The Corporate Jungles Of Cubonia Researcher's Log

The Corporate Jungles Of Cubonia Researcher's Log

Welcome to Cubonia: A page dedicated to cubicle monkeys trapped in the corporate jungle.

Cube Monkeys are disappearing at an alarming rate. Corporate mergers, downsizing, higher "productivity", mandatory overtime and a lack of vacation time or chances for advancement are slowly eroding their environment, often leaving them with nowhere to go. Their habitat dramatically shrunk. Their plight is heartbreaking.

They no longer play merry pranks on one another, and barely respond when poked or prodded with provoking emails. Sometimes they pace, prowling back and forth in deserted conference rooms, nervously growling into cellphones. But mostly, they stare, blindly and disheartened, at small screens, for hours on end, rarely shifting position or noticing their surroundings. It doesn't even matter if the screens are on.

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Monday, December 3, 2007 Life and Death in Cubonia

Today I was taken to the desolate and arid side of cubonia, which is a mazelike, empty land. This area holds a place in tribal legend: The legend of Waah. The legend of Waah holds that this land was once fruitful and filled with cube monkeys, in older and happier days, but slowly they all disappeared, and with their leaving, the land became arid and desolate. This legend encompasses the idea that there must be cube monkeys or some other observer of life in order for there to in fact, be life. In the legend, some were "dounsizt", others "went to waah", which is their rudimentary version of heaven and hell, Waah being some sort of cubonian paradise, where the cube monkey may actually surround themselves with their favorite people and things, and dounsiz being some sort of rudimentary hell, which appears to be closer to oblivion. While the cubonians believe that the spirits of Waah contacts them from time to time, once someone goes to dounsizt, they are never heard from again.

Saturday, November 10, 2007 Mystical Beliefs

I should note that while “asking” is important, it is only the gesture itself that has value. All decisions are made by those of the highest castes, who often utilize mystical visions of imaginary (the dead?) spirits to invoke their will. These spirits have a number of names, common ones being “SeeEehOh”, and “visseprezident”. They will claim to have talked to various unseen forces and have been told this must be the way it is done.

I believe that the higher castes have set themselves up to be considered as godlike to the lower castes. Quite frequently, the lower castes refer to the higher castes in hushed and whispered tones, giving them the names of their gods or calling them children of the gods. Such names as "abich", "bich", "son of abich", "bassturd" and "ashole" are often used. Bich or Abich appears to be their highest god, with the others being lower in the hiearchy. Abich also appears to be a god of fertility, as he/she has many children among the upper castes. Abich is at least a double god, with female and male aspects.

Last modified: February 12, 2013