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IT Slang Dictionary (sarcasm implied)

(Edited by Nikolai Bezroukov)

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404: Someone who is clueless. From the Web error message, "404 Not Found," which means the document requested couldn't be located. "Don't bother asking Nick. He's 404."

4-bangers : weak IT staff who graduated from prestigious universities and afflicted with excessive hubris, mediocre intellect, and unimpressive analytical skills -- in other words, quite well positioned to assume leadership roles in an average IT department. Sometimes called "overly credentialed morons".  See also Schmucks unlimited. The problem is contagion: once one gets in, the network follows.

A

AAA: Derogatory term implying some machinations or other well hidden scam in evaluation of software or hardware products. Hints to AAA mortgage ratings.  "Playing AAA game" means a acquiring software or hardware based on such ratings. Sometimes used sarcastically as a synonym for  sh**ty product or service.

Ace of Spades:  The head of IT department. Hidden reference to the member of the Iraqi government

Action items:  Issues that are classified as such because no one wanted to deal with them/take responsibility for them in the last meeting, that suddenly require vetting, a deep dive, etc., and therefore will be tabled until the next meeting.

Adminisphere: The rarified organizational layers above the rank and file that makes decisions that are typically profoundly inappropriate, absurd or irrelevant.

Agitprop:  corporate propaganda, "teamwork", "striving for perfection" and other junk generated by corporate PR department for lemmings in the trenches.

"All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others":  Reference to cases of promotion of incompetent members, or Assmosis

Alpha: The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in a group. "I dunno, ask Rick. He's our alpha male."

Arm-Waving: When people take fluffy, subjective information and treat it as fact, to justify a viewpoint . . . that they want to justify.

Assmosis: Remember "Osmosis" The process by which some people seem to absorb success and advancement by kissing up to the boss rather than working hard.

B

BAU (business as usual): typically means complete stagnation.

Blamestorming: A group discussion of why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Bubblevision: Corporate vision statement, or speech of some corporate honcho about corporate vision

C

Chainsaw: An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the top brass with clean hands.

CLM (Career Limiting Move): Used by microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. "Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM."

Cobweb: A WWW site that never changes.

Crapplet: A badly written Java applet. "I just wasted 30 minutes downloading that crapplet!"

Crapolla: foolish, false or fake initiatives, slogans or ideas; IT management initiatives to make staff feel good. Identical in meaning to baloney. Office Space (1999) - Quotes - IMDb

Bill Lumbergh: Oh, and remember: next Friday... is Hawaiian shirt day. So, you know, if you want to, go ahead and wear a Hawaiian shirt and jeans.

Creative use of RM (or other Unix command).  See Creative uses of rm like rm -rf / tmp/* or rm -r /etc (instead of rm -r etc)

CR: Cry Babies -- annoying customers, who complain (typically to overworked helpdesk analysts) way too much.

Cube Farm: An office filled with cubicles, occupied by netslaves. See also Netslave

D

Dead Tree Edition: The paper version of a publication available in both paper and electronic forms. With the later usually free ;-)

Dead Cat Bounce:  Corporate PR department attempts to mask worsening situation with over-optimistic forecast.

Dead fish:  Staff of datacenter which was outsourced to India.   Office Space (1999) - Quotes - IMDb

Tom Smykowski: [Smykowski is in a full-body cast] Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.

Death by PowerPoint: The micromanaging style, distinct by stream of requests of Excel spreadsheets or PowerPoint presentations, documenting your activities or staff that should be be documented at all.

Dilbertalized: To be exploited and oppressed by stupid (Bosos or Empty Suits (Aggressive Incompetent Managers)  and/or micromanager/control freak boss, as was Dilbert, the comic strip character. Office Space (1999) - Quotes - IMDb

Dom Portwood: Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.

Peter Gibbons: Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.

Dom Portwood: Yeah. Did you get that memo?

Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.

Dom Portwood: Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

Dipsters: Individuals who hold most of 401K in stock and buy corporate or other stock on dips

Didn't you get the memo?  Used in context of absurd corporate directives. Se also TPS report. Originally from Office Space: Didn't you get the memo?

E

Egosurfing: Scanning WEB for one's own name.

Elvis Years: The peak years of  hype of the particular  software product or methodology.

Emperor have no clothes: Situation when IT brass does something really stupid, or acquire software or hardware based on hype of snake oil salesmen. The moment of revelation is usually delayed until the culprit leaves his position. For the same in security area see The Emperor's New Fluorescent Orange Clothes

F

Fat cats: IT executives

"Fear and bloating": substituting   real-world IT problems with brain-damaging, useless assessments, unrealistic policies and procedures as well as useless software acquisitions.  

FRIT (Fear Rules IT Ghetto):  A hint on the behavioral style of a particularly evil type of IT professionals, as a competent but smug jackass whose jokes come at the others expense and are ultimately exclusionary not inclusive.

Flight Risk: The term used to describe IT employees who are suspected of planning to leave a company

Foxification: falsification of the actual state of IT service, for example helpdesk. Swiping all unpleasant problems under the carpet and presenting Potemkin village picture.  See also "fear and bloating"

Going bananas: Futile attempt to explain to management absurdity of their actions.  

GOOD job: A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job.

Gray Goose: Old, experienced specialist hired by startup trying to appear more professional and established.

H

Hamstering  -- activity of  IT hamsters

Hamster wheel. Never ending meetings

HIWTYL:  “Heads I win, tails you lose”

Hawaiian Shirt Day Idiotic corporate initiative usually scheduled for Fridays

I

Ignorance is a bliss: A sarcastic observation about the actions of  4-bangers promoted to IT management.

IT hamster - an IT person who tries to base his/her IT career not on actual work and learning the ropes, but on excelling in "compliance" with the corporate procedures and policies, whatever it means.  Super energetic but completely clueless.  Enjoys using hamster wheel

It's a Feature: From the old adage, "It's not a bug, it's a  feature." Used sarcastically to describe an unpleasant problem you wish to gloss  over.

I got the memo  Peter Gibbons: Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.

I almost forgot Bill Lumbergh: Hello Peter, whats happening? Ummm, I'm gonna need you to go ahead come in tomorrow. So if you could be here around 9 that would be great, mmmk... oh oh! and I almost forgot ahh, I'm also gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Sunday too, kay. We ahh lost some people this week and ah, we sorta need to play catch up.

If you could do that, that’d be great. The boss assined to you some idiotic work that nee to be done ASAP. From office space: “I’m going to need those TPS reports...ASAP...So, if you could do that, that’d be great..."

 

K

Keyboard Plaque: The disgusting buildup of dirt and crud found on some people's computer keyboards.

L

Link Rot: The process by which web page's links become obsolete as the sites they're connected to change or die.

LHM: Lord Have Mercy. Some amazingly stupid move of corporate brass that is beyond redemption.

LMO: Leave Me Alone. Something like listening corporate presentation 'Planning to Plan."The most typical reaction on steam emails and garbage information from corporate headquaters

M

McJob: Working as helpdesk analyst or shift operator or similar dead-end jobs with their the feeling of emptiness and dissatisfaction .

Meetingomania:  an infectious disease paralyzing few previously useful employees. Also a new lifestyle for corporate parasites. Usually coupled with PHB requests for unnecessary paperwork or PowerPoint presentations (Death by PowerPoint). Often lead to unnecessary software acquisitions.  Essentially identical to hamster wheel

“Moral hazard”:  Actions directed to getting bonuses, often harmful for the department or health of the datacenter.

Mouse Potato: If you think you can't wait your time browsing web thing again :-) This is IT staff answer to the TV junkie/couch potato. See also Miscellaneous Unproductive Time Classification

N

NATO("No Action Talk Only"):  the most typical method of resolution of problems in IT. See also hamster wheel

Netslave: IT staff  working under "unbelievable" pressure under freaking crazy management in "slave camp" conditions. This type of jobs with their long hours, as the evidence shows, increases risk of burn-out as well as mental and/or physical illness. As in Amazon review "The truth is that we're all stuck here doing grunt work 70-90hrs a week for a measly 50 or so grand a year while the "Technoevangelists" of the Valley run off with all the loot." See also  NETSLAVE QUIZ

NRNP (Neither responsible nor prudent): politically correct term for "criminal and crazy".

O

OPM: other people money.

P

Percussive Maintenance: The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

P.C Load Letter: cryptic message that is difficult to understand by the users.

Plug-and-Play: A new hire who doesn't require training. "That new guy is totally plug-and-play."

Potemkin Village: The state of the corporate IT department after successful outsourcing initiative and after IT brass got their bonuses for their valiant efforts. Any corporate brass effort conducted solely for personal enrichment and to deceive others into thinking that a situation is better than it really is. See also Potemkin village

PR: putting lipstick on pigs. "And not just any pigs, mind you, but the biggest, ugliest, most diseased representatives of their species." See also Office Diplomacy Lesson

Prairie Dogging: When something loud happens in a cube farm, heads pop up over the walls trying to see what's going on.

R

Rational decisions:  Decisions based on the low probability of getting caught.

Q

Quicksand: rapidly deteriorating or barely functional application or IT service.

S

Seagull: A micromanager who interrupts works of subordinates way too often...

Shrimp fest: A gathering of corporate brass

Siliwood:  Especially silly and annoying corporate meetings with top brass.

SITCOMs:  "Single Income, Two Children, Oppressive Mortgage"

"Schmucks unlimited":  Useless IT staff. See also 4-bangers  and Snow flowers

SNAFU (from s(ituation) n(ormal): a(ll) f(ucked) u(p)):  An orderly process of the correction of a serious software or hardware problem in the corporate datacenter.  Confusion or chaos regarded as the normal state; an embarrassing mistake with grave consequences

Snow flowers -- IT staff that obtained its position due to nepotism or sexual services to management.

SOU: Survival of the unfittest. Reverse Darwinian process used for selection of the corporate management.

Space out : to stare at the desk so that it looks like you are working.

Square peg in a round hole: A corporate dissident... the maverick who could not fit into the company culture and hates company PR and "operating procedures".

Standard Outsourcing Procedure:  “We find it’s always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there’s less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.” Bob Porter calls this “standard operating procedure” when Peter finds out his buddies are going to be laid off and replaced with “entry-level graduates” and outsourcing to Singapore.

Stress Puppy: A IT person who complains about being overstressed. 

Sysadmin Joe: A hard-core Unix admin who do not know scripting and stuck on a single flavor of Unix, for example AIX (compare with Joe six-pack)

T

"The Emperor's New Fluorescent Orange Clothes":  misguided attempt to improve security. See also Emperor have no clothes

That escalated quickly: A polite hint that the second (unforced) mistake after disaster was committed (see SNAFU)  For example when a badly thought out attempt to save data after the data loss  led to additional destruction of data, or something similar

There was nothing wrong with it:  Attempt to cover you ass after mishap, that occurred due to you fault, such as not performing maintenance procedures, falling to look in the logs, etc.  For example, RAID5 failure after failure of two harddrives.

TPS report: “meaningless exercises imposed upon employees by inept and uncaring management.” 

TPS stands for “Testing Procedure Specification” and the reports need to be filled out for quality assurance. Since the movie Office it has became iconic, “TPS report” has become a catch-all term for “meaningless exercises imposed upon employees by inept and uncaring management.” Gary Cole delivers every Bill Lumbergh line perfectly as he drags out all the right words

U

UAD (Unregulated American Dream):  part time IT job. The underclass of netslaves who are over worked, over educated, underpaid and who live day to day with no health benefits.

Unixoid:

"Unprecedented times": The phase intended to mask the gravity of the situation. See SNAFU

UBS: "Used to Be Smart" -- former programmer who became system administrator or help desk analyst, or worse, mid-level manager...

V

Voodoo: decision based purely on hype and vendor marketing

W

Water boarding: the performance review. see Surviving a Bad Performance Review

"Waiving dead chicken" -- some ritual actions in case of crash or outage; imitation of troubleshooting of the problem just to satisfy superiors or clients.

Well anchored:  intoxicated IT staff (typically at the night shift).

"Winnie SOX" -- (usually incompetent) IT security specialist. Often former accountant.

Witch hunt:  A time-honored response to the serious problems in IT department

Wolf pack : Group of managers involved in outsourcing or "downsizing" of IT staff. Wolves are good at attacking the victims as a pack...

WOOFYS: Well Off Older Folks.

World Wide Wait: The real meaning of WWW over 2G or slower connection.

Wombat ("Waste of Money, Brains and Time"): Replacing solution of underlying complex architectural problems by the acquisition of yet another useless expensive "compliance" software tool.   Can be used with company-specific or application specific prefix like "SAP Wombat", "IBM Wombat", "Helpdesk Wombat". 

Z

Zombie: computer with a rootkit or corporate remote control/information collection software installed. As in warning: "Beware zombies" to the colleague who is way too interested in exploring porno sites during his working hours (actually typically Web usage statistics is connected not on PC but corporate WEB proxy level).


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NEWS CONTENTS

Old News ;-)

[Jan 10, 2020] Office Space (1999) - Quotes - IMDb

Jan 10, 2020 | www.imdb.com

Dom Portwood : Hi, Peter. What's happening? We need to talk about your TPS reports.

Peter Gibbons : Yeah. The coversheet. I know, I know. Uh, Bill talked to me about it.

Dom Portwood : Yeah. Did you get that memo?

Peter Gibbons : Yeah. I got the memo. And I understand the policy. And the problem is just that I forgot the one time. And I've already taken care of it so it's not even really a problem anymore.

Dom Portwood : Ah! Yeah. It's just we're putting new coversheets on all the TPS reports before they go out now. So if you could go ahead and try to remember to do that from now on, that'd be great. All right!

===

Peter Gibbons : The thing is, Bob, it's not that I'm lazy, it's that I just don't care.

Bob Porter : Don't... don't care?

Peter Gibbons : It's a problem of motivation, all right? Now if I work my ass off and Initech ships a few extra units, I don't see another dime, so where's the motivation? And here's something else, Bob: I have eight different bosses right now.

Bob Slydell : I beg your pardon?

Peter Gibbons : Eight bosses.

Bob Slydell : Eight?

Peter Gibbons : Eight, Bob. So that means that when I make a mistake, I have eight different people coming by to tell me about it. That's my only real motivation is not to be hassled, that and the fear of losing my job. But you know, Bob, that will only make someone work just hard enough not to get fired.

===

Michael Bolton : PC load letter! What the fuck does that mean?

===

Peter Gibbons : So I was sitting in my cubicle today, and I realized, ever since I started working, every single day of my life has been worse than the day before it. So that means that every single day that you see me, that's on the worst day of my life.

Dr. Swanson : What about today? Is today the worst day of your life?

Peter Gibbons : Yeah.

Dr. Swanson : Wow, that's messed up.

===

Bob Porter : Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.

Peter Gibbons : I wouldn't say I've been *missing* it, Bob.

===

Bob Porter : We're gonna be getting rid of these people here... First, Mr. Samir Naga... Naga... Naga... Not gonna work here anymore, anyway.

===

Milton Waddams : The ratio of people to cake is too big.

... ... ...

===

Peter Gibbons : You're gonna lay off Samir and Michael?

Bob Slydell : Oh yeah, we're gonna bring in some entry-level graduates, farm some work out to Singapore, that's the usual deal.

Bob Porter : Standard operating procedure.

Peter Gibbons : Do they know this yet?

Bob Slydell : No. No, of course not. We find it's always better to fire people on a Friday. Studies have statistically shown that there's less chance of an incident if you do it at the end of the week.

... ... ...

===

Michael Bolton : Samir and I are the best programmers they got at that place. You haven't been showing up and you get to keep your job.

Peter Gibbons : Actually, I'm being promoted.

===

Tom Smykowski : [Smykowski is in a full-body cast] Just remember, if you hang in there long enough, good things can happen in this world. I mean, look at me.

===

Steve : Good evening Sir, my name is Steve. I come from a rough area. I used to be addicted to crack but now I am off it and trying to stay clean. That is why I am selling magazine subscriptions.

... ... ...

===

[Peter is wearing shorts, sandals and a paisley shirt, with his feet up on his desk, munching chips and playing tetris on his computer]

Bill Lumbergh : So, Peter, what's happening? Aahh, now, are you going to go ahead and have those TPS reports for us this afternoon?

Peter Gibbons : No.

Bill Lumbergh : Ah. Yeah. So I guess we should probably go ahead and have a little talk. Hmm?

Peter Gibbons : Not right now, Lumbergh, I'm kinda busy. In fact, look, I'm gonna have to ask you to just go ahead and come back another time. I got a meeting with the Bobs in a couple of minutes.

Bill Lumbergh : I wasn't aware of a meeting with them.

Peter Gibbons : Yeah, they called me at home.

... ... ...

===

Joanna : I dunno, it just seems wrong.

Peter Gibbons : It's NOT wrong. INITECH is wrong. INITECH is an evil corporation, all right? Chochkies is wrong. Doesn't it bother you that you have to get up in the morning and you have to put on a bunch of pieces of flair?

Joanna : Yeah, but I'm not about to go in and start taking money from the register.

Peter Gibbons : Well, maybe you should. You know, the Nazis had pieces of flair that they made the Jews wear.

Joanna : What?

===

... ... ..

===

Peter Gibbons : What if we're still doing this when we're fifty?

Samir : It would be nice to have that kind of job security.

[Jan 10, 2020] 30 Trendy Internet Slang Words and Acronyms to Know in 2019

Notable quotes:
"... It's also used ironically ..."
Jan 10, 2020 | www.makeuseof.com
DAE: Does Anyone Else?

What It Means: DAE is generally a prefix for a question, where the person asking wants to know if they are not alone in whatever they are experiencing. It's huge on Reddit, niche forums, and discussion groups, but is not used as regularly elsewhere on the internet. For example :

"DAE use the condensation from their fast food beverage container to clean their hands when a sink is not readily available?"

ELI5: Explain Like I'm 5

What It Means: When someone gives a complex explanation for an event and you need them to dumb it down for you, ask them to "explain it like I'm 5 years old", or ELI5. Most often, it's used to explain science or technology in layman's terms. This is big on Reddit, but not so big on other forums. Here's an example from Hacker News .

ICYMI: In Case You Missed It

What It Means: One of the few times the internet tries to be polite, ICYMI is just a precaution when you aren't sure if other people already know about something, or when you are repeating something you have said before. It's a way of saying, "You might have already seen this, but if not, here you go."

IRL: In Real Life

IRL Sonic pic.twitter.com/2cAQL7gm6y

-- Michael Moran (@TheMichaelMoran) July 5, 2015

What It Means: The internet is the virtual life. People often have a whole second persona online, or keep their real life neatly separated from their online life. If you want to talk about something in your real life, the qualifier "IRL" is enough to let people know.

Lulz: Laughs ("Just for Laughs")

What It Means: Lulz is an off-shoot of LOLs*. Lulz is usually used in the form of "For the lulz", which would be just like saying "for the kicks" or "for the laughs". It's a justification for whatever you're doing or saying; the justification being that it's for a few laughs.

*If you need to know what LOL is, then you should seek out a more basic "internet for Dummies 101" guide than this article.

TL;DR: Too Long; Didn't Read

What It Means: The internet is a treasure trove of detailed information, but sometimes, you haven't got time to read the whole thing. TL;DR was invented to give a quick summary of the content.

YOLO: You Only Live Once

This dude brought his 36" monitor and PC tower into @Starbucks and is killing some online game. Truly special. #yolo pic.twitter.com/aJ5J2cXzRQ

-- Jeremy P. Beasley (@jeremypbeasley) July 2, 2015

What It Means: YOLO is a justification for doing something that you probably shouldn't be doing, but want to do anyway. It's also used ironically as commentary on someone else doing something idiotic.

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The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D


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Last modified: January 10, 2020