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Back in the Goode Olde Days, people spent uncounted hours trying to forecast the future. If they had a cat, they could try felidomancy, which is the art of using cats to predict the future. If they had feet, they could try pedomancy.

Nowadays, people indulge in fedomancy, which is the art of predicting interest rates by observing the Federal Reserve Board. It's a difficult practice.

John Wagooner,
USA Today

God, grant me the capital to accept the things I cannot change; the reserves to change the things I can; and the Fed Auction when all that blows up. Amen.

Calculated Risk

If Her Majesty the Queen wishes to be truly illuminated why most economists failed to see the Crash coming, it's very simple: you get what you pay for: neoclassical economists are mathematicians willing to bent to the dominant ideology: the free-market “religion”. Like all religions, it is showing amazing resilience in the face of empirical evidence. Or in more laymen terms: how those neoclassical sex workers could see it coming, if they all were busy performing oral sex with banksters.

The fact the most economists are intellectual prostitutes is undisputable. What is strange is that they are paid much better then porno stars. What a humiliation for the most ancient profession --

Due to the size financial skeptic dictionary is now converted to a separate page

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A quick calculation… The 2010 Wall Street bonuses
were equal to 2.88 million $50,000 jobs.

[Sep 13, 2019] Clowns, AI and layoffs

Sep 13, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Bugs Bunny , September 13, 2019 at 4:25 pm

Clowns should be increasingly used in redundancy (layoff, firing) meetings until it becomes the norm and employers start to compete with each other to offer the best clown redundancy experience and promote it as a benefit.

It would also create clown jobs, which would probably require more clown schools, meaning that the tuition prices would go through the roof and young people dreaming of becoming redundancy clowns would either have to come from wealth or take out massive clown loans to fund their education for clown universities and grad schools. Shareholders can only take so much top line costs and Wall Street pressure would force corporations to improve return on investment and reduce redundancy clown labor expenses. Sadly, redundancy clowns would find themselves training their own replacements – HB1 clowns from "low cost" countries. Employers would respond to quality criticisms of the HB1 clown experience by publishing survey results showing very similar almost ex-employee satisfaction with the new clowns.

Eventually, of course, redundancy clowns will be replaced by AI and robots. It's just the future and we will need to think about how to adapt to it today by putting in place a UBI for the inevitable redundant redundancy clowns.

[Sep 10, 2019] What s wrong with you people ?

Mar 11, 2014 | independentaustralia.net

[Sep 04, 2019] Economists had 'a far greater sense of confidence in their analyses than I have found to be warranted. They were best kept down with the surplus furniture and the rats

Sep 04, 2019 | www.economist.com

"Few economists worked at the Federal Reserve in the early 1950s. Those who were on the staff of America's central bank were relegated to the basement, at a safe remove from the corridors where real decisions were made.

Economists had their uses, allowed William McChesney Martin, then the Fed's chairman. But they also had 'a far greater sense of confidence in their analyses than I have found to be warranted'. They were best kept down with the surplus furniture and the rats." • Indeed!

[Aug 25, 2019] Trump and the value of the 90 days probation period for any newly elected President

Aug 25, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

youshallnotkill , 2 hours ago link

The markets love nothing more than uncertainty. Anybody who says otherwise is spreading fake news. /s

Serious question: Is he shorting the market? Nobody can be this dumb or demented.

free corn , 2 hours ago link

Never underestimate a comedian!

steverino999 , 2 hours ago link

It's just too bad being elected President doesn't come with a 90-day probationary period that many employers use, because if they did Mike Pence would be considering a 2nd Term run right now.........

[Aug 23, 2019] I believe being oblivious is the main qualification for being a successful mainstream economist.

Notable quotes:
"... I believe being oblivious is the main qualification for being a successful mainstream economist. ..."
Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Skip Intro , , August 23, 2019 at 2:29 pm

I believe being oblivious is the main qualification for being a successful mainstream economist.

[Aug 23, 2019] Poorly targeted is in reality "richly targeted" under neoliberalism

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Samuel Conner , August 23, 2019 at 7:30 am

"Government set to inject more than $1 Trillion into US economy this year, but poorly targeted and still isn't enough to improve the lives of most people".

fixed it.

Elspeth , August 23, 2019 at 11:16 am

"poorly targeted", no no my friend it's benefiting the ususally suspects.

Synoia , August 23, 2019 at 11:23 am

"richly targeted" would be most accurate.

[Aug 23, 2019] Is nonsense economic throes promoted by NYT a deliberate policy or are they really ignorant ?

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

templar555510 , August 23, 2019 at 8:41 am

Spot-on . Whenever I read this nonsense in the NYT or elsewhere I always ask myself the same question ' Is this deliberate or are they really ignorant ? ' . I suspect the latter, but I could be wrong.

MichaelSF , August 23, 2019 at 12:17 pm

There's no reason it can't be both.

[Aug 23, 2019] Austerity is Prosperity

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Ian Perkins , August 23, 2019 at 10:57 am

"War Is Peace, Freedom Is Slavery, Ignorance Is Strength." And if Orwell were still around, perhaps he would add: Austerity is Prosperity.

Synoia , August 23, 2019 at 11:24 am

Warriors are Peacekeepers

[Aug 23, 2019] Checkmate, liberals

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Dr. James Rustler , August 23, 2019 at 2:03 pm

Excuse me, how can the deficit be increasing [with Trump tax cuts]?

I was told that a simple bell curve graph called the 'Laffer Curve' indicates that cutting taxes increases growth which increases revenue. Its simply mathematics.

Checkmate, liberals

[Aug 23, 2019] I remember when Qaddafi was murdered and Libya fell. Within the first day or two a central bank was set up in Libya. And look how well that is working out for them.

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

The Rev Kev , August 23, 2019 at 7:06 pm

Well, Lawrence H. Summers is right to worry when he says "Can central banking as we know it be the primary tool of macroeconomic stabilization in the industrial world over the next decade?"

I remember when Qaddafi was murdered and Libya fell. Within the first day or two a central bank was set up in Libya. And look how well that is working out for them.

[Aug 23, 2019] Investment advice from Wall Street for workers and their 401k just before the Great Recession: "Don't worry about the price. Invest now as much as you can. You can't predict the market "

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Summer , August 23, 2019 at 7:32 pm

"It sure is weird that the labor market is the only place where the magic of the marketplace -- price! -- doesn't work."

I also hear weirdness about price considerations when I read investment advice for workers and their 401ks.
"Don't worry about the price. Invest now as much as you can. You can't predict the market "
(Looks down at Twitter feed).

[Aug 23, 2019] One can hope that Larry Summers will eventually convert to MMT, especially if he get a stipend for that

Aug 23, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Samuel Conner , August 23, 2019 at 2:21 pm

One can hope that Larry S will eventually convert to MMT, but I intuit that if that does happen, it will only be on his deathbed.

Synoia , August 23, 2019 at 2:38 pm

Or when receiving a huge stipend from a MMT adherent.

a different chris , August 23, 2019 at 3:05 pm

Haha so right and we mistakenly claim that economists don't know how the real economy works. They know, and part of that knowledge is that you need to shill the BS for those with the money if you wanna get your own piece of said pie.

[Aug 03, 2019] Perhaps when the PLA finish in hongkong they can come over here and deal with antifa since our government at any level does not appear to have the sense or spine to do it themselves

Aug 03, 2019 | turcopolier.typepad.com

ted richard , 03 August 2019 at 01:22 PM

Hongkong is no longer of great importance for bejing as a financial and trading locus. up and down the south china sea coast are many cities of far greater importance than Hongkong.

perhaps when the PLA finish in hongkong they can come over here and deal with antifa since our government at any level does not appear to have the sense or spine to do it themselves

[Aug 03, 2019] Hell's Top Banker Explains How To Destroy The Global Economy

Some of the other stuff we've encouraged, such as The EU, ETFs, Hi-Frequency Trading, Neil Woodford and Deutsche Bank look likely to be highly effective vectors of short-term economic destruction and destabilization
Aug 03, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

(Edited version of the speech given by the TJ Wormwood, Chief Demonic Officer – Finance, Lord of 3rd Ring of the 7th Circle, to invited audience at Davos.)

Dear Colleagues,

As you all know, I've been wrecking finance for millennia. [Pause for effect]

Nearly every major big idea, evolutionary leap forward, invention and discovery has improved the miserable lot of mankind only through their ability to monetise it. Forget the theft of fire – being able to monetise fire by attracting pretty and willing mates around a warm campfire, or cooking the food others have hunted, is what mattered. Strip out the noise, and the rise of mankind is largely due to improvements in the efficiency and ease of means of exchange.

From the realisation hunters could barter their furs for other goods, to the rise of complex products to finance global growth – the innovation of financial markets has been a major driver of success for the Other Side in raising the wellbeing and prosperity of mankind. Pretty much anything that holds back or disrupts trade, increases costs and holds back services is naturally positive for our goal of global destabilisation.

So, here is the big plan:

Since 2007 we've been turning the Other Side's successful innovation of financial markets against them. Global Financial Markets are incredibly rich in opportunities to distort truth, hide lies, and undermine mankind – generating immediate greed, envy, suspicion and anger. We've uncovered previously unimaginable ways in which to financially screw the World with consequences that impact everyone.

We've overlaid the programme with our mastery and understanding of temptation, human greed, avarice and pride, while adding subtlety and cunning. We merely suggest and advise. We are facilitating the train-wreck of the global economy by destroying asset values while confounding their understanding of money and wealth – the pillars of their society.

At its simplest form we are manipulating and driving constant market instability to keep mankind distracted. Uncertainty clouds their future expectations – so we keep it raining. A Mortgage crisis one year, followed by a Sovereign Debt crisis the next, spiced with a couple of bank failures, and threats of global trade war. Overlay with confusion and distraction such as social media, fake news, Bitcoin and populism, and it all works rather well.

Keep their leaders arguing. Keep the blame game going.

Our success can be seen in current financial asset prices. These are now hopelessly inflated and distorted by foolish post financial crisis policy decisions. They are bubbles set to pop. Empower the regulators and bureaucrats to compromise finance through zealous over-regulation, making banking safer by destroying it. Usher in a new era of trade protectionism, the end of Free Trade and increase the suspicion some countries are manipulating their currencies for economic advantage. Sprinkle some dust of political catastrophe, the collapse of law, undo the fair, just and caring society, while adding some eye of newt and complex environmental threats. Make the rich so rich they don't notice, and the poor so poor they become invisible. If the markets remain uncertain, then it distracts mankind from addressing these issues, making society less stable!

There as some things we're really proud of, including the Euro, Social Media, Investment Banks, the Tech Boom, and especially Quantitative Easing (which is still delivering confusion and pain). New Monetary Theory could prove even better – it shows tremendous potential to thoroughly unsettle confidence in money. Cybercurrencies are particularly fun – despite coming up with the idea, neither we, nor even the distinguished members of our panel of eternal guests, understand the why of them. They are libertarian nonsense – so, naturally we continue to encourage them as get-rich-quick schemes, but they also further undermine confidence in money and government. We made something up in a bar one night and called it a Distributed Ledger - the humans ran with it and invented Blockchain, whatever that might be..

Some of the other stuff we've encouraged, such as The EU, ETFs, Hi-Frequency Trading, Neil Woodford and Deutsche Bank look likely to be highly effective vectors of short-term economic destruction and destabilisation, triggering systemic market events and regulatory backlashes across markets. We are only now exploring the full potential of market illiquidity to rob billions of pensioners of their savings.

We've persuaded investors to overturn proven tried and tested investment strategies and wisdoms, nurturing a whole range of overpriced unprofitable US Tech "Unicorn" companies which we are confident will prove utterly over-hyped and largely worthless. The success of social media, data mining and new tech has increased levels of dissatisfaction and envy – especially in our target younger demography.

The way we successfully pinned the blame on banks for the Global Financial Crisis – despite the fact it was people who wanted mortgages to buy houses and fast cars - ensured global regulators would over-react. We've allowed regulators to focus on banks while we target the next financial crisis in other parts of the financial ecosystem.

Regulators forced the banks to de-risk. But risk does not disappear - it just goes somewhere else. While banks understood risk and had massive staffs to manage risk, risk is now concentrated in the hands of "investment managers" who are singularly ill-equipped to withstand the next credit crunch and global recession, (which we've planned for next October – Save the Date cards have been sent).

We are particularly pleased that many banks now exceed the 2.3 compliance officers for every profitable banker ratio. Compliance and regulatory costs now exceed 10% of income at some European banks – a stunning success and substantially decreasing the efficiency of banking and exchanges.

We've some great new financial ideas we are still experimenting with, some of which show great promise for further weakening society. Facebook Money is going to be a cracker, and I particularly like the Spaceship to Mars project if only they knew what awaits them

By hiding inflation in the stock market, we assisted the accumulation of massive wealth by a tiny percentage of the population to ferment income inequality dissatisfaction. When capital is concentrated and the workers under the cosh, it creates all the right conditions for weak disjointed government to aid and abet the rise of destabilising populism.

It's highly satisfying to watch the instability we've created in financial markets drive fear and distrust across society. The debt crisis we engineered led to global financial austerity, job insecurity, and rising inequality. We were surprised how easily we pushed the Gig economy concept to further exploit and cow workers through regulators and authorities – they barely noticed. Over this we've layered whole new levels of anxiety such as the unknowns of data theft, the rise in envy coefficients through social media, fake news while fuelling social distrust through resentment.

We've managed to persuade Governments to follow damaging and contradictory policies. As society reeled in the wake of the financial crisis, we persuaded policy makers to cut back spending through "austerity" spending programmes, simultaneously bailing out bankers while flooding the financial economy with free money through Quantitative Easing.

Effectively we've split the world into two economies. A real economy which is sad, miserable and deflating, and a financial economy that's insanely optimistic, massively inflated and ripe to pop on the back of free money.

The resentment, instability, fear and general sense of decay has paid dividends in our drive to break society by undermining the credibility of the political classes. Our approach to politics has been simple – deskill the political classes, reduce their effectiveness as leaders, while engineering economic, social and financial instability to drive rampaging populist politics – just like in 1932! Populism may ultimately prove short-lived, but it's difficult to see how the political classes will recover their power in time to reverse the damages being done to the global environment.

While markets have burned, society become increasingly riven, and politics has failed, we've distracted the humans from the rising levels of carbon dioxide in the atmosphere which threatens to create global warming and rising sea levels, while plastics poison the oceans and soil erosion threatens agriculture.

Now I love the ravenous hunger and sharp pointy teeth of polar bears as much as the next demon, but needs must... needs must. I was also rather fond of the dinosaurs...

Our approach to ensuring destructive climate change has proved very effective. We've supported, financed and advised the loudest green lobbies to ensure their message looks ill-considered, wrong and economic suicide. We also paid big bucks to fund the loudest climate change deniers. Our innovation of fake news to discredit and mitigate anything positive means climate change remains a crank topic – even as our polar bears drown.

Meanwhile, through our dominance of global boardrooms and investment firms, we've made sure that large corporates have bought-out and stifled new technologies that could solve the environmental crisis.

Our future looks great – because their future is bleak!

Thank you for your kind attention.

TJ Wormwood,

Demonic Chief Office – Finance

[Jul 22, 2019] When the music stops, in terms of liquidity, things will be complicated

Jul 22, 2019 | jessescrossroadscafe.blogspot.com

"When the music stops, in terms of liquidity, things will be complicated. But as long as the music is playing, you've got to get up and dance. We're still dancing,"

Chuck Prince, CEO Citigroup, July 9, 2007

[Jul 22, 2019] A baited banker

Jul 22, 2019 | jessescrossroadscafe.blogspot.com

"A baited banker thus desponds,
From his own hand foresees his fall,
They have his soul, who have his bonds;
'Tis like the writing on the wall.

How will the caitiff wretch be scared,
When first he finds himself awake
At the last trumpet, unprepared,
And all his grand account to make!

For in that universal call,
Few bankers will to heaven be mounters;
They'll cry, 'Ye shops, upon us fall!
Conceal and cover us, ye counters!'

When other hands the scales shall hold,
And they, in men's and angels' sight
Produced with all their bills and gold,
'Weigh'd in the balance and found light!'

Jonathan Swift, A Run Upon the Bankers

[Jun 10, 2019] If ever there were a candidate who might be inclined to rethink our relationship with the Saudis, it's Buttigieg.

Notable quotes:
"... He would be given a lavish reception in Riyadh, where he would deliver a speech thanking our Saudi allies for leading the brave fight against "Iranian homophobia." ..."
Jun 10, 2019 | turcopolier.typepad.com

Timothy Hagios , 09 June 2019 at 01:49 PM

On the bright side, if ever there were a candidate who might be inclined to rethink our relationship with the Saudis, it's Buttigieg.

Oh, who am I kidding? He would be given a lavish reception in Riyadh, where he would deliver a speech thanking our Saudi allies for leading the brave fight against "Iranian homophobia."

[Jun 10, 2019] Are Bonds Peaking-Interest Rates Bottoming

Jun 10, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

Bam_Man , 3 hours ago link

One year ago, EVERYBODY was a bond "bear", predicting a long string of rate hikes that would bring Fed Funds up to 4.50%.

They were ALL wrong. VERY wrong.

They are probably just as wrong now that they are bond "bulls".

Greenspazm , 1 hour ago link

No, if you use kimble charting technical analysis you will get very rich.

Bam_Man , 1 hour ago link

Undoubtedly.

[Apr 11, 2019] This free, free market

[Apr 03, 2019] The software's reengagement is what doomed everybody aboard Boeing Ethiopian Airlines Flight 302

Apr 03, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

Flankspeed60 , 2 hours ago link

Never thought Boeing would make Tesla look like a bunch of geniuses...

[Mar 19, 2019] "Monopoly" is such an ugly term.

Mar 19, 2019 | crookedtimber.org

Glen Tomkins 03.09.19 at 5:25 pm ( 2 )

"Monopoly" is such an ugly term. We prefer to call it "market power" these days, because of course it's a good thing if the job creators and their enterprises have more power to do all the good things they do for us.

It's clearly class warfare, if not racism, to use the term of abuse, "monopoly", when you mean "market power".

[Mar 06, 2019] The only real growth in the US -

Mar 06, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

1. Opiates/Big Pharma

2. Redundancies

3. John Bolton's harelip cover

[Feb 26, 2019] Gold Is Rallying Because....

Nov 25, 2009

within the Anglo-American sphere of influence .... the dollar had become the new opium trade, viciously addictive and debilitating

[Feb 25, 2019] Nation's Unemployment Outlook Improves Drastically After Fifth Beer

Hat tip to Barry Ritholtz's The Big Picture
Aug 28, 2009 | The Onion

WASHINGTON-Despite ongoing economic woes and a jobless rate that has been approaching 10 percent, U.S. unemployment projections drastically improved Monday after the consumption of five beers.

"It's going up," leading economist David Singleton said confidently, indicating the predicted growth in jobs with an upward wave of a Bud Light bottle. "All the way up. By the end of the month. No problem."

Singleton said the economy would begin its rebound once employers realized that there were many currently unemployed skilled laborers across the country who would "bust their asses" in a number of growing fields.

"Whether it's manufacturing, finance, hospitality, or manufacturing, these dudes trying to reenter the workforce right now have awesome skill sets and, most of all, they really deserve it," he said. "They're great, great guys. All of them."

According to analysts, both long- and short-term forecasts showed signs of recovery between the third and fourth beer...

... Reports from those well on their way toward putting away a whole six pack suggested that unemployed Americans could look forward to increased job security and much higher salaries. In addition, many half-in-the-bag analysts said they foresee greater career satisfaction and massive quality-of-life improvements following the inevitable arrival of new employment opportunities.

"Why should those who've lost work have to live paycheck to paycheck, doing some miserable wage-slave job a goddamn monkey could do?" said Donald Ellington, a completely hammered senior adviser at JPMorgan Chase. "All these layoffs, they're totally a blessing in disguise. Now these people can do the thing they've always wanted to do. Like becoming a sportswriter. Or a musician. Or a pilot, even!"

... Joblessness was not the only domestic problem that began to appear eminently solvable after the rapid downing of five beers. Also substantially improved were projections for the housing crisis, the affordability of health care, getting hot wings later, and being able to drive home just fine.

Though most on their fifth beer showed unbridled optimism-and in some cases outright cockiness-in terms of the employment landscape, those who greatly exceeded that number said they saw the current job market as hopelessly bleak. Contrary to the rosy prospects he had described earlier in the evening, economist David Singleton, after imbibing nine beers and an unknown quantity of Wild Turkey, lamented that there would have to be a comprehensive shift in the nation's entire economic structure before any lasting improvement could be realized.

[Feb 25, 2019] BoE expands QE

Not much changed from 2009
Sep 24, 2009 | FT Alphaville

Robert Mugabe CEO:

In banana republics it´s very common to not only pick bananas, but also print a lot of money. It´s said to be very cool. First you pick bananas, then cut down the trees, produce paper and finally print money on that paper. It´s the whole business cycle. Highly recommended!

[Feb 11, 2019] The so-called shale revolution, the fracking miracle, may have resulted in record oil and gas production in North America, but the real miracle -- in which shale companies make money fracking that oil and gas -- has yet to occur.

Feb 11, 2019 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

While U.S. politicians from both parties have given standing ovations for the U.S. oil and gas industry , investors appear to be losing their enthusiasm. The so-called shale revolution, the fracking miracle, may have resulted in record oil and gas production in North America, but the real miracle -- in which shale companies make money fracking that oil and gas -- has yet to occur.

[Feb 09, 2019] Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell

This 20 year old satire looks like it was written yesterday...
Notable quotes:
"... In the past, the underworld was ill-equipped to handle the new breed of sinners flooding our gates -- downsizing CEOs, focus-group coordinators, telemarketing sales representatives, and vast hordes of pony-tailed entertainment-industry executives ..."
"... Among the tortures the Corpadverticus Circle of Total Bastards boasts: the Never-Ending Drive-Thru Bank, the Bottomless Pit of Promotional Tie-In Keychains, and the dreaded Chamber of Emotionally Manipulative Home Shopping Network Products. ..."
"... condemned TV-exercise-show personalities, clad in skin-tight Spandex outfits soaked in flesh-dissolving acid, are forced to exercise for centuries on end ..."
"... In a nearby area, corporate raiders are forced to carry the golf clubs of uneducated Hispanic migrant workers from hole to hole for eternity, withering under a constant barrage of verbal abuse ..."
"... "In life, I was a Salomon Brothers investment banker," one flame-blackened shade told reporters. "When I arrived here, they didn't know what to do with me. They put me in with those condemned to walk backwards with their heads turned all the way around on their necks, for the crime of attempting to see the future. But then I sent a couple of fruit baskets to the right people, and in no time flat, I secured a cushy spot for myself in the first circle of the Virtuous Unbaptized. Now that was a sweet deal. But before long, they caught on to my game and transferred me here to the realm of Total Bastards. I've been shrieking for mercy like a goddamn woman ever since." ..."
Sep 23, 1998 | home.isi.org

CITY OF DIS, NETHER HELL

After nearly four years of construction at an estimated cost of 750 million souls, Corpadverticus, the new 10th circle of Hell, finally opened its doors Monday.

Tenth Circle Added To Rapidly Growing Hell

The Blockbuster Video-sponsored circle, located in Nether Hell between the former eighth and ninth levels of Malebolge and Cocytus, is expected to greatly alleviate the overcrowding problems that have plagued the infernal underworld in recent years. The circle is the first added to Hell in its countless-millennia history.

"A nightmarishly large glut of condemned spirits in recent years necessitated the expansion of Hell," inferno spokesperson Antedeus said. "The traditional nine-tiered system had grown insufficient to accommodate the exponentially rising numbers of Hellbound."

Adding to the need for expansion, Antedeus said, was the fact that a majority of the new arrivals possessed souls far more evil than the original nine circles were equipped to handle. "Demographers, advertising executives, tobacco lobbyists, monopoly-law experts retained by major corporations, and creators of office-based sitcoms–these new arrivals represent a wave of spiritual decay and horror the likes of which Hell has never before seen," Antedeus said.

Despite the need for expansion, the plan faced considerable resistance, largely due to the considerable costs of insuring construction projects within the Kingdom Of Lies. Opposition also came from Hell purists concerned about the detrimental effect a tenth level would have on the intricate numerology of Hell's meticulously arranged allegorical structure. In 1994, however, funding was finally secured in a deal brokered between Blockbuster CEO Wayne Huizenga and Satan himself.

Prior to the construction of the tenth circle, many among the new wave of sinners had been placed in such circles as Hoarders and Squanderers, Sowers of Discord, Flatterers and Seducers, Violent Against Art, and Hypocrites. Hell authorities, however, say that the new level, the Circle of Total Bastards, located at the site of the former Well of Giants just above the Frozen Lake at Hell's center, better suits their insidious brand of evil.

Frigax The Vile, a leading demonic presence, is one of the most vocal supporters of the new circle.

" In the past, the underworld was ill-equipped to handle the new breed of sinners flooding our gates -- downsizing CEOs, focus-group coordinators, telemarketing sales representatives, and vast hordes of pony-tailed entertainment-industry executives rollerblading and talking on miniaturized cell-phones at the same time. But now, we've finally got the sort of top-notch Pits of Doom necessary to give such repellent abominations the quality boilings they deserve."

Pausing to tear off the limbs of an Access Hollywood host, Frigax added, "We're all tremendously excited about the many brand-new forms of torture and eternal pain this new level's state-of-the-art facilities will make possible."

Among the tortures the Corpadverticus Circle of Total Bastards boasts: the Never-Ending Drive-Thru Bank, the Bottomless Pit of Promotional Tie-In Keychains, and the dreaded Chamber of Emotionally Manipulative Home Shopping Network Products.

The Circle also features a Hall of Aerobics, where condemned TV-exercise-show personalities, clad in skin-tight Spandex outfits soaked in flesh-dissolving acid, are forced to exercise for centuries on end , covered in vomit and prodded with the distended ribs of skeletal, anorexic demons, accompanied by an unending, ear-splittingly loud dance-remix version of the 1988 Rick Astley hit "Together Forever."

In a nearby area, corporate raiders are forced to carry the golf clubs of uneducated Hispanic migrant workers from hole to hole for eternity, withering under a constant barrage of verbal abuse from their former subservients as crows descend from trees to peck at their eyes. In one of the deepest and most profane portions of the circle, unspeakable acts are said to be committed with a mail-order Roly-Kit.

"In life, I was a Salomon Brothers investment banker," one flame-blackened shade told reporters. "When I arrived here, they didn't know what to do with me. They put me in with those condemned to walk backwards with their heads turned all the way around on their necks, for the crime of attempting to see the future. But then I sent a couple of fruit baskets to the right people, and in no time flat, I secured a cushy spot for myself in the first circle of the Virtuous Unbaptized. Now that was a sweet deal. But before long, they caught on to my game and transferred me here to the realm of Total Bastards. I've been shrieking for mercy like a goddamn woman ever since."

His face contorted in the Misery of the Damned, a Disney lawyer said: "It's hell here–there are no executive lounges, I can't get any decent risotto, and the suit I have to wear is a cheap Brooks Brothers knock-off. I'm beeped every 30 seconds, and there's no way to return the calls. Plus, I'm being boiled upside down in lard while jackals gnaw at the soles of my feet. If I could just reach the fax machine on that nearby rock, I could contact some well-placed associates and work something out, but it's just out of my grasp, and it's out of ink and constantly blinking the message, 'Replace Toner Cartridge, Replace Toner Cartridge, Replace Toner Cartridge.'"

He then resumed screaming in agony.

Grogar The Malefic, a Captain in Hell's elite Demon Corps and supervisor in charge of admissions for the new circle, said Hell's future looks bright, thanks to the new circle.

"Things are definitely looking up," Grogar said. "We're now far better equipped, and we're ready to take on the most Unholy Atrocities humanity has to offer."

"We're really on the grow down here," Grogar added. "This is an exciting time to be in Hell."

[Feb 05, 2019] Dad Heartbreakingly Thinks His Connections Can Help Son Find Job

Feb 05, 2019 | local.theonion.com

CLEVELAND -- In a devastatingly sad overestimation of his influence in the professional world, local father Bruce Tenety, 54, expressed the heartbreaking belief Monday that his connections could help his son Justin, a recent college graduate, find a job. "You know, I actually have a friend in the media business, and if you shoot him an email and meet up for coffee, he just might be able to hook you up with something," said Tenety, who depressingly appeared to be under the impression that this tenuous contact from a conference he attended three years ago would not only remember his name, but would also be willing to extend an offer of employment to a 23-year-old he knows nothing about.

"I also know a guy who works at a PR firm in Mayfield Heights. Old Gary definitely owes me one from back in the day.

Hell, you could probably call him up right now and get an interview this week. Just tell him you're Bruce's kid."

At press time, sources confirmed Tenety had noticed his name was suspiciously absent from the references section on his son's most recent job application.

[Feb 05, 2019] Fed's Dudley Explains How I Learned To Stop Worrying Love The Fed's Balance Sheet

Feb 05, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

"Stocks have reached a permanently high plateau", "subprime is contained", "there's no icebergs this far south" and now "The Fed's balance sheet is not the threat that people seem to think it is."

Man's ability to willfully ignore 'downside possibilities' and remain cognitively dissonant far longer than logic (or their pocketbook) should allow seems to know no bound and none other than The Federal Reserve's Bill Dudley just unleashed what could be the piece de resistance of "nothing to see here, move along" agitprop.

fersur , 19 minutes ago link

Great Picture' Cowboying a Nuke while discussing confidence in the FED, quite appropo' !

TRUTH @ 9:00; Plus this week, Friday will be Huge !

Should a seated President jail someone that attempted his Assassination, or a Former President that planned to Nuke the Yellowstone Super Volcano Caldera, or someone that sold email password to China and CC copied all 'to and from' messages including those highly Confidential, or blame a former President for planning 911 False Flag attack, or expose Planned Parenthoods first Amputating tongues for silently shipping in bulk, or expose Democrat history of Decades of Projecting blame while committing War Crimes, or end 19 Year War in Afghanistan ( Longest War ) then Syria against Last Night's Congressional Vote to keep status quo, or 'take a knee' and quit being President !

costa ludus , 42 minutes ago link

Is this from The Onion?

[Jan 29, 2019] Watching stock market moves in December 2018 is like watching Pulp Fiction: halfway through, the violence doesn't even bother you anymore

Notable quotes:
"... "It's like watching 'Pulp Fiction.' Halfway through, the violence doesn't even bother you anymore." ..."
Jan 27, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

Investors are becoming desensitized," Bryce Doty, SVP at Sit Investment Associates, told Bloomberg, then continued the verbal poetry: "It's like watching 'Pulp Fiction.' Halfway through, the violence doesn't even bother you anymore."

[Jan 21, 2019] Sound financial advice

Jan 21, 2019 | www.zerohedge.com

BandGap , 2 hours ago link

Retirement? Hahahahahahahahahaha! Whatever.

in 2008 I switched everything into bonds, didn't lose anything in the market. In 2011 I got divorced and lost 55%. My advice, stay married.

[Jan 04, 2019] Seven habits that help produce the anything-but-efficient markets that rule the world by Paul Krugman in Fortune

1. Think short term.
2. Be greedy.
3. Believe in the greater fool
4. Run with the herd.
5. Overgeneralize
6. Be trendy
7. Play with other people's money

[Jan 03, 2019] The parable of casino capitalism, or neoliberal finance innovative method of weighting the ox via wisdom of the crowd

Jan 03, 2019 | www.amazon.com

In 1906 the great statistician Francis Galton observed a competition to guess the weight of an ox at a country fair. Eight hundred people entered. Galton, being the kind of man he was, ran statistical tests on the numbers. He discovered that the average guess was extremely close to the weight of the ox. This story was told by James Surowiecki, in his entertaining book The Wisdom of Crowds. 2

Not many people know the events that followed. A few years later, the scales seemed to become less and less reliable. Repairs would be expensive, but the fair organiser had a brilliant idea. Since attendees were so good at guessing the weight of an ox, it was unnecessary' to repair the scales. The organiser would simply ask everyone to guess the weight, and take the average of their estimates.

A new problem emerged, however. Once weight-guessing competitions became the rage, some participants tried to cheat. They even tried to get privileged information from the farmer who had bred the ox. But there was fear that, if some people had an edge, others would be reluctant to enter the weight-guessing competition. With few entrants, you could not rely on the wisdom of crowds. The process of weight discovery would be damaged.

So strict regulatory rules were introduced. The farmer was asked to prepare three monthly bulletins on the development of his ox. These bulletins were posted on the door of the market for everyone to read. If the farmer gave his friends any other information about the beast, that information was also to be posted on the market door. And anyone who entered the competition who had knowledge about the ox that was not available to the world at large would be expelled from the market. In this way the integrity of the weight-guessing process would be maintained.

Professional analysts scrutinised the contents of these regulatory' announcements and advised their clients on their implications. They' wined and dined farmers; but once the farmers were required to be careful about the information they' disclosed, these lunches became less useful. Some smarter analysts realised that understanding the nutrition and health of the ox wasn't that useful anyway. Since the ox was no longer being weighed -- what mattered was the guesses of the bystanders -- the key' to success lav not in correctly assessing the weight of the ox but in correctly' assessing what others would guess. Or what other people would guess others would guess. And so on.

Some people -- such as old Farmer Buffett -- claimed that the results of this process were more and more divorced from the realities of ox rearing. But he was ignored. True, Farmer Buffett's beasts did appear healthy and well fed, and his finances ever more prosperous; but he was a countryman who didn't really understand how markets work.

International bodies were established to define the rules for assessing the weight of the ox. There were two competing standards -- generally accepted ox-weighing principles, and international ox-weighing standards. But both agreed on one fundamental principle, which followed from the need to eliminate the role of subjective assessment by any individual. The weight of the ox was officially defined as the average of everyone's guesses.

One difficulty was that sometimes there were few, or even no, guesses of the weight of the ox. But that problem was soon overcome. Mathematicians from the University of Chicago developed models from which it was possible to estimate what, if there had actually been many guesses as to the weight of the ox, the average of these guesses would have been. No knowledge of animal husbandry was required, only a powerful computer.

By' this time, there was a large industry of professional weight-guessers, organisers of weight-guessing competitions and advisers helping people to refine their guesses. Some people suggested that it might be cheaper to repair the scales, but they' were derided: why go back to relying on the judgement of a single auctioneer when you could benefit from the aggregated wisdom of so many clever people?

And then the ox died. Amid all this activity', no one had remembered to feed it.

[Jan 02, 2019] American People Admit Having Facebook Data Stolen Kind Of Worth It To Watch That Little Fucker Squirm

Jan 02, 2019 | www.theonion.com

CHICAGO -- Saying it was ultimately a small price to pay in exchange for the splendid spectacle that has followed, millions of Americans admitted Thursday that they didn't really mind having their Facebook data stolen if it meant getting to watch that little fucker squirm.

[Jan 02, 2019] Jeff Bezos Tables Latest Breakthrough Cost-Cutting Idea After Realizing It's Just Slaves

Jan 02, 2019 | www.theonion.com

SEATTLE -- Deciding at the last minute to hold off due to ethical concerns, Amazon founder and CEO Jeff Bezos reportedly set aside his latest cost-cutting initiative Wednesday after realizing it was actually human slavery. "On the surface, it seemed plausible -- owning our employees' bodies, implementing a mandatory 18-hour workday, restricting their movements, and not compensating them with anything besides minimal food and shelter -- but then it started to sound really familiar in a bad way," said Bezos, who acknowledged his fears were confirmed when Amazon's general counsel kept reporting back that such labor arrangements had been illegal throughout the United States since 1865. "It's too bad; the increased efficiency and cost savings would have been tremendous. And now I have to go explain to our shareholders why I spent $1.8 million outfitting all of our managers with bullwhips, shackles, and branding irons." Bezos went on to describe the setback as temporary, saying it wouldn't matter in five to 10 years when his entire workforce was robots.

[Dec 31, 2018] New is well forgotten old

The following cartoon from 2008 illustrated this point nicely

Trump promises vs reality: employment options

[Dec 27, 2018] 'Trickle down effect' and pub test

Dec 27, 2018 | discussion.theguardian.com

Phoroneus57 , 3 Jun 2018 23:03

'Trickle down effect' - the favourite buzzword of neoliberal supporters. I'd like to see trickle down effect tried at the local pub on the taps by the local mp. Imagine what would happen. Definitely doesn't pass the pub test.

[Dec 26, 2018] You might say that neoliberalism borrows from economics only in the sense that astrology borrows from astronomy.

Dec 26, 2018 | mainlymacro.blogspot.com

phayes , 23 January 2014 at 03:51

That'd be like astronomers saying that although Hellenic astrology is pseudoscientific nonsense they can probably do business with Ptolemaic or Hindu astrology. Other scientists would laugh and call astronomy the dismal physics. Isn't it about time economists like yourself just told the knuckle dragging ideologues - of whatever colour and salinity - to fuck off?

Anonymous , 23 January 2014 at 04:12

Who is an economist who is not an ideologue?

[Dec 4, 2018] Something good in the USA future

rafael martorell , says: December 4, 2018 at 12:01 pm GMT

As Chalmers Johnson once said upon his wife question if he can see something good in the USA future: " yes ,the financial collapse"

Why did the stock market suffer its deepest plunge since October on Tuesday Here's an interesting theory

John, 7 hours ago
It's very simple and follows a familiar pattern:
  1. America has a problem, and,
  2. Trump claims to be able to solve the problem, and,
  3. Trump goes somewhere, and talks to somebody, and then later claims, contrary to what the other party is saying, that he has solved the problem, and, then
  4. The problem later turns out NOT to be solved.

[Dec 04, 2018] The best way to double your money is to fold it in half and put it back in your wallet. ~Benjamin Franklin

[Nov 22, 2018] Here's one for all those who say, indignantly, "US debt is not 100% of GDP". No, that's right; it's not.

Nov 22, 2018 | thenewkremlinstooge.wordpress.com

Mark Chapman November 14, 2018 at 8:46 pm

Here's one for all those who say, indignantly, "US debt is not 100% of GDP". No, that's right; it's not.

https://seekingalpha.com/article/4221893-liquidity-bubble-pops-face-biggest-crisis-yet

[Nov 17, 2018] Goldman Sachs CEO is "personally outraged" at criminal behavior in his bank

I guess he thinks Lloyd Blankfein god is a real greedy thief that would screw people for a dollar.
Nov 17, 2018 | caucus99percent.com
disreputable behavior in his bank.

... ... ...

Ah, yes. Goldman Sachs is famous for their "good work and integrity".

The US Department of Justice (DOJ) has said about $4.5 billion was misappropriated from 1MDB, including some money that Goldman Sachs helped raise, by high-level officials of the fund and their associates from 2009 through 2014.

US prosecutors filed criminal charges against 2 former Goldman Sachs bankers earlier this month. One of them, Tim Leissner, pleaded guilty to conspiracy to launder money and conspiracy to violate the Foreign Corrupt Practices Act.

I'm sure it was just a "few bad apples", like Goldman Sachs's Ex-CEO Lloyd Blankfein , who was personally involved in the transaction.
You might remember Lloyd from his doing "God's Work" .

[Oct 12, 2018] The Fundamentals are Strong!

Oct 10, 2018 | angrybearblog.com

"The fundamentals and future of the U.S. economy remain incredibly strong."

[Jun 28, 2018] Oil will never be above $44 WTI in my lifetime.

Jun 28, 2018 | peakoilbarrel.com

shallow sand x Ignored says: 06/27/2018 at 2:29 pm

"Oil will never be above $44 WTI in my lifetime."

Dennis Gartman.

[Jan 06, 2016] "The CEO of your company has probably already earned your 2016 salary this year" [WaPo].

Calling this tightening is like looking at a guy with a 28 inch waist walking around in 38 inch pants, and saying his pants have been tightened because they they were taken in to 37 inches.

Dan Kervick, , December 16, 2015 at 03:51 PM
Oh the humanity! It will now cost banks a quarter penny more to borrow an extra dollar of all those extra reserves that they don't need.

https://research.stlouisfed.org/fred2/graph/?g=2SWO

Calling this tightening is like looking at a guy with a 28 inch waist walking around in 38 inch pants, and saying his pants have been tightened because they they were taken in to 37 inches.

[Jan 01, 2016] Economics Joke Time

| naked capitalism
Posted on by

... ... ...

The Standup Economist has a routine that has become a classic:

And of course, there are the economist variants of the lightbulb joke, originating in a 1994 Wharton Journal, as later recapped in Forbes:

Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A1: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself.

A2: None. If it really needed changing, market forces would have caused it to happen.

A3: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.

A4: None. There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place.

A5: None. Because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter!!!

A6: None. They're all waiting for the unseen hand of the market to correct the lighting disequilibrium.

tony, December 30, 2015 at 6:12 am

Q: What do you call an economist that makes a prediction?

A: Wrong.

ben, December 30, 2015 at 3:28 pm

Two economists are walking on the street. They notice a pile of horseshit, and the older one says to the younger one: "I'll pay you twenty thousand if you eat that." The younger one ponders for a moment, then agrees and eats it. They walk a bit more and run into another pile of horse feces. So the younger one tells the elder: "I'll pay you twenty thousand if you eat that!". The older economist considers the offer and starts eating. After a while the younger economists stops and asks: "What was the point of this? We both ate a pile shit and neither of us got richer." The older one answers: "What are you talking about? We both produced and received twenty thousand worth in income and services."

GDP. Great deposits of poo.

Clive, December 31, 2015 at 5:41 am

"This economy is really terrible."

"How bad is the economy?"

"The economy is so bad, this year oysters are making fake pearls…"

"The economy is so bad, organised crime just laid off 10 judges…"

(and so on)

Paul Jonker-Hoffrén, December 30, 2015 at 7:27 am

"Knock Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"It's Return to Growth!"

Two years later…

"Knock Knock!"

"Who's there?"

"It's Return to Growth!"

And ad finitum…

Clive, December 30, 2015 at 6:21 am

"Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

"Janet Yellen"

"Well there's no need to shout, I heard you knocking"

Joaquin Closet, December 30, 2015 at 7:42 am

The number of economists is the only thing that contradicts the Law of Supply and Demand.

craazyboy, December 30, 2015 at 9:00 am

Q: How many economists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three. A micro-economist to hold the ladder, a macro-economist to rotate the room, and a university economist to develop the math model and forecast how long it will take.

Ulysses, December 30, 2015 at 9:56 am

A mathematician, an accountant and an economist apply for the same job at an oil company.

The interviewer calls in the mathematician and asks "What do two plus two equal?" The mathematician replies "Four." The interviewer asks "Four, exactly?" The mathematician looks at the interviewer hard and says "Yes, four, exactly."

Then the interviewer calls in the accountant and asks the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The accountant says "On average, four – give or take ten percent, but on average, four."

Then the interviewer calls in the economist and poses the same question "What do two plus two equal?" The economist gets up, locks the door, closes the shade, sits down next to the interviewer and says, "What do you want it to equal"?

Paul Tioxon, December 30, 2015 at 10:02 am

What do you call a cruise ship sinking with 500 PhD economists chained below deck?

A good start.

allan, December 30, 2015 at 10:03 am

Frederic Mishkin.

Yves Smith, December 30, 2015 at 4:32 pm

Oh, that is good!

Paul

An economist is someone who will tell you tomorrow why what they predicted yesterday didn't happen today.

An economist, a physicist, and an engineer are stranded on an island with a can of food, and no opener.

The engineer says, "Let's smash the can open with a rock and eat".
The physicist replies, "Naw, that's going to splatter the food all over the place. Let's light a fire, the expanding gases will force the can to pop open and presto: warm food!"
The economist says, "Bad idea: the can will explode and the food will be all over the place. Now… let's assume we have a can opener…."

Blue Meme

A physician, an engineer, and an economist were discussing who among them belonged to the oldest profession. The physician said, "Remember, on the sixth day God took a rib from Adam and fashioned Eve, making him the first surgeon. Therefore, medicine is the oldest profession."

The engineer replied, "But, before that, God created the heavens and earth from chaos, thus he was the first engineer. Therefore, engineering is an older profession than medicine."

Then, the economist spoke up. "Yes," he said, "But who do you think created the chaos?"

aj

The First Law of Economists: For every economist, there exists an equal and opposite economist.
The Second Law of Economists: They're both wrong.

fresno dan

Pareto's law of optimal economic theory:
an economic theory has reached an optimal state when no other economist can make it wronger

pat b

The Third Law of Economists : The two economists theories don't add up.

twonine

"Economics is extremely useful as a form of employment for economists."
― John Kenneth Galbraith

gordon

JKG has some excellent one-liners. My favourite:

"The trouble with competition is that in the end somebody wins."

Joe Hill

"Again, since I'm not an economist I really have no idea what the wrong solution is."

~ @RudyHavenstein

Ramanan

[The financial crisis is worse than thought …]

James Hacker: Bernard, Humphrey should have seen this coming and warned me.

Bernard Woolley: I don't think Sir Humphrey understands economics, Prime Minister; he did read Classics, you know.

James Hacker: What about Sir Frank? He's head of the Treasury!

Bernard Woolley: Well I'm afraid he's at an even greater disadvantage in understanding economics: he's an economist.

– Yes Prime Minister, A Real Partnership

JEHR

More economist jokes here: http://www3.nd.edu/~jstiver/jokes.htm

flora

Economists: purveyors of fictions upon which the superstructure of organized robbery is raised.
(apologies to Ambrose Bierce)

Synoia

Q: What do you call an Economist who tells the truth?

A: Unemployed.

Ivy

If you laid all the economists end to end,

it would probably be a good thing.

They still wouldn't reach a conclusion.

ben

A farmer and two bankers are shipwrecked on an island. Two weeks later help finally arrives. The bankers greet their rescuer who remarks how well they look.

BankerA: "we realised the potential of the natural resources on this island were tremendous".

BankerB: "I created some fiat money, we divided it up. I lent BankerA ten times my share for a coconut farm startup, he invested ten times his share in an accountancy startup."

Rescuer: "well that's amazing, only where is it all, I don't see any produce – how did you actually survive?"

BankerA: "We each used our debt to invest in futures given the fertile land it was clear the land could generate wealth once labour was applied. We both realised significant paper profits. Oh and we ate the farmer"

--

Bankers live off our backs.

Nortino

What did the supply curve say to the demand curve?

If you shift a little to the right, I'll give you some more of what you want.

_________

Why did the economist cross the road?

Because his models predicted he would.

TG

"Market Failure" is the name that economists who believe that the market cannot ever fail use when the market fails.

Synoia

Hmm, it seems you should take your own advice to heart. :-)

What is a person called who claims to predict the future and has a history of 100% failure in predictions?

a) A Charlatan
b) An Economist
c) A prophet

afreeman

In the same vein:
econ entropy: money invented from hot air evaporates, what do you expect?

Warren

"Economists put decimal points in their forecasts to show that they have a sense of humour"
- William Gilmore Simms (https://twitter.com/TheBrowser/status/680887672890589184?s=17)

TG

How many economists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Only one, but the lightbulb has to be hanging from the ceiling. Because economists can only screw things up.

Minnie Mouse

It takes one economist to change a light bulb and take the entire power grid down.

James McFadden

"Did you ever think that making a speech on economics is a lot like pissing down your leg? It seems hot to you, but it never does to anyone else." Lyndon Johnson

[Dec 17, 2015] Thursday Humor Lawyer For Martin Shkreli Hike Fees 5,000%

Zero Hedge

A bit of humor, via The New Yorker:

A criminal lawyer representing Turing Pharmaceuticals chief Martin Shkreli has informed his client that he is raising his hourly legal fees by five thousand per cent, the lawyer has confirmed.

Minutes after Shkreli's arrest on charges of securities fraud, the attorney, Harland Dorrinson, announced that he was hiking his fees from twelve hundred dollars an hour to sixty thousand dollars.

Shkreli, who reportedly received the news about the price hike while he was being fingerprinted, cried foul and accused his attorney of "outrageous and inhumane price gouging."

"This is the behavior of a sociopath," Shkreli was heard screaming.

For his part, Shkreli's lawyer was unmoved by his client's complaint. "Compared to what he pays for an hour of Wu-Tang Clan, sixty thou is a bargain," he said.

Brokenarrow

this boy dont know it yet. he is in trouble. he gonna take the heat for a lot of americans being angry at scam street, corzine, obama. he is a diversion. if they kill him in rikers? wouldnt surprise me a bit.

slaughterer

This turn of events was fairly predictable Shrkeli is a safe scapegoat for US envy/hatred of just about everything. Surprised Martin did not see this coming and move to Shanghai well beforehand.

Blankenstein

Gotta have a scapegoat when you quietly overturn cases on the BIG BOYS.

SAC insder trading

http://www.wsj.com/articles/u-s-attorney-moves-to-dismiss-insider-tradin...

GE Capital municipal bong rigging

http://www.bondbuyer.com/issues/122_230/bid-rigging-convictions-for-thre...

Blankenstein

The 'GE Three' Go Free

"Then came a surprise last week, right before Thanksgiving. A federal judge ordered the men released from prison. An appeals court had reversed their convictions the day before, without explanation"

"Carollo, Goldberg and Grimm each had been convicted on multiple counts of conspiracy to commit wire fraud. Prosecutors accused them of paying kickbacks to brokers hired by cities and towns to oversee the bidding on municipal-investment contracts, which local governments use to invest the proceeds from bond sales. Goldberg was sentenced to four years in prison. Carollo and Grimm got three years each."

http://www.bloombergview.com/articles/2013-12-05/the-ge-three-go-free

[Dec 15, 2015] New York - New York

Goldilocks

"this town deserves a better class of criminal"

The Dark Knight - The Joker - Everything Burns - HQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qMkkfuSizc4 (1:26)

[Dec 11, 2015] Demise of the US Middle Class Now Official

naked capitalism

Jim Haygood, December 10, 2015 at 1:11 pm

Hey, I was thinking the same thing, Johnny. This chart (from the Ambrose E-P article about China in today's links) shows that the US dollar took a mighty leap as the Asian crisis launched:

http://i.telegraph.co.uk/multimedia/archive/03522/dollar_index_3522515b.jpg

And it's doing it again since mid-2014, as J-Yel tightens while the rest of world plays competitive devaluation.

*sigh*

Maybe we can work as gardeners, trimming the hedges in front of the Federal Reserve Bank (and planting a little cannabis in the flowerbeds, now that it's legal in DC).

They're certainly not going to hire us to polish the gold bullion, as (1) they don't trust us, and (2) probably the gold paint would rub off of the tungsten core.

polecat, December 10, 2015 at 6:04 pm

that gives me an idea for new federal reserve crest/shield design…… three pot leaves in the upper diagonal w/ a gold trimmed tungsten bar in the lower side!

[Dec 09, 2015] Almost 70% Of US Stocks Are Below Their 200-Day Moving-Average Zero Hedge

Sudden Debt

Cramer did say yesterday that it's a buyers market and he doesn't understand why anybody would be a seller... :)

He just doomed the market!

[Oct 02, 2015] Economist's View 'Job Growth Weakens in September'

Dean Baker:
Job Growth Weakens in September:

Vile Content said...

plunge in oil prices is taking a large toll on the formerly booming mining sector. In addition, the high dollar
"
~~Dean Baker~

Oil costs less when dollar is strong? No lie! When $$$$ buy more of oil our trucking industry is booming? No S Dick Tracy! We now need 40,000 more of teamsters to drive our parked 18 wheeler-s? More truck driving slots than drivers? Because of strong $$$$? Increased labour demand through the magic of deflation! Look!

If you qualify for truck driver job, you can complete training without going into 6 figure debt, without having to pledge a fraternity, and without having to learn the words to your school's fight song. Plus, you get to see the entire 48 states without booking a flight, get to meet beautiful young waitresses at the truck stop that serves delicious slow food. Think of it! Now you get to relax in a modern truck where you can listen to country-and-Western's newest talent plus more much more.

All this and more from

the magic of deflation

[Oct 02, 2015] Fashionably Lean of Thought

Jesse's Café Américain

[Sep 25, 2015] That is brilliant - so Turing Pharmaceuticals is a classical - wait for it - parasitic infection!

reason, Friday, September 25, 2015 at 01:25 AM

"Item: Rights to a drug used to treat parasitic infections were acquired by Turing Pharmaceuticals, which specializes not in developing new drugs but in buying existing drugs and jacking up their prices. In this case, the price went from $13.50 a tablet to $750. ..."

That is brilliant - so Turing Pharmaceuticals is a classical - wait for it - parasitic infection!

[Sep 24, 2015] I love free markets

See also http://store.counterpunch.org/michael-hudson-episode-19-2/

[Sep 20, 2015] The American Dream By The Provocateur Network - YouTube

A simple animated explanation of HOW the private Federal Reserve steals your money and WHY it must be stopped

[Sep 16, 2015] Axel Merk Warns Investors Are In For A Rude Awakening Zero Hedge

Q: What's an investor? I know other terms such as manipulators, riggers, fixers, front runners, fraudsters, ponzi schemers, inside traders, spoofers, scammers, front men, bagmen, market makers, interventionists, plunge protectors, rehypothecators and Corzined... But who is Investor and what do they do?

A: Real investors invest in politicians.

[Sep 16, 2015] WTI Crude Soars Above $47 As Algos Finally Read DoE Report

Sep 16, 2015 | Zero Hedge

It appears the machines decided to read the whole DOE report after all... and run some more stops.

[Sep 07, 2015] Why The New Car Bubble's Days Are Numbered

' Yes I can! '
Sep 07, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Never One Roach

<< Consumers focused on the dollar amount of their monthly payment have taken advantage of low interest rates to sometimes buy more car than they might otherwise be able to afford. >>

Well, of course, I'm going to buy the Biggest chartreuse Escalade I can! I got to fill that 4.872 sf subprime house garage with something.

' Yes I can! '

[Sep 05, 2015] Fed Watch If You Ever Wondered Whose Side The Federal Reserve Is On...

Economist's View

Julio said...

Rasputin explained why the Fed must raise rates before the next recession, so it can lower them later:

"Certainly our Savior and Holy Fathers have denounced sin, since it is the work of the Evil One.
But how can you drive out evil except by sincere repentance?
And how can you sincerely repent if you have not sinned?"

[Aug 29, 2015] Why The Great Petrodollar Unwind Could Be $2.5 Trillion Larger Than Anyone Thinks

Aug 29, 2015 | Zero Hedge

cherry picker

It is humorous to note that the words "In God We Trust" are printed on the greenback.

Does that mean "In God We Trust" is only true if there is money?

If there is no money you can't trust "God" anymore?

A few decades ago all the evangelicals were always crying for donations to help with "God's Work" and Goldman Sach's states it is doing "God's" work too.

I think that may be a problem for many. They may feel God can't do anything without money, which strips the divine out of the "God" belief, doesn't it?

For many, God is the big financier in the sky :)

[Aug 26, 2015] What If The Crash Is As Rigged As Everything Else

Beam Me Up Scotty

I'm not so sure. This article might be spot on. Consider this:

Federal Reserve can print and create INFINITE digital and physical dollars. With infinite dollars, they can control EVERYTHING. Both UP and DOWN. We can't audit the Fed, how do you know their balance sheet is really 4 trillion? Because they say so? They could literally decide the prices of every single thing in dollar terms with unlimited dollars at their disposal.

messymerry

Yo pods, next time you get a bag of M&Ms, eat the red ones first,,,

;-D

I don't think the Skxawng in charge have the organizational capability to pull off an event of this magnitude with any reasonable expectation of success. They manipulate where they can and surf the waves just like the rest of us...

Fahque Imuhnutjahb

...With the announcement of 'Merika's "ownership society", a huge housing bubble was blown, then popped. Who's to blame?, the ignorant borrowers

(akin to 4 year old climbing on the counter to get to the cookie jar), or the lenders to the lenders (akin to the parent standing back ,watching

the 4 year old scaling the precarious chair to get to the cookie jar 30 minutes before suppertime.)?

When the kid falls, busting the cookie jar, the parent rushes in eats the cookies, then raids the kids piggy bank to pay for the jar, then charges the

kid for the band-aids for the kids knees and elbows. DISASTER CAPITALISM

PTR

Russian roulette only they point the gun at your head, not theirs.

That, sir, is an awesome quote and should be used repeatedly.

[Aug 22, 2015] 330 Ramp Capital™ on Twitter @BarbarianCap not what I'm seeing

Carnage Worst Week For Stocks In 4 Years, VIX Soars Most Ever

Zero Hedge
J S Bach

Rinnnnnng....

"Hello?"

"Hi, uh... Janet? Lloyd here again."

"Shalom, Lloyd."

"Yeah... whatevevah... shalom to you, too. Hey, we've had a pretty serious drop in the ma-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard. So how much do you need this time?"

"I dunno, maybe a couple hundred billion?"

"Sigh. Okay... you'll have to wait til Monday though. I'll have to call Evelyn in the City to get approval on this one. Shouldn't be a problem."

"Thanks, gworgeous. We'll have to get together soon and toast QE with a little Manischewitz".

"xo"

* click *

Ness.

For the love of God - if there was ever a perfect song for today - Steely Dan nails it. Enjoy Black Friday boyz!

When Black Friday comes
I'll stand down by the door
And catch the grey men when they
Dive from the fourteenth floor


When Black Friday comes
I'll collect everything I'm owed
And before my friends find out
I'll be on the road

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=q1ZV4Mx7tw8

[Aug 13, 2015] US Shale Declining and OPEC Still Climbing - Peak Oil BarrelPeak Oil Barrel

"...Can't hurt one bit to pray for some relief from all of those mounting monetary losses. If anybody has money to bail out the oil conglomerates, God does. Maybe Goldman Sachs too, since they do God's work."
Ronald Walterm 08/11/2015 at 2:49 pm
Maybe the oil corps could get together on a Sunday morning in a church somewhere and have a prayer session to pray for higher oil prices. Realtors did when the housing crisis stuck them with a bag to hold.

Dear Lord, please help us by buying more oil. Surely, Lord, there must be a need for a couple of million barrels of oil each day in heaven that You can buy to ease our financial burdens. Lord, hear our prayer.

Can't hurt one bit to pray for some relief from all of those mounting monetary losses. If anybody has money to bail out the oil conglomerates, God does. Maybe Goldman Sachs too, since they do God's work.

God might tell the oil corps to go straight to hell, if so, then Goldman can answer all those prayers being they do God's work too. All it takes is money and the prayers are answered.

Har

MarbleZeppelin, 08/11/2015 at 4:17 pm
That's right Ron, the oil companies' guardian angels will make a deal with the devil to produce a lot of abiogenic petroleum and suddenly the old fields will be oozing the stuff out again. Gushers galore on Monday morning. The banks will get the notice from the devil to fund more drilling and away we go, happy motoring for another fifty years.

Paul Craig Roberts The Eroding Character Of The American People Zero Hedge

OldPhart

OK, yesterday, 7/23/2015, I was sent to a Federal Pen, I spent five hours there doing mock job interviews. (This is the place that had Johnny Taliban for a while..

Me: "What was you're former occupation?"

Him: "I was a bank robber. There wasn't enough money in it, that's why I'm here."

Me: "What do you mean a bank robber? That 's been legalized since 2008! Call your fucking lawyer!!"

[Jul 24, 2015] Lloyd Blankfein becomes a billionaire [Bloomberg]. See what happens when you've got a President who will stand between you and the pitchforks?

Lloyd Blankfein becomes a billionaire [Bloomberg]. See what happens when you've got a President who will stand between you and the pitchforks?
Jul 24, 2015 | naked capitalism

Lloyd Blankfein becomes a billionaire [Bloomberg]. See what happens when you've got a President who will stand between you and the pitchforks?

[Jul 24, 2015] Nomura on Q2 GDP and Annual Revision

"... So anyway, what's the evidence that professional economists who publish research notes for large firms really understand the actual economy? Have these guys at Nomura ever gotten the big picture right when it really matters? If they had, why would they be telling us?..."
Rob Dawg wrote on Fri, 7/24/2015 - 12:32 pm
...some factors such as low energy prices and the strong dollar likely continued to weigh on business activity.

Raise hands. How many here think low energy prices weighed on business activity?

Wisdom Seeker wrote on Fri, 7/24/2015 - 12:43 pm

So anyway, what's the evidence that professional economists who publish research notes for large firms really understand the actual economy? Have these guys at Nomura ever gotten the big picture right when it really matters? If they had, why would they be telling us?

poicv2.0 wrote on Fri, 7/24/2015 - 12:43 pm

It seems pretty logical that all that savings from lower oil price is going to result in consumers buying more IPhones, Yukon Denalis with 25" spinner rims and new housing.

[Jul 23, 2015] Onion Explains The Rise Of China

Jul 23, 2015 | The Onion

How do you build the world's second-largest economy? The Onion explains China's growth.

[Jul 22, 2015] Short tutorial on Neoliberalism

Man Pushed Off Plate Of Chicken Wings By Larger Male

[Jul 10, 2015] Sweet smell of napalm fracking

allan July 9, 2015 at 2:30 pm

From the Department of What Could Possibly Go Wrong:
Group Tries to Bypass NYS Fracking Ban By Using Gel Propane
At least farmers won't then be irrigating using fracking wastewater!

Peter Pan July 9, 2015 at 3:26 pm

So would this be considered a sort of napalm fracking?

sufferinsuccotash July 9, 2015 at 3:40 pm

The smell of victory!

[Jul 10, 2015] Trump'd

"...This is bordering on hero worship with this guy and, frankly, I think that's dangerous. That's exactly how the Ds ended up shoving Obama down everyone's throat and look how lousy that turned out."
Jul 9, 2015 | Zero Hedge

Republican preferences of Presidential candidates ;-)

1st choice 2nd choice
Donald Trump

15%

12%

Jeb Bush 11% 7%
Rand Paul 11% 7%

nmewn

Trump filed for bankruptcy protection in 1991, 1992, 2004 and 2009. I have zero interest in putting him in charge of anything remotely connected to my prosperity or posterity.

But I will say this, with Hillary! the current frontrunner, fully 98% of democrats are insane ;-)

Paveway IV

Witht that kind of experience, we should make him president of Puerto Rico.

Not My Real Name

Trump is too much of an ego maniac to have that kind of power.

You mean like Obama?

Gold...Bitches

Wrong. The popularity of Trump and Sanders is they are actually talking reality versus the papsmear crapola that comes out of the mouths of the corporate polititcians from both sides. They also actually have policies that appeal to the majority of the people in their respective parties. Most people oppose the crony trade deals that get signed that do nothing for the people yet enrich the CEO and the politician that passes the bill after they are out and get massive "speaking" fees. Not the corporatists such as Bush and Hillary - never met a trade deal favorable to corporations they didnt like. Quid, meet Pro and Quo.

Southpark said it best regarding voting and elections: But Stan, don't you know, it's always between a giant douche and a turd sandwich. Nearly every election since the beginning of time has been between some douche and some turd. They're the only people who suck up enough to make it that far in politics."

chosen

Thanks for the heads up. Is there any candidate that is not in AIPAC's pocket?

[Jun 09, 2015] People and Power – The Technology Threat

Jun 09, 2015 | naked capitalism

Ep3, June 8, 2015 at 6:15 am

Yves, my first level accounting professor told me to minor in computers, and he was tremendously correct. All accounting today relies on database management, either SQL or some close cousin.

Sure, u still have to be able to put together a balance sheet and P&L. But the more u can automate that, the less the traditional accounting function is needed.

sam s smith, June 8, 2015 at 1:08 pm

Automation has been very useful to accounting fraud.

[May 15, 2015] Fed-Up Employee Just About 14 Years Away From Walking Out Door

The Burning Platform

WALTHAM, MA-Frustrated with a growing list of unacceptable workplace indignities, fed-up Catamount Systems employee Marc Holden is just about 14 years away from walking out the front door of his office and never returning, sources confirmed Thursday. "I swear to God, if things don't improve around here real fast, I am out of here in 14 years or so-I am not bluffing," Holden said, noting that if he has to endure just a decade and a half more of company-wide incompetence and pointless micromanagement, he is gone for good. "Seriously, I don't think I can take any more than 3,000 more days of this before I snap. Mark my words, if 2029 rolls around and it's still the same old shit around here, I'm cleaning out my desk, getting on that elevator, and never coming back."

Holden added that if his boss belittled him in front of the entire staff just 200 more times, he would storm right into his office and tell him exactly where he can stick it.

[Apr 14, 2015] Levitation of the US financial market

Hat tip to Jesse

[Mar 28, 2015] The confidence fairy seems to have turned into a confidence witch

Economist's View

Gloomy European Economist, Francesco Saraceno:

The Confidence Witch: ...The confidence fairy seems to have turned into a confidence witch. One more victim of the crisis. But this one will not be missed

... ... ...

pgl said...

Maybe this should be called the Confidence Bitch.

kthomas said in reply to pgl...

The Confidence the Clown.

[Mar 19, 2015] Dollar Flash Crashes Currency Market Pulverized As Dollar Implodes After Close

Zero Hedge

MillionDollarBonus

This is just short term noise. Long term Dollar investors aren't going to be swayed by this, and neither should you. A strong dollar is a fundamental part of our Federal Reserve's dual mandate, and we're lucky to have a Federal Reserve chariwoman that understands this. We also need to dispel this myth that lower interest rates mean a weaker dollar - this empirically isn't the case.

The reason our economy continues to grow is precisely because of low interest rates fueling aggregate demand, which in turn strengthens the dollar. These are some basic elementary economic facts that Zerohedgers just cant seem to understand.

MillionDollarBonus

Doomers on this site should consider the enourmous cost of their pessimism and far-right ideologies. There are some incredible health benefits to believing in government, which many of you would be wise to consider. People who believe in government have more peace of mind, produce less cortisol (the stress hormone), worry less, and are far more likely to enjoy their lesuire time. All of these benefits reduce the risk of stress related diseases. Just look up the statistics - if you look at the disparity between government employees and private sector employees the effects are even more extreme.

[Feb 1, 2015] CBS Follies Every Breath You Take Lyrics

See also YouTube - Every Breath Bernanke Takes. It's really high qaulity parody... The lead performer's name is Michael O'Rorke. MBA 2006... Poor Helicopter Ben :-). 4:15pm
Feb 1, 2008 | The Big Picture

reported that the WSJ's Marketbeat was just as amused:

Glenn Hubbard: King of Pain

Today's best four minutes of the day: an uproarious parody of the Police's "Every Breath You Take" by students at Columbia Business School, which purports to show the school's dean, Glenn Hubbard -- and, no, that is not Mr. Hubbard, the school confirms, but a look-alike student -- taking Fed Chairman Ben Bernanke to task for monetary policy mistakes (in a fit of jealousy over not getting the position). It's hard to resist the charm of any attempt to poke at the Fed, especially one that includes the couplet "Hope your models break/bet that beard is fake." The real Mr. Hubbard was traveling and could not be reached for comment.

April 26, 2006 [George W. Bush:] "Ben Bernanke is the right man to build on the record that Alan Greenspan has established. I will urge the Senate the act promptly to confirm Ben Bernanke as the fourteenth Chairman of the Federal Reserve."

Every breath you take
Every change of rate
Jobs you don't create
While we still stagflate
I'll be watching you\

Every single day
Bernanke takes my pay
When growth goes away
Inflation will stay
I'll be watching you

Oh can't you see?
The Fed's where I should be
How my poor heart aches
With each of your mistakes

First you move your lips
Hike a few more BPS
When demand then dips
And the yield curve flips
I'll be watching you

Since you came supply's lost without a trace
I dream at night that I punch you in the face
Your interest policies I cannot embrace
I feel so wronged and I long for Greenspan's place
I keep cryin': Benny! Benny! Please...

Oh can't you see?
The Fed Chair should be me
How my poor heart aches
When prices escalate

Every move you make
Every oath you take
Hope your models break
Bet that beard is fake
I'll be watching you

CBS is great
Wouldn't change my fate
But we'll be watching you
We'll be watching you

[Jan 30, 2015] Crude Oil Prices Are Spiking (Again)

Zero Hedge

buzzsaw99

top cnbc headline: Why crude won't rebound any time soon

Frank N. Beans

If lower oil prices were great for consumers, then higher oil prices indicate that the economy is expanding, which is also great for consumers. Win Win!

(this is sarcasm)

[Jan 29, 2015] The Pros & Cons Of Fracking

Zero Hedge
Gas prices are plummeting across America thanks in part to the country doubling its daily oil exports, which is made possible by chemical fracturing technology that scientists have said wreaks havoc on the environment. Here are some pros and cons of fracking:

Pros

Cons

SilverIsKing

I like the fact that you can use the word in so many ways. Some examples...

Frack you!

Frack me!

I don't know what that fracking means.

Abso-fracking-lutely!

How the frack are you?

What the frack?

I'm gonna fracking beat the crap out of you!

I fracked that bitch last night.

I'm so fracked!

Frack off!

You're a fracking genius!

She's so fracking hot!

I wouldn't frack her with your dick and him pushing.

Motherfracker.

Fracking A!

Wanna frack?

serotonindumptruck

Let's keep going.

Go frack yourself!

You wanna frack with me?

Get the frack outta here!

I fracked your wife last night, motherfracker, what are you gonna do about it?

[Jan 26, 2015] Job Description – Rogue Trader

Blast from the past
Jan 26, 2008 | prudentbear.com

The following is an extract from "Traders, Guns & Money: Knowns & Unknowns in the Dazzling World of Derivatives"J (2006; Pearson Education) © 2006 Satyajit Das

Position Title

(Rogue) Trader. (The "rogue" term is generally not to be used explicitly especially with senior management, directors, shareholders and clients for fear of misunderstanding.)

Reporting Line

The position reports along "functional' and "geographic" lines to the Head of Trading and Head of the Region. (Nobody, really. A multi-dimensional matrix structure is currently in operation so that everybody reports to several people allowing a total absence of accountability.)

Location

Optional. (Some candidates may have a preference for working in head office where total confusion and chaos reigns facilitating successful rogue trading. Other candidates may prefer a remote location where benign neglect and absence of supervision may provide rogue trading opportunities.)

Organisational Environment

A leading edge investment bank with a global brand, presence in key financial markets, superb product range and unparalleled client list.

(Our PR firm told us this.)

A global trading team trading in a wide variety of cash and synthetic instruments, including a number of "proprietary" structures.

(You can lose money pretty much any way you like. There are some trades that even we don't understand but the models say we are making money).

Supported by a world class risk management team (they are readily identifiable by their guide dogs) and operational staff and systems (they have been specially chosen for their total ignorance.)

Excellent career prospects (We have sinecures for everybody who has failed to perform.)

Key Responsibilities

Trading with the bank's capital to achieve targeted risk adjusted returns on capital under the bank's unique Economic Capital Allocation system. (If you are half as smart as you think you are then you will be able to game the system from day 1. Everybody else has.)

Developing innovative trading strategies. (You need to be able to come up with hare brained trading schemes based on the relationship between the El Nino cycle and market prices.)

Closely managing trading positions. (You need to be able increase your bet when your position shows losses until you bankrupt the firm.)

Major Challenges

Develop proper models and valuation procedures (You need to ensure that all pricing models are impossible to understand and give the valuations that you want by simple unverifiable changes in model inputs.)

Risk management of positions (You will need to fudge all the Greek risk measures. We suggest you start to report risk data in an ancient Nubian dialect that is purely oral. You will ensure that your risk always appears miniscule irrespective of market conditions. People have a tendency to panic otherwise.)

Monitoring (You will need to be able to disguise breaches by not booking the trades or taking advantage of systems deficiencies.)

Control losses and volatility of earnings (You must disguise losses either by recording them as amounts owed to you (the Leeson gambit), undertaking off-market trades such as deep in-the-money options (the Rusnak variation) or incorrect valuations (Rogue Trading 101).)

You need to be able to take the trading function to a new plane. (You need to show larger losses than the last rogue trader the firm employed.)

Selection Criteria

Detailed knowledge of financial markets and trading techniques.

(You should wax lyrically about obscure markets (the Zambian Kwatcho and Islamic finance techniques) and complex mathematics (field theory; neural networks; fractals; Frank copula models). Everybody will think you are a genius or a fool but will be unsure of which.)

Detailed knowledge of derivatives, including exotic and non-standard structures. (Everybody knows that derivatives allow highly leveraged positions that are impossible to understand or value accurately.)
No minimum formal educational qualifications or direct previous experience in a similar role is necessary. (Nobody believes your CV. It is merely a statement of your aspirations. Nobody will believe you if you said that you had rogue trading experience.)<

Ability to communicate and work closely with senior management (You will need to make sure that you generate enough "phantom" profits to make sure their bonus expectations are met.)

Ability to work closely with operational staff (You must bully them or cajole them into concealing limit breaches and losses.)

Strong leadership qualities (You will claim all profits are the result of your perspicacious skills. All losses will either disappear or if found will be hedge losses offset against gains in other positions.)

Desirable Criteria

Preferred age – under 30 years. (Have you ever heard of an old rogue trader? There is an exception for Japanese rogue traders who are generally older.)

Strong personal qualities. (You will have "attitude". A year round sun tan and a wisp of beard underneath your chin is good. You will treat everybody around you as idiots incapable of understanding the complex nature of your trading strategies.)

Highly motivated. (You will need to be able to hide losses and limit breaches. The Japanese rogue traders never took holidays.)

Remuneration

Negotiable including a strong performance linked component. (You don't need to be paid as it is assumed that you will defalcate ample amounts.)

Social Responsibility Statement

We are proud to be an equal opportunity employer. (We do not discriminate on any basis. How else can you explain the calibre of Directors and Senior Management not to mention risk managers and auditors that we have?)

Note: The idea is based on a column published by Trevor Sykes (writing as Pierpoint) of the Australian Financial Review [see "Indispensable Guide For Rogue Traders" (30 January 2004) Australian Financial Review] However, the text is different.

[Jan 24, 2015] A Bunch Of Criminals

Zero Hedge

...completely nonsensical largesse the ECB permits itself to launch, aimed at once again saving a banking system, but which will not only not help the European people, it will make things even much worse than they already are.

... ... ...

Forget the Central Banks, as I have mentioned here many times, the ECB lowered the Reserve Ratio for member to banks to 1% (ONE PERCENT)!

kliguy38

calling them criminals is an injustice to criminals

rccalhoun

more like a swarm of locust

Feel it Reel it

The Lawyers protect the Bankers. The bankers pay the Lawyers(political contibutitions)...If you realize roughly 50-55% of the U.S. House and Senate are lawyers/trail lawyers then it all makes sense of why we are where we are....and don't forget Obama is/was a Lawyer as is Biden.... The Lawyers and Bankers protect each other and are at the top of the Pyramid scheme... The profession that never gets regulated or talked about is the Law profession....The majority of Lawyers in Politics are corrupt it's that simple....We live in a litigious society where you are encouraged to sue regardless of how friviolus it might be... Political correctness is driven by the Lawyers who are the Politicians....

CH1

The Lawyers protect the Bankers. The bankers pay the Lawyers(political contibutitions)...

You missed the ROOT of the problem...

And the sheep keep obeying, no matter what.

FIAT CON

Correct, most sheep don't even pay attention to politics or world events. They just want to come home after working 8 hrs while only 3 of those hours was for themselves, and turn on some phoney distraction "Tee Vee" These people have no idea how badly they are being represented by there favourite politician that did get elected.

If you are invited to play poker with a bunch of cheaters and you accept, sit down and aloow your money to be cheated out of you.

Do you deserve it?

[Dec 13, 2014] Citigroup to Move Headquarters to US Capitol Building

http://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report/citigroup-move-headquarters-u-s-capitol-building via @newyorker

WASHINGTON (The Borowitz Report)-The banking giant Citigroup announced on Friday that it would move its headquarters from New York to the U.S. Capitol Building, in Washington, D.C., in early 2015.

Tracy Klugian, a spokesperson for Citi, said that the company had leased thirty thousand square feet of prime real estate on the floor of the House of Representatives and would be interviewing "world-class architects" to redesign the space to suit its needs.

According to sources, Citi successfully outbid other firms, including JPMorgan Chase and Goldman Sachs, for the right to move its headquarters to the House floor. ...

[Jan 26, 2014] From elephant to a mouse

Jan 25, 2014 | neznaika-nalune.livejournal.com

[Jan 03, 2014] Mixed Thinking about Markets

Economist's View

The Keystone Garter said...

...the avg Americans gives away 42% of found money. But first year economics students only give away 20%. The economics curriculum in the USA needs to change.

[Jan 02, 2014] The Corporate "Free Speech" Racket by Haley Sweetland Edwards

The Washington Monthly

[Dec 30, 2013] Possibility of the end of Great Stock Market Rally of 2013

[Dec 30, 2013] Jane Austen Explains Monetary Policy

"I wonder how Harry Potter would put it..."
Dec 30, 2013 | Zero Hedge

Who knew? Jane Austen was a dyed-in-the-wool, easy-money-loving, stimulus-demanding 'expert' on monetary policy. As Citi's Steven Englander finds in his eloquent new year's note, it seems the antiquated authoress has much sense-and-sensibility to reproach those of us who believe in real money and a return to a real economy. From justifying QE, "Money is the best recipe for happiness," to the importance of the wealth effect, "If this man had not twelve thousand a year, he would be a very stupid fellow;" Austen offers some 'balance' to offer on Fed transparency, tapering, and congressional spending.

Via Citi's Steve Englander,

'Elinor now found the difference between the expectation of an unpleasant event, however certain the mind may be told to consider it, and certainty itself." – particularly apt in light of the market reaction to tapering.

Continued...



Etc

Society

Groupthink : Two Party System as Polyarchy : Corruption of Regulators : Bureaucracies : Understanding Micromanagers and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers :   Harvard Mafia : Diplomatic Communication : Surviving a Bad Performance Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience : Who Rules America : Neoliberalism  : The Iron Law of Oligarchy : Libertarian Philosophy

Quotes

War and Peace : Skeptical Finance : John Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand : Oscar Wilde : Otto Von Bismarck : Keynes : George Carlin : Skeptics : Propaganda  : SE quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes : Random IT-related quotesSomerset Maugham : Marcus Aurelius : Kurt Vonnegut : Eric Hoffer : Winston Churchill : Napoleon Bonaparte : Ambrose BierceBernard Shaw : Mark Twain Quotes

Bulletin:

Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient markets hypothesis : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 : Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 :  Vol 23, No.10 (October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments : Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 : Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 : Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan (Win32/Crilock.A) : Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers as intelligence collection hubs : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : Inequality Bulletin, 2009 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Copyleft Problems Bulletin, 2004 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Energy Bulletin, 2010 : Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult : Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 : Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 (May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method  : Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law

History:

Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): the triumph of the US computer engineering : Donald Knuth : TAoCP and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman : Linus Torvalds  : Larry Wall  : John K. Ousterhout : CTSS : Multix OS Unix History : Unix shell history : VI editor : History of pipes concept : Solaris : MS DOSProgramming Languages History : PL/1 : Simula 67 : C : History of GCC developmentScripting Languages : Perl history   : OS History : Mail : DNS : SSH : CPU Instruction Sets : SPARC systems 1987-2006 : Norton Commander : Norton Utilities : Norton Ghost : Frontpage history : Malware Defense History : GNU Screen : OSS early history

Classic books:

The Peter Principle : Parkinson Law : 1984 : The Mythical Man-MonthHow to Solve It by George Polya : The Art of Computer Programming : The Elements of Programming Style : The Unix Hater’s Handbook : The Jargon file : The True Believer : Programming Pearls : The Good Soldier Svejk : The Power Elite

Most popular humor pages:

Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society : Ten Commandments of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection : BSD Logo Story : The Cuckoo's Egg : IT Slang : C++ Humor : ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? : The Perl Purity Test : Object oriented programmers of all nations : Financial Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related Humor : Programming Language Humor : Goldman Sachs related humor : Greenspan humor : C Humor : Scripting Humor : Real Programmers Humor : Web Humor : GPL-related Humor : OFM Humor : Politically Incorrect Humor : IDS Humor : "Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church : Richard Stallman Related Humor : Admin Humor : Perl-related Humor : Linus Torvalds Related humor : PseudoScience Related Humor : Networking Humor : Shell Humor : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2012 : Financial Humor Bulletin, 2013 : Java Humor : Software Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor : Education Humor : IBM Humor : Assembler-related Humor : VIM Humor : Computer Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer Humor

The Last but not Least Technology is dominated by two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. Ph.D


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