wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command,
Tell that its sculptor well those passions read
Which yet survive, stamped on these lifeless things,
The hand that mocked them and the heart that fed.
And on the pedestal these words appear -
"My name is Ozywomandias, queen of queens:
Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
Nothing beside remains. Round the decay
Of that colossal wreck, boundless and bare
The lone and level sands stretch far away.
Notable quotes:
"... Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb ..."
"... I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great. ..."
The Twitter went wild on the orb. I liked this one:
Donald J. Trump
@realDonaldTrump
Cyrus the Great was buried with a
sceptre of tremendous power. I, king of
the New World, command my people to
find his tomb & recover his sceptre. None
shall sleep until the sceptre is found!
■ Pixelated Boat
@pixelatedboat
Wow, Trump just hasn't been the same since he touched that orb
5:43 PM-21 May 2017
3,365 V 8,882
And this one:
Nick Greene @NickGreene 21 May
Trump During the Campaign: "I will NEVER touch The Orb, even
though its mysterious glow seduces and beguiles."
Trump Today: pic.twitter.com/eWoaDeXj8n
Boo
@TheSpaceHamster
@NickGreene
Spicer:the president has not and will never use
the orb to talk to sauron
45: I talked to Sauron, tremendous guy, very bright, he's great.
3:30 PM-21 May 2017
There was also a very good one for Sanders which now I can't find, but Twitter's search function
is what it is, and Google thinks I want to search on "orbital sanders." So it goes.
Willem
Hendrik,
May 21, 2017 at 9:50 pm GMT
Look at the bright side; If you lost the grocery list your wife gave you, call the NSA and
ask them to send you a copy.
If your boss denies promising you a raise call NSA for supporting materials.
SAAS ( Spying as a service)
I suggested
back in March that the President throw this Russia stuff right back in the elites' smug weasel
faces by making the Russian ambassador an honored guest at all cabinet meetings. In the same spirit
of defiance, I now tender a further suggestion.
Mr. President, you are in need of a new FBI Director. Please consider appointing Russian ambassador
Sergey Ivanovich Kislyak
to this position.
Ambassador Kislyak is a genial and worldly fellow you should have no trouble getting along with.
As a former diplomatic functionary of the U.S.S.R., I'm sure he is well acquainted with intelligence
procedures and protocols. An ideal candidate!
You'd probably have to grant him U.S. citizenship; but I believe that can be done on an expedited
basis by a simple Act of Congress.
The upside for you would be that it would drive the opposition into shrieking, moon-howling madness.
The downside for our country would be nothing at all.
Notable quotes:
"... Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name. ..."
WheresOurTeddy , ,
April 26, 2017 at 3:18 pm
In defense of Obama making $400K while Clinton only made $225K
he was actually able to *GET ELECTED*.. She took all her bribes up front then lost to Trump
with a 2-1 money advantage and the press completely in her pocket. Truly pathetic. He should get
WAY more than 2x what she does. HE ACTUALLY DELIVERED SOMETHING TO HIS BENEFACTORS. If she had
any shame - which she obviously doesn't - she'd disappear forever. And we'd all be the better
for it.
Hillary, Bill, and Chelsea are three of the most embarrassing Americans to have ever lived.
If you think I'm being too harsh, ask yourself why the (D) party they built for 30 years prefers
fascism to democratic socialism.
Jeff W ,
April 26, 2017 at 4:48 pm
WaPo:
Whether fair or not, it's not difficult to look at Wall Street paying $400,000 to Obama
as a reward for [not prosecuting anyone on Wall Street for the crash].
Well, something that seems fairer , if not inarguable, is that if President Obama
had prosecuted people on Wall Street, demanded Pecora investigation-style hearings, or,
y'know, acted generally in the public interest, Wall Street would not be shelling out
$400,000 to hear his views on anything.
To view Obama during his presidency as not being constrained under those circumstances
seems, to me, to be a kind of willful obliviousness.
Marina Bart ,
April 26, 2017 at 8:19 pm
Great framing.
Apparently, corruption is now the love that dare not speak its name.
He probably said to himself, "What
did I make in a year as president? Oh yeah,
$400,000. Now that's what I want to make in an hour"
Reply
↓
Big River Bandido
,
April 27, 2017 at 7:03 pm
Sticker seen on a Bedford Ave.
lamppost in Williamsburg, 2002:
God Bless Our Brave Stockbrokers
Huey Long
,
April 27, 2017 at 7:49 pm
Yikes!
I wonder, was that in the:
A) Hasidic Jewish
B) Puerto Rican
C) Hipster
portion of Williamsburg?
Apr 20, 2017 | unz.com
Oh Lord, it's happening–the remanufacture of Trump by the Establishment. During the campaign,
Trump and the Basilisk had nothing in common but their hair dye. Now, almost daily, he looks more
like her.
He gets embarrassing. Regarding the alleged gassing in Syria, quoth Donald:
"When you kill innocent children, innocent babies - babies, little babies - with a chemical gas
that crosses many, many lines, beyond a red line. And I will tell you, that attack on children
yesterday had a big impact on me my attitude toward Syria and Assad has changed very much."
God almighty. Who wrote this–a middle school girl with C's in English, or the President of the
United States? Did he retire to his bedroom for a good cry?
Apparently he ordered his missile strike without bothering to find out what happened. The usual
suspects are driving him like a sports car.
The election was a choice between fetor and a lunatic. We chose the lunatic. Whether this was
better than the alternative, we will never know, but Trump is going from bad to worse, or as the
Mexicans say, de Guatemala a Guatepeor.
Does he believe this stuff? Is he naive enough to think that there was something unusually
horrible about the attack? Horrible, yes, but not in the least unusual. Do you know what everyday,
boring artillery does to children? Five-hundred-pound bombs? Hellfire rockets? Daily Mr. Trump's
military and his allies daily drop shrapnel-producing explosives on people, cities, towns, adults,
children, weddings and goatherds in Afghanistan, Iraq, Syria, and Yemen. Good draft-dodger that he
was, he probably has never seen any of this. Good psychopath that he may be, he may not care.
This whole gas-attack business smells to high heaven. It looks nicely calculated to force him
to attack Assad. Gas was important: Killing babies, little babies with explosives is so routine that
no one cares, but we have been programmed to shudder at the thought of Gas!
Actually artillery has killed several orders of magnitude more people, but never mind.
Targeting children was a nice touch. Definitely a PR bonus. So Donald goes into his Poor-widdle-fings
weep, while Americans weekly kill more children in three to seven countries, depending on the date.
Is the man consciously a liar? Hasn't got sense enough to think before operating his mouth? Actually
believes what he says when he says it?
Glance at a small part of the record and focus on his changing his tune, not on whether you agree
with a particular policy. Erratic, erratic, erratic. He was going to run out the illegals within
two years, absurd but he said it. Going to put high tariffs on Mexican goods. Didn't. On Chinese
goods. Isn't. Tear up the Iran treaty. Didn't. Declare China a currency-manipulator. Isn't. Ban Muslims.
Hasn't. Promote good relations with Russia. Isn't. Get the US out of Syria. Ha. Make NATO pay for
itself. Isn't. The man has the steely determination one associates with bean curd. You cannot trust
anything the man says.
Having been reprogrammed as a good neocon, bombing places he promised to get out of, looking for
a fight with Russia, he is now butting heads with Fat Thing in North Korea. He his said things closely
resembling, "We have run out of strategic patience with the North. If nobody else will take care
of it, we will." Grrrr. Bowwow. Woof.
The problem with growly ultimata made for television is that somebody has to back down–that is,
lose face and credibility. If Trump had quietly told Fat Thing, "If you crazy bastards scrap your
nuke program, we will drop the sanctions," it might have worked. But no. Negotiations would imply
weakness. Thus an ultimatum.
So now either (a) Fat Thing knuckles under, humiliating himself and possibly endangering his grasp
on power or (b) Trump blinks in a humiliating display of the Empire's impotence, possibly endangering
his grasp on power.
Kim Jong Il, or Il Sung Jong, or whatever the the hell the latest one of them is called, shows
not the slightest sign of backing down. So does the Donald start an utterly unpredictable war, as
usual in somebody else's country, or does he weasel off, muttering, and hope nobody notices?
Fred's Third Law of International Relations: Never butt heads with a country that has a missile
named the No Dong.
Many of us favored Trump, slightly daft though he was, because he wasn't yet Hillary, wasn't yet
a neocon robot, and didn't want war with every country he had heard of, apparently meaning a good
half dozen. At least he said he didn't, not yet having been told that he did. In particular, he didn't
want war with Russia. But when the neocons control the media and Congress, they can convince a naive
public of anything and, apparently, the President.
Why is the Hillarification of Trump important? The necessary prior question: What is the greatest
threat to the neocons' American Empire? Answer: The ongoing integration of Eurasia under Chinese
hegemony. The key countries in this are China, Iran, and Russia. (Isn't it curious that, apart from
the momentary distraction of North Korea, these countries have been the focus of New York's hostility?)
In particular if Russia and, through it, China develop large and very profitable trade with Europe,
there goes NATO and with it the Empire.
Oops.
Thus the eeeeeeeeeeek! furor about Russia as existential threat and so on. Thus sending
a few troops to Baltic countries to "deter" Russia. This was theater. The idea that a thousand garrison
troops can stop the Russian army, which hasn't gone silly as ours has, on its doorstep is loony.
Hillary was on board with the Russia hysteria and the globalization and the immigration and so
on. Trump could have screwed the whole pooch by getting along with Russia, so he had to be reconfigured.
And was. A work in progress, but going well.
ORDER
IT NOW
Too much is being asked of him. One man cannot overcome the combined hostility of the media, the
political establishment, the neocons, the myriad other special interests that he has threatened.
Mass immigration is a done deal. China develops and America, already developed, cannot keep up. The
country disintegrates socially. Washington, always depending on war and its threat, faces a new world
in which trade is the weapon, and doesn't know what to do. The culture courses. The world changes.
Yet if only Trump showed some sign of knowing what he is doing, and could remember from day to
day, if only he realized that wars are more easily started than predicted, if only he were not becoming
an unbalanced Hillary.
Yet, apparently, he is.
(Reprinted from
Fred on Everything by permission of author or representative)
Nice satire... almost Gavlin style...
Notable quotes:
"... This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately. ..."
Anoncommentator | Apr 15, 2017 12:31:18 AM |
130
This is going viral and so it should!!!
corbettreport
The Syria
Strikes A Conspiracy Theory
TRANSCRIPT AND SOURCES:
https://www.corbettreport.com/syriast...
On the morning of April 4th 2017, Syrian President Bashar al-Assad, on the verge of a military
victory against the terrorist insurgency in his country and on the eve of peace talks that would
secure his position as president, decided to use chemical weapons
he didn't have against a target of no military significance in front of as many cameras as
possible to cross the one red line that would insure his own government's downfall.
Soon after, the
Academy Award-winning White Helmets –noted for their
Oscar-worthy performances
, persistent proximity
to Al Qaeda , and
financial dependence on USAID –bravely risked their lives, handling Sarin victims barehanded
against every protocol in the book.
Without presenting a shred of evidence, President Donald Trump boldly launched a military strike
against Shayrat airfield because "national security interest," promising to help the "beautiful
children" (*offer does not apply to babies in
Gaza ,
Yemen ,
Pakistan , or basically anywhere else).
That military strike, a volley of 59 Tomahawk land attack missiles of which
23 actually
made it to their target, failed to take out a single runway or even keep the airbase from
operating
for even 24 hours , but was a complete success for
ExxonMobil
,
Raytheon and Donald Trump .
No one could question the wisdom of striking Syria (
except Donald Trump ). And no one could oppose such a move (
except Russia ).
The Trump Train, still convinced by candidate Trump ("
dropping bombs on Assad
" and " look what happened
after Gaddafi ") concluded that this was 7th dimensional backgammon to make China afraid of
the US' willingness to
spend $100 million in a fearsome show of failing to destroy a single airfield.
Throughout the world people rejoice as a horrible secular regime in the Middle East is replaced
by yet another peace-loving band of ragtag human rights campaigners and
child
beheaders motivated by a desire to subdue the armies of Rome in an apocalyptic confrontation
in Dabiq. (*
actual ISIS belief )
The chemicals for the previous "red line" attack in Syria have since been proven to
come from Libya with US approval , but that's probably not relevant to this case.
The CIA has released
declassified report after
declassified report showing that the plan to topple Syria's government has been in the works
for decades, but this just shows that they were right all along.
The mainstream media
unquestioningly asserts that the story is true because the US government says so, but that's
OK because we all know the msm is full of unbiased truthtellers and dig hard to get the raw facts
on every story. (" beauty
of our weapons ")
Even members of congress think the story is
a load of hogwash ,
but that's OK because they're probably crazy.
Meanwhile the White House has released
a report on its intelligence about the chemical attack that
refutes its own version of the story , but that's OK because when has the White House ever
lied people into war?
This man doesn't exist,
and if you think he does you're an enemy of humanity who should apologize for having been born.
Likewise him ,
her ,
her ,
him and
him . And him and
her .
This is the 100% true story of the #SyriaStrikes, and if you support sites like The Corbett
Report that question it in any way you are a moonbeam fake news tyrant-loving hippy pinko Russian
agent and should commit ritual suicide immediately.
If you love your country and/or liberty, NASCAR, supermodels, TV, water slides or your mother
you will not question this story in any way. Ever.
This message has been brought to you by the Friends of
the Brookings Institute ,
Raytheon ,
Genie Oil ,
Oded Yinon ,
I-CIA-SIS and
The New York Times .
Because IGNORANCE IS STRENGTH!
DrDick
said in
reply to pgl...
,
April 03, 2017 at
04:22 PM
A great piece by
Stiglitz. (
Illiberal
Stagnation - Joseph E.
Stiglitz
)
paine ->
DrDick
...
,
April 03, 2017 at
04:22 PM
Too much liberal swamp gas
libezkova -> paine...
,
April 03, 2017 at 09:33 PM
"Too much [neo]liberal swamp gas"
this is almost Mark
Twain's level quote :-).
With the Russian election hacking scandal having gone from the merely strange, to the bizarre,
to the ironic, to the McCarthyist, and most recently, jumping the patently absurd shark - as of last
night, anyone who is against Hillary is "influenced
by Russia" according to a former Clinton advisor - Russia decided to have some fun at the expense
of US paranoia.
On Saturday, the ministry posted the following audio file of the "new" automated telephone switchboard
message for Russian embassies.
"You have reached the Russian embassy, your call is very important to us. To arrange a call from
a Russian diplomat to your political opponent, press 1. To use the services of Russian hackers press
2. To request election interference, press 3 and wait until the next election campaign. Please note
that all calls are recorded for quality improvement and training purposes."
And just to make it clear, it is April 1: as AP observes for the countless spy agencies, and congressional
committees still trying to explain how Moscow subliminally influenced millions of Americans to vote
for Trump instead of Hillary, a ministry officer confirmed that the post was a joke.
Belrev -> ->
Chris Dakota
Apr 1, 2017 11:14 AM
Here is the English part of the answering machine message
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oDOGOPZrsb0
Chet Ricco -> yovatti •Apr 1, 2017 10:36 AM
What does Russia do that the U.S. doesn't? Spy on it's people? Engage in state sponsored assassination?
Invade sovereign nations? Oh, I know what makes you angry! They don't allow homos access to children.
Yeah, only scumbags keep their children safe. S/
In particular, there is a popular anecdote about an American man proving the benefits
of freedom of speech to a Russian guy. The American claims he can safely go to the
White House and shout out "Screw you, Ronald Reagan!" The Soviet guy indifferently
replies: "So what? I can go to the Kremlin and yell 'Screw you, Ronald Reagan!' too."
Another well-known joke describes how various Soviet leaders responded to a
situation where a train they were travelling in suddenly stops. Vladimir Lenin
suggests uniting all workers and peasants and asking them to build a new road. Joseph
Stalin orders the train drivers shot. Nikita Khrushchev rehabilitates the executed
ones, orders that the rails be removed from behind the train and put in front of it.
And Leonid Brezhnev draws the curtains and starts swinging from side to side,
imitating the train's movement.
25th Anniversary of the USSR's Collapse: Perestroika in Pictures
20
There is also a joke about a disgruntled Soviet worker who decides to leave a line
in a liquor store because he finds it too long and instead attempt "to kill Mikhail
Gorbachev." However, later he returns, noting that "the queue there is even longer."
"Communism is an unscientific doctrine because it was not initially tested
on dogs," claims another political joke.
In another joke poking fun at the permanent shortages in stores, a man comes
into a shop and asks "You wouldn't happen to have fish, would you?" The shop
assistant replies, "comrade, you've got it wrong! This is a butcher's shop - here we
wouldn't happen to have meat. There is a fish shop across the road, that's where they
wouldn't happen to have fish!"
In particular, there is a popular anecdote about an American man proving the benefits
of freedom of speech to a Russian guy. The American claims he can safely go to the
White House and shout out "Screw you, Ronald Reagan!" The Soviet guy indifferently
replies: "So what? I can go to the Kremlin and yell 'Screw you, Ronald Reagan!' too."
Another well-known joke describes how various Soviet leaders responded to a
situation where a train they were travelling in suddenly stops. Vladimir Lenin
suggests uniting all workers and peasants and asking them to build a new road. Joseph
Stalin orders the train drivers shot. Nikita Khrushchev rehabilitates the executed
ones, orders that the rails be removed from behind the train and put in front of it.
And Leonid Brezhnev draws the curtains and starts swinging from side to side,
imitating the train's movement.
25th Anniversary of the USSR's Collapse: Perestroika in Pictures
20
There is also a joke about a disgruntled Soviet worker who decides to leave a line
in a liquor store because he finds it too long and instead attempt "to kill Mikhail
Gorbachev." However, later he returns, noting that "the queue there is even longer."
"Communism is an unscientific doctrine because it was not initially tested
on dogs," claims another political joke.
In another joke poking fun at the permanent shortages in stores, a man comes
into a shop and asks "You wouldn't happen to have fish, would you?" The shop
assistant replies, "comrade, you've got it wrong! This is a butcher's shop - here we
wouldn't happen to have meat. There is a fish shop across the road, that's where they
wouldn't happen to have fish!"
Some people I am acquainted with came up with:
The Democratic Party Apology Handbook
http://www.byebyedemocracy.org/p/the-democratic-party-apology-handbook.html?m=1
Some people I am acquainted with came up with:
The Democratic Party Apology Handbook
http://www.byebyedemocracy.org/p/the-democratic-party-apology-handbook.html?m=1
Tom aka Rusty :
,
February 21, 2017 at 11:11 AM
Not as good as The Onion, but pretty funny in a weird way:
http://www.hillarybeattrump.org
RGC -> Tom aka Rusty...
,
February 21, 2017 at 11:38 AM
Pro-lifers disavow clinic bombings: "We finally see the
irony"
(My keyboard is devastated)
ilsm -> Tom aka Rusty...
,
February 21, 2017 at 02:08 PM
democrats' 'real America' where the deep state McCarthy's the
republicans and the media lies keeping the Cambridge and
Berkley 'majority' conned.
DuckDog
->
ronaldwilsonreagan
,
Feb 19, 2017 1:20 PM
Finally we get Pence in control and he can carry on where Obama left off and
Hillary couldn't start, WWIII with Russia.... I so want to see what a first
strike looks like and the aftermath of what Russia will do to North America.
Attacking Russia will be the best show on TV, all the fake MSM news will have
to cover the fallout in North America in real time, awesome stuff....
New_Meat
->
DuckDog
,
Feb 19, 2017 5:55 PM
DuckDog, we know that the really fake MSM will say
"It is all George
Bush's Fault!!!"
Details at 11.
And, as a bonus, they will learn what "fallout" is.
WASHINGTON-Stopping and turning around as he made his way across the South Lawn after hearing
the unmanned aerial vehicle hovering just feet behind him, outgoing President Barack Obama tearfully
shooed away a loyal MQ-9 Reaper drone attempting to follow him out of the White House, sources
confirmed Friday.
"Go on now-get out of here!" said the former commander-in-chief, his lower lip
trembling and his eyes welling with tears as he affected a stern tone of voice in an attempt to
scare off the faithful hunter-killer drone that had spent the past eight years obediently at his
side.
"You can't come with me anymore, you got that? Can't you see this is for your own good?
Now scram. What are you waiting for? Go!" At press time, a heartbroken Obama had thrown a rock
in the drone's direction, causing the unmanned aerial vehicle to flee into the sky, where it paused
to look back one last time at its old master before flying off toward a Yemeni tribal wedding.
UserFriendly
,
January 12, 2017 at 2:20 pm
The WHO* warns of outbreak of virulent new 'Economic Reality' virus by
Steve Keen
Absolutely hilarious!
https://www.elgaronline.com/view/journals/roke/5-1/roke.2017.01.08.xml?rskey=EcXQgX&result=1
shinola
,
January 12, 2017 at 4:03 pm
Thanks UF! I thought it was very amusing. I would recommend it as a
companion to the Pilkington article that precedes today's water cooler.
The Who also had these words of warning decades ago: "Meet the new boss /
same as the old boss";)
Peter K. :
January
12, 2017 at 10:31 AM
,
2017 at 10:31 AM
[h/t Steve Randy Waldmann]
http://www.theonion.com/infographic/pros-and-cons-universal-basic-income-55011
The Pros And Cons Of Universal Basic Income
INFOGRAPHIC
January 11, 2017
VOL 53 ISSUE 01
As Finland tests a program to give a universal basic
income to unemployed citizens, many wonder if a similar
initiative could work in the United States. Here are some
pros and cons of such a program:
PRO
- Would make people feel valued by their government in
precise capitalist terms they can understand
- Privileged elite no longer the only ones with access
to Pizza Hut Triple Treat Box
- Whole basic human dignity thing
- Opens up more opportunities to use the phrase "sucking
at the government's teat"
- The look on some rich prick's face hearing about this
for the first time
- More marks for your pyramid scheme
CON
- System can be exploited by "welfare queens" who live
lavishly on the spoils of their $500 monthly allotment
- Recipients might lose sight of the value of hard work,
the most noble and treasured aspect of American life
- Would take forever to sign all those checks
- Encourages entrepreneurship among dumb$sses who dream
of opening a f!@#ing cupcake truck or some other bull!@#$t
- The long-term effects of bestowing lower class with a
sense of dignity are currently unknown
- Leveling the playing field would be detrimental to the
vast minority of Americans
ilsm : ,
January 02, 2017 at
04:19 PM
Out of nowhere......
came a
dysfunctional GOP tilting against a corporatist opposition which thinks supporting
abortion, free sex, weed and gay marriage is being liberal.
likbez ->
ilsm...
, -1
That's how you forge the
"Third Way" democratic coalition ;-)
Here's 10 ways to spot a *real* Russian Spy in America:
1) Superior use of the English language, with a thick accent, failure to use articles such as
'the' and 'a' – such as 'take shower' instead of 'going to take a shower.' Russian Language
is far more complex but more logical and efficient in use of letters, speech, and writing.
Russian natives who master English typically have a large vocabulary, and will use proper tenses
and complex grammatical structures because they studied it, and will likely leave out slang such
as 'you know' and 'like.' (Until of course, they live here for 10 years)
2) Never smiling. Russians do not smile unless they are laughing at a joke, and maybe in
some rare cases when something funny happens. Even in this case, their dark sense of humor
is something they enjoy on the inside. It's not polite to walk around Moscow smiling.
If you do, someone may call the police (as if you have gone mad).
3) Seems to be rude – never says 'please' or 'thank you' – Russians do not have a concept of why
you should say 'thank you' to a stranger who just took $50 from you for your groceries. How
has this person really helped you or brightened your day? Isn't it their job? Should
you say 'thank you for doing your job' as if it's a miracle?
4) Does not wear shoes in his home, he has a foyer where when he enters his house takes off all
coats, scarves, hats, shoes and other 'outdoor' wear and puts on fuzzy house slippers or just wears
socks.
5) Constantly pays with physical cash. Although some Americans do this anyway who are not
necessarily Russian – nearly ALL Russians use 100% physical Rubles for everything from paying rent,
health insurance, doctors visits, buying a car, buying groceries, or investing. The electronic
economy hasn't taken hold in Russia – and partly because they are 'paranoid' that if they put their
money in a bank, the bank will seize it or bankrupt.
6) Never will open a door for a stranger, or move out of the way if you are in his walking vector,
in fact he may knock over any passersby like bowling pins if they are in the way; and certainly will
never say 'excuse me.'
7) Always well dressed, even to go grocery shopping – maybe keeps a pocket comb even if his hair
is only 2 cm long. Russians don't have a concept of wearing sweat suits or pajamas to the grocery
store. When they go out even if just to run to the corner store for a milk.
8) Wary to use air conditioner. In Russia very few buildings have A/C – in the summer months
when it's hot, it is still cool at night, when most open windows and enjoy a nice breeze. Modern
buildings of course have the conveniences of A/C but those who are older or who grew up in older
buildings do not have A/C – only heat. Therefore, they aren't used to cranking up the A/C year
round like the blue hairs in Sunny Florida. If they are hot they are more likely to take a
walk or open the windows.
9) Not likely to find Russians in paid public events unless they are formal. Russia has
a well-developed public system of parks and other free public use systems and they aren't used to
paying a few dollars to enter a public park, see Christmas lights, or $1 to view through binoculars
along side the highway. Paying $250 for theater tickets is different – they aren't cheap people,
they are just not used to being nickeled and dimed when outside their homes, because in Russia it's
all free.
10) Strange tippers. In Russia they don't use the 'tipping' system, if you eat in a café
or bar you may leave your spare change for example, if the bill is $9.50 you may leave the additional
$.50 – or if you have a few extra dollars you may leave it – or not. The majority of cafes,
restaurants, bars, and other establishments only expect tips from tourists. And if a Russian
does leave a tip, it's likely to be very small (not 10%!!).
There you have it! There are many cultural differences between USA and Russia, although
there are too many similarities. In this series of articles, we're spreading the facts about
Russia – the great unknown Bear.
Umh ,
Dec 24, 2016 6:09 PM
#4 makes him Turkish or Chinese or Japanese......
Notable quotes:
"... What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as old under the sun as "group-think". ..."
"... he served a purpose when he diverged from long established consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that border-less trade ruined heartland America. ..."
[
O poder do "não" ]
[
Het vermogen van "njet" ]
[ Síla
„Nět" ]
[
Le pouvoir du " Niet " ]
The way things are supposed to work on this planet is like this: in the United States, the power
structures (public and private) decide what they want the rest of the world to do. They communicate
their wishes through official and unofficial channels, expecting automatic cooperation. If cooperation
is not immediately forthcoming, they apply political, financial and economic pressure. If that still
doesn't produce the intended effect, they attempt regime change through a color revolution or a military
coup, or organize and finance an insurgency leading to terrorist attacks and civil war in the recalcitrant
nation. If that still doesn't work, they bomb the country back to the stone age. This is the way
it worked in the 1990s and the 2000s, but as of late a new dynamic has emerged.
In the beginning it was centered on Russia, but the phenomenon has since spread around the world
and is about to engulf the United States itself. It works like this: the United States decides what
it wants Russia to do and communicates its wishes, expecting automatic cooperation. Russia says "Nyet."
The United States then runs through all of the above steps up to but not including the bombing campaign,
from which it is deterred by Russia's nuclear deterrent. The answer remains "Nyet." One could perhaps
imagine that some smart person within the US power structure would pipe up and say: "Based on the
evidence before us, dictating our terms to Russia doesn't work; let's try negotiating with Russia
in good faith as equals." And then everybody else would slap their heads and say, "Wow! That's brilliant!
Why didn't we think of that?" But instead that person would be fired that very same day because,
you see, American global hegemony is nonnegotiable. And so what happens instead is that the Americans
act baffled, regroup and try again, making for quite an amusing spectacle.
The whole Edward Snowden imbroglio was particularly fun to watch. The US demanded his extradition.
The Russians said: "Nyet, our constitution forbids it." And then, hilariously, some voices in the
West demanded in response that Russia change its constitution! The response, requiring no translation,
was "Xa-xa-xa-xa-xa!" Less funny is the impasse over Syria: the Americans have been continuously
demanding that Russia go along with their plan to overthrow Bashar Assad. The unchanging Russian
response has been: "Nyet, the Syrians get to decide on their leadership, not Russia, and not the
US." Each time they hear it, the Americans scratch their heads and try again. John Kerry was just
recently in Moscow, holding a marathon "negotiating session" with Putin and Lavrov. Above is a photo
of Kerry talking to Putin and Lavrov in Moscow a week or so ago and their facial expressions are
hard to misread. There's Kerry, with his back to the camera, babbling away as per usual. Lavrov's
face says: "I can't believe I have to sit here and listen to this nonsense again." Putin's face says:
"Oh the poor idiot, he can't bring himself to understand that we're just going to say 'nyet' again."
Kerry flew home with yet another "nyet."
What's worse, other countries are now getting into the act. The Americans told the Brits exactly
how to vote, and yet the Brits said "nyet" and voted for Brexit. The Americans told the Europeans
to accept the horrendous corporate power grab that is the Transatlantic Trade and Investment Partnership
(TTIP), and the French said "nyet, it shall not pass." The US organized yet another military coup
in Turkey to replace Erdoǧan with somebody who won't try to play nice with Russia, and the Turks
said "nyet" to that too. And now, horror of horrors, there is Donald Trump saying "nyet" to all sorts
of things-NATO, offshoring American jobs, letting in a flood of migrants, globalization, weapons
for Ukrainian Nazis, free trade
The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated.
If you are supposed to think and act like a hegemon, but only the thinking part still works, then
the result is cognitive dissonance. If your job is to bully nations around, and the nations can no
longer be bullied, then your job becomes a joke, and you turn into a mental patient. The resulting
madness has recently produced quite an interesting symptom: some number of US State Department staffers
signed a letter, which was promptly leaked, calling for a bombing campaign against Syria in order
to overthrow Bashar Assad. These are diplomats. Diplomacy is the art of avoiding war by talking.
Diplomats who call for war are not being exactly diplomatic. You could say that they are incompetent
diplomats, but that wouldn't go far enough (most of the competent diplomats left the service during
the second Bush administration, many of them in disgust over having to lie about the rationale for
the Iraq war). The truth is, they are sick, deranged non-diplomatic warmongers. Such is the power
of this one simple Russian word that they have quite literally lost their minds.
But it would be unfair to single out the State Department. It is as if the entire American body
politic has been infected by a putrid miasma. It permeates all things and makes life miserable. In
spite of the mounting problems, most other things in the US are still somewhat manageable, but this
one thing-the draining away of the ability to bully the whole world-ruins everything. It's mid-summer,
the nation is at the beach. The beach blanket is moth-eaten and threadbare, the beach umbrella has
holes in it, the soft drinks in the cooler are laced with nasty chemicals and the summer reading
is boring and then there is a dead whale decomposing nearby, whose name is "Nyet." It just ruins
the whole ambiance!
The media chattering heads and the establishment politicos are at this point painfully aware of
this problem, and their predictable reaction is to blame it on what they perceive as its ultimate
source: Russia, conveniently personified by Putin. "If you aren't voting for Clinton, you are voting
for Putin" is one recently minted political trope. Another is that Trump is Putin's agent. Any public
figure that declines to take a pro-establishment stance is automatically labeled "Putin's useful
idiot." Taken at face value, such claims are preposterous. But there is a deeper explanation for
them: what ties them all together is the power of "nyet." A vote for Sanders is a "nyet" vote: the
Democratic establishment produced a candidate and told people to vote for her, and most of the young
people said "nyet." Same thing with Trump: the Republican establishment trotted out its Seven Dwarfs
and told people to vote for any one of them, and yet most of the disenfranchised working-class white
people said "nyet" and voted for Snow White the outsider.
It is a hopeful sign that people throughout the Washington-dominated world are discovering the
power of "nyet." The establishment may still look spiffy on the outside, but under the shiny new
paint there hides a rotten hull, with water coming in though every open seam. A sufficiently resounding
"nyet" will probably be enough to cause it to founder, suddenly making room for some very necessary
changes. When that happens, please remember to thank Russia or, if you insist, Putin.
NowhereMan said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 7:13:00 AM EDT
Beautiful! I'm going to start using that word in conversation now just to gauge people's
reactions. Nyet!!! I have one particularly stuffy friend who's just baffled by the Trump
phenomenon. He's an old school GOP conservative at heart who's chagrined that he's had to
abandon the grand old party in favor of HRC and can't understand for the life of him why the
"dirt people" are so enamored with Trump and Sanders. I just laugh and tell him that they're
abandoning the Dems for the same reasons that he's embracing them.
The rich and the near rich (which seems to include just about everybody these days, if only in
their imaginations) here in the US all suffer from fundamental attribution bias - the idea
that their own exceptionalism is why they are doing well - rather than realizing that it's all
mostly just the luck of the draw - or even worse - their own willingness to carry corporate
water like the good little Nazi's they are that has allowed them to temporarily advance their
station in life.
Fortunately for us all, the sun is setting on America's empire as we speak, and fevered dreams
of US hegemony for the rest of time will be short lived indeed, although homo sapiens' time
might be limited as well. If history keeps recording in the aftermath, US nuclear enabled
hegemony will be but a brief blip on the historical radar, and like the legend of Atlantis
before us, we'll be remembered chiefly as a society gone mad with our technologies, who
aspired to reach out and touch the face of god, but instead settled for embracing our many
inner devils. We won't be missed.
Happy Unicorn said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:26:00 AM EDT
A vote for Trump is a vote for Putin? Wouldn't THAT be nice!
Dave Stockton said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:36:00 AM EDT
This whole, "a vote against Hillary is a vote for Putin", is the best thing that could have
happened this election. The US population will now have a debate and get to vote on whether we
truly want to start World War Three. Hopefully the powers that be will be surprised by the
response... NYET!
Unknown said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:23:00 PM EDT
Nice...
Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)
http://sevendaynews.com/2016/06/17/putin-has-lavrov-compared-with-gromyko/
Vyse Legendaire said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 12:37:00 PM EDT
I hope someone would volunteer to design a 'Nyet!' T-shirt on teepublic for advocates to
show their unity to the cause.
Shawn Sincoski said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 4:44:00 PM EDT
I really hope that the next time the TBTF banks need a handout, somebody, somewhere reacts
with a 'NFW' that resonates with the other plebes. Such a powerful word. But I am doubtful
that such an event will occur. With all that is going on with Hillary the house should be on
fire by now, but it is not (I am not advocating Trump by disparaging HRC). I suspect that the
coming American experience will be unique and (dis)proportionate to their apathy.
Cortes said... Tuesday, July 26, 2016 at 9:01:00 PM EDT
Herbert Marcuse: The first word of freedom is "No"
Irene Parousis said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 6:58:00 AM EDT
BRILLIANT!!!
Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 12:12:00 AM EDT
d94c074a-53e8-11e6-947a-073bf9f943f9 said...
Excellent.
There is a minor twist: "The corrosive psychological effect of "nyet" on the American
hegemonic psyche cannot be underestimated". Probably GWB's "misunderestimated" left some local
linguistic traume in your brain popping up in your otherwise perfect comment. I guess you
meant "cannot be overestimated". Nevermind, you message is clear and convincing anyway :-)
Mister Roboto said... Wednesday, July 27, 2016 at 8:07:00 AM EDT
This sums up why all the usual poppycock and folderol about why I need to vote for Hillary
that always succeeded in getting under my intellectual skin in the past is now just the mere
noise of screeching cats outside the window to me: There just comes a point where, if you have
any integrity at all, you have to say, "Nyet!"
Mark said...
Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 5:42:00 AM EDT
At some point, voting for a major party candidate is just throwing away your vote.
Roger said...
Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 7:11:00 AM EDT
I always enjoy Dmitry's blogs and the fact that he pushes the Russian perspective, as a relief
from the Russophobic drivel put out by the mainstream. However, a word of caution to the wise.
Obama, Kerry, Clinton, Trump et al. are, in fact, extremely unfunny. Charlie Chaplin lampooned
the funny little man with the moustache in the Great Dictator, xa! xa! xa! The truth came out
later. Do not be afraid of Neocon America, but please remember these are dangerous people. Be
vigilant always.
Bruno said...
Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 10:55:00 AM EDT
Loved.
And sad because Brasil didn't say NYET to the coup planted here by USA.
Unknown said...
Thursday, July 28, 2016 at 1:02:00 PM EDT
"Putin recently made fun of Lavrov, that he is becoming like Gromyko....
...and Gromyko was called Mr. NYET. :-)"
Even better, Lavrov was subsequently quoted in the press as saying "don't make me say the four
letter word".
What a tag team!
Marty said...
Friday, July 29, 2016 at 9:20:00 AM EDT
I really believe that you have hit the crux of the issue, the Neocon psychopaths are besides
themselves over the Nyets, and they find themselves to be a once powerful now toothless lion,
the are being laughed at, even by the American people.
I hope so because the worst of the bunch is Mrs. Clinton, she is just a crazy and stupid enough
to burn it all down, perhaps the only thing that would prevent her from doing so is that this
would interfere with her Diabolical Narcissistic need to be seen as the Kleptocrat she is and
to get away with being the biggest grifter in American history.
Turkey shows that they can't even organize a proper coup any more, even when they have a major
base in the country of the government to be compromised. The NeoCons must be so disappointed.
This failed coup was probably also was a big disappointment to those Fed Banksters who were
counting on looting the Bank if Turkey's 500 or so Tonnes of gold, as they did with Ukraine.
Roger said...
Friday, July 29, 2016 at 12:53:00 PM EDT
Leon Panetta sez "we know how to do this" despite an exuberant flourishing of evidence to the
contrary. But there's a glimmer of hope, even if it comes from a way down the ranks, because
there's a Col Bacevitch who begs to differ and sez "with all due respect, we DON'T know how to
do this."
You ask, know how to do WHAT exactly? Well, the topic at issue in a PBS panel discussion was
destroying the Islamic State. But knowing how to do it or NOT knowing how to do it could refer
equally to a series of monumental American foreign policy muffs. How could it be, that America
with all its military force, screws up so mightily and predictably? Because it's as Mr Orlov
asserts, there's a lot of NYETS out there and the American foreign policy establishment can't
fathom it.
But what they most crucially can't fathom is that those damn furriners have their own
interests at heart just like the Americans have their own interests. Americans from the street
level to the highest echelons view the world through Americentric lens resulting in
ludicrously distorted fun-house views of the world.
For example, why doesn't the Iranian see things the way Americans want him to? Why is it
always "nyet" coming out of Teheran? Why are Iranians so belligerent? Americans seemingly
can't comprehend that Iran is an ancient imperial power whose roots go back millennia, right
to the origins of civilization. But could it possibly be that Iranian concerns have got more
to do with goings-on in their geographic locale and pretty much nothing to do with the United
States? And that the Iranian is highly irritated that Americans stick their noses into matters
that concern Americans only tangentially or not at all? Could it be that the Iranian has his
own life pathways in age-old places that Americans know nothing about? Could it be that an
Iranian is educated in his own traditions in ancient academies that far pre-date anything on
American soil? You can replace the words "Iranian" and "Iran" with "Chinese" and "China" or
"Japanese" and "Japan" or dozens of other places and societies including "Russian" and
"Russia". American incomprehension goes deep.
Maybe some of the world is Washington-dominated. But maybe some this domination is more
apparent than real. Maybe it only seems Washington-dominated because in many of these places
there's a concordance of interests with the United States. But in most of the globe the
interests of Americans are not the same as those of the locals. And America has not got the
will nor the reach to make it otherwise.
Happy Unicorn said...
Roger: "But in most of the globe the interests of Americans are not the same as those of the
locals."
Most of the globe, including America itself! The interests of the Americans you're talking
about are usually not the same as mine or anyone's that I know ("the locals" in America). I
suspect the people of the USA who aren't brainwashed would have a lot in common with everybody
else in the world, because the first colony of any would-be empire (colony 0, let's say) is
always the country it originated from. More and more of us are saying nyet too, though the
utterance usually takes the less exotic form also enumerated by Dmitry awhile back: "No,
because we hate you."
Friday, July 29, 2016 at 3:03:00 PM EDT
flops said...
Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 7:22:00 AM EDT
In good wronglish:
There's America, Americans, USA.
And, in some point of our decolonized memory, there's Pacha Mama, our Mother Earth, the name
given to our land by the older people.
Not by chance, the unique country in Pacha Mama continents that have a pre-colonial language
as its official - Paraguay's Guarani - was the initial focus of this antidemocratic wave
attacking our countries.
We, the united states of...? What?
"Pacha Mama" is our best nyet!
Not anymore south and central americas, south and central "americans". Pacha Mama is our real
continents' name! We are The United States of Pacha Mama!
When mentioning people from brazil, angentine, chile, bolivia, peru paraguay
colombiavenezuelahaiti,surinamepanamacubamexico and so, please call us Pachamamists. That'
what we are.
Roger said...
Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 11:27:00 AM EDT
HappyUnicorn, of course you're right.
What we ordinary folk think of as "American" interests are those interests as expressed by an
entrenched foreign policy establishment to which the price of admission isn't only graduate
studies in an expensive university. No, you have to walk within the lines. There's nothing as
old under the sun as "group-think".
The lines are long established. Just think of it: globalization, off-shoring millions of jobs,
on-shoring millions of dirt-poor immigrants, legal and otherwise. Nothing warms the cockles of
the oligarch's heart like a desperate underclass.
I know Trump is a buffoon. But he served a purpose when he diverged from long established
consensus and said that maybe, just maybe, getting on with the Russians might not be that
hard. Or that NATO is an out-dated, dead-weight non-alliance of the unwilling. Or that
border-less trade ruined heartland America.
You saw the venomous reaction. A lot of people staked a career on the status-quo. Is the
best-before expired as Trump suggested? I'll bet that if it hadn't been a blustering clown
that raised it, many more people on the street would agree.
Some regional interests are historic and easily visible for example, along the Mason-Dixon
line. But even on either side of that old divide I think that the disparity is more an
artifact of opposing elites determined to not get along. Why don't they get along? Well,
there's a country to loot. You need distractions and diversions while pension funds and
treasuries are emptied.
And so we're off chasing our tails on burning problems like gender neutral washrooms.
Brilliant, don't you think? Kudos to the Obama regime for that one. And so it's God fearin',
gun packin' "conservative" versus enlightened, high-minded "progressive". What a joke, what a
con. Yet, predictably, we fell for it. You name it, school prayer, abortion, evolution, and
now washrooms, we fall for it, we always do.
Robert T. said...
Saturday, July 30, 2016 at 1:52:00 PM EDT
It would be very nice if someone could write a piece on what life in Russia, in all its
levels, is really like nowadays. I suspect that it is not just "nyet" that terrifies the
Empire, but rather what Russia herself is now increasingly coming to represent.
A lot of people, myself included, had been brought up thinking that Russia, while indeed a
superpower, isn't and cannot be on the same page as the US. But now here are reports saying
that a good and strong leader has pulled Russia out of the rut, and made things better. What's
more, this leader did it in a manner that seems antithetical to the Empire. And what's even
better is that this new Russia can't be easily rocked, like how the other countries had been
rocked and thrown into chaos. The Empire therefore is at its wit's end. If people from other
parts of the Earth, especially in those many places where democracy has failed miserably,
begin to see that there is indeed an alternative to the empirical system, won't they then
start to follow Russia's footsteps?
Headsails said... Tuesday, August 2, 2016 at 2:07:00 AM EDT
Just like a spoiled rotten child that needs to learn some manners. It needs to learn the
meaning of no. But in this case, instead of a spankng they would be chain ganged for life.
Brain Parasite Gonna Eatcha!
I've been experiencing some difficulties with commenting on the current political situation in the
US, because it's been a little too funny, whereas this is a very serious blog. But I have decided
that I must try my best. Now, these are serious matters, so as you read this, please refrain from
any and all levity and mirth.
You may have heard by now that the Russians stole the US presidential election; if it wasn't for
them, Hillary Clinton would have been president-elect, but because of their meddling we are now stuck
with Donald Trump and his 1001 oligarchs running the federal government for the next four years.
There are two ways to approach this question. One is to take the accusation of Russian hacking
of the US elections at face value, and we will certainly do that. But first let's try another way,
because it's quicker. Let's consider the accusation itself as a symptom of some unrelated disorder.
This is often the best way forward. Suppose a person walks into a doctor's office, and says, "Doctor,
I believe I have schizophrenium poisoning." Should the doctor summon the hazmat team, or check for
schizophrenia first?
And so let's first consider that this "Russians did it" refrain we keep hearing is a symptom of
something else, of which Russians are not the cause. My working hypothesis is that this behavior
is being caused by a brain parasite. Yes, this may seem outlandish at first, but as we'll see later
the theory that the Russians stole the election is no less outlandish.
Brain parasites are known to alter the behavior of the organisms they infest in a variety of subtle
ways. For instance, Toxicoplasma gondii alters the behavior of rodents, causing them to lose
fear of cats and to become attracted to the smell of cat urine, making it easy for the cats to catch
them. It also alters the behavior of humans, causing them to lavish excessive affection on cats and
to compulsively download photographs of cute kittens playing with yarn.
My hypothesis is that this particular brain parasite was specifically bioengineered by the US
to make those it infects hate Russia. I suspect that the neurological trigger it uses is Putin's
face, which the parasite somehow wires into the visual cortex. This virus was first unleashed on
the unsuspecting Ukrainians, where its effect was plain to see. This historically Russian, majority
Russian-speaking, culturally Russian and religiously Russian Orthodox region suddenly erupted in
an epidemic of Russophobia. The Ukraine cut economic ties with Russia, sending its economy into a
tailspin, and started a war with its eastern regions, which were quite recently part of Russia and
wish to become part of Russia again.
So far so good: the American bioengineers who created this virus achieved the effect they wanted,
turning a Russian region into an anti-Russian region. But as happens so often with biological agents,
it turned out to be hard to keep under control. Its next victims turned out to be NATO and the Pentagon,
whose leadership started compulsively uttering the phrase "Russian aggression" in a manner suggestive
of Tourette's Syndrome, entirely undeterred by the complete absence of evidence of any such aggression
that they could present for objective analysis. They, along with the by now fit-to-be-tied Ukrainians,
kept prattling on about "Russian invasion," waving about decades-old pictures of Russian tanks they
downloaded from their friends on Facebook.
From there the brain parasite spread to the White House, the Clinton presidential campaign, the
Democratic National Committee, and its attendant press corps, who are now all chattering away about
"Russian hacking." The few knowledgeable voices who point out that there is absolutely no hard evidence
of any such "Russian hacking" are being drowned out by the Bedlam din of the rest.
This, to me, seems like the simplest explanation that fits the facts. But to be fair and balanced,
let us also examine the other perspective: that claims of "Russian hacking" should be taken at face
value. The first difficulty we encounter is that what is being termed "Russian hacking" is not hacks
but leaks. Hacks occur where some unauthorized party breaks into a server and steals data. Leaks
occur where an insider-a "whistleblower"-violates rules of secrecy and/or confidentiality in order
to release into the public domain evidence of wrongdoing. In this case, evidence of leaking is prima
facie: Was the data in question evidence of wrongdoing? Yes. Was it released into the public domain?
Yes. Has the identity of said leaker or leakers remained secret? Yes, with good reason.
But this does not rule out hacking, because what a leaker can do, a hacker can also do, although
with difficulty. Leakers have it easy: you see evidence of wrongdoing, take umbrage at it, copy it
onto a thumb drive, smuggle it off premises, and upload it to Wikileaks through a public wifi hotspot
from an old laptop you bought off Craislist and then smashed. But what's a poor hacker to do? You
hack into server after server, running the risk of getting caught each time, only to find that the
servers contain minutes of public meetings, old press releases, backups of public web sites and-incriminating
evidence!-a mother lode of pictures of fluffy kittens playing with yarn downloaded by a secretary
afflicted with Toxicoplasma gondii .
The solution, of course, is to create something that's worth hacking, or leaking, but this is
a much harder problem. What the Russians had to do, then, was take the incorruptible, squeaky-clean
goody-two-shoes faithful public servant Hillary Clinton, infiltrate the Clinton Foundation, Hillary's
presidential campaign and the Democratic National Committee, and somehow manipulate them all into
doing things that, when leaked (or hacked) would reliably turn the electorate against Clinton. Yes
Sir, Tovarishch Putin!
Those Russians sure are clever! They managed to turn the DNC into an anti-Bernie Sanders operation,
depriving him of electoral votes through a variety of underhanded practices while appealing to anti-Semitic
sentiments in certain parts of the country. They managed to manipulate Donna Brazile into handing
presidential debate questions to the Clinton campaign. They even managed to convince certain Ukrainian
oligarchs and Saudi princes to bestow millions upon the Clinton foundation in exchange for certain
future foreign policy concessions. The list of these leak-worthy Russian subterfuges goes on and
on But who can stop them?
And so clearly the Russians had to first corrupt the Clinton Foundation, the Clinton Presidential
campaign and the Democratic National Committee, just in order to render them hackworthy. But here
we have a problem. You see, if you can hack into a server, so can everyone else. Suppose you leave
your front door unlocked and swinging in the breeze, and long thereafter stuff goes missing. Of course
you can blame the neighbor you happen to like least, but then why would anyone believe you? Anybody
could have walked through that door and taken your shit. And so it is hard to do anything beyond
lobbing empty accusations at Russia as far as hacking is concerned; but the charge of corrupting
the incorruptible Hillary Clinton is another matter entirely.
Because here the ultimate Russian achievement was in getting Hillary Clinton to refer to over
half of her electorate as "a basket of deplorables," and this was no mean feat. It takes a superpower
to orchestrate a political blunder of this magnitude. This she did in front of an LGBT audience in
New York. Now, Hillary is no spring chicken when it comes to national politics: she's been through
quite a few federal elections, and she has enough experience to know that pissing off over half of
your electorate in one fell swoop is not a particularly smart thing to do. Obviously, she was somehow
hypnotized into uttering these words no doubt by a hyperintelligent space-based Russian operative.
The Russian covert operation into subverting American democracy started with the Russians sending
an agent into the hitherto unexplored hinter regions of America, to see what they are like. Hunched
over his desk, Putin whipped out a map of the US and a crayon, and lightly shaded in an area south
of the Mason-Dixon line, west of New York and Pennsylvania, and east of the Rockies.
Let me come clean. I have split loyalties. I have spent most of my life hobnobbing with transnational
elites on the East Coast, but I have also spent quite a few years working for a very large midwestern
agricultural equipment company, and a very large midwestern printing company, so I know the culture
of the land quite well. I am sure that what this Russian agent reported back is that the land is
thickly settled with white people of Anglo-Irish, Scottish, German and Slavic extraction, that they
are macho, that their women (for it is quite a male-centric culture) tend to vote same way as the
men for the sake of domestic tranquility, that they don't much like dark-skinned people or gays,
and that plenty of them view the East Coast and California as dens of iniquity and corruption, if
not modern-day Sodoms and Gomorras.
And what if Vladimir Putin read this report, and issued this order: "Get Clinton to piss them
all off." And so it was done: unbeknownst to her, using nefarious means, Hillary was programmed,
under hypnosis, to utter the phrase "a basket of deplorables." A Russian operative hiding in the
audience of LGBT activists flashed a sign triggering the program in Hillary's overworked brain, and
the rest is history. If that's what actually happened, then Putin should be pronounced Special Ops
Officer of the Year, while all the other "world leaders" should quietly sneak out the back entrance,
sit down on the ground in the garden and eat some dirt, then puke it up into their hands and rub
it into their eyes while wailing, because how on earth can they possibly ever hope to beat that?
Or we can just go back to my brain parasite theory. Doesn't it seem a whole lot more sane now?
Not only is it much simpler and more believable, but it also has certain predictive merits that the
"Russian hacking" theory lacks. You see, when there is parasitism involved, there is rarely just
one symptom. Usually, there is a whole cluster of symptoms. And so, just for the sake of comparison,
let's look at what has happened to the Ukraine since it was infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite,
and compare that to what is happening to the US now that the parasite has spread here too.
1. The Ukraine is ruled by an oligarch-Petro Poroshenko, the "candy king"-along with a clique
of other oligarchs who have been handed regional governorships and government ministries. And now
the US is about to be ruled by an oligarch-Trump, the "casino king"-along with a clique of other
oligarchs, from ExxonMobile to Goldman Sachs.
2. The Ukraine has repudiated its trade agreements with Russia, sending its economy into free-fall.
And now Trump is promising to repudiate, and perhaps renegotiate, a variety of trade agreements.
For a country that has run huge structural trade deficits for decades and pays for them by constantly
issuing debt this is not going to be easy or safe.
3. The Ukraine has been subjected to not one but two Color Revolutions, promoted by none other
than that odious oligarch George Soros. The US is now facing its own Color Revolution-the Purple
Revolution-paid for by that same Soros, with the goal of overturning the results of the presidential
election and derailing the inauguration of Donald Trump through a variety of increasingly desperate
ploys including paid-for demonstrations, vote recounts and attempts to manipulate the Electoral College.
4. For a couple of years now the Ukraine has been mired in a bloody and futile civil war. To this
day the Ukrainian troops (with NATO support) are lobbing missiles into civilian districts in the
east of the country, and getting decimated in return. So far, Trump's victory seems to have appeased
the "deplorables," but should the Purple Revolution succeed, the US may also see major social unrest,
possibly escalating into a civil war.
The Ukrainian Brain Parasite has devastated the Ukraine. It is by now too far gone for much of
anything to be done about it. All of the best people have left, mostly for Russia, and all that's
left is a rotten, hollow shell. But does it have to end this way for the US? I hope not!
There are, as I see it, two possibilities. One is to view those who are pushing the "Russian hacking"
or "Russian aggression" story as political adversaries. Another is to view them as temporarily mentally
ill. Yes, their brains are infected with the Ukrainian Brain Parasite, but that just means that their
opinions are to be disregarded-until they feel better. And since this particular brain parasite specifically
influences social behavior, if we refuse to reward that behavior with positive reinforcement-by acknowledging
it-we will suppress its most debilitating symptoms, eventually forcing the parasite to evolve toward
a more benign form. As with many infectious diseases, the fight against them starts with improved
hygiene-in this case, mental hygiene. And so that is my prescription: when you see someone going
on about "Russian hacking" or "Russian aggression" be merciful and charitable toward them as individuals,
because they are temporarily incapacitated, but do not acknowledge their mad ranting, and instead
try to coax them into learning to control it.
Whoa Dammit
King Tut
Dec 17, 2016 12:08 PM
ABC Baltimore link with full video of "Yo" tanker accident & other trucks
piling in / driving through the fire.
http://www.abc2news.com/news/region/baltimore-city/2-dead-in-tanker-cras...
Companies used to pull their trucks off the road, or allow driver
discretion to pull over, in bad weather. Not so much any more. Because
corporate profits 2 people died.
nmewn
King Tut
Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM
This just in from Fake Nuuuz Central:
Manmade globall warming
"triggers" 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker
truck!
Moar as it develops ;-)
Troy Ounce
nmewn
Dec 17, 2016 12:20 PM
No no no it is called global schwarming.
It is important to cover yourself on both sides: when it is cold and
when hot.
Never One Roach
Troy Ounce
Dec 17, 2016 12:22 PM
Plane loads of "therapy puppies" are being flown in to help assuage
the hurt New England snowflakes that are being "globally warmed" to
below freezing.
sudzee
Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM
Putin is responsible for this mess. Quick, time for more sanctions.
Still Losing Money
Dec 17, 2016 12:15 PM
so did the russians hack global warming?
Whoa Dammit
King Tut
Dec 17, 2016 12:08 PM
ABC Baltimore link with full video of "Yo" tanker accident & other trucks
piling in / driving through the fire.
http://www.abc2news.com/news/region/baltimore-city/2-dead-in-tanker-cras...
Companies used to pull their trucks off the road, or allow driver
discretion to pull over, in bad weather. Not so much any more. Because
corporate profits 2 people died.
nmewn
King Tut
Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM
This just in from Fake Nuuuz Central:
Manmade globall warming
"triggers" 55 progressive cars to ruthlessly attack defenseless fuel tanker
truck!
Moar as it develops ;-)
Troy Ounce
nmewn
Dec 17, 2016 12:20 PM
No no no it is called global schwarming.
It is important to cover yourself on both sides: when it is cold and
when hot.
Never One Roach
Troy Ounce
Dec 17, 2016 12:22 PM
Plane loads of "therapy puppies" are being flown in to help assuage
the hurt New England snowflakes that are being "globally warmed" to
below freezing.
sudzee
Dec 17, 2016 12:12 PM
Putin is responsible for this mess. Quick, time for more sanctions.
Still Losing Money
Dec 17, 2016 12:15 PM
so did the russians hack global warming?
Courtesy of williambazai7
GuardianFodder
->
noteasilyfooled
,
13 Dec 2016 18:55
Christmas cracker joke for you;
Q:
Why has there never been a coup in the US?
A: Because Washington doesn't have an American embassy....
Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
charles leseau
November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am
So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header
to Голый Капитализм for a bit?
a different chris
November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am
Oh I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)
fresno dan
November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am
Re: charles leseau,
November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am
I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..
pretzelattack
November 26, 2016 at 11:51 am
i don't think i've ever seen a moose or flying squirrel antidote. this proves the pernicious
russian influence.
petal
November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm
It's going to be a surprise and happen when everyone least expects it. Sneak attack by moose
and skwirral. Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being
taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing
it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!
pretzelattack
November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm
it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody
referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.
OIFVet
November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm
I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the
sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.
Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up
some establishment sphincters :)
ambrit
November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm
Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized"
as Stalin's News Organ!
Notable quotes:
"... I was thinking Natasha Fatale .. ..."
"... it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. ..."
"... I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up. ..."
"... Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up some establishment sphincters :) ..."
"... Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized" as Stalin's News Organ! ..."
charles leseau
November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am
So are you changing your name to Eva Smithova any time soon? Or maybe change the page header
to Голый Капитализм for a bit?
a different chris
November 26, 2016 at 10:37 am
Oh, I don't ask for much but please, please consider that! :) :) :)
fresno dan
November 26, 2016 at 11:22 am
Re: charles leseau,
November 26, 2016 at 5:36 am
I was thinking Natasha Fatale ..
petal
November 26, 2016 at 1:02 pm
... Anyway, concerned by number of supposedly educated friends(Clinton supporters) being
taken in by this fake news/Russian ties thing. They've lost their heads and there's no discussing
it with them, they are convinced. Where does it end? Na zdorovie!
pretzelattack
November 26, 2016 at 1:29 pm
it's truly amazing. many of these people have denounced joe mccarthy all their lives. somebody
referred to invasion of the body snatchers on nc the other day, that's the only logical explanation.
OIFVet
November 26, 2016 at 1:31 pm
I was thinking Katyusha. Besides being a very pretty diminutive name for Katherine, the
sound of the Katyusha rockets made the forces of evil's collective sphincter tighten up.
Just like the sound of the truth spoken to power here at NC is apparently tightening up
some establishment sphincters :)
ambrit
November 26, 2016 at 4:05 pm
Oh OIFVet, do you know where this line of snark is leading? Next, the NC will be "mischaracterized"
as Stalin's News Organ!
PavewayIV | Dec 3, 2016 2:02:30 PM |
12
Did anyone notice this?? This is serious as all hell! The U.S. House of Representatives just passed
H.R. 6393:
Intelligence Authorization Act for Fiscal Year 2017 This almost makes it sound like we are
at war with Israel! Here are some of the more outrageous parts:
Title V - Matters relating to foreign countries
Sec. 501. Committee to counter active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert
influence over peoples and governments.
- (a)Definitions - In this section:
- Active measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence. The
term active measures by Israel to exert covert influence means activities
intended to influence a person or government that are carried out in coordination with,
or at the behest of, political leaders or the security services of the State of Israel
and the role of Israel has been hidden or not acknowledged publicly,
including the following:
(A)Establishment or funding of a front group.
(B)Covert broadcasting.
(C)Media manipulation.
(D)Disinformation and forgeries.
(E)Funding agents of influence.
(F)Incitement and offensive counterintelligence.
(G)Assassinations.
(H)Terrorist acts.
- Appropriate committees of Congress
The term appropriate committees of Congress means
(A)the congressional intelligence committees;
(B)the Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Foreign Relations of the Senate;
and
(C)the Committee on Armed Services and the Committee on Foreign Affairs of the House of
Representatives.
- (b)Establishment
There is established within the executive branch an interagency committee to counter active
measures by the State of Israel to exert covert influence.
- (c)Membership
(1)In general
(A)Appointment
Each head of an agency or department of the United States Government set out under subparagraph
(B) shall appoint one member of the committee established by subsection (b) from among
officials of such agency or department who occupy a position that is required to be appointed
by the President, with the advice and consent of the Senate.
(B)Head of an agency or department
The head of an agency or department of the United States Government set out under this
subparagraph are the following:
(i)The Director of National Intelligence.
(ii)The Secretary of State.
(iii)The Secretary of Defense.
(iv)The Secretary of the Treasury.
(v)The Attorney General.
(vi)The Secretary of Energy.
(vii)The Director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation.
(viii)The head of any other agency or department of the United States Government designated
by the President for purposes of this section.
- (d)Meetings
The committee shall meet on a regular basis.
- (e)Duties
The duties of the committee established by subsection (b) shall be as follows:
(1)To counter active measures by Israel to exert covert influence, including
by exposing falsehoods, agents of influence, corruption, human rights abuses, terrorism,
and assassinations carried out by the security services or political elites of the
State of Israel or their proxies.
(2)Such other duties as the President may designate for purposes of this section.
- (f)Staff [...]
- (g)Budget request [...]
- (h)Annual report
- Requirement
Not later than 180 days after the date of the enactment of this Act, and annually thereafter,
and consistent with the protection of intelligence sources and methods, the committee established
by subsection (b) shall submit to the appropriate committees of Congress a report describing
steps being taken by the committee to counter active measures by Israel to
exert covert influence.
- Matters included
Each report under paragraph (1) shall include a summary of the following:
(A)Active measures by Israel to exert covert influence during the previous
year, including significant incidents and notable trends.
(B)Key initiatives of the committee.
(C)Implementation of the committee's initiatives by the heads of the agencies and departments
of the United States Government specified in subsection (c)(1)(B).
(D)Analysis of the success of such initiatives.
(E)Changes to such initiatives from the previous year.
- Separate reporting requirement
The requirement to submit an annual report under paragraph (1) is in addition to any other
reporting requirements with respect to Israel .
502.Limitation on travel of accredited diplomats and consulars of the State of Israel in
the United States from their diplomatic post
(a)Appropriate committees of Congress defined
In this section, the term appropriate committees of Congress means-
1. the congressional intelligence committees;
2. the Committee on Foreign Relations and the Committee on the Judiciary of the Senate; and
3. the Committee on Foreign Affairs and the Committee on the Judiciary of the House of Representatives.
(b)Quarterly limitation on travel distance Accredited diplomatic personnel and consulars of
the State of Israel in the United States may not be permitted to travel a distance
in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United States in a calendar quarter
unless, on or before the last day of the preceding calendar quarter, the Director of the Federal
Bureau of Investigation has certified in writing to the appropriate committees of Congress
that during the preceding calendar quarter the Bureau did not identify any violations by accredited
diplomatic personnel and consulars of the State of Israel of applicable requirements
to notify the United States Government in connection with travel by such diplomatic personnel
and consulars of a distance in excess of 25 miles from their diplomatic post in the United
States.
OK - I lied a little. The text of the bill is as reads above, but I have substituted the text
the State of Israel and Israel in place of the original text: the
Russian Federation and Russia . You see, some countries are more equal
than others. (Apologies to all the U.S. readers that thought "Well, it's about damn time!"
)
ALEPPO, Syria - In the midst of sectarian violence that has overtaken Syria for more than five
years, nine-year-old Asil Kassab is shocked by the defeat of Democratic presidential candidate
Hillary Clinton.
"I am so unhappy that a woman was not elected President," Asil said, briefly ducking as a bomb
from an American MQ-1 Predator drone leveled the hospital behind her. "Hillary Clinton is truly a
role model for young girls like me. I was so hoping that she'd be the one to order the drone
strike that would inevitably end my life."
Despite Clinton's support for regime change in Syria, leading to what is arguably one of the
greatest humanitarian crises of the early century, Kassab surprisingly says she holds no ill
will.
"I don't put much stock in the misogynist agenda of American politics," said Kassab, who, like
many children, cannot remember a time before the war that has killed 400,000 people, including
her family, and created over 4.7 million refugees. "People will always criticize her because she
is a woman in a man's world; One who has the audacity to run for President."
"It is sexism that motivates her critics, plain and simple," she added. "It is sexism, and
racism, that caused her to lose the election!"
... ... ...
It is January 20th, 2017. President Donald J. Trump is presiding over his very first meeting with
his national security team.
Trump : We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.
CIA : We cannot do that, sir. We created them.
Trump : The Democrats created them.
CIA : We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.
Trump : Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.
CIA : We can't do that.
Trump : Why is that?
CIA : India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.
Trump : I don't care.
CIA : India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower.
We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.
Trump : But you have to destroy the Taliban.
CIA : Sir, we can't do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they
are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.
Trump : We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the
Saudis.
Pentagon : Sir, we can't do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can't
have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil - and we cannot let their people own
it.
Trump : Then, let us invade Iran.
Pentagon : We cannot do that either, sir.
Trump : Why not?
CIA : We are talking to them, sir.
Trump : What? Why?
CIA : We want our Stealth Drones back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to
our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.
Trump : Then let us invade Iraq again.
CIA : Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.
Trump : Why not the whole of Iraq?
CIA : We need the Shi'ite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.
Trump : I am banning Muslims from entering the US.
Homeland Security : We can't do that.
Trump : Why not?
Homeland Security : Then our own population will stop fearing terrorism and be harder to control.
Trump : I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.
Border patrol : You can't do that, sir.
Trump : Why not?
Border patrol : If they're gone, who will build the wall?
Trump : I am banning H1B visas.
USCIS : You cannot do that.
Trump : Why?
Chief of Staff : If you do so, we'll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which
is in India.
Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???
CIA : Enjoy the White House, sir! We'll take care of the rest!
Anya2358
4d ago
17
18
More about Clinton and the Washington establishment than
Trump. Just as Brexit was about Wasteminster's Elitists
and not the EU. I saw wonderfully funny cartoons sent to
me by my American friends, the best one said:
Voting for an independent is like eating a salad,
it's the right thing to do, but will it really make
much difference. Voting for Trump is like eating a
spicy, greasy Burrito, fun at first, but then you have
to digest it. Voting for Clinton is like eating the
fork, and only a complete moron would do that.
frosty zoom
November 7, 2016 at 2:58 pm
If Hillary wins it must be a glitch in putin's ipad.
RabidGandhi
November 7, 2016 at 5:20 pm
He even changed all the clocks Saturday night. Is nothing sacred?
Notable quotes:
"... Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with minors. Bill must feel left out. ..."
Juillette
26m ago
Hillary is already surrounded by fbi investigations and a Weiner sex scandal with
minors. Bill must feel left out.
yianni
Juillette
20m ago
Ha ha ha, must be laugh a minute in your trailer.
Michael Hudson
July 1, 2016 at 3:52 pm
Imagine the SNL parody of Bubba meeting Lynch.
Lynch: How is your granddaughter Chelsea?
Bubba: She's fine. How are your grandkids?
Lynch: They're doing great too.
Bubba: Too bad if anything were to happen to them
Michael
Valentine
41 minutes ago
I understand she said something about being a steady hand at the time
of reckoning. Funny always thought of the anti Christ would be a man.
Does this make me sexist?
What the fuck is your problem, America??
I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane
network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides,
all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off your
asses one goddamn day in November.
"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and listen
for one fucking second...
But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped
the game decades ago.
A Hillary Clinton parody account on Medium wrote what the real Hillary Clinton has wanted to say
for a long time in an article titled "Let
Me Remind You Fuckers Who I Am." Here's a sample:
What the fuck is your problem, America??
I'm Hillary goddamn Clinton. I'm a political prodigy, have been since I was 16. I have an insane
network of powerful friends. I'm willing to spend the next eight years catching shit on all sides,
all so I can fix this fucking country for you. And all you little bitches need to do is get off
your asses one goddamn day in November.
"Oh but what about your eeeemaaaaillls???" Shut the fuck up. Seriously, shut the fuck up and
listen for one fucking second.
Here's all you need to know about me:
1. In 1992, I said I was proud to have followed my career instead of baking cookies.
2. The GOP
fucking dragged me for it. They
made me bake cookies. They're
scared of me.
3. Every time I have a job, y'all love me. Every time I run for anything, the GOP breaks out
the big guns again and fucks me up good. And apparently it fucking works.
But you know what? I don't fucking care. If I gave two shits about the haters I would've dropped
the game decades ago.
Moscow Exile
,
July 26, 2016 at 9:17 am
Russians take performance enhancing drugs: Americans don't!!!
Sean
Anthony Dylan
3h ago 0 1 From Twitter, but so true:
Donald Trump answers the question 'what is 2+2?': "I have to say a lot of people
have been asking this question. No, really. A lot of people come up to me, and
they ask me. They say, 'What's 2+2'? And I tell them, look, we know what 2+2
is.
We've had almost eight years of the worst kind of math you can imagine.
Oh, my God, I can't believe it. Addition and subtraction of the 1s the 2s and
the 3s. It's terrible. It's just terrible. Look, if you want to know what 2+2
is, do you want to know what 2+2 is? I'll tell you. First of all the number
2, by the way, I love the number 2. It's probably my favorite number, no it
is my favorite number. You know what, it's probably more like the number two
but with a lot of zeros behind it. A lot. If I'm being honest, I mean, if I'm
being honest. I like a lot of zeros.
Except for Marco Rubio, now he's a zero that I don't like. Though, I probably
shouldn't say that. He's a nice guy, but he's like, '10101000101,' on and on,
like that. He's like a computer! You know what I mean? He's like a computer.
I don't know. I mean, you know. So, we have all these numbers, and we can add
them and subtract them and add them. TIMES them even. Did you know that?
We can times them OR divide them, they don't tell you that, and I'll tell
you, no one is better at the order of operations than me. You wouldn't believe
it. So, we're gonna be the best on 2+2, believe me."
Reply
Report
BG
Davis
Sean Anthony Dylan , 2016-03-08 17:42:31
Priceless! Next stop, Saturday Night Live or similar.
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