Miscellaneous Unproductive Time 

[adapted nu Nikolai Bezroukov from rec.humor.funny]

This classification (that can be used as a nice April 1 joke ) was adapted to SAP/R3 from open NASA classification (Miscellaneous Unproductive Time [email protected]) posted in rec.humor.funny conference. It was  reworked it and reorganized to make it more suitable for SAP/R3 usage.

It has come to my attention recently that many people do not specify in  timesheets any amount of time under codes 53xx and 54xx ("Miscellaneous Unproductive Time").  In our company, unproductive time isn't a problem. The problem is  the absence of right subcodes prevents full utilization of SAP/R3 in our organization.

Effective 04/01/2002 one should use the following extended classification of "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" that was by our Strategic Planning Group for  SAP/R3. The advantage of this extended classification is not only that it  will allow you to specify more precisely what you are doing during your working hours, but what is more important, more fully utilize existing Unix servers and Oracle databases. 

Please report your unproductive activities using 30 minutes time slots (although you can use smaller slots as necessary), and let me know about any difficulties. We are looking forward toward reducing this time slot to 15 minutes in 2003 after installing a couple of additional servers. 

Extended  "Miscellaneous Unproductive Time" (codes 53xx and 54xx) Classification
(effective 04/01/2002)

Activity              Explanation 
code
----------             ----------- 
5300 Conferences and Meetings
5300-100 Organizing  useless conference
5300-110 Organizing completely useless conference
5300-120 Same at the resort
5300-200 Participating in a useless conference
5330-210 Same at the resort
5300-300 Organizing useless meeting
5300-310 Organizing a completely useless meeting
5300-320 Organizing a useless meeting staring at 9:00am or earlier
5300-400 Participating in a meeting, while being complete useless for the purpose of the meeting
5300-410 Participating in a meeting to simulate useful activity
5300-420 Obstructing communications at the important for business meeting 
5300-430 Trying to sound knowledgeable  in a meeting, while having no clue what others are talking about
5300-500 Using conferences and meetings for recreation or other personal purposes
5300-510 Pretending to be at the meeting  while going elsewhere
5300-520 Same for the external meeting/conference
5300-530 Same with family members or girlfriend

5310 Breaks 
5310-100 Waiting for Break 
5310-110 Anticipating a coffee Break
5310-120 Anticipating a smoking break
5310-200 Waiting for Lunch
5310-210 Organizing co-workers for lunch  at cafeteria
5310-220 Organizing co-worker for lunch at a restaurant 
5310-300 Smoking break
5310-310 Waiting for other smokers
5310-320 Talking to other smokers
5310-330 Enjoyable discussions of sport events with friends on the parking lot roof
5310-340 Enjoying good weather on the parking lot roof
5310-400 Aimlessly wandering around 
5310-410 Wandering around and talking to others
5310-420 Pretending doing something useful while wandering around
5310-500 Enjoyable talk with friends
5310-510 Same for more then an hour
5310-600 Waiting for End of Day 
5310-610 Waiting for End of Day from lunch
5310-700 Fighting sleep 
5310-710 Fighting sleep during the first half of the day
5310-720 Fighting sleep after lunch
5310-730 Other sleep fighting activities
                Note: Smoking should be reported as item 5310-3xx. Coffee breaks should be reported as 5310-110
5310-800 Extended Visit to the Bathroom 
5310-810 Extended Visit to the Bathroom with reading
5310-900 Recreational Drug Use 

5320 Employee Relations 
5320-100 Gossip 
5320-110 Vicious gossip
5320-120 Especially nasty gossip
5320-130 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at the Boss (in his absence)
5320-140 Vicious Verbal Attacks Directed at a Coworker( in his absence) 
5320-200 Incompetence 
5320-210 Gross incompetence due to promotion
5320-220 Covering your own incompetence 
5320-230 Covering for incompetence at the meeting 
5320-240 Covering for incompetence of your Boss 
5320-300 Shmoosing with the Boss 
5320-310 Pretending you like your Boss 
5320-320 Pretending you like your Boss when in reality he is a jerk
5320-330 Pretending you like your Boss when in reality he is a stupid jerk
5320-300 Dealing with colleagues 
5320-310 Pretending you like a coworker 
5320-320 Pretending you like a coworkers when in reality they are jerks 
5320-330 Asking coworker to aid you in an illicit activity 
5320-400 Hazing of Employees 
5320-410 Playing pranks on an incompetent employee 
5320-420 Playing pranks on a consultant 
5320-430 Playing pranks on the intern/temp 
5320-440 Taking credit for playing pranks 
5320-500 Sexual harassment in the workplace 
5320-510 Making passes at a coworker 
5320-520 Harassing a coworker 
5320-530 Flirting 

5330  Training 
5330-100 Useless training 
5330-110 Completely useless on the job training
5330-120 Completely useless on the job training for a week or more. 
5330-130 Pretending that you are on training to perform home or car maintenance activities
5330-200 Useless Concepts and Procedures
5330-210 Initiating the creation of yet another useless Procedures
5330-220 Creating useless Procedures 
5330-230 Following useless Policy or Procedures
5330-240 Trying to explain useless Policy or  Procedure to a coworker who is not interested in this crap
5330-240 Trying to explain useless Policy or Procedure to a coworker who is stupid 
5330-250 Trying to explain useless Policy or Procedure to coworker who understand their stupidity

5340 Procurement 
5340-100 Abusing company resources
5340-110 Making copies for personal use on the laser printer
5340-120 Making multiple copies for personal use on the copier
5340-130 Making multiple copies for personal use on the color printer 
5340-140 Petty grocery shopping (Coffee, Tea, etc...) 
5340-200 Stealing Company Goods
5340-210 Computer paper
5340-210 Input devices
5340-220 Output devices
5340-230 Storage devices including harddrives
5340-240 Devices that are pretty difficult to hide in your bag. 
5340-300 Destroying company Goods
5340-310 Making Excuses after Accidentally Destroying Company Goods 
5340-400 Using Company Resources for Personal Profit 
5340-410 Running your own Business on Company Time 
5340-420 Working on a second job during Company Time 

5350 Timesheet Activities 
5350-100 Filling Out Timesheet 
5350-110 Exaggerating Timesheet Entries
5350-120 Exaggerating Timesheet Entries to cover your tracks
5350-130 Invented Timesheet Entries
5350-200 Organizing Invented Timesheet Entries to fill all the time
5350-210 Inventing Fake Timesheet Entries 
5350-220 Concealing illicit activities 
5350-300 Presenting fake Timesheet to your boss
5350-310 Listening useless comments of your Boss who probably should know better
5350-320 Additional faking of timesheet to make the Boss more happy 

5360 Telephone Activities 
5360-100 Non job related long-distance calls 
5360-110 Personal Calls 
5360-120 DMV and traffic tickets related calls
5360-120 Divorce lawyer 
5360-200 Infrastructure-related calls
5360-210 Plumber 
5360-220 Electrician
5360-230 Cable company
5360-240 Phone company
5360-300 Health-related calls
5360-310 Dentist 
5360-320 Doctor 
5360-330 Chiropractic
5360-400 Speaking to a relatives and family members
5360-410 Speaking to your relatives in other countries
5360-420 Answering wife calls
5360-430 Calling a friend 
5360-500 Job search related calls
5360-510 Calling your agent
5360-520 Calling friends who left the company to share the news and shop for positions available
5360-600 Financial activities
5360-610 Calling your broker 
5360-620 Calling brokerage or mutual fund
5360-620 Calling about your 401K
5360-630 Calling about your company stock
5360-700 Obscure cold calls 
5360-710 Talking to clueless hardware vendors who think you make decisions 
5360-720 Talking to clueless software vendors who think the company will spend money to make your job easier 
5360-730 Other obscure cold calls 

5370 Internet Activities
5370-100 News sites browsing 
5370-110 Car and sport related browsing 
5370-120 Financial news reading
                Note: time spent reading news on your e-broker site should be reported as 5370-330
5370-200 Porno-site browsing
5370-210 Worrying that you may exceed the number of hits and will get caught
5370-210 Using search engine to find porno-sites that are not yet blocked.
5370-300 Investment activities
5370-310 Studying stock quotes
5370-320 Buying and selling stock
5370-330 Miscellaneous investment activities 
5370-400 Other buying and selling activities
5370-410 Buying junk  from e-commerce sites
5370-420 Bidding for junk on eBay and other auctions
5360-430 Selling stolen company goods on eBay and other auctions
5360-500 Browsing Recruiting Sites
5360-510 Filling WEB forms with your resume

5380 Complaints 
5380-100 Bitching 
5380-110 about lousy job 
5380-120 about low pay 
5380-130 about long hours 
5380-140 about a coworker 
5380-150 about the Boss 
5380-160 about personal problems 
5380-200 Aimless bitching about job-related problems
5380-210 Bitching  about real business or computer problems 
5380-220 Bitching  about fictional business or computer problems 
5380-300 Aimless bitching about current administration
 Note: time spent reading bitching about your boss should be reported as 5380-150
 

5390 Inspirational Activities 
5390-100 Anticipation 
5390-110 Waiting for Something to Happen 
5390-200 Personal Hygiene 
5390-210 Shaving
5390-220 Scratching your back 
5390-230 Tooth brushing
5390-240 Nail polishing
5390-250 Haircuts
5390-260 Others
5390-300 Sleeping 
5390-310 Sleeping with snoring
5390-400 Personal Feelings 
5399-410 Feeling horny after browsing porno-sites
5390-420 Feeling bored 
5390-430 Feeling sorry for yourself 
5390-500 Meditation 
5390-510 Intense wishing somebody going to hell
5390-520 Same directed to your Boss
5390-520 Staring into space 
5390-530 Staring at computer screen 
5390-540 Speaking with ghosts 
5390-600 Artistic activities 
5390-610 Pretending to work while Boss is watching 
5390-620 Pretending to enjoy your job 
5390-630 Unproductive fantasizing 

5400 Networking 
5400-100 Useless e-mail writing 
5400-110 Sending useless e-mail to multiple recipients 
5400-120 Sending Spam
5400-130 Resending somebody's else Spam
5400-140 Spreading pornography using company e-mail system
5400-200 Technical Writing 
5400-210 Spreading company gossip
5400-220 Spreading other nonsense
5400-230 Updating and mass mailing your resume to prospective employees. 
5400-300 Humor-related activities
5400-310 Sending stupid jokes inside your own company 
5400-320 Sending stupid jokes around the Internet
5400-330 Sending games like Shoot Ocama and/or recreati0nal execuables like Dancing Bush to multiple recipients
5400-400 Spreading useless files mail viruses and Trojans
5400-410 Spreading old mail viruses 
5400-420 Browsing sites were you can get a new virus or Trojan 

5410 Event Planning 
5410-100 Birthdays 
5410-200 Anniversaries 
5410-300 Vacations 
5410-400 Weddings 
5410-500 Parties
5410-510 Disk-jockey parties for your co-workers 

This classification was adapted to SAP/R3 from open NASA classification (Carl Schelin [email protected]) posted in rec.humor.funny conference. It was  reworked it and reorganized to make it more suitable  for SAP/R3 usage. 

Created June 1, 2000; Last modified: March 12, 2019