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firewalls.9504 The Dan Farmer rap
I'm Dan Farmer, you can't fool me -
the only security consultant to be on MTV.
I've got long red hair - hey hands off man!
don't touch the locks of the mighty Dan.
AC/DC - from the front or from behind,
you can fuck my arse but you can't touch my mind.
philosophy's the trip - evil 'n' stuff,
god, we know a lot, Mike me and Muff.
A real ardent feminist - just like she tells me to be,
see me out there rooting for sexual e-qual-ity.
I'm a computer spy - gosh thats soo cool!
here let me show you mah security tool.
Perhaps you've heard of it? Its called SAY-TAN
And it can turn any hacker into a real man!
It's so clever it can penetrate any inter-net-site,
you see against my SAY-TAN they just can't fight.
Its slick its clean. what? no! it ain't no bomb!
I've been told it does quite well for fish dot com.
Yes, more than just attack, its has pretty icons too!
So your average 14 year old - he knows what to do!
Written in in perl5 - a language so fast and so clean.
Hhat? Well see here, at least it is is on MY machine.
No back door! really only one little mistake -
but those CERT bastards won't give bi-sex-uals a break.
SGI? Their discrimination it makes me want to explode.
No, its a lie! Who told you it was because I couldn't cut code?
Weitse Venema? Umm, No, never heard of him. hang on,
yes I have some recollection but its extremely dim...
He's a guy from the Netherlands - but he wasn't right,
from behind those Norwegians are way too tight.
I coded it all - yes the mighty Dan did it alone,
if you don't believe it, you and your note pad can fuck off home.
I'm Dan Farmer - now take that down - its not every
day you get to interview the worlds biggest security clown.