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Years ago, the eminent psychologist Carl Rogers recommended three separate but related steps when one is involved in a negotiation of any kind.

This approach usually (not always) achieves, eventually, a mutually acceptable and (preferably) mutually beneficial agreement. Experts suggest that negotiation should not be viewed as a Zero Sum Game. If at all possible, the ultimate agreement should be a Win-Win for everyone involved.

Good books that corresponds to ebook is:

Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation Books

Tact is a careful consideration of the feelings and values of another so as to create harmonious relationships with a reduced potential for conflict or offense. Tact is considered to be a virtue.

An example of tact would be relating to someone a potentially embarrassing detail of their appearance or demeanor without causing them distress.

Tact is a form of interpersonal diplomacy. Tact is the ability to induce change or communicate hurtful information without offending through the use of consideration, compassion, kindness, and reason.

A tactful person can tell you something you don't want to hear and you will be thankful for the information when they are finished.

I believe diplomacy is one of the most important elements of office relations.  It is the skillful approach to conducting tactful negotiations, and the ability to speak or act without offending. This skill is necessary for attaining successful relations in such a diverse international community as the United States. The key idea of diplomacy is the idea of conflict prevention. The idea of conflict prevention recognizes that conflict takes many forms. There is some conflict that is destructive, some that is hopeless and can never be resolved (for all practical purposes). We also recognize that conflict can be a good thing, that good things can come out of addressing it, and sometimes, NOT addressing it is a bad idea. 

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Emotional Intelligence 2.0

William P. Chilton

This book should probably be called "Emotional Intelligence For Chumps 2.0"

I would feel differently if the entire thing wasn't loaded references to how well the author's system works to increase your own Emotional Intelligence.

I think the reason the reviews for this book are so high, is because it (if you'll let it) makes you feel excited, and optimistic at your prospects for increasing your own emotional intelligence.

But the reality is that this book is not meant to provide a comprehensive overview of emotional intelligence. It's purpose is to toot the horn of the EQ test developed by the authors. This book serves to sell more EQ tests.

This book is not for the curious person interested in learning about how human beings work. It is meant for people in business who are looking for dumbed-down ways to improve interpersonal relationships in the workplace.

However, if you were looking for tips and secrets to boosting your own emotional intelligence (tips like "try counting to 10!" or "smile and laugh more!") then maybe this book is for you.

Kara (Kalamazoo, MI) - See all my reviews

Based on a terribly flawed EQ test, June 28, 2012

Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?)

This review is from: Emotional Intelligence 2.0 (Hardcover)

According to this book, your EQ (emotional intelligence quotient) can be divided into four categories: self-awareness, self-management, social awareness, and relationship management.

I was hoping that this book would be a great EQ primer, and I decided to follow along with its instructions to get the full benefit of the book.

Step 1: Take an EQ test to see where you are
Step 2: Identify the area you need the most help with
Step 3: Pick three strategies to work on within that area
Step 4: Retake the EQ test to see how you've improved

I took the test in about two minutes. You rate yourself on a scale from never to always on how often you...
- Are confident in your abilities.
- Admit your shortcomings.
- Understand your emotions as they happen.
- Recognize the impact your behavior has upon others.
- Realize when others influence your emotional state.
- Play a part in creating the difficult circumstances you encounter.
- Can be counted on.
- Handle stress well.
- Embrace change early on.
- Tolerate frustration without getting upset.
- Consider many options before making a decision.
- Strive to make the most out of situations whether good or bad.
- Resist the desire to act or speak when it will not help the situation.
- Do things you regret when upset.
- Brush people off when something is bothering you.
- Are open to feedback.
- Recognize other people's feelings.
- Accurately pick up on the mood in the room.
- Hear what the other person is 'really' saying.
- Are withdrawn in social situations.
- Directly address people in difficult situations.
- Get along well with others.
- Communicate clearly and effectively.
- Show others you care what they are going through.
- Handle conflict effectively.
- Use sensitivity to another person's feelings to manage interactions effectively.
- Learn about others in order to get along better with them.
- Explain yourself to others.

The test then tells you the area you're weakest in, and the book provides you with strategies to work on this area. After you've worked on it, you're encouraged to retake the EQ test to see how your scores compare. I didn't do this last part because it didn't make any sense to me. I mean, I read Mistakes Were Made (But Not by Me): Why We Justify Foolish Beliefs, Bad Decisions, and Hurtful Acts and Thinking, Fast and Slow. Because I invested time in this book, I'm going to want to believe it accomplished something, so I will rate myself better. All retaking the test will show is that I felt like I should have improved--not necessarily that I did.

There is one big, fatal flaw with this book. The test may be "the world's most popular emotional intelligence test," but I have serious doubts that it actually measures EQ. One of the important pieces of EQ is self-awareness. Would someone with low self-awareness know how to rate herself on this test? No. We don't have perfect pictures of ourselves, and we're usually not the best judges of how we rate in areas. Do I strive to make them most out of situations whether good or bad? I like to think so. But my boyfriend, who has often heard me gripe about how lousy my project team is and how I can't believe I'm stuck with them, may feel otherwise. And on something like EQ which is all about relationships between people, what OTHERS think your EQ level is is much more important than what you think it is.

The whole book is based on a faulty premise. It's trying to be a practical version of How To Win Friends and Influence People, but it's not. I can't give it more than two stars because it won't do what it says it will do.

All that said, I think it has another use. If you're a manager, I think this is a good book to use to work with your employees. They can do the self-assessment while you give them your own thoughts (or maybe tie it into a 360 feedback session). Then you can work together with them to pick skills to work on and strategies.

Amazon Listmania! - View List Must negotiation books Harvard Business Essentials Guide to Negotiation Books

Good, but needs more on one important component..., December 23, 2005
Reviewer: Thomas Byron "Tom" (MN) - See all my reviews
This is a good book with solid writing and many of the groundwork ideas of negotiation (distributive and integrative, ZOPA - Zone of possible agreement, etc.). One problem is that the book doesn't focus much on perhaps the most important part of any negotiation -- dealing with people's emotions.

That's why I was excited to learn of the new book by Roger Fisher (lead author of the bestselling Getting to YES). His new book is "Beyond Reason: Using Emotions as You Negotiate," and its 5 big ideas (the core emotional concerns) make it a groundbreaking book important for improving anyone's negotiation...

An Essential and Invaluable Introduction, July 20, 2005

Reviewer: Robert Morris (Dallas, Texas) - See all my reviews
This is one of the volumes in the new Harvard Business Essentials Series. Each offers authoritative answers to the most important questions concerning its specific subject. The material in this book is drawn from a variety of sources which include the Harvard Business School Press and the Harvard Business Review as well as Harvard ManageMentor®, an online service. I strongly recommend the official Harvard Business Essentials Web site ( which offers free interactive versions of tools, checklists, and worksheets cited in this book and other books in the Essentials series. Each volume is indeed "a highly practical resource for readers with all levels of experience." And each is by intent and in execution solution-oriented. Although I think those who have only recently embarked on a business career will derive the greatest benefit, the material is well-worth a periodic review by senior-level executives.

Richard Luecke is the author of several other books in the Essentials series. Once again, credit him with pulling together a wealth of information and counsel from various sources. In this instance, he was assisted by a subject advisor, Michael Watkins, who is an associate professor at the Harvard Business School who does research on negotiation and leadership. Together, they have carefully organized the material as follows.

First, they examine various types of negotiation (e.g. distributive and integrative) and then introduce four key concepts: BATNA (i.e. best alternative to a negotiated agreement), reservation price, ZOPA (i.e. zone of possible agreement), and value creation through trades. Next, they shift their attention to nine steps of preparation to consummate a deal; "table tactics" when engaged in negotiation; FAQs about price, process, and "people problems; barriers to agreement (e.g. negotiating with "die-hard bargainers"); mental errors (e.g. irrational expectations); the importance of establishing and then cultivating various relationships; negotiating for others (i.e. the functions of independent and non-independent agents); and finally, negotiation skills which build organizational competence (e.g. continuous improvement and using negotiation as an organizational opportunity). I especially appreciate the fact that, at the end of each of the ten chapters, a "Summing Up" section is provided which focuses on key points and, later, facilitates a review of the book's narrative. I am also grateful for "Useful Implementation Tools" in the Appendix.

Years ago, the eminent psychologist Carl Rogers recommended three separate but related steps when one is involved in a negotiation of any kind. First, identify the issues on which both "sides" agree and set them aside. Next, agree to concessions, compromises, etc. on other issues and then set them aside. Finally, isolate the issues which remain and focus on them. This approach usually (not always) achieves, eventually, a mutually acceptable and (preferably) mutually beneficial agreement. Experts suggest that negotiation should not be viewed as a Zero Sum Game. If at all possible, the ultimate agreemen

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