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So they demand that they outsource it to the private sector, which means all kinds of extra overhead. Private contractors, being driven by the profit motive, will turn in crappy work unless you spend huge amounts of effort clarifying precisely what's required, followed by meetings to ensure that they have done it. Just the product spec meeting cost more than the time spent actually doing it. All because the Government is Bad.
itwbennett writes "How much does it cost to make a phone app to tell local temperature and suggest how not to get heatstroke, such as drink water and avoid alcohol? If you're the U.S. Government, it'll cost you a pretty penny. Using MuckRock to file a Freedom of Information Act, Rich Jones of GUN.IO discovered the Department of Labor, Occupational Safety and Health Administration paid $106,467 for the Android version; $96,000 for the iPhone version, and an additional $40,000 for a BlackBerry app that never got distributed."
ShavedOrangutan
It was actually $467 for the Android version
... plus $106,000 for change management.
mwvdlee:
You know as well as I do that you can't function as a developer unless you spend at least half your day reporting progress to management. If the six layers of management above you don't know what you're doing, how could you?
Samantha:
Summary can't add
The iPhone version was $56,000. The Blackberry version was $40,000. Together, they were $96,000. It says this very clearly in the original scan.
dredwerker
The iPhone version was $56,000. The Blackberry version was $40,000. Together, they were $96,000. It says this very clearly in the original scan.
It doesn't sound that much once you have dealt with specs and tenders with govt orgs.
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September 23, 2011
Dmitry
Just another useful idiot head of a G7 country… The US, Italy, France, Germany, now the UK… Which states are NOT ruled by useful idiots, LR, "Kosovo", probably? Why don't you emigrate?
Commissar Julia Joffe
What you don't understand, because you are an idiotic Russian, is a little thing we have in the West called an election. Where we live, unlike your sad, frozen little prison, we can throw out the useful idiots and replace them with brilliant heroes, like Ronald Reagan for example. Today a useful idiot, tomorrow John McCain. Who knows, maybe one day Russians will get grown up and civilized enough to try it for themselves.
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October 31, 2011 | naked capitalism
Cynthia:
There once was a prick named Corzine
His firm looked sick but he said it was fine
Then he finally went broke
Client funds went up in smoke
With any luck he'll be doing some time
H/T: Red Pill at Zero Hedge
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The Onion
WASHINGTON-A team of leading archaeologists announced Monday they had uncovered the remains of an ancient job-creating race that, at the peak of its civilization, may have provided occupations for hundreds of thousands of humans in the American Northeast and Midwest.According to researchers, these long- forgotten people once flourished between western New York state and Illinois, erecting highly distinctive steel and brick structures wherever they went, including many buildings thought to have held hundreds of paid workers at a time.
"It's truly fascinating-after spending a certain number of hours performing assigned tasks, the so-called 'employees' at such facilities would receive monetary compensation that allowed them to support themselves and their families," said archaeologist Alan H. Mueller, citing old ledgers and time-keeping devices unearthed at excavation sites in the region. "In fact, this practice seems to have been the norm for their culture, which consisted of advanced tool users capable of exploiting their skills to produce highly valued goods and services."
"It's a complex and intriguing set of rituals we're still trying to fully understand," Mueller added. "But it appears as if their entire society was centered around creating, out of thin air, actual jobs that paid an actual living wage."
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The Onion - America's Finest News Source
In the 800-page volume, titled O Say Have I Seen: The Real Truth Behind The Red, White, And Blue, the president renders in explicit detail numerous shocking revelations about the United States, including its inability to manage its finances, its struggles with oil addiction, its willful ignorance of the issues that affect it most deeply, and its frequent battles with obesity.
"Anyone with even a passing interest in the nation is going to want to read all the juicy tidbits the president offers up here," publicist Armand Neal said of the book that draws from Obama's firsthand experiences as well as candid conversations with millions of U.S. insiders. "Nobody has had as much firsthand access to America's demons as the president, and he dishes dirt on everything from the nation's self-destructive, codependent relationship with the pharmaceutical industry to its habit of repeatedly borrowing and spending its way into massive amounts of debt. I promise you, he spills everything-everything-about the United States."
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Economistsview
Suzy Khimm poses a question to the Perry campaign:
1) How will the new tax breaks for the wealthy be paid for?Per e the necessary revenue to balance the budget by 2020.So the tax cuts will pay for themselves? Greg Mankiw:
I used the phrase "charlatans and cranks" in the first edition of my principles textbook to describe some of the economic advisers to Ronald Reagan, who told him that broad-based income tax cuts would have such large supply-side effects that the tax cuts would raise tax revenue. I did not find such a claim credible, based on the available evidence. I never have, and I still don't.
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Delong blog
Eric Boehlert:
Twitter: @EricBoehlert Eric Boehlert:
great job Boehner: 71% of Americans don't think GOP has clear plan to create jobs; http://nyti.ms/udVDyp
[But this means that 29% of Americans are completely bonkers...]
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The Chronicle of Higher Education
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The Rude Pundit
... ... ...
- We can say, with certainty, that certain executives in various firms were responsible either directly for or directed others to engage in the reckless investment schemes that resulted in firms going bankrupt or in need of a bailout from the federal government. Under this condition, we can target [name redacted] of [firm redacted] who concealed $50 billion in loans in order to inflate the firm's value while at the same time personally taking several hundred million dollars in compensation. We know this occurred. We have evidence that it occurred. We know that [redacted]'s actions, in part, led directly to the financial crisis of 2008-2009.
- If the targeted killing of American citizens is justified in our ongoing war with terrorists above and beyond any previous congressional authorization, and if the military has previously been involved in the ongoing war on drugs, then we can say with confidence that the proposed targeted attacks on financial executives falls under the purview of the "War on Poverty," which was declared by President Lyndon Johnson in 1964 and which, like the ten-year war on terrorists and the forty-year war on drugs, has not been successfully concluded. This might seem to strain legal justification, but we are talking about criminals who have done grievous harm to the nation.
... ... ...
The total use of Predator drones against financial industry executives would most likely be minimal. After several strikes, we anticipate that others will turn themselves in to authorities for prosecution out of fear for their lives.
... ... ...
Respectfully submitted,
[name redacted]
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April 28, 2010 | Zed244's Blog
In the left-hand-side column you find a translation of the original Moral Code of The Builder of Communism [1] which you can compare with the newly formulated Code on the right hand side. With this arrangement the unquestionable superiority of the latter can be clearly seen and appreciated. For non-monolingual people – ref. [2] contains the original text of the Code in Russian.
PS. On a (slightly) more serious note – I am not a communist, have never been one and most likely will never be – because I haven't yet met sufficiently large number of people ready to live strictly by the rules in the left-hand-side column above. "Sufficiently large" – to form a party, that's it. Perhaps, this shortage was the reason why the "communism" as economic system had never worked as intended. But neither did pure ("wild") capitalism – as Russian experience of 90s demonstrated all too clearly.
Moral Code of the Builder of Communism Moral Code of the Builder of Capitalism 1. Devotion to the cause of Communism, love of the socialist Motherland and of the socialist countries. Devotion to the cause of capitalism, love of the capitalist Motherland and of the other capitalist countries. 2. Conscientious labor for the good of society: he who does not work, neither shall he eat. Conscientious effort to obtain a direct government assistance, the government contracts or any other form of public money: those who don't receive government funds, will only find themselves funding the government. 3. Concern on the part of everyone for the preservation and growth of public property. Concern on the part of everyone else for the preservation and growth of public property by them for you to use 4. High sense of public duty; intolerance of actions harmful to the public interest. High sense of capitalistic public duty and sanctity of (your) private property; intolerance of actions by others harmful to your private business interests. 5. Collectivism and comradely mutual assistance: one for all and all for one. Individualism and readiness to fight for your piece of pie: each one for himself, against everyone. Remember: the only goal of any business is to make the owner richer than other people, so the others might be permitted to benefit only if it cannot be avoided. 6. Humane relations and mutual respect between individuals: man is to man a friend Show humility and do respect the potential strength of others – up until you have measured them up: human humanum lupus est. Remember: competition is the primary driving force of capitalism. Elimination of the competition is the fastest road to your financial success. 7. Honesty and truthfulness, moral purity, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life. Public display of appearance of honesty and truthfulness, libertarian moral purity Friedman-style, unpretentiousness and modesty in social and private life (so as not to disturb the plebs too much). 8. Mutual respect in the family, concern for the upbringing of children. Mutual respect in the own family – proportional to the individual contributions to the family budget, concern for the upbringing of your own children in accordance with this code. Remember that your family are just people – they are as much after your money as anyone else. 9. Irreconcilability towards injustice, parasitism, dishonesty, careerism, and profiteering. Irreconcilability towards unjust distribution of unearned income to others, including social benefits. Fight dishonesty, careerism and all other attempts of profiteering by hired labor force. 10. Friendship and brotherhood among all peoples of the USSR, intolerance of national and racial hatred. If and when – and only if & when – this helps your business – open and public display of friendship and brotherhood among all people, intolerance of national and racial hatred. In other cases you will be a fool not to use such inexpensive tool as racism to efficiently reduce the cost of hired labor. 11. Intolerance towards the enemies of communism, peace, and freedom of nations. Intolerance towards the enemies of capitalism, enemies of peace (if you are not in defense industry) and enemies of the freedom of other nations to follow your nation's understanding of economic liberty principles appropriate for them. 12. Fraternal solidarity with the working people of all countries, and with all peoples. Fraternal solidarity with capitalists of all countries up until you see a chance to rip them off dry.
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Zed244's
this is not written by zed244 - it is a translation of the text in Russian at http://www.avanturist.org/blog/post/28 . More of the same author here http://tinyurl.com/43b9pmy (in Russian) – highly recommended.
For those who want a touch of reality – as of 21 of September 2011 – it is here
Quote"..To support a stronger economic recovery and to help ensure that inflation, over time, is at levels consistent with the dual mandate, the Committee decided today to extend the average maturity of its holdings of securities. The Committee intends to purchase, by the end of June 2012, $400 billion of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 6 years to 30 years and to sell an equal amount of Treasury securities with remaining maturities of 3 years or less.."
Let say we – I, You and Chronoscopist – were on a plane across the Pacific Ocean. While on board, we consumed substantial amount of absinthe, kicked up a row and in the process tore off a door to the toilet. For our noble deeds we were promptly thrown out of the plane via emergency exit. Luckily, next to where we plunged into the water, was a small nameless Polynesian island. After we climbed on its soil, we held a short council and decided to name the island The United States of Absinthe (USA).
Naturally, when we were thrown out of the plane, they forgot to return us our luggage. As the result, all our tangible and intangible assets consisted of the toilet door, which You forgot to leave on the plane and a single $100 note which You discovered in your wallet. Thus all non-financial assets of our USA consist of one toilet door, and all financial, aka "money supply", of a single $100 note. This is all our country has. Since we have nothing else, it can also be said that our material assets – the toilet door, supports (secures) the money supply of $100. Or, in other words, our door costs $100.
Still under the influence of absinth, we decide that we need to start getting the things organised. The Chronoscopist, proved to be the shrewdest – he announces that he opened a bank and is ready to accept deposits from the island's population and promises to pay 3% interest annually. You give him your $100 and he writes it under "Liabilities" -> "Deposit Accounts" in his book.
But I am too not just out of the woods – indeed, after so many years I spent investigating economic swindles, I now know how to expropriate your door and your $100. I offer You 5% interest on your $100. I tear off a sheet of paper from my notebook and write "Bond Certificate of USA. Issued for the amount $100 at 5% interest, paid annually". You feel that You have drawn a full hand. You withdraw your money from the deposit account You have with the disappointed Chronoscopist and give it to me in exchange for my Bond. I take your $100 and immediately deposit it into my account with now smiling Chronoscopist.
Ideally, we could have stopped right here and then, and start doing something real, say, shake the palm tree or try to collect shell fish – to eat our bread in the sweat of our faces, so-to-speak. But you all know that I am indefatigable financial genius, and I am not interested in the petty things such as coconuts and oysters. After a refreshing tour of our island – 50 steps from South to North and 30 from West to East, I invent an ingenuous combination. I approach You and offer You to earn an additional 1% annually. You should take a loan in Chronoscopist's bank at 4% and use it to buy from me another USA Bond at 5% interest. This second Bond Certificate for $100 I have just written, and now I wave it in front of your nose. Immediately You rush to the bank and borrow $100 there, using my first Bond as a security. The Bank has the money – I put it there on my deposit account. You give me the $100 You have borrowed and put the second USA Security Bond into your wallet. Now You have $200 worth of USA Bonds. I put $100 in the Bank – now I have $200 on my deposit account. Chronoscopist jumps from joy – his credit business is growing up!
Do you really think I am going to stop there? Hold your horses – I have already written a third USA Bond for You. You rush to the Bank to borrow another $100, secured this time with my second Bond. Closer to the night, got tired of running around the island with this single $100 note and having used all pages in my diary to write USA Bonds, we have the following results: You have $5,000 worth of USA Bonds, while I have $5,000 deposited on my account.
Now I feel that this is the right time to expropriate your toilet door. I offer to buy it from You for $100. But You do not want to sell the only toilet door on the island for $100 and ask $1,000. Well, I agree – after all I have $5,000 on my deposit account. I use the last page left in my diary to write a Payment Order to Chronoscopist to transfer $1,000 from my account to yours – and take your door.
If this accounting is given to an American economist, he or she will inform you that our USA had $1,000 in assets in the form of toilet door and $10,000 financial assets in bank deposits and USA Bonds. Which means that our combined wealth increased 110 fold in one day. Well, a less refined and educated observer, might say that we are the three idiots, because by the end of the day we still have nothing but the same one toilet door and $100, and that only complete imbeciles could have spent the whole day tearing sheets out of their diaries to write nonsense, instead of collecting coconuts or shell fish. Who of the two is correct –you, the Reader, should decide yourself.
2008
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naked capitalism
Per Yasha Levine and Ames in the Nation:IHS vice president George Pearson (who later became a top Koch Industries executive) responded three weeks later, conceding that it was all but impossible to arrange affordable private medical insurance for Hayek in the United States. However, thanks to research by Yale Brozen, a libertarian economist at the University of Chicago, Pearson happily reported that "social security was passed at the University of Chicago while you [Hayek] were there in 1951. You had an option of being in the program. If you so elected at that time, you may be entitled to coverage now."
A few weeks later, the institute reported the good news: Professor Hayek had indeed opted into Social Security while he was teaching at Chicago and had paid into the program for ten years. He was eligible for benefits. On August 10, 1973, Koch wrote a letter appealing to Hayek to accept a shorter stay at the IHS, hard-selling Hayek on Social Security's retirement benefits, which Koch encouraged Hayek to draw on even outside America.
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The American Congress (Parliament) a den of thieves, megalomaniacs and jackarses as the world has rarely seen, except maybe in the final days of the Roman Senate, are about to help their owners, the super bankers, to become the biggest owners of improved property, in the world.
How is this?
Very easy. The American government organizations of HUD, Fanni Mae and Freddie Mac have become the primary owners of the vast majority of American "distress" property.
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September 9th, 2011
The ever ironic former Fed Chairman Alan Greenspan on whether government intervention can create moral hazard:
"There were unintended consequences to almost every action I was involved in" as Fed chairman, said Mr. Greenspan, who himself cut interest rates to help stave off a bond-market crisis in 1998, and later was accused of helping inflate the stock bubble of the late 1990s. "If we anticipated the unintended consequences that were going to happen we might have changed the policy," he said, but he added that it is impossible to forecast all the consequences of government action.
Please make it stop . . .
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August 12th, 2011
From John DeFeo at TheStreet.com, comes these 10 Myths That Politicians Want You to Believe (but you shouldn't)
10. Quantitative Easing Helps the Economy
Yes, quantitative easing is "printing" money. No, it won't help the economy. Make no mistake, quantitative easing is a gift to bankers and nothing else. The Federal Reserve is giving bankers risk-free trading profits and causing food and gas prices to surge (making it even harder for Americans to get out of debt).9. Republicans Are Fiscal Conservatives
From 1946-2010:Democratic President
* Total Years: 29
* Average Inflation Adjusted Deficit: $150.73 billionRepublican President
* Total Years: 36
* Average Inflation Adjusted Deficit: $202.28 billion8. President Obama Is an Enemy of Wall Street
* The two men who served as principal negotiators for banking deregulation: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.
* The two men who President Obama appointed to become his top economic advisers: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.
* Two guys who happen to be paid millions of dollars in consulting and speaking fees by "too big to fail" banks: Gene Sperling and Larry Summers.7. The Financial System Is Safer Today Than in 2008
The majority of "too big to fail" banks are even bigger. Meanwhile, high-frequency trading is alive and well and the causes of the Flash Crash have not been addressed.6. The 'Bush Tax Cuts' Increased Tax Revenue
Washington has always had a spending problem, but since the "Bush Tax Cuts," we have a revenue problem as well. From 1990 to 2000, U.S. tax revenue had a period of exceptional growth. Following the 2001 tax cuts, revenue plummeted - then recovered - then plummeted again.5. 'No One' Could Have Seen the Financial Crisis Coming
No one - except for everyone who did. TheStreet has interviewed numerous economists and money managers who have been pounding the table for years.4. If You Support Capitalism, You Support Big Business
Can a corporation be socialist? Corporations and governments are very similar entities, and both can have capitalist or socialist leanings. If a politician praises big business while chastising big government, or the other way around, be skeptical.3. Republicans Are a Bunch of Fat-Cat Millionaires
The average congressperson is a millionaire, and if you break down the 50 richest members of Congress by political party, here's the split:
Republican: 22
Democrat: 282. The U.S. Has the Highest Standard of Living in the World
According to the United Nations' most recent Human Poverty Index (from 2008), the U.S. standard of living ranks 17 of 19 among developed countries. The ranking is a composite of life expectancy, literacy, long-term unemployment and income equality - while this data is over three years old, it's not unthinkable that our situation has worsened in the aftermath of the Great Recession.1. U.S. GDP Is Growing
U.S. GDP has increased by 4.26% from 2007 to 2010, according to data compiled by the U.S. Bureau of Economic Analysis. In the same period of time, the U.S. national debt has increased by 61.6%, according to the U.S. Treasury. Looking at these numbers, you don't need to be an economist to see that something is very, very wrong.
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August 11, 2011 | The Big Picture
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Peter Barnes "Is there a risk that the United States could lose its AAA credit rating? Yes or no?"
Geithner's response: "No risk of that."
"No risk?" Barnes asked.
"No risk," Geithner said.
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Dreiser
"The Night of The Living Dead"- 1969 movie, the Zombies were a metaphor for the implosion of American capitalism, the cannibalism was a metaphor for a society...
Although zombie cannibals were inspired by Matheson's I Am Legend, film historian Robin Wood sees the flesh-eating scenes of Night of the Living Dead as a late-1960s critique of American capitalism.
Wood asserts that the zombies represent capitalists, and "cannibalism represents the ultimate in possessiveness, hence the logical end of human relations under capitalism." He argues that the zombies' victims symbolized the repression of "the Other" in bourgeoisie American society, namely civil rights activists, feminists, homosexuals and counterculturalists in general"..
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August 2, 2011 | naked capitalism
Max424
The Dow is down 265.87. What's up with that?
Maybe it just dawned on Mr. Market; if everybody is busted, including Mother Milk Cow,* there will be no one left to rob.
And if Mr. Market can't rob, he can't gamble, and if he can't gamble, he gets depressed.
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In answer to the generic question regarding President Obama's actions regarding the debt ceiling, I am re-posting this from 2/25/09. In comments of the original I stated that cutting the deficit by 1/2 seemed to "optimistic" for me.
***************************Ok, here are my basic issues with the substance of President Obama's speech. First, may I remind everyone
that as of 11/08 I declared my divorce successful. Has it become my mission accomplish moment?I heard this:
"And we will expand our commitment to charter schools. but as a father when I say that responsibility for our children's education must begin at home."And thought: 2 tier education system/vouchers, no thank you. Education begins at home when home means one parent has the time to spend at home oppose to both working.I heard this:
"And we must also begin a conversation on how to do the same for Social Security, while creating tax-free universal savings accounts for all Americans."And thought: Are you freak'n kidding me! In this time of financial collapse we're still going to talk about turning an insurance for the masses against the follies of finance into some form to include finance? The entire reason we want to create jobs is because we have suddenly realized that the vast, vast majority do not earn their money from money. Tax free? Has he not heard of 401K, IRA and all it's versions, HSA, higher education accounts? Italy?I heard this:
"Yesterday, I held a fiscal summit where I pledged to cut the deficit in half by the end of my first term in office."And thought: Yeah, how'd that work for the last administration who made such a declaration? Did he have to say "in half"? Has his advisors not taught him about the blip during the FDR recovery? Only one way I can think of doing this: Raise taxes where the money is and whack the defense budget in half and I mean take a swipe at all moneys related to security. Are we really $1 trillion dollars worth of paranoid?
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08/01/2011
Three weeks ago Putin called Bernanke a hooligan. Since that remark came from the (allegedly) largest oil producing country in the world, it provoked nary a peep from America's foreign department. Today, he decided to ratchet up the rhetoric, and in a speech to a Kremlin youth group told his listeners what the bulk of the rest of the world thinks of America: ""They are living beyond their means and shifting a part of the weight of their problems to the world economy," Putin told a Kremlin youth group while touring its summer camp north of Moscow. "They are living like parasites off the global economy and their monopoly of the dollar."" Russia has not made its distrust of America clear in the past, and while others (ahem China) have been jawboning about selling Treasurys even as they continue buying US one-ply paper, Russia has been actively dumping its Treasury paper to the lowest in years. The reason for the unprovoked outburst? The insanity in Congress. "Thank god," Putin said, "that they had enough common sense and responsibility to make a balanced decision." The former KGBer's solution? Other, and more deserving, reserve currencies.
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angrybearblog.com
Mark Thoma, who supported (and probably voted for) the man during the primaries, is much more gracious than I am:A vague promise from Democrats about the future is all but worthless right now, we've had too many promises broken already. Obama's promises in particular mean nothing.The nicest thing I can do is describe this as BarryO's "Only Nixon could go to China moment." ...Obama's version is selling out Democrats and Middle-Class and Aspiring Middle-Class Americans....Democrats may still run someone against Obama from the left, though Timothy McVeigh is unavailable.
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GlenD:The fact that we are here today to debate raising America's debt limit is a sign of leadership failure. It is a sign that the U.S. Government can't pay its own bills. It is a sign that we now depend on ongoing financial assistance from foreign countries to finance our Government's reckless fiscal policies.America's debt weakens us domestically and internationally. Leadership means that ''the buck stops here.'' Instead, Washington is shifting the burden of bad choices today onto the backs of our children and grandchildren. America has a debt problem and a failure of leadership. Americans deserve better.
I therefore intend to oppose the effort to increase America's debt limit."
U.S. Senator Barack Obama (3/16/2006)
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YouTube
freedombase:
the Tea Party will defeat you muslim terrorist Jew Killing Socialist thugs and this Bartlett is nothing but a TRAITOR like Benedict Arnold
@wittumy
Bartlett is a Anti American bastard who backs the Muslim terrorist Obama and Hates Capitalism.
Reagan would have? told this Bartlett that he was nothing but a TRAITORthe man is a Kooky liberal who backs Nazi Anti Semite High taxes and Hates America
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A song by Merle Hazard and his band. Lyric here:
http://www.merlehazard.com/Merle_Hazard/DOUBLE_DIPPIN.htmlBBC World Service coverage:
http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/p009c5z4The roller coaster occupants during the guitar solo (1:39) are FDR, John Maynard Keynes, Paul Krugman, and Benoit Mandelbrot, followed by Merle and his band.
That's Hazard with a "z" (not Haggard with a "gg").
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Consider, for a second, a quick list of characteristics of mind control techniques that cults use:"Studies performed by those who believe that some religious groups do practice mind control have identified a number of key steps in coercive persuasion:[31][32]Let's go through each one by one.
- People are put in physical or emotionally distressing situations;
- Their problems are reduced to one simple explanation, which is repeatedly emphasized;
- They receive unconditional love, acceptance, and attention from a charismatic leader or group;
- They get a new identity based on the group;
- They are subject to entrapment (isolation from friends, relatives and the mainstream culture) and their access to information is severely controlled.[33]"
- People are put in physically or emotionally distressing situations. Does the edifice of modern-day finance put people in emotionally and physically distressing situations--moreso than they have to be, to amplify the stakes? In fact, it puts entire nations and regions in them--just ask Europe, America, or China. The cries of "Panic!! Armageddon!!" that every minor question or challenge to the cult of finance are met with are a form of inflicting distress--as are the constant looming threats that "the markets" will eternally, hellishly punish those who fail the test of virtue.
- Problems are reduced to one simple explanation, repeatedly emphasized. Does the monolith of modern-day finance reduce problems to one simple explanation, repeatedly emphasized? Sure: it's the idea that I've called financial determinism--that through unfettered financialization (read: bigger banks, funds, faster trades, more intense buying and selling of paper) the world's challenges can be surmounted, and humanity's biggest problems solved--and that conversely, without hyperfinancialization, humanity has little chance at prosperity. Simply put: more finance, good. Less finance, bad. Would that the world were so naively simplistic.
- They receive unconditional love from a charismatic leader. One word: Geithner. Kidding aside, the point is: the cult of finance has a set of leaders--leaders who show cult members a level of unconditional love that's truly breathtaking, that makes religious cult leaders look like misers. Bailout after bailout after bailout for blowing up entire economies? Now that's unconditional love.
- They get a new identity based on the group. Does modern-day finance create "a new identity based on the group"? I think so. Once you're a member of the cult of finance, the kid gloves come on. You're essentially above the law, beyond the state, and through the looking glass. And I'd guess that might be behind the curiously overweening sense of power most of the members of this cult display: the off-the-cuff remarks that bank chiefs make, for example, that are farcically absurd (when they're not savagely dehumanizing)--like Lloyd Blankfein's famous claim that Goldman Sachs is just "doing God's work".
- They are subject to entrapment, and their access to information is severely controlled. Does modern-day finance create situations of entrapment, and control access to information? Of course--it's entire "business model", as anyone who's spent more than a day or two inside an "investment bank" is premised on hoarding, restricting, limiting, and squeezing information--and so literally keeping nations and corporations, CEOs and prime ministers in the dark. This point is indisputable, given the steep rise over the last few decades in revenues from trading--and the not-so-secret secret that much of that trading revenue is based upon a whisper circuit of quasi-insider info. The cult of finance is premised fundamentally on sophisticated tools to erect barriers to information at every pass--that's exactly what shadow banking is.
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July 19, 2011
Horrible Bosses Scotland Yard doesn't consider the death of the News of the World whistleblower suspicious, and Rupert Murdoch and his son appear before Parliament.
Fox Tool Channel. Did you notice in that clip of Murdoch his hair(what's left of it) was jet black? Two years later it's now white. Must be the stress.
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Sandwichman:No, no, no. America doesn't need a third party. It needs a third AND a fourth party. The Inane Party and the Insane Party.
The Inane Party will be for war, the plutocracy, a police state and abortion rights.
The Insane Party will be for war, the plutocracy, a police state and gun rights.
Only when those two new parties join the fray will the American voter have a real choice.
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I tried repeatedly to surrender to the House GOP, but they wouldn't take even my most abject surrender. I have summoned them back to the White House tomorrow morning in another attempt to force them to accept it. If worst comes to worst, and they will not accept my surrender, I am prepared to accept theirs, but I really don't like it, and will use the opportunity to campaign against Democratic values in the next election.
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naked capitalism
ambrit:
Cugel:...If 'they' put the same 'gang that couldn't shoot straight' in charge as they did in Iraq, we're in for a very bumpy ride. Snark says: "I'm in Awe of the American Shock Doctrine."
..give them a few extra weeks and they'll come to agreement over the corpse of the New Deal.
Robert Asher:
Middle Seaman:...Look at the reluctance of the European narco dealers (I mean banks of course) who are unwilling to take a loss after the people they addicted cannot afford more drugs.
ambrit...It is clear to me that Obama's bosses, i.e. the rich, will not let the country descend into chaos; it's way too costly for them.
Mr Seaman;
Sorry to quibble, but your comment on the 'elites' thinking gives them a bit too much credit for breadth of vision and foresight. E
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- 2008: At his first press conference since being elected President, Barack Obama spoke about new job numbers and steps the government can take to help our struggling economy President-Elect Barack Obama on American Jobs
- 2012: At his last press conference ex-President, Barack Obama spoke about new job numbers and steps the new government can take to help our struggling economy
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frank1569
Remember Sen Durbin's bottom line truth: 'And, frankly, they own the place.'
'They' being Big Bankster and their Big Everything Else Corporate Partners; 'the place' being the government of the United States of America.
Obama is nothing more than an employee of 'the place.' Employees do what they're told or they're fired.
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July 3, 2011 | naked capitalism
looter:
Is the Parthenon available? I've always had a keen desire to own an authentic Greek temple. It sure would look swell in my back yard.
Sufferin' Succotash:
I'll take Delphi myself. I've always wanted to have my very own private prophet.
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What is called "Households and non-profits" is probably "Robber barons and non-profits" aka top 1% of the US population.
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Economist's View
Seth:
"...President Obama convened two dozen Wall Street executives, many of them longtime donors, in the White House's Blue Room."
This lede needs a rewrite. A truer version would read:The CEO brought in to manage the leveraged buyout of CSB Corp (Corporate States of Banking, formerly USA) held a meeting of outside directors in the White House's Blue Room. Suspected at times of excessive sympathy with the employees affected by restructuring plans which include extensive layoffs and termination of pension and health benefits (aka 'entitlements'), Mr. Obama sought to reassure investors in the deal of his commitment to delivering a quick return on their capital.
Most of this capital was provided in the form of subprime CDO collateral during the famous TARP bailout, and has itself been described (by anonymous sources, concerned for their safety) as of 'questionable quality'. But the outside directors who assembled in the White House have denounced these criticisms as 'scurrilous'.
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May 18, 2011 naked capitalism
FatCat:
I'm safe too. I am THE oligarchic fat cat. The system works for ME. This is oligarch nation now! This MY world now! So bow down before me, you peasants! I foreclosed on your homes, I'll cut your grandma's medicare, I'll privatize your social security, and I am going to make all of you MY serfs.
Is that clear?!
FatCat!
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Prankster and humorist P..J. O'Rourke has fooled the Weekly Standard into printing a savage takedown of the conservative movement, masquerading as a takedown of liberalism. Democrats, O'Rourke writes, are nihilists with no interest in passing good legislation.They don't just hate our Republican, conservative, libertarian, strict constructionist, family values guts. They hate everybody's guts. And they hate everybody who has any. Democrats hate men, women, blacks, whites, Hispanics, gays, straights, the rich, the poor, and the middle class.
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May 03, 2011 | The Nation
jedi_mindtrick
I imagined aloud that Obama was going to immediately step back to the mike, after having seemingly finished, to throw in an, "Oh, by the way, I've officially shut down Guantanamo Bay for good, and as of today, the War on Terror is officially declared "won", ALL of our troops and "contractors" are on their way home as I speak, Bradley Manning has been freed on his own recognizance, and the NSA and CIA have been shut down and their personnel are being reassigned to a brand new Wall Street and Washington Ethics Police Force. That is all. Good night, and God bless America."
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"So it's not a war; it's a kinetic military action that is time-limited and contribution-limited on the front end."
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March 22, 2011 | The Big Picture
bocon007:
It's all so obvious, BR.
Blitzer and Robertson just don't love freedom.
Either Sarah Palin with her sensitive Libya contacts, or a local Tea Party chapter there in Tripoli, keeps the Fox News journalists informed of all the facts they could ever need.
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03/22/2011
Evidently, the Teleprompter in Chief has finally surmised that it is not a good idea to go on a state vacation the same time you decide to wage a new war, the third largest world economy and a key ally is in the middle of a Level 5 nuclear disaster and epic natural catastrophe and your Ponzi reserve currency is in a tailspin.
This being so, our second highest priest (behind his Hindmost Bernanke) has decided to cut his Latin American vacation stop in El Salvador short by two whole hours according to Reuters.
But before he departs, he will be able to skype a conference call with his national security team, consult some replica Mayan doomsday calendars and dress in traditional highly priestly garb.
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March 15, 2011
"As they prepare to wage political war against President Obama, the potential 2012 Republican candidates are doing everything they can to draw sharp distinctions with him.
But Mr. Obama isn't cooperating.
Rather than emphasize his differences with potential Oval Office rivals or Republican adversaries on Capitol Hill, the president is taking every opportunity he can to embrace members of the other party as co-conspirators in his efforts to confront the country's challenges.
According to Mr. Obama, the two parties have cooperated -- or are showing signs of being willing to work together -- on education reform, tax cuts, energy security, economic growth and potential changes to an entitlement system that has become a drain on the nation's budget."
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March 19, 2011 | naked capitalism
Wile E. Capote:
I don't mind getting cancer to support the expediency of U.S. corporations' quarterly profits. It's getting cancer from Japanese radiation leaked due to their corrupt practices that I object to.
DownSouth:
"…we require several orders of magnitude improvement in design if it's going to be possible at all to have nuclear power with acceptable risks…"
Improvement in design of nuclear power plants, or of human beings?
Trust me, guys like Bush and Obama and their corporate masters could f_ck up a crowbar.
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Jill Anne, a store owner in New York City pole dances in her store and claims business is better than ever.In a small room in lower Manhattan, the boots come off, the pole is prepared, the music comes on, and the show begins.
The place is far from a strip club or porn shop. Anne is a greeting card store owner.
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Republican US presidential contender Newt Gingrich said his passion and love for America drove him to cheat on his wife early in his political career."There's no question at times of my life, partially driven by how passionately I felt about this country, that I worked far too hard and things happened in my life that were not appropriate," he said in an interview with CBN's David Brody. "I was doing things that were wrong."
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December 28, 2000
Today, President Clinton will announce that The United States is on course to eliminate its public debt within the next decade. The Administration also announced that we are projected to pay down $237 billion in debt in 2001. Due in part to a strong economy and the President's commitment to fiscal discipline, the federal fiscal condition has improved for an unprecedented nine consecutive years. Based upon today's new economic and budget projections for the coming 10 years from the Office of Management and Budget (OMB):
- The United States can be debt-free this decade. By dedicating the entire budget surplus to debt reduction, The United States can eliminate its publicly held debt by FY 2009. The next Administration and Congress will need to decide what priorities to address: eliminate the public debt by FY 2010 and still use part of the surplus for responsible tax cuts, prescription drug benefits for Medicare recipients, and investments in key priorities like education and health care.
- The national debt is projected to be paid down by $237 billion this year. Under the budget President Clinton and Congress completed two weeks ago, the U.S. is projected to pay down $237 billion of the national debt in FY 2001.
- The 4 year total debt paydown will be $600 billion. Over the last three years, we have already paid down $363 billion in debt. Therefore, The United States is on track to reduce the debt by $600 billion over four years, the largest four-year debt pay-down ever.
- Record deficits have become record surpluses. This Administration has have moved the country from a deficit of $290 billion in FY 1992 to an expected surplus of $256 billion in FY 2001. Eight years ago, the Congressional Budget Office projected a $513 billion deficit in FY 2001. Thus, the fiscal picture is now projected to improve by $769 billion in FY 2001 alone.
- Nine consecutive years of fiscal improvement. FY 2001 will be the fourth year in a row of overall surpluses and the second year in a row of a surplus without counting Social Security or Medicare. It will be the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement, the longest such period in history.
ON TRACK TO ELIMINATE THE DEBT THIS DECADE
- The U.S. is on track to eliminate the publicly held debt this decade. Under OMB's new baseline projection, the public debt would be eliminated in FY 2009. This budget "baseline" by definition includes no new initiatives or policy changes and therefore the entire budget surplus is dedicated to debt reduction (including the Social Security, Medicare, and on-budget surpluses). A fiscally responsible budget that includes new investments in moderate tax relief, a Medicare prescription drugs proposal, and key domestic priorities could eliminate the public debt by FY 2010.
- Pay down of $600 billion in debt over four years. In FYs 1998, 1999, and 2000, the debt held by the public was reduced by $363 billion. The U.S. government is projected to pay down an additional $237 billion in debt held by the public this fiscal year alone (FY 2001). That will bring the total debt pay-down to $600 billion-the largest four-year debt pay-down in American history. In contrast, under the 12-year tenure of Presidents Reagan and Bush, the debt held by the public quadrupled.
- The debt held by the public will be cut in half ($3.2 trillion lower) in FY 2001 than it was projected to be when President Clinton took office. In 1993, the debt held by the public was projected by the Office of Management and Budget to balloon to $6.4 trillion by FY 2001. Instead, shrinking deficits-and then the growing surpluses of the last four years-will bring the debt down to $3.2 trillion in FY 2001, $3.2 trillion less than projected in 1993. In FY 1993, the debt held by the public was 50 percent of GDP and projected to rise to 68 percent of GDP in FY 2001. Instead, it will be slashed to 31 percent of GDP this year and can be completely eliminated this decade.
- Interest payments on the debt will be $166 billion lower than projected. In 1993, the net interest payments on the debt held by the public were projected to grow to $376 billion in FY 2001. Tough choices in 1993 and 1997 and a commitment to fiscal discipline have slashed this figure by $166 billion, a 44 percent reduction.
LARGEST UNIFIED SURPLUS EVER
- Instead of a $513 billion deficit, there will be a $256 billion surplus this year. In 1992, the deficit in the federal budget was $290 billion-the largest dollar deficit in American history. In January 1993, the Congressional Budget Office projected that the deficit would grow to $513 billion by FY 2001. In fact, the unified budget will be in surplus by $256 billion in FY 2001-the fourth consecutive surplus and the largest surplus ever, even after adjusting for inflation. Over 10 years, the non-Social Security surplus alone is estimated to be over $2.4 trillion. Not including Social Security and Medicare surpluses, the surplus is projected to be $1.9 trillion.
- Largest unified surplus as a percent of GDP since 1948. The 2001 surplus is projected to be 2.5 percent of the Gross Domestic Product (GDP)-the largest surplus as a ratio to the GDP since 1948.
- The fourth consecutive year with a surplus for the first time in over 70 years. The FY 2001 surplus of $256 billion follows surpluses of $237 billion in FY 2000, $124 billion in FY 1999, and $69 billion in FY 1998. The last time The United States had four surpluses in a row was over 70 years ago, during 1927-30. The FY 2001 surplus will mark the ninth consecutive year of fiscal improvement. This is the longest run of consecutive years of improvement in American history, surpassing the pre-Clinton-Gore best of five straight years.
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March 4, 2011 | naked capitalism
First, Jon Stewart on the teacher versus Wall Street pay logic (hat tip reader Scott via Jesse):
Second, a new and improved Downfall parody which, according to Josh Marshall, is vastly better than an earlier attempt (not being a connoisseur of the genre, I'll take his word. Hat tip reader Scott A):
Topics: Banking industry, Curiousities, Legal, Politics, Social values
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Rickkk :
CR wrote: "Jobs, Jobs, Jobs"
FEBRUARY 27, 2011, 2:23 P.M. ET
Saudi King Orders Permanent State Jobs for Citizens - WSJ.com
RIYADH-"Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah ordered Sunday permanent state jobs for Saudis on temporary labor contracts amid regional uprisings that have toppled regimes in Tunisia and Egypt and infected neighboring Bahrain."
Great minds think alike. .
pavel.chichikov:
sportsfan wrote:
How many will be created over the next two years by extending the Bush tax cuts for the top 2%?
Can you mix a good cocktail? .
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February 19, 2011 | naked capitalism
craazyman:
...I was just remembering the movie from the late 1990s with Morgan Freeman as the President and he had to deal with the fact that an asteroid was heading straight for the earth.
I was thinking S@#t, an afro-dude gets elected president and look what happens. bowahahahahah. Not cause and effect, mind you, just bad luck. It could have been Herbert Hoover or even James Garfield.
Who knew, in 1998, that the asteroid would be neoliberalism, and the president would be Professor Obama himself?
pope john:
Foreign investors' hunger for safe US assets helped to cause the 2007-2009 crisis by encouraging banks to turn risky mortgages into AAA rated bonds, Ben Bernanke, US Federal Reserve chairman, argued in Paris on Friday.
US demand for Grade A heroin helped to cause their domestic drug epidemic, argued drug baron Mahmoud "Needles" Amjab from his yacht in the Maldives. "We'd rather grow food for our people, but we're just cogs in the machine. And you know those crazy Americans, they love to self-medicate."
Pixy Dust
China held a gun to American corporations' heads yelling "move your factories to China because you'll maximize profits!" Sure, yeah. More amnesia. And productive, hard working Chinese saving too much are at fault? Yeah, that's makes sense in their parallel universe. But really, these guys make it up as they go along.
Let's face it, those Federal Reserve Notes aren't even pretty. Some socialist democratic countries like Canada have had colorful holographic currency for years. Now they have healthy economies and people. Maybe art is a good thing. But try telling these cheapskates that.
Tom Hickey:
Fedspeak: Foreign investors' hunger for safe US assets helped to cause the 2007-2009 crisis by encouraging banks to turn risky mortgages into AAA rated bonds, Ben Bernanke, US Federal Reserve chairman, argued in Paris on Friday.
Translation: China's saving the proceeds from its export to the US in dollars caused US banks to commit massive fraud.
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Presented without comment
GEITHNER SAYS `LOTS OF UNFAIRNESS' IN U.S. TAX SYSTEM
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Alaric the Goth:
If that's the change you all voted for, I think you need your money back.
gmj
"The president's job is not to lead, but to divert attention from those who do." Douglas Adams
Steve Giglio:
This is a brand new genre, the first since invention of the Mockumentary
Let's call it FAMEDY
The unholy alliance of fantasy and comedy.
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AlterNet
Jim the Skeptic
This quote is priceless:
"The reason I got involved in public service, by and large, if I had to credit one thinker, one person, it would be Ayn Rand," said Paul Ryan, the GOP's young budget star at a D.C. event honoring the author
If I were vindictive, I would send a copy of that quote to him every year on his birthday! :^)
Of course I assume he has actually read Ayn Rand. It took me about a year or 2 to figure out that no thinking person could possibly believe what she wrote.
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Jesse's Café Américain
I receive an automatic email from Dave Rosenberg of Canadian firm Gluskin Sheff every morning. He is always informed and clever, but occasionally he just makes my day. You can receive his e-letter by registering here.
HERBERT OBAMA?A long-standing colleague and reader sent this off to me yesterday and it blew
me away. Read on:Obama's State of the Union:"Two years after the worst recession most of us have ever known, the stock market has come roaring back. Corporate profits are up. The economy is growing again."
Herbert Hoover, May 1st 1930, US Chamber of Commerce Meeting:
"While the crash only took place six months ago, I am convinced we have now passed the worst and with continued unity of effort we shall rapidly recover."
Obama's State of the Union:
"Thanks to the tax cuts we passed, Americans' paychecks are a little bigger today. Every business can write off the full cost of the new investments they make this year. These steps, taken by Democrats and Republicans, will grow the economy and add to the more than one million private sector jobs created last
year."Herbert Hoover, October 22, 1932, campaign speech in Detroit:
"It can be demonstrated that the tide has turned and that the gigantic forces of depression are today in retreat. Our measures and policies have demonstrated their effectiveness. They have preserved the American people from certain chaos. They have preserved a final fortress of stability in the world."
Obama's State of the Union:
"But now that the worst of the recession is over..."
Herbert Hoover, June 1930, to a delegation requesting a public works project:
"Gentlemen, you have come sixty days too late. The depression is over."
Obama's State of the Union:
"The steps we've taken over the last two years may have broken the back of this recession…"
Herbert Hoover, State of the Union, December 6, 1932:
"The unprecedented emergency measures enacted and policies adopted undoubtedly saved the country from economic disaster…"
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The Urban Dictionary declared it Word of the Day today, and suggests it's a handy-dandy way of saying "whenever," pace the Spanish "mańana."when the economy picks up
January 10, 2011 Urban Word of the Day
Common beginning or ending to a sentence. It can serve to:
1. provide an excuse for why one has not yet done something.
2. suggest a vague intention of doing something later (similar to how Spanish speakers use the word "mańana.")
3. add minimal credibility to an idea that is a pipe dream.
1. There's no point in looking for a job until the economy picks up.
2. I'll start my business when the economy picks up.
3. Unemployment levels will go back down to the levels they were in the late 1990s when the economy picks up.
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Whenever you hear a business executive or politician use the term "American competitiveness," watch your wallet.
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01/20/2011
loup garou:
----> Little Georgie's Blog
I'm against all war. Every war ever fought has been the result of "false flag" attacks. No nation in history has ever actually attacked another nation, except of course the U.S.A. Because I said so in my blog. (See this.) Also, war costs a lot of money, which would be better spent on stuff like "Cash-for-golf carts" programs and more frisbees for prison inmates.
I'm a "Truther", and we "Truthers" have a monopoly on the truth. Because I said so. (See here.) And to prove it, I will use any flimsy crap -- printed or spoken in any venue by any dubious entity -- if it fits the pre-ordained template of my open mind. And if you disagree, it's because you're closed-minded or brainwashed or a CIA plant or in denial or something. (See this and that.)
Also, you should realize that I'm telling the truth because all of my sources are either "prominent", or "legendary", or "leading", or "noted", or "experts" in their respective fields. Because I always say so in my blog. (See here, there, and everywhere.)
The U.S.A., and especially Bush/Cheney, are evil. Corporations are evil too, because they're always making a mess of the environment and stuff. Intentionally. Because all they care about is making profits by screwing people. And because they hate people and the Earth. All other entities are OK; or, at least, less evil than corporations and George Bush and Dick Cheney, whose real name is "Dick Planet Raper Cheney The Master Of Torture."
The financial world is full of crooks (duh) and the economy can't recover until they are all in jail being savagely sodomized by a very large, heavily tattooed inmate named "Big Hector". If I keep repeating this notion in my blog -- and if I hold my breath until my face turns red -- this fantasy will magically come to pass. Then I'll be almost happy; but not quite, because I know at least one of them will get away scot-free without being sodomized by Big Hector. And because it's unlikely that I would get any sodomy video footage to link to. (Not here.)
The "left/right paradigm" is obsolete. There is no more "left" or "right". Because I said so. (See this and that and there.) So take that, you right-wing scum. However, my usual "sources" (like the Guardian, New York Times, Huffington Post, Daily Kos, FireDogLake, Salon, Der Spiegel, The Nation, Mother Jones, NPR, Bill Moyers, Noam Chomsky, Dennis Kucinich, Michael Moore, MSNBC, Keith Olbermann, The Libtard Gazette, The Hammer and Sickle Herald, and on and on and on…) are as yet oblivious to this new non-ideological reality. Probably because they haven't read my blog, in which I said so. (See this and that and the other thing again.) Anyway, whatever I copy-and-paste from these unbiased, objective sources is absolute gospel, because they have no agenda except the truth, just like me. Furthermore, I agree with my fellow liberals and lefties that there are no such things as liberals and lefties.
As you can see, my name is "George Washington", not "George Soros"; even though all the sources where I camp out are media organs for Nazi collaborator George Soros. That's just a coincidence you should disregard. Because I say so. (See here.) Therefore, I am not a KGB/FSB agent, even though I might as well be.
It is also just a coincidence that America-haters, Marxists, "Truthers", "Birthers", Holocaust deniers, Stalin apologists, anti-Semites, Christian haters, racists and other bigots, paranoid schizophrenics, illiterates, frauds, plagiarists, liars and drug dealers… are drawn to me like buzzards on a gut wagon. This has nothing to do with me. It's not my fault that my fans are so high-class. They read my blog so they can learn from me, because I'm so much smarter and better informed than they are. If they didn't have me, just think how wretched they would be! (See somewhere.)
Because I have the mind of a child, I can't repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can't repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can't repeat myself often enough. Because I have the mind of a child, I can't repeat myself often enough… (See this and that.)
Do svidaniya,
Georgie One NoteDionysus:
While I do not entirely agree with your scathing judgment of GW, this is brilliant satire!
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January 18, 2011 | guardian.co.uk
SuperIrons:
Until the 1970s, US capitalism shared its spoils with American workers.
Goddam Commies.
OlaToivonenDaMan:
The richest 10-15% – those cashing in on employers' good fortune from no longer-rising wages – helped bring on the crisis by speculating wildly and unsuccessfully in all sorts of new financial instruments
While the poorest 85% speculated wildly and unsuccessfully on the housing market by buying houses at least 8 times as expensive as they could actually afford.
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>[Dec 23, 2008] David Michael Green Hey, Reagan Democrats!Economist's View
Ralph Musgrave:
Contrary to Krugman's suggestions, the G.O.P. has shown great concern for the "unfortunate": look at all those "unfortunate" crooks, criminals and incompetents on Wall Street who have been bailed out with the odd trillion of taxpayers' money. And please note – the fact that some of this bailout money is then used to fund the election campaigns of G.O.P. politicians is entirely coincidental.
Sometime in the future..."And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just follow me over in this direction, I'd like to show you one of our rarest and most reviled species here at The Human Zoo – it's the proverbial 'Reagan Democrat'.
"Most of your younger visitors here at the Zoo have no idea what a Reagan Democrat could be, so I always like to take the time to explain it to them. Indeed, most of them don't even know what Reagan was, except that they keep hearing the people who wrecked Old America talk about this wrinkled prune faced guy with the Gumby hair as if he were some sort of deity. I get a lot of questions about how someone could actually have done things that don't sound even remotely plausible, but I generally leave that for the historians to explain, other than to remind people that injecting religious dogma into politics doesn't just mean stupidity only when it comes to policies related to sexuality, war, taxation, the economy or the environment.
"But already I digress... The Reagan Democrat (technically, Imbecelicus politici) was always the strangest and most contemptuous of species from the habitat of American politics, as you've perhaps already heard. Try to imagine another example from the animal kingdom that could be so readily counted upon to bring harm upon itself and others. There are some of course, but usually they are simply ignorant animals, often with very limited cranial capacity.
"The Reagan Democrat, on the other hand, was simply obnoxiously greedy, and took great pains to aggregate to itself as much stuff as was possible, including even meaningless psychological affirmations of its existential worth. It wasn't very long, of course, before another animal in the jungle noticed this tendency, and established a parasitic relationship with the Reagan Democrat. These others were known as The Wealthy (Plutocratus illegitimi), and they got very rich – though they could still never seem to achieve happiness – by exploiting the opportunities provided to them by the Reagan Democrat. A very mean-spirited and deceitful group of marketing gurus like Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were generally the weapon of choice for accomplishing this.
"Anyhow, before we enter the exhibit, perhaps I should stop now and take any questions. Yes, you, young lady, what can I tell you?"
"Well, sir, you've never quite defined what a Reagan Democrat is. And, especially, why someone associated with Mr. Reagan would be a Democrat. Wasn't he from that other party, the, uh..., the... Regressocans? ...the Degenocrats?"
"Ah, fine questions, indeed, and you're quite right that I've been remiss in not explaining those fundamentals so far. It's an occupational hazard, I suppose. We zoo curators get so caught up in admiring our own erudition that we sometimes we forget to do our jobs properly!
"Speaking of which, where were we...? Oh, yes, I was going to answer your questions about the meaning of this term. First of all, let's get that political party name straight. Reagan was a Republican. That's what makes the creature we're about to see so interesting. It came from working class roots, often recently arrived just a generation earlier from some very poor Eastern European country or such. Its local social unit had only recently been elevated to the middle class, and this achievement had everything to do with the progressive policies the Democratic Party. For the first time ever, and because of these policies, it had a good job, a house in the suburbs, two cars, and it could send its offspring to institutions of higher education which had previously been reserved exclusively for elites, as represented by Mr. Reagan's party.
"But it was very, very greedy, and thus differentiated itself off into a new species which was marked by the fact that it could have its underdeveloped psychology readily appealed to for purposes of exploitation by Republican operatives, representing the economic elite species. In fact, it was actually pretty easy to do. All they had to do was throw some line about an evil foreign bogeyman down to the Reagan Democrat, or perhaps a story about uppity darker skinned members of the genus, or some televised ruse about how very, very bad people were out to destroy Christmas, the silly religious holiday of yore... Anything like that would generally work.
"It really didn't matter very much what ploy was chosen, though the more naked the appeal to greed or vanity, the better. For instance, a handful of elites could carve out for themselves massive chunks of the commonwealth's (formerly) common wealth, but as long as they tossed a few pennies in the direction of the Reagan Democrat at the same time, the latter was sure to support what amounted to his or her own financial undoing, every time. Likewise, since the Reagan Democrat tended to be the most fearful and the most self-loathing of animals in the human sphere, the basest appeals to its vanity could also buy votes en masse, and on the cheap, too. You just had to make him feel a little bigger than someone else – women, foreigners, brown people, homosexuals – it didn't really matter. Then you could get his vote and pick his pocket."
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Sometime in the future..."And now, ladies and gentlemen, if you'll just follow me over in this direction, I'd like to show you one of our rarest and most reviled species here at The Human Zoo – it's the proverbial 'Reagan Democrat'.
"Most of your younger visitors here at the Zoo have no idea what a Reagan Democrat could be, so I always like to take the time to explain it to them. Indeed, most of them don't even know what Reagan was, except that they keep hearing the people who wrecked Old America talk about this wrinkled prune faced guy with the Gumby hair as if he were some sort of deity. I get a lot of questions about how someone could actually have done things that don't sound even remotely plausible, but I generally leave that for the historians to explain, other than to remind people that injecting religious dogma into politics doesn't just mean stupidity only when it comes to policies related to sexuality, war, taxation, the economy or the environment.
"But already I digress... The Reagan Democrat (technically, Imbecelicus politici) was always the strangest and most contemptuous of species from the habitat of American politics, as you've perhaps already heard. Try to imagine another example from the animal kingdom that could be so readily counted upon to bring harm upon itself and others. There are some of course, but usually they are simply ignorant animals, often with very limited cranial capacity.
"The Reagan Democrat, on the other hand, was simply obnoxiously greedy, and took great pains to aggregate to itself as much stuff as was possible, including even meaningless psychological affirmations of its existential worth. It wasn't very long, of course, before another animal in the jungle noticed this tendency, and established a parasitic relationship with the Reagan Democrat. These others were known as The Wealthy (Plutocratus illegitimi), and they got very rich – though they could still never seem to achieve happiness – by exploiting the opportunities provided to them by the Reagan Democrat. A very mean-spirited and deceitful group of marketing gurus like Lee Atwater and Karl Rove were generally the weapon of choice for accomplishing this.
"Anyhow, before we enter the exhibit, perhaps I should stop now and take any questions. Yes, you, young lady, what can I tell you?"
"Well, sir, you've never quite defined what a Reagan Democrat is. And, especially, why someone associated with Mr. Reagan would be a Democrat. Wasn't he from that other party, the, uh..., the... Regressocans? ...the Degenocrats?"
"Ah, fine questions, indeed, and you're quite right that I've been remiss in not explaining those fundamentals so far. It's an occupational hazard, I suppose. We zoo curators get so caught up in admiring our own erudition that we sometimes we forget to do our jobs properly!
"Speaking of which, where were we...? Oh, yes, I was going to answer your questions about the meaning of this term. First of all, let's get that political party name straight. Reagan was a Republican. That's what makes the creature we're about to see so interesting. It came from working class roots, often recently arrived just a generation earlier from some very poor Eastern European country or such. Its local social unit had only recently been elevated to the middle class, and this achievement had everything to do with the progressive policies the Democratic Party. For the first time ever, and because of these policies, it had a good job, a house in the suburbs, two cars, and it could send its offspring to institutions of higher education which had previously been reserved exclusively for elites, as represented by Mr. Reagan's party.
"But it was very, very greedy, and thus differentiated itself off into a new species which was marked by the fact that it could have its underdeveloped psychology readily appealed to for purposes of exploitation by Republican operatives, representing the economic elite species. In fact, it was actually pretty easy to do. All they had to do was throw some line about an evil foreign bogeyman down to the Reagan Democrat, or perhaps a story about uppity darker skinned members of the genus, or some televised ruse about how very, very bad people were out to destroy Christmas, the silly religious holiday of yore... Anything like that would generally work.
"It really didn't matter very much what ploy was chosen, though the more naked the appeal to greed or vanity, the better. For instance, a handful of elites could carve out for themselves massive chunks of the commonwealth's (formerly) common wealth, but as long as they tossed a few pennies in the direction of the Reagan Democrat at the same time, the latter was sure to support what amounted to his or her own financial undoing, every time. Likewise, since the Reagan Democrat tended to be the most fearful and the most self-loathing of animals in the human sphere, the basest appeals to its vanity could also buy votes en masse, and on the cheap, too. You just had to make him feel a little bigger than someone else – women, foreigners, brown people, homosexuals – it didn't really matter. Then you could get his vote and pick his pocket."
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CARLSON: Well, he's been called the most trusted name in fake news. Next, we're joined by Jon Stewart for his one-of-a-kind take on politics, the press and America. We'll be right back.
... ... ...
STEWART: Why do you argue, the two of you?
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: I hate to see it.
CARLSON: We enjoy it.
STEWART: Let me ask you a question.
CARLSON: Well, let me ask you a question first.
STEWART: All right.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Is John Kerry -- is John Kerry really the best? I mean, John Kerry has...
STEWART: Is he the best? I thought Lincoln was good.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Is he the best the Democrats can do?
STEWART: Is he the best the Democrats can do?
CARLSON: Yes, this year of the whole field.
STEWART: I had always thought, in a democracy -- and, again, I don't know -- I've only lived in this country -- that there's a process. They call them primaries.
CARLSON: Right.
STEWART: And they don't always go with the best, but they go with whoever won. So is he the best? According to the process.
CARLSON: Right. But of the nine guys running, who do you think was best. Do you think he was the best, the most impressive?
STEWART: The most impressive?
CARLSON: Yes.
STEWART: I thought Al Sharpton was very impressive.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: I enjoyed his way of speaking. I think, oftentimes, the person that knows they can't win is allowed to speak the most freely, because, otherwise, shows with titles, such as CROSSFIRE.
BEGALA: CROSSFIRE.
STEWART: Or "HARDBALL" or "I'm Going to Kick Your Ass" or...
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Will jump on it. In many ways, it's funny. And I made a special effort to come on the show today, because I have privately, amongst my friends and also in occasional newspapers and television shows, mentioned this show as being bad.
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: We have noticed.
STEWART: And I wanted to -- I felt that that wasn't fair and I should come here and tell you that I don't -- it's not so much that it's bad, as it's hurting America.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: But in its defense...
STEWART: So I wanted to come here today and say... Here's just what I wanted to tell you guys.
CARLSON: Yes.
STEWART: Stop.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Stop, stop, stop, stop hurting America.
BEGALA: OK. Now
STEWART: And come work for us, because we, as the people...
CARLSON: How do you pay?
STEWART: The people -- not well.
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: Better than CNN, I'm sure.
STEWART: But you can sleep at night.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: See, the thing is, we need your help. Right now, you're helping the politicians and the corporations. And we're left out there to mow our lawns.
BEGALA: By beating up on them? You just said we're too rough on them when they make mistakes.
STEWART: No, no, no, you're not too rough on them. You're part of their strategies. You are partisan, what do you call it, hacks.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Wait, Jon, let me tell you something valuable that I think we do that I'd like to see you...
STEWART: Something valuable?
CARLSON: Yes.
STEWART: I would like to hear it.
CARLSON: And I'll tell you. When politicians come on...
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: It's nice to get them to try and answer the question. And in order to do that, we try and ask them pointed questions. I want to contrast our questions with some questions you asked John Kerry recently.
CARLSON: ... up on the screen.
STEWART: If you want to compare your show to a comedy show, you're more than welcome to.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: No, no, no, here's the point.
STEWART: If that's your goal.
CARLSON: It's not.
STEWART: I wouldn't aim for us. I'd aim for "Seinfeld." That's a very good show.
CARLSON: Kerry won't come on this show. He will come on your show.
STEWART: Right.
CARLSON: Let me suggest why he wants to come on your show.
STEWART: Well, we have civilized discourse.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Well, here's an example of the civilized discourse. Here are three of the questions you asked John Kerry.
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: You have a chance to interview the Democratic nominee. You asked him questions such as -- quote -- "How are you holding up? Is it hard not to take the attacks personally?"
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: "Have you ever flip-flopped?" et cetera, et cetera.
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: Didn't you feel like -- you got the chance to interview the guy. Why not ask him a real question, instead of just suck up to him?
STEWART: Yes. "How are you holding up?" is a real suck-up. And I actually giving him a hot stone massage as we were doing it.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: It sounded that way. It did.
STEWART: You know, it's interesting to hear you talk about my responsibility.
CARLSON: I felt the sparks between you.
STEWART: I didn't realize that -- and maybe this explains quite a bit.
CARLSON: No, the opportunity to...
STEWART: ... is that the news organizations look to Comedy Central for their cues on integrity.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: So what I would suggest is, when you talk about you're holding politicians' feet to fire, I think that's disingenuous. I think you're...
CARLSON: "How are you holding up?" I mean, come on.
STEWART: No, no, no. But my role isn't, I don't think...
CARLSON: But you can ask him a real question, don't you think, instead of saying...
STEWART: I don't think I have to. By the way, I also asked him, "Were you in Cambodia?" But I didn't really care.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Because I don't care, because I think it's stupid.
CARLSON: I can tell.
STEWART: But my point is this. If your idea of confronting me is that I don't ask hard-hitting enough news questions, we're in bad shape, fellows. (LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: We're here to love you, not confront you.
CARLSON: We're here to be nice.
STEWART: No, no, no, but what I'm saying is this. I'm not. I'm here to confront you, because we need help from the media and they're hurting us. And it's -- the idea is...
(APPLAUSE)
BEGALA: Let me get this straight. If the indictment is -- if the indictment is -- and I have seen you say this -- that...
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: And that CROSSFIRE reduces everything, as I said in the intro, to left, right, black, white.
STEWART: Yes.
BEGALA: Well, it's because, see, we're a debate show.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great.
BEGALA: It's like saying The Weather Channel reduces everything to a storm front.
STEWART: I would love to see a debate show.
BEGALA: We're 30 minutes in a 24-hour day where we have each side on, as best we can get them, and have them fight it out.
STEWART: No, no, no, no, that would be great. To do a debate would be great.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Jon, Jon, Jon, I'm sorry. I think you're a good comedian. I think your lectures are boring.
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: Let me ask you a question on the news.
STEWART: Now, this is theater. It's obvious. How old are you?
CARLSON: Thirty-five.
STEWART: And you wear a bow tie.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Yes, I do. I do.
STEWART: So this is...
CARLSON: I know. I know. I know. You're a...
STEWART: So this is theater.
CARLSON: Now, let me just...
CARLSON: Now, come on.
STEWART: Now, listen, I'm not suggesting that you're not a smart guy, because those are not easy to tie.
CARLSON: They're difficult.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: But the thing is that this -- you're doing theater, when you should be doing debate, which would be great.
BEGALA: We do, do...
STEWART: It's not honest. What you do is not honest. What you do is partisan hackery. And I will tell you why I know it.
CARLSON: You had John Kerry on your show and you sniff his throne and you're accusing us of partisan hackery?
STEWART: Absolutely.
CARLSON: You've got to be kidding me. He comes on and you...
STEWART: You're on CNN. The show that leads into me is puppets making crank phone calls.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: What is wrong with you?
(APPLAUSE) CARLSON: Well, I'm just saying, there's no reason for you -- when you have this marvelous opportunity not to be the guy's butt boy, to go ahead and be his butt boy. Come on. It's embarrassing.
STEWART: I was absolutely his butt boy. I was so far -- you would not believe what he ate two weeks ago.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: You know, the interesting thing I have is, you have a responsibility to the public discourse, and you fail miserably.
CARLSON: You need to get a job at a journalism school, I think.
STEWART: You need to go to one. The thing that I want to say is, when you have people on for just knee-jerk, reactionary talk...
CARLSON: Wait. I thought you were going to be funny. Come on. Be funny.
STEWART: No. No. I'm not going to be your monkey.
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: Go ahead. Go ahead.
STEWART: I watch your show every day. And it kills me.
CARLSON: I can tell you love it.
STEWART: It's so -- oh, it's so painful to watch.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: You know, because we need what you do. This is such a great opportunity you have here to actually get politicians off of their marketing and strategy.
CARLSON: Is this really Jon Stewart? What is this, anyway?
STEWART: Yes, it's someone who watches your show and cannot take it anymore.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: I just can't.
CARLSON: What's it like to have dinner with you? It must be excruciating. Do you like lecture people like this or do you come over to their house and sit and lecture them; they're not doing the right thing, that they're missing their opportunities, evading their responsibilities? STEWART: If I think they are.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: I wouldn't want to eat with you, man. That's horrible.
STEWART: I know. And you won't. But the thing I want to get to...
BEGALA: We did promise naked pictures of the Supreme Court justices.
CARLSON: Yes, we did. Let's get to those.
(CROSSTALK)
BEGALA: They're in this book, which is a very funny book.
STEWART: Why can't we just talk -- please, I beg of you guys, please.
CARLSON: I think you watch too much CROSSFIRE.
We're going to take a quick break.
STEWART: No, no, no, please.
CARLSON: No, no, hold on. We've got commercials.
STEWART: Please. Please stop.
CARLSON: Next, Jon Stewart in the "Rapid Fire."
STEWART: Please stop.
CARLSON: Hopefully, he'll be here, we hope, we think.
(APPLAUSE)
CARLSON: And then, did U.S. soldiers refuse an order in Iraq. Wolf Blitzer has the latest on this investigation right after the break.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
WOLF BLITZER, CNN ANCHOR: I'm Wolf Blitzer in Washington.
Coming up at the top of the hour, the Pentagon investigator a report that U.S. soldiers refused to go on a dangerous mission in Iraq. We'll have details. In medical news, the FDA prescribes a strongly worded label on antidepressant drugs. And why some experts think the flu vaccine shortage is a grim warning about U.S. vulnerability to bioterrorism.
All those stories, much more, only minutes away on "WOLF BLITZER REPORTS."
Now back to CROSSFIRE.
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
CARLSON: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE.
We're talking to Jon Stewart, who was just lecturing us on our moral inferiority. Jon, you're bumming us out. Tell us, what do you think about the Bill O'Reilly vibrator story?
STEWART: I'm sorry. I don't.
CARLSON: Oh, OK.
STEWART: What do you think?
BEGALA: Let me change the subject.
STEWART: Where's your moral outrage on this?
CARLSON: I don't have any.
STEWART: I know.
BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material?
STEWART: I'm sorry?
BEGALA: Which candidate do you suppose would provide you better material if he won?
STEWART: Mr. T. I think he'd be the funniest. I don't...
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: Don't you have a stake in it that way, as not just a citizen, but as a professional comic?
STEWART: Right, which I hold to be much more important than as a citizen.
BEGALA: Well, there you go.
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: But who would you provide you better material, do you suppose?
STEWART: I don't really know. That's kind of not how we look at it. We look at, the absurdity of the system provides us the most material. And that is best served by sort of the theater of it all, you know, which, by the way, thank you both, because it's been helpful.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: But, if Kerry gets elected, is it going to -- you have said you're voting for him. You obviously support him. It's clear. Will it be harder for you to mock his administration if he becomes president?
STEWART: No. Why would it be harder?
CARLSON: Because you support...
STEWART: The only way it would be harder is if his administration is less absurd than this one. So, in that case, if it's less absurd, then, yes, I think it would be harder.
But, I mean, it would be hard to top this group, quite frankly.
(LAUGHTER)
(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)
STEWART: In terms of absurdity and their world matching up to the one that -- you know, it was interesting. President Bush was saying, John Kerry's rhetoric doesn't match his record.
But I've heard President Bush describe his record. His record doesn't match his record.
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: So I don't worry about it in that respect.
But let me ask you guys, again, a question, because we talked a little bit about, you're actually doing honest debate and all that. But, after the debates, where do you guys head to right afterwards?
CARLSON: The men's room.
STEWART: Right after that?
BEGALA: Home.
STEWART: Spin alley.
BEGALA: Home.
STEWART: No, spin alley.
BEGALA: What are you talking about? You mean at these debates?
STEWART: Yes. You go to spin alley, the place called spin alley. Now, don't you think that, for people watching at home, that's kind of a drag, that you're literally walking to a place called deception lane?
(LAUGHTER)
STEWART: Like, it's spin alley. It's -- don't you see, that's the issue I'm trying to talk to you guys...
BEGALA: No, I actually believe -- I have a lot of friends who work for President Bush. I went to college with some of them.
CARLSON: Neither of us was ever in the spin room, actually.
(BELL RINGING)
BEGALA: No, I did -- I went to do the Larry King show.
They actually believe what they're saying. They want to persuade you. That's what they're trying to do by spinning. But I don't doubt for a minute these people who work for President Bush, who I disagree with on everything, they believe that stuff, Jon. This is not a lie or a deception at all. They believe in him, just like I believe in my guy.
STEWART: I think they believe President Bush would do a better job.
And I believe the Kerry guys believe President Kerry would do a better job. But what I believe is, they're not making honest arguments. So what they're doing is, in their mind, the ends justify the means.
BEGALA: I don't think so at all.
CARLSON: I do think you're more fun on your show. Just my opinion.
CARLSON: OK, up next, Jon Stewart goes one on one with his fans...
STEWART: You know what's interesting, though? You're as big a dick on your show as you are on any show.
(LAUGHTER)
CARLSON: Now, you're getting into it. I like that.
STEWART: Yes.
CARLSON: OK. We'll be right back.
(COMMERCIAL BREAK)
BEGALA: Welcome back to CROSSFIRE. We are joined by Comedy Central's Jon Stewart, host of "The Daily Show" and author of No. 1 bestseller, "America (The Book): A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."
CARLSON: And a ton of fun, I like that too.
BEGALA: Some questions from our audience. Yes sir, what's your name, what's your name?
QUESTION: Hi, my name's David. I'm from Boston.
STEWART: Hi, David.
QUESTION: My question is, what do you think the hump on G.W.'s back during the debate was?
STEWART: Say it again?
QUESTION: What do you think the hump on George's back during the debate was?
STEWART: The hump on his back?
BEGALA: Oh, you're familiar? This is (INAUDIBLE) conspiracy theory. Can I take this one?
STEWART: Yes, please.
BEGALA: It was nothing, his suit was puckering. A lot of people believe he had one of these in his ear. If he was being fed lines by Karl Rove, he would not have been so inarticulate, guys. It's a myth.
(LAUGHTER)
BEGALA: It's not true. There's this huge myth out on the left.
BEGALA: Yes, ma'am.
QUESTION: Renee (ph) from Texas. Why do you think it's hard or difficult or impossible for politicians to answer a straight, simple question?
STEWART: I don't think it's hard. I just think that nobody holds their feet to the fire to do it. So they don't have to. They get to come on shows that don't...
BEGALA: They're too easy on them.
CARLSON: Yes. Ask them how you hold...
STEWART: Not easy on them...
BEGALA: ... saying we were too hard on people and too (INAUDIBLE).
STEWART: I think you're - yes.
CARLSON: All right. Jon Stewart, come back soon.
BEGALA: Jon Stewart, good of you to join us. Thank you very much. The book is "America: A Citizen's Guide to Democracy Inaction."
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There was a merchant in Baghdad who sent his servant to market to buy provisions and in a little while the servant came back, white and trembling, and said, "Master, just now when I was in the marketplace I was jostled by a woman in the crowd and when I turned I saw it was Death that jostled me. She looked at me and made a threatening gesture, now, lend me your horse, and I will ride away from this city and avoid my fate. I will go to Samarra and there Death will not find me."
The merchant lent him his horse, and the servant mounted it, and he dug his spurs in its flanks and as fast as the horse could gallop he went. Then the merchant went down to the marketplace and he saw Death standing in the crowd and he came up to Death and said, "Why did you make a threatening gesture to my servant when you saw him this morning?"
"That was not a threatening gesture", Death said, "It was only a start of surprise. I was astonished to see him in Baghdad, for I had an appointment with him tonight in Samarra." {As retold by W. Somerset Maugham – 1933)
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Sept. 6, 2004 -- HOLLYWOOD (apj.us) -- In a move long anticipated by the editorial staffs at The New York Times and CNN, Merriam-Webster Inc. has announced that they will be pulling the word "terrorist" from the 2005 edition of their dictionaries.
"We've been debating the necessity of word's inclusion as part of the English language for quite some time," said Merriam-Webster historian Daniel Webster XI, "but when those Chechen hostage-taking rebel militant freedom-fighters slaughtered all those innocent children at that Russian school and neither major wire-service nor major newspaper chose to call the killers 'terrorists,' we realized that there was no way the word would ever be used."
"I mean, if you couldn't call this um... act of revolution event, terrorist, when could you use it?" asked Webster.
Following on the footsteps of Webster's move, thesauruses across the English- and French-speaking word-world quickly took action, deleting multiple entries.
"With limited space, there were far more heavily-utilized terms such as 'suicide bombers', 'insurgents', and especially 'ideological disputers' that merited the room, space or area," added Peter Roget IV.
In a related story, Al Qaeda passionists disconnected the head of an MSNBC reporter.
Steve Young, political editor of National Lampoon and evil genius behind National Lampoon's MoveOnPlease.org, is also the author of "Great Failures of the Extremely Successful" and "Winchell Mink...The Misadventure Begins" (Harper Collins), and writes about politics for AlbionMonitor.net and AmericanPolitics.com.
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29 October 2003
Serious news is no laughing matter. Especially at Fox News Channel. That, at least, is the allegation of The Simpsons creator Matt Groening, who has accused Rupert Murdoch's "fair and balanced" news channel of threatening legal action after a particularly pointed episode poked fun at Fox.
The episode in question featured a "Fox News Crawl" at the bottom of the screen, which parodied some of the more unlikely items featured by the right-wing news channel.
The cartoon ticker read: "Pointless news crawls up 37 per cent ... Do Democrats cause cancer? Find out at foxnews.com ... Rupert Murdoch: Terrific dancer ... Dow down 5000 points ... Study: 92 per cent of Democrats are gay ... JFK posthumously joins Republican Party ... Oil slicks found to keep seals young, supple ..."
Mr Groening told National Public Radio that, after the cartoon was broadcast last year on Fox Entertainment Channel, he was threatened with legal action by the news channel.
He said: "We did the crawl along the bottom of the screen. Fox said they would sue the show. And we called their bluff because we didn't think Rupert Murdoch would pay for Fox to sue itself. We got away with it.
"But now Fox has a new rule that we can't do those little fake news crawls on the bottom of the screen in a cartoon because it might confuse the viewers into thinking it's real news."
Yesterday, Robert Zimmerman, a spokesman for Fox News Channel, denied that the news channel had ever threatened a lawsuit.
"We are scratching our heads over here," he said. "We liked the cartoon. We thought it was great." Earlier this year, Fox tried to sue the comedian Al Franken over his book, Lies and the Lying Liars Who Tell Them . The suit was thrown out of court and the publicity helped Mr Franken's book become a bestseller.
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| If Famous Journalists Became Honest Rappers |
| by Norman Solomon |
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The "Bulworth" movie -- with Warren Beatty playing a senator who begins to speak disturbing truths
in the form of rap lyrics -- caused quite a stir when it came out five years ago. At the time, I wondered aloud in a column about
what might happen if leading journalists followed that fictional example.
I'm biased, but it seems to me that some of my lyrics have stood the test of time. For instance: DAN RATHER: "I like to tell the public how it pains me so -- to be more superficial and keep racking up the dough." COKIE ROBERTS: "Born and bred in the pundit patch, I utter easy notions with great dispatch. Every spectrum has a center, every player has a price. If you want to stick my neck out, I have to say no dice." BRIT HUME: "I love to tell you all the news on Fox TV. My boss man Rupert Murdoch is cool as he can be. He pays me piles of money for tilting to the right. And if you sound progressive, you'll really get a fight." MARK SHIELDS, AL HUNT, ROBERT NOVAK and MARGARET CARLSON: "We're on the show each week, but the jokes are not so funny. CNN dubbed us 'The Capital Gang' -- but that name refers to money." JOHN STOSSEL: "As an ABC reporter, I've got lots of clout. Greed is full of virtues, I have no doubt. Evangelist for deregulation, that's my calling -- I laugh when all those losers scream and then start bawling." TOM BROKAW: "I can tell a story real quick. Gets so simplistic it might make you sick. On the tube, footage trumps a thousand words. General Electric owns NBC, and I'm running with the herds." TED KOPPEL: "Reporting from Washington for ABC News, I surely know that even power brokers get the blues. I am proud to call Henry Kissinger my friend. We like the Ten Commandments, but number six we must amend." GEORGE WILL: "To this deplorable level I will not descend. To be so rhythmic while a rhymester -- may heaven forfend! We are elite guardians of fine European values. How dare people drag us down pathological avenues?" But I don't want to rest on my media hip-hop laurels. So, here are new rap lyrics for some journalistic stars of 2003: JUDITH MILLER: "You could call me a reporter who's an angel of death -- and I do bear grim resemblance to Lady MacBeth. The New York Times let me spin 'bout WMDs. Got lots of front-page ink, Iraq is on its knees." BILL O'REILLY: "I huff and I puff and I blow my guests away. I control the microphones, who cares what they say?" THOMAS FRIEDMAN: "I sure respect the Arabs, they could become like us. The peace process need not be such a bloody fuss. Global trade is the key to make our planet well; let's globalize the corporate state -- in heaven we can dwell." But why just focus on individuals when the most significant media "rappers" are institutions? For example: FOX NEWS: "They call us conservative, and that's kinda funny. What we believe in most is our power and our money." MSNBC: "How craven can we get? Well let's find out! If we can sink lower, then kindly give a shout. Star-spangled pander is our latest gambit. We found the flame of right-wing junk, and now we're gonna fan it." USA TODAY: "We're in a world of color, with lots to see and buy. Sweet brevity helps us keep Gannett profits high." THE WALL STREET JOURNAL: "Schizoid to a fault, that's what makes us tacky -- news coverage fine, editorials wacky." NPR NEWS: "Our stories are getting shorter and shorter, to the despair of many a reporter. And all that spin from Washington can be kind of rough, especially surrounded by so much (bleep) fluff." |
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"And I said on my program, if, if the Americans go in and overthrow Saddam Hussein and it's clear he had nothing, I will apologize to the nation, and I will not trust the Bush administration again."
Bill O'Reilly (Fox News) -- March 18, 2003.
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I. Thou shalt talk about Christian principles, but not live by them
II. Thou shalt attack opponents personally when you can't win on policies
III. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, but be in favor of the death penalty
IV. Thou shalt call yourself pro-life, and put guns in the hands of school children
V. Thou shalt give lip service to democracy while taking away civil liberties
VI. Profit is the Lord Thy God, thou shalt not put the people's interest above those of your corporate contributors
VII. Thou shalt make sure fetuses have health coverage, but leave children and babies behind
VIII Thou shalt bear false witness against your opponents and liberals, and demonize them
IX. Thou shalt run on a moderate platform, then enact right-wing policies as soon as possible
X. Thou shalt call the media liberal, so that people forget that the media is owned by corporations with a conservative fiscal agenda.
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"Ari Fleischer, the White House spokesperson, announced that he would be leaving his post sometime this summer. When asked why, Mr. Fleischer denied he would be leaving his post. When reminded that he had just said he was leaving his post, he denied that he had. Then he whispered, 'It's Colin Powell who is leaving the post!' and ducked out of the room."
Society
Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers : Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy
Quotes
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Bulletin:
Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law
History:
Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds : Larry Wall : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOS : Programming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC development : Scripting Languages : Perl history : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history
Classic books:
The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-Month : How to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite
Most popular humor pages:
Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor
The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D
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