Nikolai 
Bezroukov. Portraits of Open Source Pioneers
For readers with high 
sensitivity to grammar errors access to this page is not recommended :-)
Linus Torvalds Related humor
   
      | "I don't want to stereotype anybody, but it must have 
         been a Linux kiddie. A FreeBSD person would never do something 
         like that." -- A FreeBSD 
         programmer angry that someone stolehis camera, which he had left unattended in New York!
 | 
   
      | People say Linux is ugly. How does that make 
         you feel?Torvalds: They'll be the first against the wall when 
         the revolution comes. Let's see just how ugly they think it is when 
         they have a few bulletholes in them.
 
      Linus Torvalds answers 10 goofy questions - Nov 13, 2002 | 
	June 06, 2000 |  www.trollaxor.com
	Hi. I'm Linus Torvalds, creator of 
	the Open Source operating system Linux. I'm glad CmdrTaco and 
	company have created a forum for Open Source news and views, and I 
	am so thankful for being able to post in the Slashdot forums. But 
	now I must get something off my chest.
	As you all know, I am a fairly clean 
	cut, well-kempt person (I know, I have a beer gut only ESR could 
	dare to challenge, but you'll have that if you spend 18 hours a day 
	coding and eating Cheezie Doodlez), and in the GNU community that is 
	an anomaly: virtually all users of GNU software and the GPL, under 
	which my Linux kernel falls under, are unkempt, long-haired, 
	beast-bearded dirty GNU hippies, and I am sick and tired of having 
	to deal with them.
	The person I have the greatest 
	problem with is the (in)famous communist, RMS. Now, RMS may have 
	been responsible for GNU, the GPL, GCC, and many other contributions 
	to the computing community, but his stance, as well as stench, 
	displayed in his essays and actions, nauseates me. I mean, with that 
	filth-ridden beard of his, where does he have room to demand Linux 
	distros demarkate the OS as GNU/Linux? When he is as clean-shaven as 
	I, he may have the right. Until then, as he sits and plays his 
	little flutes and drops acid like there is no tomorrow, he can shut 
	his mouth and go back to reading Marx. I am sorry to sound so harsh, 
	but a little hygiene every once in a while is a Good Thing™. Makes 
	me wish I'd went with the BSD license back in the day.
	Next in line of dirty scuzballs I 
	have to deal with, and probably the worst thorn in my side, is Alan 
	Cox, the primary coder of my kernel's TCP/IP stack (ha, what a 
	joke!) and all around dirty GNU hippie. The man's wife, who I spent 
	a few years with at the University of Helsinki, often calls me 
	crying in the middle of the night to complain of the rank, 
	unbearable stench the man exudes after sex. On several occasions I 
	have personally had to withstand his torrent of rotten odor at trade 
	shows, exhibitions, and beer bashes that permeates every inch of his 
	toxic person. Along with the typical GNU hygiene (mis)habits he 
	practices, he also bitches and whines about... well, everything. He 
	lies a lot too; evidence for this can be seen in the fact he almost 
	always wears cheap black sunglasses when talking to people he knows 
	are better than him (such as myself).
	And then we come to ESR. I won't 
	reiterate the sewerdweller-like cleansing habits he practices as 
	well, but I would like to focus on his general lifestyle. Firstly, 
	he's never been to school. As a German expatriate, education should 
	have been his priority; however, becoming a Gas Baron was his 
	ambition in life until he realized he would fail at it. I wish he'd 
	make that realization with the other things he tries to do.
	Secondly, the man is a 
	sub-intelligent hillbilly. You know, the kind that goes to 
	inner-city computer stores and buys 386s to set up as servers all 
	over his house, with cigarette smoke-stained 14" monitors piled high 
	upon his kitchen table. He has no cooth and can't integrate himself 
	into any social situation involving white collar executives without 
	rambling into a tirade on gun rights or tanning roadkill.
	Couple the above facts with his 
	ruddy complexion (from drinking Jägermeister like it's water) and 
	his gnat-ridden handlebar mustache and you've got the makings of one 
	more person who pisses me off.
	Well, that's it for now. Hopefully 
	with these feelings off my chest and into the Open Source community, 
	things will change for the better. I'd like just once to talk to a 
	Linux user or advocate who washes and changes their clothes at least 
	weekly. Until then, thanks to CmdrTaco, Slashdot, and you, the 
	reader, for the opportunity to bring things to the table and share 
	for the betterment of our community.
[Apr 1, 2006]  [Microsoft Press Release] 
Microsoft established a program to help open source 
developers. 
	For an undisclosed sum Microsoft bought Open Source Office and Mozilla  open-source 
	desktop projects. In personal note to open source developers involved in the 
	project Bill Gates noted that he "was sick and tired' of seeing very decent 
	programmers earning nothing for the code they produce and many having health 
	problems while Mozilla foundation officials and Sun executives are flush 
	with money". Microsoft will established a flat salary of $50K per year for key developers 
	and will provide discounted health insurance for those who are located in 
	the USA.  
	The projects will form a part of a 
	growing list of Microsoft acquisitions in open source area and will operated 
	as independent subsidiaries of Microsoft Research. In his interview to 
	London Telegraph Bill Gates stresses that his goal is to 
	help talented programmers to survive all over the globe and get the 
	remuneration they and their families definitely deserve. " I think that 
	personal charity of Richard Stallman is bad enough and cases of inhuman 
	exploitation of free labor and human talent should be stopped," Bill Gates 
	said. "If Stallman really wants to be fair he should abolish this money 
	laundering scheme and go work to McDonalds, that's his personal choice." He 
	also that the initial meaning of the word "talent" was a currency unit 
	somewhere in Mesopotamia and that was not without the reason. 
Humorix The Hottest 
New Distribution LinuXXX
	LAS VEGAS -- Described as the world's first "pornographic operating 
	system," a new Linux distribution called LinuXXX was unveiled earlier today 
	at a press conference in the lobby of a Las Vegas hotel. Sales of the distro 
	have been... well, hot. 
[Jul 5, 2005] The Bug Count Also Rises 
by John Browne (Imitation Hemingway Contest Winner). 
   
      In the fall of that year the rains 
			fell as usual and washed the leaves of the dust and dripped from the 
			leaves onto the ground. The shuttles drove through the rainy streets 
			and took the people to meetings, then later brought them back, their 
			tires spraying the mist into the air. 
      Many days he stood for a long time 
			and watched the rain and the shuttles and drank his double-tall 
			mochas. With the mochas he was strong. 
      Hernando who worked down the hall and 
			who was large with microbrews came to him and told him that the ship 
			day was upon them but the bugs were not yet out. The bugs which were 
			always there even when you were in Cafes late at night sipping a 
			Redhook or a double-tall mocha and you thought you were safe but 
			they were there and although Enrico kept the floor swept clean and 
			the mochas were hot the bugs were there and they ate at you. 
      When Hernando told him this he asked 
			how many bugs. "The RAID is huge with bugs," Hernando said. "The 
			bugs are infinite." 
      "Why do you ask me? You know I cannot 
			do this thing anymore with the bugs." 
      "Once you were great with the bugs," 
			Hernando said. "No one was greater," he said again. "Even Prado."
			
      "Prado? What of Prado? Let Prado fix 
			the bugs." 
      Hernando shrugged. "Prado is 
			finished. He was gored by three Sev 2's on Chicago. All he does now 
			is drink herb tea and play with his screensavers." 
      "Herb tea?" 
      "It is true, my friend." Hernando 
			shrugged again. Later he went to his office and sat in the dark for 
			a long time. Then he sent e-mail to Michaels. 
      Michaels came to him while he was 
			sipping a mocha. They sat silently for awhile, then he asked 
			Michaels, "I need you to triage for me." 
      Michaels looked down. "I don't do 
			that anymore," he said. 
      "This is different. The bugs are 
			enormous. There are an infinity of bugs." 
      "I'm finished with that," Michaels 
			said again. "I just want to live quietly." 
      "Have you heard Prado is finished? He 
			was badly gored. Now he can only drink herb tea." 
      "Herb tea?" Michaels said. 
      "It is true," he said sorrowfully.
			
      Michaels stood up. "Then I will do 
			it, my friend," he said formally. "I will do it for Prado, who was 
			once great with the bugs. I will do it for the time we filled 
			Prado's office with bouncy balls, and for the time Prado wore his 
			nerf weapons in the marketing hall and slew all of them with no fear 
			and only a great joy at the combat. I will do it for all the pizza 
			we ate and the bottles of Coke we drank." 
      Together they walked slowly back, 
			knowing it would be good. As they walked the rain dripped softly 
			from the leaves, and the shuttles carried the bodies back from the 
			meetings. 
   
 
	
		| OPEN LETTER TO SLASHDOT POSTERS by Anonymous Coward on Saturday April 02, @12:02PM (#12120215)
 | 
	
		| Why oh Why did everyone bitch because 
		the admins posted a bunch of arguably lame april fools day articles? 
		Can't you people lightin up for one day? Who cares if they post 100 
		stupid lame fake articles in a row, it's not going to affect the 
		integrity of slashdot. Is this your only legitimate place for finding 
		technology news? I hope not ! Does your hole life revolve around getting 
		accurate technology news on one specific day of the year that happens to 
		be a day where people play practical jokes? I hope not ! Slashdot does 
		not publish their own content, they give links to other places. So don't 
		take a few april fools jokes too seriously. If you really care that much 
		goto a different website. Lightin up, have fun, stop complaining so 
		much, and if you think someones taking a joke too far, let em! Just 
		don't associate with them anymore, simple as that. | 
	Commenting on the lawsuits Linus Torvalds 
	noted : 
	
		"Why is everybody so concerned with 
		Transmute suing some manufacturers? It is not suing every chip 
		manufacturer in sight, just three of them. It did not become a patent 
		whore!  IP companies are not bad by 
		definition. Just the contrary. And SCO is an exception! Even Rambus, is 
		not the public enemy some open source enthusiasts are trying to turn it 
		into. Maybe not all of their products are as good or as cheap as many 
		would like them to be (including Rambus themselves), but at least the 
		company is not in the business with groundless lawsuits. Ask yourselves 
		should Transmeta benefit if CPU manufacturers (ie Intel, AMD, IBM) 
		adopted the very good technologies, part of Crusoe and Efficeon 
		processors (stuff like LongRun  and
		LongRun2, you know).
		Also please stop bitching that transmeta 
		is reducing its workforce (mostly marketing people. It got a contract 
		with Sony who will pay for the help of 100 of the about 200 engineers 
		from Transmeta. This will reduce quarterly costs to $5 million and might 
		increase Transmeta life expectancy"
	
	Some Slashdot users disagreed: 
	
		
	
	The first thing I'm going to do after I build my time machine is
go visit Finland and say "Use the LGPL, Linus".
		
			The Tao of Linux (Score:5, Funny) 
			
by Anonymous Coward on Saturday March 08, @01:21PM (#5467456)
      
			Something forms itself from the silent void of the empty mailing lists 
      and the noisy chaos of the crowded mailing lists. It shapes and protects 
      us, it entertains and challenges us, it aids us in our journey through the 
      ether world of software. It is mysterious; it is at once source code and 
      yet object code. I do not know the name, thus I will call it the Tao of 
      Linux.
If the Tao is great, then the box is stable. If the box is stable, then 
      the server is secure. If the server is secure, then the data is safe. If 
      the data is safe, then the users are happy.
In the beginning there was chaos in Unix.
Tanenbaum gave birth to MINIX. MINIX did not have the Tao.
MINIX gave birth to Linux 0.1 and it had promise.
Linux gave birth to v1.3 and it was good.
v1.3 gave birth to v2.0 and it was better.
Linux has evolved greatly from its distant cousins of the old. Linux is 
      embodied by the Tao.
The wise user is told about the Tao and contributes to it. The average 
      user is told about the Tao and compiles it. The foolish user is told about 
      the Tao and laughs and asks who needs it.
If it were not for laughter, there would be no Tao.
Wisdom leads to good code, but experience leads to good use of that code.
The master Cox once dreamed that he was a Kernel. When he awoke he 
      exclaimed: "I don't know whether I am Cox dreaming that I am a Kernel, or 
      a Kernel dreaming that I am Cox!"
The master Linus then said: "The Tao envelopes you. You shall create great 
      code for Linux."
"On the contrary," said Cox, "The Tao has already created the code, I will 
      only have to find it and write it down."
A master was explaining the nature of the Tao to one of his students:
"Is the Tao in the VM subsystem?" he asked. "Yes," replied the master.
"Is the Tao in the scheduler?" he queried again. "The Tao is in the 
      scheduler."
"Is the Tao even in the modules?". "It is even in the modules," said the 
      master.
"Is the Tao in the Low-Latency Patch?"
The master frowned and was silent for much time.
"You fail to understand the Tao. Go away."
The Tao is the yin and the yang. It is the good and the evil, it is 
      everything and yet it is nothing, it is the beginning and the end.
The Tao was there at the kernel compile, and it will be there when the 
      kernel panics.
A novice user once asked a master: "Why compile in C when C++ is more 
      popular?"
"Why a monolythic kernel when Mach is more popular?"
"And why use ReiserFS when ext2 is more popular?"
The master sighed and replied: "Why run Unix when NT is more popular?"
The user was enlightened.
A frustrated user once asked a master: "My kernel has panicked, should I 
      post to lkml?"
"No," replied the master, "You will only bother the Tao."
"Should I rm -rf?"
"No, you will have wasted the Tao's time."
"Well should I search the web?"
"You will search for all eternity," said the master.
"Perhaps I should try FreeBSD?"
"Then you will have disgraced the Tao."
"I suppose I could try gdb," said the user.
The master smiled and replied: "Then you will have made the Tao stronger."
A stubborn user once told a master: "I run version 2.2. I always have, and 
      I always will."
The master replied: "You are foolish and do not understand the Tao. The 
      Tao is dynamic and ever changing. Linux strives for the perfection that is 
      the Tao. It flows from version to version with peace."
"So my Linux does not have the Tao, so what?" said the foolish user. "Oh 
      your Linux is of the Tao," said the master. "However, the Tao of Linux 
      follows the Tao of the C library. One day the C library will change, and 
      your Linux will be left behind." The user was silent.
An angry user once yelled at a master:
"My Linux has panicked! What lousy software it is, I hate it so!"
"You are insulting the Tao," said the master. "The Tao is everywhere 
      bringing order to hundreds of networks, aiding thousands of users, and 
      fighting that of which we call the 'lame.' Do not disrespect the Tao; 
      however, the Tao will forgive you."
"I apologize," said the user, "And I will be more forgiving the next time 
      the Tao fails me."
"The Tao has not failed you, it is you that has failed the Tao," said the 
      master. "The Tao is perfect."
The Tao decides if a kernel shall compile, or if it shall abort.
The Tao decides if a kernel shall boot, or if it shall freeze.
The Tao decides if a kernel shall run, or if it shall panic.
But, the Tao does not decide if a box will have no hardware failures. That 
      is a mystery to everyone.
A young master once approached an old master: "I have a LUG for Linux 
      help. But, I fail to answer my students' problems; they are above me."
The master replied: "Have you taught them of the Tao?" he asked. "How it 
      brings together man and software, yet how it distances them apart; how if 
      flows throughout Linux and transcends its essence?"
"No," exclaimed the apprentice, "These people cannot even get the source 
      untarred."
"Oh, said the master, "In that case, tell them to RTFM."
A master watched as an ambitious user reconstructed his Linux.
"I shall make every bit encrypted," the user said. "I shall use 2048 bit 
      keys, three different algorithms, and make multiple passes."
The master replied: "I think it is unwise."
"Why?" asked the user. "Will my encryption harm the mighty Tao, which 
      gives Linux life and creates the balance between kernel and processes? The 
      mighty Tao, which is the thread that binds the modules and links them with 
      the core? The mighty Tao, which safely guides the TCP/IP packets to and 
      from the network card?"
"No," said the master, "It will hog too much cpu."
The core is like the part of the mind that is static. It is programmed at 
      a child's creation and cannot be changed unless a new child is made; 
      unless a new kernel is compiled.
The modules are like the part of the mind that is dynamic. It is 
      reprogrammed every time one learns new knowledge; every time one learns 
      better code.
One is yin, the other yang. Each is nothing without the other.
A novice came to lkml and inquired to all the masters there: "I wish to 
      become a master. Must I memorize the Linux header files?"
"No," replied a master.
"Must I submit code to Bitkeeper?"
"No," replied the master.
"Must I meditate daily and dedicate my life to Linux?"
"No," replied the master again.
"Must I go on a quest to ponder the meaning of the Tao?"
"No. A master is nothing more than a student who knows something of which 
      he can teach to other students."
The novice understood.
And thus said the master:
"It is the way of the Tao."
A user came to a master who had great status in lkml. The user asked the 
      master: "Which is easier: implementing new features to the kernel or 
      documenting them?"
"Implementing new features," replied the master.
The confused user then exclaimed:
"Surely it is easier to write a few sentences in the man page than it is 
      to write pages of code without error?"
"Not so," said the master. "When coding, the Tao of Linux opens my eyes 
      wide and allows me to see beyond the code, to let the source flow from my 
      fingers, to implement without flaw. When documenting, however, all I have 
      to work with is a C in high school English."
He who compiles from the stable tree is stubborn
and unwilling to change, but is guaranteed reliability.
He who compiles from the current tree is wise but perhaps too conformist, 
      but is guaranteed steadiness.
He who compiles from the unstable tree is adventurous and is guaranteed 
      new innovations: some good, some bad.
He who compiles straight from Bitkeeper is brave but guaranteed 
      turbulence.
They are all of the Tao. One shall respect the old, and debug the new; 
      none shall argue over which is greatest.
There once was a user who scripted in Perl: "Look at what I have to work 
      with here," he said to a master of core, "My code is interpreted 
      dynamically, the syntax is unique and simple, I have sockets, strings, 
      arrays, and everything I could ever need. Why don't you stop meddling in C 
      and come join me?" The C programmer described his reasoning to the 
      scripter: "Scripting is to C as ebonics is to Latin. If the scripter does 
      not grow beyond that of which he scripts, he will surely {die}. Besides, 
      without C, how can there be script?" The scripter was enlightened, and the 
      two became close friends.
		
   It was a sunny afternoon, and Linus was 
   happily playing in his backyard. He was busy with all the things that little 
   Linuses do on sunny days in their backyards. He was sitting in the shade of a 
   large tree when he noticed something very out of place in a Linuses backyard. 
   Waddling across the yard was a penguin! Every few yards, this penguin would 
   pull out a Compaq Itsy, consult it, put it back in his pocket and say, "I'm 
   late, I'm late, I'm late for my release date!" 
   Little Linus had never seen a penguin this 
   close before. He had also never seen an Itsy. And he was rather sure that 
   penguins shouldn't be talking or consulting Itsys. So as any curious Linus 
   would do, he followed the penguin. No matter how quickly Linus walked, the 
   penguin seemed to be the same distance away. The penguin didn't waddle any 
   faster, Linus just couldn't seem to get any closer. 
   Suddenly, the penguin stopped at the very tree 
   Linus had been sitting under. "Ah, here's what I was looking for... root 
   access!" the penguin muttered. Then he popped into a small hole in one of the 
   roots of the tree. 
   Linus decided to follow. He squeezed into the 
   hole, and suddenly realized that he was falling. Everything below him was 
   dark, so he couldn't see the bottom. He continued to fall wondering what was 
   next. 
   ... ... ... 
   In Which Linus Meets Several Strange 
   Inhabitants of GNU/Wonderland
   As they approached the wood, Linus noticed a 
   taco walking up the road towards him. The taco appeared to be carrying 
   several newspapers under his arm. "News for Nerds!" he was calling, "Get your 
   News for Nerds here." 
   Linus stopped the camel and walked over to get 
   a newspaper. However, before he could reach the taco, he heard a loud noise. 
   Several thousand creatures, boys, girls, rabbits, unicorns, trolls and all 
   other sorts of animals came rushing toward the taco. They all hit the taco at 
   once, grabbing for the newspapers. Linus watched as wave after wave of things 
   rushed across the poor taco. Then as suddenly as they had come, they were 
   gone. Linus ran over to the taco, "Are you hurt?" He asked with concern.
   
   "Not bad, at least this time no one dumped any 
   breakfast cereal on me," the taco replied getting up and brushing himself 
   off. [1] 
   Linus thought about querying further on the 
   subject of breakfast cereal, however, he decided to skip it. After making 
   sure the taco was OK he climbed back on the camel and set off again. 
   
   He had not traveled far when he heard a 
   strange noise in the forest beside the path. "Perhaps it is a bear," he 
   thought. However, before he could urge the camel to pick up the pace a man 
   stepped out of the woods onto the path. He was an odd looking man, with hair 
   that pointed anywhere except where hair usually points. Linus figured the man 
   must have forgotten he owned a beard, since it looked like the beard had 
   wandered off on its own quite awhile ago. 
   "Hullo, boy!" the man waved at Linus. "I am 
   GNUman. Who are you?" 
   "My name is Linus, and it's nice to meet you, 
   Neuman." Linus got down to shake the man's hand. 
   "Not Neuman, it's GNUman. Say it right!" The 
   man said loudly. 
   Linus looked at the man carefully, then 
   deciding he wasn't dangerous, shook his hand and said, "It's nice to meet you 
   GNUman." 
   "Well, of course I'm more than happy to meet 
   anyone around these parts. By the way, here's the rules to my game," GNUman 
   said solemnly, handing Linus a scroll. "The rules are, that anyone can change 
   the rules, as long as they tell everyone what rules they changed. That way 
   everyone can make the rules fit their needs." 
   Linus wasn't quite sure what GNUman was 
   talking about. However, he politely took the scroll and promised to read it. 
   GNUman smiled and wandered off into the woods. 
   After a few hours of riding around on the 
   camel, Linus noticed party sounds emanating from a nearby clearing. The camel 
   noticed his interest and moved in that direction. 
   As they broke into the clearing there was an 
   amazing sight. A long table set with coffee, doughnuts, pizza, as well as 
   Chinese, Indian, and Mexican food. At one end was a keg of Guinness. At the 
   head of the table was a man with a bushy black beard, long black hair, 
   sunglasses and a red fedora. He motioned Linus over to a chair. 
   "I've been waitin' a bloody long time on you," 
   the man said with a British accent. "Do you know how hard it is to keep all 
   this food hot?" 
   Linus, beginning to get used to the odd people 
   of this land, smiled and apologized for taking so long. Of course he had no 
   idea that he was even expected, let alone late. 
   "Oh, not to worry," the English fellow said in 
   a nicer tone, "I'm sure you were busy." 
   They began to eat, and Linus was amazed at the 
   energy that this special food gave him. After eating in silence for awhile, 
   he noticed that other creatures were sitting at the table enjoying the food 
   as well. Oddly, he hadn't seen any of them sit down. Indeed, the large dog 
   sitting next to him had appeared from nowhere. Linus had seen many canines 
   before, but this was the first dog that he had seen with a big white beard.
   
        ... ... ...
      
         
            | Re:First line... (Score:5, Funny) by TeknoHog (164938) on 
            Monday January 05, @02:26PM (#7883284)
 (http://www.iki.fi/teknohog/)
 | 
         
            | Hmm, I guess this would go better with the 2.4.24 release. 
               It was thirteen years ago todayCol. Torvalds let the source away.
 We've been going in and out of drives
 but we guarantee to raise uptimes.
 So may I introduce to you
 the hack we've known for all these years
 Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU band!
 We're Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU band,we hope you will enjoy the code.
 Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU band,
 just hack and let the evening go!
 Col. Torvalds' LinuxCol. Torvalds' Linux
 Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU band!
 It's wonderful to post here,/home.it's certainly no troll.
 You're such a lovely userbase,
 we'd like to merge your code with us,
 we'd love to take you
 I don't really want to freeze the code,but I thought you might like to know
 this release is going to fix the root
 and we want you all to patch for good.
 So let me introduce to youthe one and only Billy's fear
 Col. Torvalds' Linux slash GNU band!
 | 
 
         
      
      
 
	Fake News written by 
	James Baughn 
      on December 22, 2001
from the not-as-bad-as-it-sounds dept.
	
      For the first time in recorded history, Linus Torvalds 
      and Bill Gates are on the same side. Sort of. 
	Linus has joined Microsoft in filing a lawsuit against Lindows for
	trademark 
      infringement. He isn't worried that people will mistake "Lindows" for 
      "Linux". But he is concerned that people might mistake "Lindows" for 
      "Windows". 
	"I don't want my creation associated with some crappy operating system 
      produced by Microsoft," explained Torvalds. The name Lindows, however, 
      does just that. I realize that the Lindows folks are doing their part to 
      achieve World Domination fast, but can't they at least come up with an 
      original name that doesn't slander Linux by connecting it with the 
      W-word?" 
	The Lindows legal staff, currently holed up in a small office building 
      laid seige by Microsoft's vast army of lawyers, issued only a brief 
      response that said, "One lawsuit at a time, please. Can't you at least 
      wait a few months? Signed, Mrs. Mia Kulpa, chief attorney for the Company 
      Soon To Be Formerly Known As Lindows." 
	Microsoft's lawsuit seeks $1.5 billion in damages plus a court order 
      demanding that every Lindows developer get on their knees before Chairman 
      Bill and beg for forgiveness. Torvalds, on the other hand, does not want 
      monetary damages and seeks only to obtain a ruling that states once and 
      for all that Windows sucks and therefore the Lindows name would soil the 
      reputation of Linux. 
	In related news, the Lindows executives have yet to respond to the 512 
      voice mails left by Richard M. Stallman demanding to know why their name 
      isn't "GNU/Lindows".
      
 
   
   Linus Torvalds ([email protected])
   Mon, 01 Apr 2002 00:00:00 -0700 (PDT) 
   
   
   Fellow hackers,
   For some time I have felt unappreciated by some members of 
   the Linux community. Far too many of you like to whine and cry, saying "My 
   patches aren't being accepted by Linus, but they are by Alan or Michael!" It 
   seems that some of you are too stupid to follow the simple instructions that 
   I have made clear on more than one occasion. This, combined with the fact 
   that today is my last day at Transmeta, has prompted me to consider 
   rediscovering that balance I had in my life before you all took my hobby and 
   made it into a mass movement. I have not decided who should take over 
   maintenance of the kernel myself, for I believe that this decision should be 
   made in a quasi-democratic fashion. While democracy has not worked well with 
   this group of people before, I am willing to give it one last chance.  
   However, I do have some opinions on who should succeed me 
   as leader of kernel development. I will provide my opinions below as I am 
   entitled to do so. Below is an alphabetical list of my nominations. I include 
   a brief explanation of why I nominated them and any concerns I may have. You 
   all should do the same for your nominations.  
   
      - Alan Cox: Alan has done a spectacular job of 
      maintaining the 2.2 branch ever since I embarked on the development 
      branch. He would have been an automatic choice for this job, except for 
      his childish refusal to travel to the US, where all the real kernel 
      hackers hang out. Marcello has proven to me, however, that you do not need 
      to live in a technology-rich country such as the US to be a leader of 
      kernel development.  
- Matt Dillon: Whenever someone moans about the 
      2.4 VM fiasco, I think to myself, "I wish Matt hadn't left the Linux 
      kernel development for FreeBSD!" I believe that if Matt were to be chosen 
      as leader, we would have had a sane and working VM on par with FreeBSD's 
      months ago. While he has little leadership experience, he is a member of 
      FreeBSD-core, a position which certainly demands respect.  
- Eric S. Raymond: Being leader of kernel 
      development involves fielding a significant amount of media attention. ESR 
      has shown on many occasions that he can talk shit and still sound just as 
      convincing as anyone on this list, all the time being completely oblivious 
      to any contrasting viewpoints. While his 
      kernel-configuration-adventure-game contribution to Linux just screams out 
      "worthless bloat", I must admit to having enjoyed many a lonely night 
      playing the game. If he could lay a similar interface over gdb, I'm sure 
      that more kernel hackers would actually debug their work before submitting 
      it.
- Richard M. Stallman: RMS has an exceptional 
      track record in the open-source field, being largely responsible for my 
      favorite text editor, compiler, and debugger. No other open-source hacker 
      has come as close as he has to replicating the integration available with 
      Microsoft Visual C++ 6 years ago. I fully endorse him as a candidate, 
      assuming he's willing to drop his puerile "GNU/Linux" ego stroking.  
- Theo de Raadt: Theo is an exceptional candidate. 
      Not only is he a more than adequate hacker; he attracts exactly the type 
      of people to OpenBSD that he wants, and will jettison those who are not up 
      to the task. While purging out all the less-than-adequate hackers in the 
      Linux project will inevitably attract negative publicity from Slashdot and 
      other "community" sites where these feeble hackers hang out, it will no 
      doubt strengthen Linux in the future. Just look at what Theo's strong 
      leadership has done for OpenBSD! He turned around the worthless "research 
      project" that was NetBSD and made it an enterprise-class firewall system. 
      I can only imagine the effect his Midas touch could have on the Linux 
      kernel.  
You have until the end of April 1, 23:59 Pacific Time to 
   submit your nominations to the list. The most nominated person will become 
   the leader of kernel development. I will examine the list of nominations and, 
   assuming that the winner wants the job, I will hand full control over to 
   them. I know that this is short notice, but knowing how obsessively most of 
   you check your inboxes, I figure you should have more than adequate time to 
   submit your recommendations. The decision will be final and no discussion 
   will be considered after it has been made, so choose carefully.
   Thank you.
   Linus  
Re: Linux needs new 
leadership. Sandy Harris 
([email protected]) Mon, 01 Apr 
2002 14:56:15 -0500 
   Linus Torvalds wrote:
   > ... rediscovering that balance I had in my life
   > before you all took my hobby and made it into a mass movement. I have
   > not decided who should take over maintenance of the kernel ...
   The obvious candidate is then the man who can take Linux 
   back
   to its roots as a simple little system hobbyists can play with,
   Professor Andrew Tanenbaum.
 
[Apr 1, 2002] Microsoft adopts Linux as a new BIOS. Linus 
Torvalds joins Microsoft
   April 1, 2002. LINUS TORVALDS, the creator of upstart operating system 
   Linux, will head a new division within Microsoft to develop a version of 
   Linux to replace old PC BIOS.
 Information contained in 
   a Microsoft memo leaked to the British publication Yellow Register  
   indicated that Windows XP is the last old-fashioned version of Microsoft OS 
   and that the next version of Microsoft Windows will be able to fully utilize 
   the  new BIOS. 
   Microsoft also plans to reorganize the hardware group into several 
   divisions with one being headed by Linus Torvalds and the other concentrating 
   on the providing help all major PC manufacturer to switch to new technology,  
   possibly by the end of the year. 
   Torvalds, who has been working for Transmeta -- the company that has close 
   ties with Microsoft with Microsoft co-founder Paul Allen as a major 
   stockholder , will head newly created Linux BIOS group. He also has 
   reportedly also been paid $US100 million in stock and cash for the rights to 
   use the Linux trademark.
 Microsoft  officials 
   would not comment on Torvalds' salary and duties.
   A Microsoft source, speaking on condition of anonymity, said the company 
   decided that Linux kernel will be perfect replacement for the old PC BIOS. He 
   said Microsoft President Steve Ballmer had stressed  that such an 
   approach represent the philosophy  ``if you can't beat `em, join `em 
   approach'', similar to the one ``we used when we embraced the Internet''. 
   There are many overlapping functions that are performed by both NT and Linux 
   and moving some of them to the BIOS level makes perfect sense. PCs just 
   outgrow old IBM BIOS and really need a new one. He stresses that Linux kernel 
   already supports FAT32 filesystem perfectly well and that Microsoft is 
   working on improving support for its flagship NTFS filesystem. 
   Torvalds was tight-lipped when contacted, but said Microsoft had ``he 
   always respected Microsoft technical achievements in applications area and 
   that they made him an offer he can't refuse''. 
   ``Anyway, it's time to make some dough from this open source thing. With 
   Linux companies stocks in the trash bin I cannot buy a Ferrari for myself and 
   new BMW for my wife. And I have three growing daughters and they soon will 
   need decent cars too. Currently I cannot even think about personal yacht.  
   Where's the justice in that?'' Torvalds said.
 
   ``Microsoft isn't all that bad and it really cares about its employees. And  
   the  new BIOS will be definitely better than they have before. And it 
   remains open sourced'' 
   Open source advocates contacted by Yellow Register expressed shock at 
   Torvalds sudden change of heart.
 ``I can't believe it. 
   I'm really shocked,'' a Melbourne Linux developer said. 
   ``Don't do it, Linus,'' another urged. ``First it was 
   (Open Source evangelist) Eric Raymond and now Linus. Who next, (Free Software 
   Foundation founder) Richard Stallman?'' ``I knew it as 
   soon as I heard he (Torvalds) had gone to work for (Paul Allen's company) 
   Transmeta,'' a poster to alt.microsoft.sucks said. 
   ``They couldn't develop it, so they're going to buy it, just like they did 
   with DOS.'' 
   International MetaData Corporation Advanced Technology 
   Markets program director, Travesty  Lowlife, said it was a  classic 
   example of a smart business decision that turns the tables for IBM and Sun.  
   ``Both IBM and Sun wanted to play Linux card against Microsoft, but Microsoft 
   again proved that they are just smarter than the competition '' he said. 
   Other observers stressed that  the timing is perfect that kernel 2.4 is 
   mature enough to replace old BIOS. That also might help to bury  the US 
   Government case against the company.  ``By embracing 
   Linux as a new BIOS, Gates effectively short circuits the (Department of 
   Justice) case against Microsoft, rendering it obsolete. 
   ``This strategic move will serve Microsoft well in the new Millennium. Now I 
   am pretty confident that Microsoft will remain the dominant player in PC 
   operating systems area for many years to come." 
[Feb 24, 2002]  Linux's momentum is undeniable. Just keep 
in mind the difference between unstoppable force and runaway train.
Dominic Preziosi, Senior Managing Editor, TechWeb
 Linus 
"Kernel" Torvalds accidentally reveals dark little mind of Larry Augustine ;-)
   By the end of the discussion, ``The State of 
   Open Source'' was painfully obvious. It's a mess. 
   Torvalds, who created the programming 
   ``kernel'' at the root of the open source operating system, would be just 
   fine with that assessment. He kept saying that open source was closer to 
   science than business and that he could care less about business goals or 
   what the customer wanted. 
   ``Science is not a product,'' said 
   Torvalds, becoming a little heated despite wearing shorts and sandals. 
   ``Everyone says that working together is good. But somewhere, in their dark, 
   little minds, they say, `I want to do this alone. I want to make millions.' 
   '' 
   It seemed as if all eyes turned to 
   the panel's moderator, Larry Augustine, the VA Linux chief executive officer 
   whose claim to fame is riding a huge Linux-hyped IPO into the ground while 
   profiting big time in the process. 
   Augustine smiled wanly and tried to steer the 
   conversation back to some more Microsoft bashing. And so it went. 
   The computer world's true believers are 
   finding the water pretty cold and the sharks pretty big out there. Whether 
   they want to admit it or not, programming for the love of it is about the 
   only option right now.
   In 1991, Linus Torvalds, a Swedish-speaking Finn at 
   Helsinki University, 
   mentions a project he's working on to comp.os.minix. As an aside, at the 
   bottom of the message is a request to test another program of his, a hack of 
   the Unix "finger" program that most half-decent Unix programmers could rustle 
   up in their sleep. The first project is a plan to write his own, UNIX-like 
   operating system. The disparity between this minor achievement and his aims 
   couldn't be more stark. 
   Years later, industry pundits will hail this as a seminal 
   moment in the history of computing. Thomas Scoville,
   
   writing in Salon Magazine, will describe in terms of Luther hammering his 
   demands onto the doors of Castle Church, and smashing the Papacy of Bill 
   Gates (Scoville also designed the Silicon Valley Tarot pack, which includes 
   cards like The Hacker, the Salesman of Networks, and the Four of Cubicles). 
   
   But if the religion has a leader, where are the followers to come from?On USENET, in comp.os.linux.advocacy, Stephen Edwards writes (http://www.dejanews.com/=dnt_lk/getdoc.xp?AN=410219167)
   
   
      > Oh, how fugging pathetic. Next thing you know, people 
      will be wearing
       > "L"s on gold chains around their necks, and praising 
      Linus Torvald's  sacrifices and teachings.
   
   Linus replies: 
   
      What the h*ll? They don't already? 
      Grumble. 
      Linus
   
[Apr 25, 2001]
The Register 
Amazon.co.uk has refused to pull reviews of Red Hat Linux 7.0 Deluxe edition by 
Bill Gates and Linus Torvalds off its site because they are not offensive.
   Reviewer: Linus Torvalds 
   from Finland
   Despite fifteen years using Linux (most of those with Red Hat) I would 
   recommend people to actually go out and use Windows. You see the actual Linux 
   OS is not too good, the kernel (core functions) is really bad and the GUI 
   elements feel like they've been stuck on with glue. Red Hat is really the 
   worst of the distros and after ten minutes of using it, you'll be reaching 
   for the Windows XP CD!
   "With so much news of layoffs in recent weeks, it probably 
   shouldn't come as any surprise that chipmaker Transmeta is also feeling the 
   bite. But the real shocker for HumorLinux 
   fans is that kernel master Linus Torvalds is among those who will be let go 
   on Monday...." 
   "Like Eazel and Zero Knowledge -- other open source 
   companies who recently laid off staff after having just announced apparently 
   good news -- Transmeta was in the headlines recently for having been chosen 
   to supply chips for Microsoft Tablet PCs. This has led some in the Linux 
   community to question if there is any connection between the Microsoft 
   contract and the layoffs. Was laying off Open Source's favorite son a 
   condition of the Microsoft contract?" 
   "Most emphatically not, according to Transmeta 
   Communications Manager Phillip Bergman. 'It was actually the logo for Midori 
   Linux which we found really inexcusable,' he said. 'We thought that since he 
   is from Europe, he'd have better taste than to choose something like that.'"
   
   "Bergman added, 'Plus, he's just not as funny as he used to 
   be.'"
??? Slashdot posting: Linus Torvalds 
was recently seen living under a freeway overpass
   The cat is out of the bag. Linus Torvalds was recently seen 
   living under a freeway overpass. When asked about his current living 
   conditions, he remarked "well, Transmeta had to lay me off, and they kept it 
   quiet because they didn't want to enrage their only customers -- Linux 
   geeks." What will this mean for the God of Linux? All the Linux companies are 
   showing cash shortfalls, and none appear to be hiring. A spokesman for Red 
   Hat commented, "We're just tapped out of money. We wish Linus well, but what 
   can we say? We got what we wanted out of him, and know he's going to have to 
   get a real job like the rest of us will have to sooner than later." 
   
   Linus appears to be taking it in stride. "Well, I've always 
   said that I wasn't interested in making money off Linux. And heck, this 
   overpass is not so bad. It's still better than Finland." 
   Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda of Slashdot, often thought of a 
   spiritual leader of Linux, commented that "Hey, he's welcome to crash at my 
   house, except that my house is due to be repo'ed any day know due to the VA 
   Linux stock price crash.
Linux should be set free (Humor)
by Anonymous Coward on Monday October 18, @09:40AM EDT (#18)
   We must let Linux permutate by itself without anybody in 
   control of it. There should be no Monster Dictator on top that demands what 
   should go in and what should not. We do not want another Stalin amongst our 
   comrades. We peasants should take control, not let any power hungry man on 
   top tell us how kernel lock synchronization should be implemented.With this way, all variations would grow, with the lackluster ones dying off. 
   There is no other way to evolve in our commune. We have to follow the example 
   of the human species in the world, in which we come to dominate the mammal 
   universe not because of our brute strength, but because of our superior 
   intelligence. If we blow each other up, that is the way it is, since the 
   survivors would be go on to build a better kernel (whatever that would be.)
So all comrades, rise to arm and pick out your mouse. We must topple anyone 
   with power within our group as they are the perpetrators to our progress 
   toward Utopia. Suppression of our freedom to do it anyway we want to shall 
   not be a rule of the game anymore.
   
   ! Central control is the true way of evolving.
   ZZZ 
   
	32BitsOnline.com
	(C) Clifford: So. What kinds of userland changes you 
   referred to a minute ago in the car, uh - what kinds of enhancements have you 
   made for the upcoming release?
   (LT) Linus Torvalds: Well. We talked a lot 
   about - em - Alan and I talked a lot about the things that were keeping Linux 
   from really taking over the desktop - not the things he and I usually talk 
   about - in the kernel space - but in the actual user functionality, and we 
   decided to go back to the beginning, as it were - back to the earliest 
   utilities that were available for the majority of the computer users out 
   there.
   (AC) Alan Cox: (To the waitress) I had the bangers - 
   the sausage, uh - and......you know, this doesn't taste like beer much. You 
   got any Guinness ?
   (W)Waitress: Well, honey, we have some of that Red 
   Hook, if you don't like the Bud....
   (AC) All right, I'll try it. You know, for all the 
   genius in the States you people really never got the hang of beer.....
   (W) Most folks around here think it's just right. 
   Where you from? New York?
   (AC) No..... England, actually. But I lived in North 
   Carolina for a couple of years...
   (W) Uh-Huh.
   (LT) ...er, as I was saying, the user space that 
   most of the people in the world were comfortable with, before the Windows 
   user space, and the command line...
   (AC) Mostly we were tired of getting all the crap in 
   the press about how difficult Linux was to use and customize - hey, mum, that 
   was good, can I have another?? And we thought since there was such an 
   incredible user base among people who had used DOS for such a long time that 
   we could....
   (LT) ...That we could really capitalize on this 
   specific group - people old enough to really make decisions in the companies 
   that they work for - IT executives, VP's in charge of purchasing...and...
   (AC) And "the media" just like you, Cliffie...
   ... ... ...
     ... ... ... ... ...
Linuxoids as  "openly 
using Linux people"  a new kind of  harmless perverts that need to be 
protected by the statute ? 
   It is commonly believed that 10% 
   of the population are Linux users.  Linux users often hide their use 
   from friends and family members.  Meeting other users in Linux only bars 
   or IRC channels.  Openly Linux using people often face extreme prejudice 
   and discrimination from co-workers and IT departments but say that this 
   bigotry must be confronted.  "I’ve never been beaten because of my open 
   sourceness, but I get a lot of ‘Linux sucks’ comments," said Jared Yttrium, 
   "I’m glad the statute is there to protect me."
   
      
         | "Accidental Revolutionary"? I've seen it before... 
         (Score:1) by nidarus on Wednesday November 29, @01:09AM EST (#232)
 (User 
         #240160 Info)
 | 
      
         | Wasn't the printed 
         version of "The Cathedral and the Bazaar" called "The Cathedral and the 
         Bazaar - Musings on Linux and Open Source by an Accidental 
         Revolutionary"? So who is the Accidental Revolutionary? ESR or Linus? Or maybe it's all 
         the people who are celebrities in the world of Open Source (so I guess 
         RMS is an Accidental Revolutionary as well).
 
 | 
      
         
         | EXCLUSIVE! (Score:2, 
         Funny) by theroge on Tuesday November 28, @12:24PM EST (#150)
 (User 
         #214016 Info) 
         http://www.mypeecee.org/
 
 | 
      
         
         | A quote leaked from 
         the manuscript at the publisher: "I wanted to create an OS better than the example OS use in my OS 
         class: MINIX. I never did succeed in making Linux better, but I had a 
         lot of fun on the way." Doesn't this say it all?
 | 
      
         | Coming Soon... (Score:5, 
         Funny) by jonfromspace
         ([email protected]) 
         on Tuesday November 28, @11:32AM EST (#98)
 (User 
         #179394 Info) 
         http://www.itpwebsolutions.com
 
 | 
      
         | Linus - The 
         Action Figure Linus - The Breakfast Cereal
 Linus - The FragranceLotteries are a tax on people that suck at 
         math
 | 
      
         | "Linus - The Unstoppable" The Movie 
         (Score:1) by Sabalon on Tuesday November 28, @01:36PM EST (#185)
 (User 
         #1684 Info)
 | 
      
         | See..... Linus take on Tannenbaum and obliterate Minux
 See.....Linus take on Bill and Lynne Joltz and
 leap ahead of 386BSD
 See.....Linus take on the Devil (either BSD or Bill
 Gates)
 See.....Linus rescue a colony of furry penguins.
 | 
   
   The original press conference read sort of like the Cheese 
   Shop Sketch.
   
      "The crusoe can emulate any chip at all."
      "Like a PowerPC?"
      "Theoretically."
      "Or an Alpha?"
      "Technically."
      "Or a Dragonball?"
      "Probably."
      "So what can it actually emulate?"
      "Any chip at all, so long as it's an x86."
   
   
      | 
		details (Score:3, Funny)by Golias on Tuesday June 27, @04:18PM EDT (#22)
 (User Info)
 | 
   
      | 
         It is starting to bug me that none of the 
         Transmeta-related press releases I have seen so far seem to give many 
         clues about the price of these chips. Sure they are low-power, low-heat 
         chips filled with all kinds of crunchy goodness, but how do they stack 
         up against, for example, the fondly remembered Strong-ARM in terms of 
         "!" for "$"?  For that matter, how to they compete in price against 
         the IBM-cabal's G3, which runs for hours off the static electricity of 
         your body and actually cools the air around its own heatsinks, but 
         costs more than a new family car... or the good old "de"Celeron, which 
         doubles your power bill and is so hot that you can cook an egg on the 
         next desk over, but can be bought in the Wal-mart bargain bin for $3 a 
         pop and overclocked to 1.5 GHz?  (Disclaimer: The above might contain a few slight 
         exaggerations of the strengths and weaknesses of various CPU's.)
 Information wants to be anthropomorphized. | 
GPL as Gate's Public License - not bad ;-)
   Let's give that poor Finn some relief. You've leaned on him 
   too long. Besides, he works for my buddy, Paul. Let's help Paul to get his 
   undivided attention for a while.
   SAN JOSE, CA -- The first sanctuary for the 
   new Church of Linux opened today in Silicon Valley. Church founders 
   celebrated by passing out Linux CDs to bystanders and by roasting Windows 98 
   CDs on a portable BBQ grill. "This is a milestone in computing history," one 
   observer noted. 
   The Church of Linux has received official 
   non-profit status from the State of California. It is now a recognized 
   religion. "We founded the CoL because, well, we think Linus Torvalds is God," 
   a CoL members said. "Who else could write such heavenly code? We are 
   currently writing an official Bible; right now we are endorsing 'The 
   Cathedral and the Bazaar' as an interrim manifesto." 
   ... ... ... 
   SANTA CLARA, CA -- The INS has reported 
   raiding the headquarters of Transmeta, Inc. to uncover a secret Finn 
   smuggling operation. Over the past few months, Transmeta has been secretly 
   bringing "Finnbacks", as they are called, into this country to work in their 
   chip design sweatshop.
   ... ... ... 
	How much bigger will the Linux market be in 2000? 
	
		- Jeremy Allison said 20% to 25% of shipping Intel systems. 
		
- Linus Torvalds said that he's always been bad at predicting 
		things and basically weaseled out of answering the question... 
- Sunil Saxena also declined to speculate. 
- Larry Augustin said that Linux would be the #1 Unix by 2000, 
		and something else that I missed. 
- Robert Hart mentioned the
		Datapro report 
		that showed only two OSes increased their corporate market share in 
		1997; Linux was one of them. He said the doubling time was 12 months, 
		which would imply between 20 million and 40 million Linux users; ``I'll 
		be surprised if we don't go beyond that.'' 
World domination: how much longer?
	[reference to Linus's rather famous stated goal in his 
	.sig or .plan or something] 
	
		- Linus Torvalds: ``That used to be a joke...
		[much laughter] ...and it's becoming 
		less and less so.'' He said his ego hopes it will happen in 5 to 10 
		years; but realistically he hopes that, in 5 to 10 years, no one 
		dominates the industry. 
What is Samba's role in Linux's acceptance? 
	
		- Jeremy Allison first asked for a show of hands; it appeared 
		that roughly 40% of the audience used Samba. Then he gave the short 
		answer to the question: Samba ``essentially allows people to remove NT 
		servers.'' He noted that SGI is officially adopting Samba
		[recall that they, like HP, are now selling NT 
		systems as the low end of their product line] and that ``some 
		crazy folks are running it straight off of [CDs??] 
		with 200 users'' (mostly universities who ``do not want NT''). By 
		the end of the year he hopes that Samba will be able to completely 
		replace all primary NT Server functions. 
Corel's Network Computer is running Linux, as is Cobalt's MicroServer 
	(a 7-inch cube)--these are basically Linux appliances.
	[not sure what the question was, exactly...]
	
	
		- Larry Augustin commented that other companies are taking 
		notice and saying, ``Hey, we could do that, too.'' 
Open Source is obviously just another fad...isn't it? 
	
		- Larry Augustin was the first to disagree; he said that Open 
		Source is here to stay--for example, it allows a company like Netscape 
		to compete on its own terms against Microsoft, not on Microsoft's terms. 
		It also supports a Darwinian model: if one vendor's support is lacking, 
		you've got the source and can take your money (and business) elsewhere. 
		That's not possible with the closed-source model epitomized by 
		Microsoft. 
- Robert Hart expanded on that point: it's all about control. 
		If you need a new feature or bug fix or other customization, you can 
		simply hire someone to do it for you. ``You don't need anyone's 
		permission; just do it!'' I believe he related an example of a company 
		with a large application that was in dire need of a bugfix; they were 
		willing to spend essentially any amount of money or manpower to get the 
		thing working, but their vendor was unresponsive and they had no real 
		alternatives. 
- Jeremy Allison claimed that he was fundamentally ``a lazy 
		programmer'' and that the Open Source model is a way of letting the 
		users do the work. [more laughter] 
		He mentioned that some incredible Samba patches occasionally turn up in 
		his e-mail--often oddball customizations that are only useful to a few 
		people, but to them they're extremely useful. ``Imagine asking Microsoft 
		to do a custom NT Server for your site.'' 
What will be the long-term effects on Linux of Microsoft's recent win 
	against Netscape (i.e., bundling MSIE in Win98)?
	
		- Linus Torvalds dismissed the Department of Justice and the US 
		legal system as important factors in Linux's future; ``the only thing 
		that will matter is the market.'' In fact, he claimed that it's an 
		advantage since there are lots of companies who find it hard to compete 
		when Microsoft sees what they're doing and simply incorporates similar 
		technology directly into the OS. In the Linux arena they can find a 
		niche and compete (echoing Larry's comments above), as Corel has, for 
		example. ``That's one reason why, in the end, a monopoly just doesn't 
		work. [pause] Maybe that's just 
		me...'' 
What do we need to do to get apps (such as from Adobe and Quark, which 
	are the only non-Linux apps used by Linux Journal) ported to Linux? 
	
		- Robert Hart said that there are just two things: let them 
		know you want Linux ports, and show them that there's profit to be made. 
		
- Larry Augustin related an
		article 
		seen on Slashdot earlier in the day about Informix's unannounced 
		Linux port and said the key is to tell vendors, ``If you port it to 
		Linux, we will buy it.'' [Three days later,
		Slashdot 
		and
		
		InfoWorld Electric report a sudden reversal of plans at Oracle: 
		they will be porting Oracle 8 to Linux after all. In fact, they say 
		that they've had it running internally for a while already. See also 
		InfoWorld Electric's article on
		
		Informix's official Linux announcement, expected next week.] 
		
With regard to the Linux Standard Base (a standard for base-level 
	compatibility across Linux distributions), Red Hat and Debian's standard 
	package formats, Red Hat's early adoption of glibc vs. everyone else, etc.: 
	are we doing this right? Are there too many Linux ``standards''? 
	
		- Robert Hart had three points in response. First, there's a 
		lot of discussion between the various distribution makers, precisely for 
		the purpose of avoiding fragmentation. Second, there's a danger of 
		stultifying and crushing the rapid pace of development and the 
		incredible customization choices available to users if there's too much 
		rigidity and standardization. Third, to the other distributions: 
		``Please get with it--glibc is the only actively maintained C library.'' 
		
- Larry Augustin countered that he's seen a lot of users who, 
		when they upgraded to Red Hat 5.x, found that ``everything broke.''
		[Thanks to 
		Jason Riedy for the reminder that just installing the older libc 
		5.4.x somewhere in the library path isn't sufficient; most shared 
		libraries used by older apps need to be duplicated, as was the case in 
		the changeover from a.out to ELF binaries a couple of years ago.] 
		``You're in the big time now. Some things (like Informix) users can't 
		simply recompile--try to make things easier for people and remain 
		compatible.'' 
What if Microsoft plays the Linux game? For example, Open Windows 99 
	or Internet Explorer for Linux? 
	
		- Linus Torvalds first noted that he's working at a 
		company [Transmeta] whose product 
		won't be available on the Internet. He went on to say that he has a lot 
		of respect for Microsoft's PR machine, and ``let's hope they do.'' 
- Jeremy Allison apparently interpreted ``Open Windows 99'' as 
		a hypothetical Microsoft release based on Linux and said that he would 
		welcome MS Linux--the GNU General Public License (GPL) limits abuse. 
		``If they change it, we'd get the source code,'' to which Linus 
		muttered, ``We could fix it, too.'' [much 
		applause and laughter] 
NASA, NIST, the US Postal Service, (IRS?)--is the US Government the 
	first step toward world domination? 
	
		- Linus Torvalds: ``I hadn't really thought of that, but now 
		that you've planted the idea...'' [more 
		chuckles] 
Society
Groupthink :
Two Party System 
as Polyarchy : 
Corruption of Regulators :
Bureaucracies :
Understanding Micromanagers 
and Control Freaks : Toxic Managers :  
Harvard Mafia :
Diplomatic Communication 
: Surviving a Bad Performance 
Review : Insufficient Retirement Funds as 
Immanent Problem of Neoliberal Regime : PseudoScience :
Who Rules America :
Neoliberalism
 : The Iron 
Law of Oligarchy : 
Libertarian Philosophy
Quotes
 
War and Peace 
: Skeptical 
Finance : John 
Kenneth Galbraith :Talleyrand :
Oscar Wilde :
Otto Von Bismarck :
Keynes :
George Carlin :
Skeptics :
Propaganda  : SE 
quotes : Language Design and Programming Quotes :
Random IT-related quotes : 
Somerset Maugham :
Marcus Aurelius :
Kurt Vonnegut :
Eric Hoffer :
Winston Churchill :
Napoleon Bonaparte :
Ambrose Bierce : 
Bernard Shaw : 
Mark Twain Quotes
Bulletin:
Vol 25, No.12 (December, 2013) Rational Fools vs. Efficient Crooks The efficient 
markets hypothesis :
Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2013 :
Unemployment Bulletin, 2010 :
 Vol 23, No.10 
(October, 2011) An observation about corporate security departments :
Slightly Skeptical Euromaydan Chronicles, June 2014 :
Greenspan legacy bulletin, 2008 :
Vol 25, No.10 (October, 2013) Cryptolocker Trojan 
(Win32/Crilock.A) :
Vol 25, No.08 (August, 2013) Cloud providers 
as intelligence collection hubs : 
Financial Humor Bulletin, 2010 :
Inequality Bulletin, 2009 :
Financial Humor Bulletin, 2008 :
Copyleft Problems 
Bulletin, 2004 :
Financial Humor Bulletin, 2011 :
Energy Bulletin, 2010 : 
Malware Protection Bulletin, 2010 : Vol 26, 
No.1 (January, 2013) Object-Oriented Cult :
Political Skeptic Bulletin, 2011 :
Vol 23, No.11 (November, 2011) Softpanorama classification 
of sysadmin horror stories : Vol 25, No.05 
(May, 2013) Corporate bullshit as a communication method  : 
Vol 25, No.06 (June, 2013) A Note on the Relationship of Brooks Law and Conway Law
History:
Fifty glorious years (1950-2000): 
the triumph of the US computer engineering :
Donald Knuth : TAoCP 
and its Influence of Computer Science : Richard Stallman 
: Linus Torvalds  :
Larry Wall  :
John K. Ousterhout : 
CTSS : Multix OS Unix 
History : Unix shell history :
VI editor :
History of pipes concept :
Solaris : MS DOS 
:  Programming Languages History :
PL/1 : Simula 67 :
C :
History of GCC development : 
Scripting Languages :
Perl history   :
OS History : Mail :
DNS : SSH 
: CPU Instruction Sets :
SPARC systems 1987-2006 :
Norton Commander :
Norton Utilities :
Norton Ghost :
Frontpage history :
Malware Defense History :
GNU Screen : 
OSS early history
Classic books:
The Peter 
Principle : Parkinson 
Law : 1984 :
The Mythical Man-Month : 
How to Solve It by George Polya :
The Art of Computer Programming :
The Elements of Programming Style :
The Unix Hater’s Handbook :
The Jargon file :
The True Believer :
Programming Pearls :
The Good Soldier Svejk : 
The Power Elite
Most popular humor pages:
Manifest of the Softpanorama IT Slacker Society :
Ten Commandments 
of the IT Slackers Society : Computer Humor Collection 
: BSD Logo Story :
The Cuckoo's Egg :
IT Slang : C++ Humor 
: ARE YOU A BBS ADDICT? :
The Perl Purity Test :
Object oriented programmers of all nations 
: Financial Humor :
Financial Humor Bulletin, 
2008 : Financial 
Humor Bulletin, 2010 : The Most Comprehensive Collection of Editor-related 
Humor : Programming Language Humor :
Goldman Sachs related humor :
Greenspan humor : C Humor :
Scripting Humor :
Real Programmers Humor :
Web Humor : GPL-related Humor 
: OFM Humor :
Politically Incorrect Humor :
IDS Humor : 
"Linux Sucks" Humor : Russian 
Musical Humor : Best Russian Programmer 
Humor : Microsoft plans to buy Catholic Church 
: Richard Stallman Related Humor :
Admin Humor : Perl-related 
Humor : Linus Torvalds Related 
humor : PseudoScience Related Humor :
Networking Humor :
Shell Humor :
Financial Humor Bulletin, 
2011 : Financial 
Humor Bulletin, 2012 :
Financial Humor Bulletin, 
2013 : Java Humor : Software 
Engineering Humor : Sun Solaris Related Humor :
Education Humor : IBM 
Humor : Assembler-related Humor :
VIM Humor : Computer 
Viruses Humor : Bright tomorrow is rescheduled 
to a day after tomorrow : Classic Computer 
Humor 
The Last but not Least  Technology is dominated by 
two types of people: those who understand what they do not manage and those who manage what they do not understand ~Archibald Putt. 
Ph.D
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Last modified: 
March 12, 2019