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Casino Capitalism Chronicles

Back in the Goode Olde Days, people spent uncounted hours trying to forecast the future. If they had a cat, they could try felidomancy, which is the art of using cats to predict the future. If they had feet, they could try pedomancy. Nowadays, people indulge in fedomancy, which is the art of predicting interest rates by observing the Federal Reserve Board. It's a difficult practice. John Wagooner,  USA Today God, grant me the capital to accept the things I cannot change; the reserves to change the things I can; and the Fed Auction when all that blows up. Amen. Calculated Risk

If Her Majesty the Queen wishes to be truly illuminated why most economists failed to see the Crash coming, it's very simple: you get what you pay for.

Due to the size financial skeptic dictionary is now converted to a separate page

Old News ;-)

[Nov 19, 2009] Dodd Bernanke Confirmation “Not Necessarily” a Foregone Conclusion

naked capitalism

Kevin de Bruxelles:

In order to analyze this statement from Senator Dodd one must understand the true relationship between the Democratic Party and the working and middle class people of the United States. And to do that one needs to look no further than this recent article about cuckolded fathers in the New York Times:

It was in July 2007 when Mike L. asked the Pennsylvania courts to declare that he was no longer the father of his daughter. For four years, Mike had known that the girl he had rocked to sleep and danced with across the living-room floor was not, as they say, “his.” The revelation from a DNA test was devastating and prompted him to leave his wife — but he had not renounced their child. He continued to feel that in all the ways that mattered, she was still his daughter, and he faithfully paid her child support. It was only when he learned that his ex-wife was about to marry the man who she said actually was the girl’s biological father that Mike flipped. Supporting another man’s child suddenly became unbearable.

Two years after filing the suit that sought to end his paternal rights, Mike is still irate about the fix he’s in. “I pay child support to a biologically intact family,” Mike told me, his voice cracking with incredulity. “A father and mother, married, who live with their own child. And I pay support for that child. How ridiculous is that?”

Substitute the cuckold Mike L. with working and middle class people.

Substitute the unnamed slut wife with the Democrats.

Substitute the real father of the baby with rich bankster studs.

Substitute the bastard baby with Democratic Party policy.

Now with this framework in mind are we really going to take seriously anything that cheating wife (Sen. Dodd) says? Is she throwing our loser asses one more pathetic ray of hope that she is going to change her ways and stop banging the bankster stud?

Are we really going to buy this crap one more time?

Or are we going to get mad as hell and put an end to this shameful charade.

The Rage:

This site just kills me with the psuedo-populism. You really think you are going to get somebody better than Bernanke? Give me a break. I could care less.

nowhereman:

A chimp with a pocket calculator would be better than “didn’t see this coming” Bernanke.

[Nov 19, 2009] Goldman: Flu Fear Spurs Donation! By Rick Ambrose

November 18th, 2009

(Reuters) New York: Having inoculated its employees with H1N1 vaccine dosages usurped from pregnant women and children, Goldman Sachs has increased its vigilance against the contagious virus by banning employee contact with spare change.

An internal memo outlines steps staff should take to avoid becoming ill, starting with the eradication of the potentially infected currency that may have lodged itself under the seats of their automobiles. The hazardous materials are being collected and sent to Small Business for disposal.

The memo also advised employees to “resist the urge to open your own car door ; let your driver do it.”

-Richard Ambrose

Space_Cowboy_NW:

Somehow, the poingant tone of ‘F#ck The Masses’ seems to resonate instep with “Doing God’s Work”.

As always, your mileage may vary……

“Action speaks louder than words but not nearly as often. ” -Mark Twain

bsneath:

While the risk of such an occurence is considered remote, Goldman employees were advised not to perform holiday volunteer work at soup kitchens or other locations frequented by poor people. “We are taking this action to avoid any potential contamination of employees in key profit centers.” Said Lucas Von Pragg, spokesperson for Goldman Sachs. He went on to say, “We feel we can better help these people by continuing our good work at making the markets more efficient for all.”

[Nov 19, 2009] Gramm- Glass Steagall Repeal Irrelevant

That really the dumbest quote of the day. How such guy could get a Ph.D ???

Phil Gramm, the former Republican Senator from Texas who co-wrote the act that undid Glass-Steagall, has our DQotD:>

“I’ve never seen any evidence to substantiate any claim that this current financial crisis had anything to do with Gramm-Leach-Bliley. In fact, you couldn’t have had the assisted takeovers you had. More institutions would have failed.”

Your dumb Quote of the Day is sponsored by Cognitive Dissonance, a Nasdaq Company . . .

[Nov 18, 2009] Economy of Losers

"They are the winners – they are, after all, doing God’s work. Like money missionaries. We don’t hate them for that. How could we? If all those lazy unemployed folk would get off their asses, get accepted to Harvard, graduate, preferably with a law degree, and get a job with God’s chosen company, they too can be winners. See it’s that simple."

The Big Picture

Transor Z:

Yeah, I think that’s it. Goldman is the big winner and everyone else is a bunch of losers. They should go with that.

I can just imagine the PR campaign to go with that. FUCK YOU WORLD — YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS!

Keep pokin’ that tiger, baby.

mknowles:

GOLDMAN CONTINUES-TO-SACK-USA

the beat goes on…

Brendan:

I totally agree, this “social contract” stuff is for wusses. Thieves and scammers are so cool and they should get extra kudos when doing totally unethical things that are technically legal. They’re such winners. People holding up their end of the bargain are losers for being naive enough to actual obey some type of structure for the common good. But Newmark’s got it wrong, GS aren’t true winners yet. The only true winners, anymore, are warlords living in places like sub-Saharan Africa. Why would a true winner live or base their business in such a regulated environment. True winners wipe their asses with contracts: social, verbal or paper ones. Goldman needs to take it to the next level and open up an office in Darfur staffed by gorilla mercenaries. That way they can do whatever they want without things like “laws” and “ethics” getting in the way. On top of that, they really need to stop trading stocks and start trading slaves. What their doing now clearly isn’t selfish enough. Stop being so meek, Goldman; true winners trade actual human lives for a quick buck, not just people’s livelyhoods. I hope someday I can be a winner and profit from misery.

/snark (in case it wasn’t obvious enough!)

olephart:

Evan Newmark, another name for Madame Defarge’s knittings.

vachon:

Blaming the victim is a time honored tradition for the WSJ. You expect less?

[Nov 16, 2009] Ralph Cioffi Acquitted, World Breathes Collective Sigh of Relief by Joshua M Brown

November 10, 2009

Nelson Mandela. Gerry Conlon.  Rubin “Hurricane” Carter. Spiritual Leaders, Freedom Fighters and Saints Among Men – all falsely accused, wrongfully imprisoned and later exonerated as justice eventually prevailed.

Today you can add Bear Stearns hedge fund managers Ralph Cioffi and Matthew Tannin to that list,  as the world collectively breathes a sigh of relief.

Detaining these two paragons of virtue for even a second could perhaps be considered the gravest travesty in the history of mankind’s rule of law.  Never before has such a moral trespass been committed against such virginal innocence.

Any reasonable person, upon hearing of the charges levied against Mr Cioffi and Mr Tannin, must conclude that their actions were entirely altruistic and above reproach.

To wit:

• Yes, they blew up $1.6 billion worth of other people’s money – but what’s $1.6 billion in a country with a deficit of $14 trillion?

• Yes, they sent emails internally about what a toxic time bomb the fund they managed was while simultaneously encouraging investors to “hang in there” – but couldn’t we simply interpret this gentle transgression as their own way of spreading cheer to their soon-to-be devastated clients?

• And yes, they were shown to have moved their personal money out of the imploding fund while creating the impression that all was well – but if anything, should not we commend them for making sure they had some personal fortune left with which to provide stimulus to their local Lamborghini dealerships?  Such generosity and forethought!

[Nov 16, 2009] The New-New Gettysburg Address

Four or five years ago our Investment Bankers helped bring forth on this continent, and around the world, a new banking system, conceived in Leverage, and dedicated to the proposition that all persons working for Investment Banks can create enormous Wealth for themselves with almost no Risk except to Taxpayers.

Now we the Investment Bankers of Goldman Sachs are engaged in a great Scam, testing whether that Nation of Bankers can get paid without Tipping Off the Taxpayers to that Scam.

We have come to cash our checks.

It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this, for we have Houses in the Hamptons requiring upkeep.

But, in a check-clearing sense, we can not Cash Our Checks so long as AIG cannot make good on the credit default swaps we purchased to Hedge our Leverage. Thankfully, the brave men of Goldman who struggled to Attain Positions of Power in Treasury and the White House have consecrated it, far above Barney Frank’s poor power to detract from our AIG Contracts.

The Small Investor will little note, nor long remember, how completely screwed He got, but we the Investment Bank of Goldman Sachs can never forget what they did to provide us this cash. We thank them for the $8 billion Their Government is paying to AIG in order to Make Us Whole.

We here highly resolve that The Little Investor shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under Goldman Sachs, shall have a new birth of Leverage Without Risk—and that government of Goldman, by Goldman, and for Goldman, shall not perish from the earth.

[Nov 16, 2009] Obama Wants Spending Cuts, He Should Start With Military

Bileaf:

clear majorities of Virginia and New Jersey voters said they were worried about the direction of the nation's economy. In both states, Republicans won gubernatorial seats that had been held by Democrats."

Yes! Finally! The Republicans are gaining control!

Now if they can get the Senate, the Congress and the White House, we'll be back on the road to being fiscally responsible...

Wait a minute...weird feeling...oh crap...they were in total control for 6 years and they led us here...dang...oh well...scratch that plan.

VegasBob:

“And exactly what was Bush the Dumber? A pacifist?

HARM:

Yeah, give the polite, well spoken servant for Lord Blankcheck more time. He has at least 3 more years to sell out.

CauseAnd Effect:

Patriot Act as strong as ever and more troops headed to Afcramistan. GS still running the country. Yup, he's all about change.

Pedro the Crossdressing Landscaper:

Time for Obama to resign.

riverside rebel:

You know it's surreal when the one who is waging two wars gets the Nobel Peace prize!

PONCHOVILLA:

There should be a warning sign just outside the Beltway:
INCEST ZONE SLIPPERY WHEN WET OR DRY. This area of the country is the modern day WOODSTOCK with FREE LOVE FREE MONEY AND FREE DRUGS. Just about something for everyone except the religious conservatives or so they say they are.

Unintended consequences? Only to the blind and uniformed.

Ron Paul represents a Texas Cowboy conservative base. That�’s a gun carrying, horse loving, beer and hard liquor drinking boot wearing man with a few $20 gold eagles in his saddlebag and has a �“little woman�” at every pony express stop. �“Best Little Whorehouse in Texas�” anyone? Their idea of a supreme court is justices in white robes and hoods. Expedited justice at the end of a rope. They also are great conspiracy theorists and bemoan the Federal Reserve Act of 1913. Wikyourpedia link http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Federal_Reserve_System

They also believe the world is run by a secret G7 group of seven powerful rich white guys and want the US back on the gold standard. Many more conspiracy theories here. Ron Paul speaks unadulterated cowboy language. The truth as he knows it and will be re-elected to oblivion even after his death.

Gold is an archaic limited supply form of money. Best use as jewelry (not for cowboys except their little woman) but good for a gold watches, gold teeth and especially gold for $20 gold eagles. Cowboy law requires physical gold as a source of wealth. This is why PONCHOVILLA likes gold.

Today extraction of physical gold from the earth is environmentally dangerous (mercury and cyanide) and consumes massive amounts of energy and wastes volumes of water. Therefore gold will maintain a base line intrinsic value compared to �“paper�” money or digital money backed by �“FOOL FAITH and CREDIT�” of various governments.

Beware of �“FOOLS GOLD�” in digital, paper, rock, or alchemists form unless you have lots of fools lined up outside the saloon. We looked outside the saloon just before we passed out and saw a big crowd.

Pedro the Schizophrenic Landscaper :

LEAVE OBAMA ALONE!!!

Listen, guys....

• Obama inherited this defecit... AND HE'LL GET US OUT OF IT!!
• Obama also inherited this recession... and he ALREADY GOT US OUT OF IT!!
• And speaking of which, Obama also inherited these two wars... and he WILL GET US OUT OF THEM!!

So, just relax, and TAKE A CHILL-PILL, ALREADY!!! Sheesh, by the way you pantywaists are carrying on, you'd think our once-great empire is on the decline, or something.

Shankopotomus:

Two headlines I expect in early 2010:

1st quarter military spending comes in "better than expected"

Taliban benefits have been extended an additional 14 weeks

[Nov 14, 2009] Paul Krugman: Free to Lose

What should we do about "the terrible employment situation"?:

Free to Lose, by Paul Krugman, Commentary, NY Times: Consider, for a moment, a tale of two countries. Both have suffered a severe recession and lost jobs as a result — but not on the same scale. In Country A, employment has fallen more than 5 percent, and the unemployment rate has more than doubled. In Country B, employment has fallen only half a percent, and unemployment is only slightly higher than it was before the crisis.

Don’t you think Country A might have something to learn from Country B?

This story isn’t hypothetical. Country A is the United States, where stocks are up, G.D.P. is rising, but the terrible employment situation just keeps getting worse. Country B is Germany, which took a hit to its G.D.P. when world trade collapsed, but has been remarkably successful at avoiding mass job losses. Germany’s jobs miracle ... raises serious questions about whether the U.S. government is doing the right things to fight unemployment.

Here in America,... we don’t really have a jobs policy: we have a G.D.P. policy. The theory is that by stimulating overall spending we can make G.D.P. grow faster, and this will induce companies to stop firing and resume hiring.

The alternative would be policies that address the job issue more directly. We could, for example, have New-Deal-style employment programs. Perhaps such a thing is politically impossible now ... but we should note, for the record, that at their peak, the W.P.A. and the Civilian Conservation Corps employed millions of Americans, at relatively low cost to the budget.

Alternatively, or in addition, we could have policies that support private-sector employment. Such policies could range from labor rules that discourage firing to financial incentives for companies that either add workers or reduce hours to avoid layoffs.

And that’s what the Germans have done. Germany came into the Great Recession with strong employment protection legislation. This has been supplemented with a “short-time work scheme,” which provides subsidies to employers who reduce workers’ hours rather than laying them off. These measures didn’t prevent a nasty recession, but Germany got through the recession with remarkably few job losses.

Should America be trying anything along these lines..., if only as a stopgap?

Now, the usual objection to European-style employment policies is that they’re bad for long-run growth... And in normal times there’s something to be said for American-style “free to lose” labor markets, in which employers can fire workers at will but also face few barriers to new hiring.

But these aren’t normal times. Right now, workers who lose their jobs aren’t moving to the jobs of the future; they’re entering the ranks of the unemployed and staying there. Long-term unemployment is already at its highest levels since the 1930s, and it’s still on the rise.

And long-term unemployment inflicts long-term damage. Workers who have been out of a job for too long often find it hard to get back into the labor market even when conditions improve. And there are hidden costs, too — not least for children, who suffer physically and emotionally when their parents spend months or years unemployed.

So it’s time to try something different. ... Should we introduce an employment tax credit, like the one proposed by the Economic Policy Institute? Should we introduce the German-style job-sharing subsidy proposed by the Center for Economic Policy Research? Both are worthy of consideration.

The point is that we need to start doing something more than, and different from, what we’re already doing. And the experience of other countries suggests that it’s time for a policy that explicitly and directly targets job creation.

Selected Comments

gordon:

Well, at least Prof. Krugman isn't advocating a bigger military. That's a relief.

I have now lost count of the number of times I have linked to the Economic Policy Institute's Agenda For Shared Prosperity. Is it possible to wear out a memory location by accessing it too often?

http://www.sharedprosperity.org/

I keep on posting this link because the Agenda seems to be a significant proposal which addresses a lot of the concerns of contemporary Americans, but which for some reason seems to be forgotten. I'm not aware that it ever received much (any) serious discussion. So here I go again, linking to it (twice in one comment!)

http://www.sharedprosperity.org/

b:

Germany has a number of measures in place that delay unemployment as a consequence of recession (such as forced reduction of work hours etc.). That works well for short recessions, but the ultimate verdict on this one is out as Germany either haqs to extend this scheme, or suffer the unemployment impact with a delay.

If, courtesy Obama and the Paulson/Summers/Rubin "school" of stagnatist reactionism, unemployment will be systemically higher for a decade or more, new arrangements will have to be found, whatever abstract priorities Summers might imagine on his cloud up there. Germany might be closer to a solution, but no more likely to actually follow through - the latest I heard was increasing work hours per week per job (no more 30/35 hour week).

If you have mass unemployment to maximize some arbitrary "output" (how much shit comes out at the end), and just abandon those that lost out in the competition for jobs, then, even if you manage to sell all that "output" to another country where "consumers" can still afford to "consume", your beautiful production peristaltics might find itself choking on domestic unrest. That's Germany between the wars.

[Nov 14, 2009] State Budget Quote of the Day, and more Bank Failure Preview

On the Verge of Self Mutilation:

 Arnold could save us if he stopped being such a damn suit.

Annex Baja. Trade for Catalina if necessary.

Give everything east of the I-5 to Arizona and Nevada.

Build a desalination plant.
Legalize prostitution.
Legalize Marijuana.
Legalize gay marriage.

We'd still be broke, but at least we'd be having a great time.

Welcome to the Land of Fruits and Nuts: Sustainable Ass, Grass, and Sass for the 21st Century.

NOTaREALmerican:

On the Verge of Self Mutilation wrote:

Arnold could save us if he stopped being such a damn suit.

He could save us if he'd just stop pretending he's not the Terminator. I can't figure out what he's waiting for.

[Nov 13, 2009] Résumé Tips For CEOs, Board Members

Mish's Global Economic Trend Analysis

Appropriate Cover Letters

CEO and board seekers have had it so easy over the past 10 years they forgot the necessary skill of writing appropriate cover letters. Moreover those cover letters need to be tailored for the exact position being sought.

For example, "Tin Hat", a poster on this very blog, listed a sample cover letter for someone seeking that AIG position, should it open up:

Dear AIG,

I am highly qualified for the position of AIG Chief Executive given that I possess all the skills necessary to lay waste of what's left of AIG.

I have no conscience, guilt or remorse. I am able to extort money from taxpayers and Congress by convincing them I do God's work. I am very skilled at making numbers fuzzier, covering up losses and generating bonuses so large even a blank check would blush. I have no concern for leverage, torch bearing mobs, Congress or President Obama.

I'm convinced that together, we can squeeze the middle class so successfully, they would be envious of the Haitian life style. I am looking forward to discussing this personally profitable opportunity with you soon.

Sincerely

AIG Candidate

Clearly that is an extremely powerful cover letter. It is tailored specifically to AIG and lists all the skills required to run any large financial corporation these days.

The only thing lacking is a connection to Goldman Sachs or Tim Geithner. That could be a problem. Otherwise it is perfect. Also note how easy that sample cover letter would be to modify. A few simple changes and the cover letter would be entirely suitable for would be seekers of CEO or board member at Bank of America.

"Tin Hat" and I are both proud to do our part to help out in these trying times. Would be CEOs, all you need to do on your part is to get your cover letters in order.

Let's get America hiring again, the right talent for the right job. It all starts with an appropriate cover letter attached to your résumé.

[Nov 13, 2009] God's Work and Goldman's Prayer

Mish's Global Economic Trend Analysis

Given that Goldman is doing "God's work" and that CEO Lloyd Blankfein is arguably "god on earth", it is fitting for there to be a prayer in his honor.

Tonight I received a prayer in the email dedicated to Lloyd. Unfortunately I do not know the origin, so I do not know who to credit. I also modified a few sentences that I did not think fit very well and added sentences where they were missing.

My Version of "Lloyd's Prayer"

Our chairman who art at Goldman
Blankfein be thy name
Thy rally’s come, God’s work be done
In the Dow as it is in the Nasdaq
Give us this day our daily gain
And forgive us our frontruning, as we punish those who frontrun against us
And bring us not under indictment
But deliver us from regulators
For thine is the cashflow, and the power, and the bonuses, forever and ever.

Amen

... ... ...

Addendum:

"Black Swan" Comments:

When I went to elementary school, we started each day with the Lord's Prayer and the Pledge of Allegiance.

Since the LLoyd's Prayer has already been covered, why not cover the Pledge of Subservience?

Pledge of Subservience

I pledge Allegiance to the Fed
of the United States of America
and to the corruption for which it stands,
one nation under Goldman, easily divisible,
with criminal acts against all.

[Nov 12, 2009] The LLOYD’s Prayer By Barry Ritholtz

He’s doing god’s work. He failed to mention that the god was Mammon. "And Bring Us Not Under Indictment." ;-)

November 12th, 2009 | The Big Picture

via Bill King, we get  this modest variation of The Lord’s Prayer:>

THE LLOYD’s Prayer

Our Chairman,
Who Art At Goldman,
Blankfein Be Thy Name.
The Rally’s Come. God’s Work Be Done
On Earth As There’s No Fear Of Correction.
Give Us This Day Our Daily Gains,
And Bankrupt Our Competitors
As You Taught Lehman and Bear Their Lessons.
And Bring Us Not Under Indictment.
For Thine Is The Treasury,
The House And The Senate
Forever and Ever.
Goldman.

Hat tip Scott F.

Transor Z :

Mammon’s relatively benevolent compared to the diety he probably had in mind.

capt dave:

Another GS prayer at Zero Hedge comments (HT Jupiter):

The FED is my shepherd; I shall not want.

It maketh me to lie down in green shootsdom: it leadeth me beside the still Lehman.

It restoreth my credit: it leadeth me down the paths of leverage for its name’s sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of debt, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy TARP and thy TALF they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my balance sheet with digits; my bonuses runneth over.

Surely profits and influence shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the FED for ever.

[Nov 11, 2009] A comprehensive solution to combustible markets -  by Barney Frank

The Boston Globe

BenWhite:

Barney Frank redefines Chutzpah. The arsonist first on the scene blaming the fire department.

brighton346

This is like the captain of the Titanic, who escapes the sinking by dressing up in women's clothes to get onto the lifeboat, demanding to be named Secretary of the Navy.

[Nov 10, 2009] Larry Summers to 15 million unemployed Americans, "Go fuck yourselves."

EconoSpeak

Translation:

"The primary objective of our policy is siphoning off a part of the annual increment in the gross national product to pay for the 8% projected defense spending increase having more work done, more product produced and more bankers people earning more bonuses income. It may be desirable for the unemployed to have a given amount of work shared among more people. But screw them. But that's not as desirable to Goldman-Sachs as expanding the total amount of slave labor, waste and profiteering work."

[Nov 10, 2009] "Kill all the bankers" iPhone app

Gameloft's new topical castle defense game ;-)

rayme4raw

Finally a real enemy and not the make believe terrorists that congress uses to promote a policy of never ending war.

[Nov 10, 2009] Bailout Wars by Gameloft

"Bonuses at financial firms worldwide will increase by an average of 40% this year, according to an annual report released Monday. " - CNN

Its time to take your own measures against the recession! Make the bankers take responsibility for causing it!

dunno199:

I love gameloft's sense of humor. So glad I subscribed!

[Nov 10, 2009] Dr.Mishkin or How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Bubble

Former Fed governor Fred Mishkin distinguishes between bad bubbles, that hurt banks, and good bubbles like the tech bubble, that just hurt investors and distort the economy.

Is the Fed creating a bubble in equities now? Probably.

Do they care, are they concerned? No, not according to ex Fed governor Fred Mishkin.

... .Here is why Fred Mishkin has learned to stop worrying and love irrational exuberance fueled by reckless monetary expansion and financial engineering.

[Nov 10, 2009] NY Governor- "Unprecedented financial challenge"

Nemo:

 And that is why we need Wall Street bankers to receive record bonuses this year.

SNAFU:

IBGYBG , heard that on a PBS show this past week. Most managers I have worked with/for at all levels , for the last 20 years, in corporations of all sizes, make decisions based on the IBGYBG assumption. Its not the corporation, not even the division; its the managers immediate gains based on IBGYBG principle. 'Y' usually meant his/her immediate boss.

[Nov 9, 2009] More on Goldman mission from God: small help to Lloyd Blankfein in formulating the doctine

November 9, 2009 | www.nakedcapitalism.com

Jill Barraclough:

... ... ...

Capitalism : The New God

Trinity:

1. Individual Satisfaction – Father
2. Exploitation – Son
3. Purchasing power – Holy Spirit

10 Commandments

1. I will make sure I maximise my profits at the cost of everything else
2. Individual satisfaction must be 100% satisified even if it means I cheat on my marriage, destroy my childrens lives and end up divorced
3. Exploit whoever you can for whatever you can, its survival of the fittest
4. You are what you can afford
5. Love thy cheap goods even if you don’t know they came from a child sweat shop
6. Thou shall not worship false Gods: socialism, communism, et al
7. Thou shall be faithful and not lie with another man’s wife unless our wife failed to deliver for a few days or I see someone else I want in the street round the corner, like the latest purchase from that tv store down the road I just had to have as it was 50 inches wide not 45 like the one I have already.
8. Individual success and power are everything crush all enemies that stand in your way.
9. Avoid giving money to charity it is rescuing and people should be responsible for their own problems even if they are not self inflicted or were originally caused by our neoliberal economic and political policies.
10. Lend support to wars and support dictators if there is cheap oil or cheap access to valuable resources to be gained as our country has to be the most wealthy and powerful.

New Testament Most Important of all these Commands not love thy neighbour :

Love myself and everyone else can have the breadcrumbs that fall from my table

12 Disciples – Enablers, Message Delivery Systems, Promoters

* World Bank & IMF
* Companies that exploit developing nation producers with low and unfair prices
* Advertisements that promote materialism with irresponsible marketing messages
* Pride
* Greed
* Ego
* Vanity
* Banks that don’t support and help small businesses, yet provide huge overdraft facilities to big organizations who really do not need that support .
* Lenders who throw credit cards at people that they can’t afford to have or use
* Banks that wont lend to people who actually need the money and provide the financial support they are supposed to so these people turn to loan sharks and charge huge profitable fees for bounced Direct Debits and unauthorized overdrafts.
* Politicians with delusions of grandeur that want to control the world
* Judas Iscariot – Enlightened individuals that try to inform people (whistleblowers)

The Evil One

Devil – Socialism and anything resembling socialist systems

Lord’s Prayer

Our Individual Satisfaction

That art all over the world

Hallowed be thy buy one get one free

Thy autumn sales come, Thy supreme shopping experience be done

On earth as it is in the stores

Forgive us for missing the winter sales and we will forgive the stores for closing on Sundays

Give this day our daily buying

Lead us into cheating, sleeping around and not looking after our children

Let us not be tempted to really care about other people

Deliver us from socialism

For thine be the kingdom, the power and the glory, for as long as we practice this awful economic concept

Amen

Note: writers note this is a criticism of capitalism in an attempt to make a few points and is no way shape or form supposed to represent the real bible and the Word of God within it.

Copyright @ Jill Barraclough 2009 Please feel free to circulate this article with the copyright notice, authors name, contact details and Note above included. Writer can be contacted @ loventruth@hotmail.com , or jillb@jillb.me, or website is http://www.jillb.me.

Continued...

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• American Robot's Job Outsourced To Overseas Robot The Onion - America's Finest News Source
• America Online To Build Three Million Home Pages For The Homeless
• The Enron Scandal
• How We Made It Through The Great Recession The Onion - America's Finest News Source
• Even CEO Can't Figure Out How RadioShack Still In Business The Onion - America's Finest News Source
• Lord Under Investigation For Failure To Provide The Onion - America's Finest News Source

Mogambo Guru

please note that stories are of very uneven quality.  Some are really good...

• To Negative Infinity - And Beyond
• The Living Nightmare of Hamiltonian Economics