Ñîôòïàíîðàìà 1992, Vol.4,No.9 (49) ***HUMOR*** Ñîñòàâèòåëü: Í.Í. ÁÅÇÐÓÊÎÂ ========================================================================= In article quinn@sierra.stanford.edu writes: > > > H A C K E R ' S I N D E X > > Number of programmers on any given day who read NetNews: 65,536 > > Percentage of programmers who were going to vote for Ross Perot: 33 > > Percentage of programmers who are going to vote for Ross Perot: 33 > > People on the net who think Ross Perot is an operating system: 2 > > Odds that you'll have a virus on your computer this year: 1:2 > > Percentage of people who have bought Windows: 20 > > Percentage of people who clean windows: 0 > > Number of times, in a given day, someone posts the same joke to rec.humor: 27 > > Number of times per day Brad Templeton has to read the same joke: 10 > > Daily accesses to alt.pictures hierarchy: 4096 > > Daily accesses to comp.sys hierarchy: 4096 > > Number of people who access both: 4096 > > Percentage of netnews readers who don't know what FAQ, IMHO, BTW or RTFM mean: > 10 > > Percentage of these readers who post to your favorite newsgroup: 100 > > Number of users who post to non-test groups with tests: 86 > > Average number of flames per message e-mailed: 1 > > Average number of flames per message posted: 5 > > Average length of time between post and flame: 10 sec. > > -- > Selected by Maddi Hausmann. MAIL your jokes (jokes ONLY) to funny@clarinet.com > Attribute the joke's source if at all possible. A Daemon will auto-reply. > > Please don't send us requests of the form, "could you please send me the > joke about XXX?" Yes, we have it, but if we were willing to let ourselves be > a joke server we would spend all day doing it. We reject all such requests. > Igor Sviridov | +7 044 2638770 | sia%lot.cs.kiev.ua@ussr.eu.net | Fido 2:463/30 ============================================================================= * Forwarded by Igor Sviridov (2:463/30) using GoldED 2.31p+ * Area : #FUN (Fun... Joy..) * From : Jan Terpstra, 2:512/10 (17 Mar 92 14:43) * To : All * Subj : new motion picture! ============================================================================= * Original to all at 2:5030/2 in "NET_DEV" * Forwarded Tue Mar 17 1992 14:43:42 by Michael Bravo at 2:5030/2@fidonet SOON IN A THEATER NEAR YOU: ************ *** ********* ******** ************ *** *********** ************ *** *** *** **** ****** ****** ******* *** *** *** *** *** ******* *** *** *** *** *** *** *** *** **** ****** ****** *** *** *********** ************ *** *** ********* ******** T H E M O V I E The full story of a computer network going to the dogs. Based on the original FIDO sourcecode written by Tom Jennings. Starring: Dave Dodell as Lord of the Rings Ron Dwight as The Evil Emperor JoHo as Frodo Patricia Hoffman as The Antidote Princess Martin Pollard as Larry the Lazy Programmer Sara Gordon as Florence Nightingale Dieter Soltau as lowercase eddie Scott J. Dudley as Mayor of Mecca Ben Baker as Ed Meese Peter Janssens as ECHOPOL1 Chris Irwin as Nobody In Particular R28 as The Kindergarten Kids and Fido the Dog as himself Script written by 1:1/1 Art Director: Matt Whelan Scriptgirl: Mark Kimes Scenario compiled by Parselist Stunts performed by David Nugent Sets created by The Binkley Trio Hardware by IBM & Apple Software by Microsoft & Borland Nostalgia by PC-TALK III Special Effects by RBBSMail EIDs by Qmail Beer provided by Joop Mellaart Variety of catering provided by INTERCOOK Gizmos designed by NET_DEV OS/2 supplements by Peter Fitzsimmons Available on VHS, Betamax, CD-ROM or Punched Cards. Copies on Single Sided diskettes for DOS 1.0 users are available on special request. -!- RBBSMail v18.0 ! Origin: Bamestra RBBS, Beemster, The Netherlands (2:512/10.0) ============================================================================= -+- Igor Sviridov * +7 044 2638770 * sia%lot.cs.kiev.ua@ussr.eu.net * 2:463/30